IELTS Writing Task 2: 'children' topic

What problems do children face in today's world? What should we do to address or solve these problems?

Here are some ideas from my ebook to get you thinking about this topic:

• The lack of closeness in families can have a negative effect on children.
• Many parents have no idea how their children spend their time.
• Friends, television and the Internet have become the main influences on children’s behaviour.
• Teenagers are influenced by peer pressure.
• Juvenile delinquency is on the increase.
• Parents should be more involved with their children’s upbringing.
• Young people need positive role models.

Can you think of any more problems that children face, or suggest other solutions? Is it the responsibility of parents, schools or governments to tackle these problems?

Comments

[Felora]

Dear Simon,

Could please let me know wether this introduction is appropriate for this topic?

Children are the most important part of each society and therefore their families have to take into account their role in upbringing them. However, in these fast going lives, children seem to be struggling in their life. It has been argued that the lack of families closeness, appropriate models and modern technologies such as internet are the most predominate cause of children problems.

Kind regards,
Felora

[Felora]

Dear Simon,

Sorry to asking many questions. This is my conclusion. Would you think is acceptable?

In conclusion, children are the most vulnerable population in each nation and easily have targeted by advertisers or their peer friends. Parents, schools and government should work closely in order to increase children chance to have safer and happier and more creative life.

Thanks alot,
Felora

[SImon]

Hi Felora,

It's a good introduction, but personally (in an exam situation) I'd make it a bit shorter by leaving this part for a main body paragraph: "It has been argued that the lack of families' closeness, appropriate role models and modern technologies such as the internet are the most predominate causes of children's problems." (I've made a few small changes to correct mistakes in this sentence - look carefully for them)

The conclusion is good. Just be careful with things like "children's chances".

Regards

[Felora]

Many thanks for your amendments.

[SImon]

No problem

[Jay]

Dear Simon,
I have a question and I am sorry if it is out of topic. But I have got topic for Task 2 like "In some countries young people are encouraged to work/travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disavantages for young people who decide to do this".

In this type of essays I have to follow your discussion template, right? But I am bit confused what should I write in introduction and conclusion because it doesn't ask about opinion? So still I have to write like the best alternative seems to be to........ in conclusion and give my opinion or suggestion or what?
sorry for writing too much information and annoying you...
Regards,
Jay

[Jay]

Hello again Simon,
I have a question for task 1. can I write like

This is paragraph 2 for question on PAGE 51 IELTS cambridge 2 (test 2)...
Part time working women spent the equal number of hours as full time employed women spent on leisure activity in a week, at around 40 hours. While the figure for housewives was slightly higher than those women who worked part time or fulltime, but the figure was similar as full time employed males.

[SImon]

Hi Jay,

My templates are really just suggestions, and they might not be perfect for every question. If the question doesn't ask for your opinion, don't give it - the question is king!! Don't give a suggestion in this case, just repeat/summarise the main ideas.

Your paragraph looks ok, but I'd add more figures, especially in the second sentence.

Regards

Simon

[Jay]

Thanks Simon, I am very greatful to you. Now my mind is much clear.

Regards,
Jay

[Jay]

Hi Simon,
I have a question can I put both view in this essay?
Without capital punishment our lives less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGRRE OR DIAGREE?

INTRODUCTION:
It is certainly true that because of death penalty our society is much more safer and crime rates are decreased. I strongly agree with the idea that capital punishment is necessary to prevent crimes in society. However, there are few drawbacks of death penalty.

[Simon]

Hi Jay,

Yes, your introduction mentions both sides of the argument AND makes it clear that you agree. So you can talk about both sides in the essay - maybe you should write more for the 'agree' side of the argument.

Good work!

[Donna Arman]

Hi Simon,

I am very interested in your ebook. So, I bought it just today. But, I have not received the ebook yet. When will I get it? Please advise.

Donna

[Simon]

Hi Donna,

I got your message to say you've received it now.

[ala]

hie thanks for your great advice please help me with this topic

Nowadays people can cuntruct or design buildings in any style that they want .To what extent do youe agree or disagree?
thanks

[ala]

Hi im so sorry for my spelling mistake .
Nowadays people can construct or desighn buildings in any style that they want.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

thanks

[Simon]

Hi Ala,

That seems to be a strange question. Where did you find it?

[Ghyath]

Hi Simon
Some solutions
1-encourage them to organise their times(parents,TV,school)
2-To get involved in practising sport.
Thanks

[Ghyath]

Dear Simon

Is the word CLOSENESS is an informal,as I tried to look up it in many dictionaries and I could not fined it

Regards

[Simon]

Hi Ghyath,

Good solutions.

'Closeness' is a normal word and it isn't informal. In my dictionary it isn't given separately, but it is given within the description of the word 'close'.

[Ghyath]

Thank you

[Fira]

In the today’s world increasing rate of problems effect children firstly and more profoundly. In my opinion, several bad situations that the children are forced to face nowadays should be tackled and the children need to be protected from being affected by mitigating circumstances.
It is wise to mention that all the factors might have almost the same degree of influence. Being in a long distance from children and making them suffer from lack of care would exacerbate their mental development and physical survival. Since parents tend to have limited time they are mostly unaware and inconsiderate of their children’s pastime activities. That factor leads to the dependence of children on the television, internet or mobile phones which in turn causes badly to their further development. There are some governmental factors, such as lack of law on child laboring, juvenile delinquency and war controlling that resulted in children’s lagging behind.
To address children’s problems firstly parents’ should be involved in this activity by spending more time with their upbringing, organizing their outdoor activities, pastime and playing some adventurous games with them. It is wise to note that children tend to learn from adults, so that young people need positive role models. In order not be affected by the pressure of their peers the parents should take some actions by changing the school or moving to another place to live.
In conclusion, children’s problems need to be mitigated by spending more time to caring of them because they are the future leaders of the world.

[Van]

Hi Simon
I have a topic but I have no idea to do it. Can u give me some suggestion about the topic
Adulthood should begin when children are old enough to be responsible for their actions. They should wait until they are at least 21 years old before they can drive a car or vote in elections. 18 is far too young
Discuss both views and give opinion
Thanks

[jikatu]

It is true that children face many problems nowadays.There are several reasons why this is the case and some measures should be taken into account in order to solve these problems.

[jikatu]

It is true that children face many problems nowadays.There are several reasons why this is the case and some measures should be taken into account by both schools and families in order to solve these problems.

[niuxiufeng]

In this fast-pace society, children may face more problems than ever, I will explain 3 main problems and
parents and government should take actions to protect young people.

problems

solutions

in conclusion, children are the future of our world, parents, as well as government need to positively avoid them from
problems.

[Tinh]

Dear Simon,
Could you please correct my essay about "juvenile delinquency", and thank you very much.
Recent figures show an increase in violent crimes among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers.

Answer

In contemporary society, both parents and teachers need to work longer hours to get extra incomes. Therefore, both of them pay less attention to children who are in the school age. This may lead children to commit crimes in their adolescence.

First of all, parents spend longer hours on working to get an amount of essential earning. Probably, people nowadays work hard to possess convenient and modern facilities, so parents have very little leisure time. Besides, they may be exhausted, may have long business trips and frequent outside eatings with customers. As a result, they are not able to retain their warm family meals. Consequently, their children are not observed and protected by parents. In other words, parents become lenient. Admittedly, the children will feel lonely in a very well-eqiuped house which has convenient individual rooms, and each eqiuped with cable TV and the Internet. The children can watch explicit, violent films or search the Internet to engage in bad forums. Moreover, the children may join in groups of friends who have the same situation as they do. The children would easily commit crimes if they could not control their tempers, thoughts and actions which they do not estimate their negative effects.

Along with parents, teachers also need to work hard to get extra money to support their families due to low salaries at schools. Therefore, they spare energy to do extra classes and they come to class with tired minds on the next day, and the cycle continues to repeat day after day. In addition, children who are ignored by their parents are often stubborn. They also often cut classes to engage in activities out of school, so that they cannot catch the pace of class. Gradually, these students may become special learners, and finally they become naughty without awareness.

In conclusion, school aged children need the interest both from their parents and their professional teachers. I woud argue that not only teachers but also parents would be resposible if their students commited crimes. However, it is the parents who their dependents need the most.

[nina]

In the modern world, children are very vulnerable and they encounter some difficulties. Some of their problems include the lack of a close relationship with their parents and lack of an appropriate model for them. This essay will discuss these problems and propose some possible solutions.
One of the main challenges that young children confront is that they do not have enough connection with their parents. Nowadays, in most families, both parents work full-time and leave their children at home. Hence, they feel lonely and try to make themselves busy with the technological tools such as computer and internet. Using too much internet has a detrimental impact on both their physical and their mental health. A negative physical consequence of it can be obesity which is on the rise among young children. This is due to spending long hours sitting in front of the computer. Another negative effect is to communicate with strangers through the unreliable websites. For instance, in order to get rid of loneliness feeling, they will look for friends in these websites and these online friendships may sometimes be too dangerous. Another problem that the youth has is not having a suitable model. Many children do not know who to follow in their social life and some blindly mimic their peer behaviors without even thinking whether they are right or wrong.
Parents should tackle these problems. A key solution is to start building a friendly relationship with them. This can be done by providing a supportive environment at home so that their children feel safe and comfortable. In this way, young teenagers will look at their parents as their ally and begin to discuss their problems with them. This way, parents can also easily watch on their children’s daily activities. If children have a relationship based on trust and respect with their parents, parents are the most suitable model for them. Parents should also encourage their children to do more exercise. Engaging in physical activities not only makes them busy, but also is an important part of a healthy lifestyle.
In conclusion, adolescents will face some issues which should be taken into account by their parents. Parents can solve these problems by developing a good relationship with their children and involving them in sports.

[hesam]

hi