IELTS Writing Task 1: process diagram essay

Last week I suggested an essay structure for the following question:

The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts.

Here is my full essay (170 words):

The figure illustrates the process used by the Australian Bureau of Meteorology to forecast the weather.

There are four stages in the process, beginning with the collection of information about the weather. This information is then analysed, prepared for presentation, and finally broadcast to the public.

Looking at the first and second stages of the process, there are three ways of collecting weather data and three ways of analysing it. Firstly, incoming information can be received by satellite and presented for analysis as a satellite photo. The same data can also be passed to a radar station and presented on a radar screen or synoptic chart. Secondly, incoming information may be collected directly by radar and analysed on a radar screen or synoptic chart. Finally, drifting buoys also receive data which can be shown on a synoptic chart.

At the third stage of the process, the weather broadcast is prepared on computers. Finally, it is delivered to the public on television, on the radio, or as a recorded telephone announcement.

Note:
I've also sent a full essay version of yesterday's task 2 lesson to everyone who has bought the ebook.

Comments

[felora]

Dear Simon,

Thanks for full essay.
I have couple of grammatical questions about this essay.

1. Is verb “used”,in the first line, is passive and can I say “which is used”instead of used only?

2. In the introduction: and finally broadcast to the public. Can I write “for” instead of “to”? And also shouldn’t be “broadcasted” instead of “broadcast” since the previous verbs, analysed and prepared, are in passive forms.

3. Is this paragraph suitable as second body paragraph? Is the passive verbs are correct and should they be in simple present?

Following the first two steps, all the weather information then is transferred to the computer, where they are prepared for final assessment before forecasting. Finally, the generated data is broadcasted through TV, newspapers, radio or recorded on telephones.

Kind regards

[Emy]

Hi Simon

can you tell me the mine steps for writing task 1 (process
diagram essay) because I have a problem with this kind of essay

thank you

[Loannie]

Hi Simon,

Thanks for your advice, your encouragement and your helpful essay example :)

Cheers!
Loannie

[Simon]

Hi Felora,

1. Yes, 'which is used' is correct. Sometimes we miss the 'which is', but both ways are fine.

2. You can write 'for' instead of 'to'. 'Broadcast' is a strange verb because you can choose between 2 past participles: either 'broadcast' or 'broadcasted'. Both are correct past participles.

3. Your paragraph is good. Use 'it' instead of 'they' as the pronoun referring to 'information'.

Hope this helps

...

Hi Emy,

Do you mean 'nine' steps? I'm not sure what you mean. The essay above is a process diagram essay. I've done some other lessons about processes - have a look through all the lessons in the task 1 section.

...

No problem Loannie.

Simon

[Emy]

Hi Simon

I mean what is the mine steps to write any process diagram essay

thank you

[Simon]

Hi Emy,

I don't understand what you mean by "mine steps". Can you explain in a different way?

[Simon]

Emy,

Have a look at these 2 lessons:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2009/12/ielts-writing-task-1-describe-a-process.html

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2009/12/ielts-writing-task-1-describe-a-process-1.html

I hope this helps,

Simon

[adverb]

Hi,Simon.
When I refer to the lowest point, is it Ok to say" reach the bottom of。。。" or "bottoming at。。。"？ Are there any other alternatives?

Regards

[Simon]

Hi Adverb,

I wouldn't write "reached the bottom" or "bottoming". Just write "the number of x reached its lowest point" or "fell to its lowest point".

You will only have to write this once (there is only one lowest point) so you don't really need any alternatives. If it were me, I'd just use the phrases I've suggested above.

All the best

Simon

[dushyant]

Hi Simon,

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2009/12/ielts-writing-task-1-describe-a-process.html

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2009/12/ielts-writing-task-1-describe-a-process-1.html

Both of these two links are now working, can you please upload them again thanks

[payal]

describe the process of distilling salty water into fresh water.

[Simon]

Hi Payal,

Have you got the diagram for that question?

[Bunny]

what a useful website!
I had been really confused about how to write in a diagram,finally I got the technique from here!
Thank you,Simon!
I wish I could have known this website earlier!
I will sit for IELTS next week...
In many textbooks,it is always suggested to add a conclusion at the end of task 1,but now I decide to follow what you teach us,hopefully I will get a high score this time~~

[Simon]

Hi Bunny,

I'm glad you found the site in time!

Best of luck in your test.

[Aleaf Sun]

Dear Simon,

I just want to know if it is ok for me to write "on radio" in stead of "on the radio" in the last paragraph of your essay.

Thank you.

Aleaf

[Simon]

Hi Aleaf,

English speakers usually say "on the radio".

[Essay Writing]

Wow you made some great points here, i got to say that i like visiting and reading your article, yo have done a great job man, awesome.

[Moka]

Dear Simon ,
Could you please tell me why did you say secondly,incoming inf may be collected directly by radar and analyses on RADAR SCREEN or synoptic chart?
As the figure reveals only from radar to synoptic chart.
Please explain.
Thanks a lot,

[Simon]

Hi Moka,

There is a small line from the radar picture to the radar screen. I assume this line refers to radar information from the radar station OR information that originally came from satellites.

[saeed hedayati]

hi buddy
good job
just wanna tell u that d 1st sentence in d 3rd paragraph is not correct!!!
Looking at the first and second stages of the process, (there!!!) are three ways of collecting weather data and three ways of analysing it.
grammatically speaking u r supposed to put the subject of the verb looking after the punctuation.
Looking at the first and second stages of the process, (I) can say there are three ways of collecting weather data and three ways of analysing it.
best

[Simon]

Hi Saeed,

I'm afraid you are wrong. It's very normal in English to begin sentences or clauses with "there are" e.g. "There are five people in my class."

[sohaib]

hi Simon
"at the third stage of the process"
could it be
"at the third stage IN the process"

[sohaib]

one more thing
i know it is better to write "the diagram shows" but to avoid repetition can i write "as shown on the diagram"

[Simon]

Hi Sohaib,

Yes, 'in' is fine.

You will probably only write "the diagram shows" once in the introduction, so don't worry about that.

[susan]

thank simon!
What a really excellent website
best wish for you

[susan]

can i write:
first way
second way
instead of firstly, secondly
thank you in advance

[Simon]

Thanks Susan!

No don't write 'first way' etc. We would never write that in English.

[Li]

Hi Simon,

I dont think the links that you mentioned in one of your comments are working.

If you can have a look that would be great.

Many thanks. And thank you also for your great website.

Li.

[Simon]

Hi Li,

I think this is the link you need:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2011/09/ielts-writing-task-1-process-diagrams.html

[Anna]

Hi Simon,

On the second paragraph, you wrote:
"..beginning with the collection of information.."

Can i change the sentence with
"..beginning with the collecting information.."

Thanks a lot,

[cgds]

hi simon,
my introduction is : '' the process diagram illustrates which methods are used by the Australian Bureau of Meteorology to have information on the weather to obtain reliable forecasts. ''
is it correct?

[Ha]

hi simon,
i think what Saeed means is that if we use present participle -ing at the beginning of a sentence, then there should be the same Subject ,i.e who looks at the .....? the answer is "I" so the main clause should begin with "i can say there are...."
my warmest thank for your job

[Priya]

Hello Simon,
thank you so much for great learning stuff.
I am bit confused in writing tasks.I want to know two things...

Firstly, can't we spend more than 20 minutes on first task?

Secondly,I need help regarding this topic "Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults". Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

I want to know that I have to present the positive sides of both views or I should mention the positive side of the view which I am favoring....

[Simon]

Hi Ha,

Yes, but it's normal to miss the "I can say" part and start with "there are" after the comma. Believe me, it's completely normal to write the kind of sentence that I wrote.

[Ha]

hi Simon,
I can't agree with you more. have a nice day :)

[Gary]

Hi Simon
I saw for a few times that you mentioned "I've also sent ... to everyone who has bought the ebook. "
I guess this is only true for buyers of your book in the past rather than those at the moment. Is that true? Or can I also receive these materials? ([email protected]) Thanks.
Gary

[email protected]

[Simon]

Hi Gary,

Everyone who buys the ebook gets the same extra materials. If you bought the ebook more recently, I repackaged the extra materials as 3 attached documents instead of around 10 shorter attachments.

[Ruby]

Thank you, Simon. What a careflly analyzed article ~!

[Ruby]

Oops~it was "carefully".

Pardon~

[stratigopoulou kiki]

Dear Simon,i do not really want to ask you something but i would like to thank you for this useful advice and information.unfortunately i am very anxious for the exams because the limited time preesure me enough....it is a stessful procedure.good luck to everyone..

[ravi]

Hi Simon Sir,
You are completely right in the case of questions are asked by Ha and Saeed. It's too simple and normal to use in English, there is no need to write any phrase like I can say..

[Faisal Ahmed]

Great place for IELTS test takers! I appreciate your efforts.

[elan]

hello Simon,

Can you please give more process diagram essays where like you can compare them?.. It would really be helpful.. They are becoming common in the exams.. thank you..

[Zhan]

Hi Simon,

I am a new student here. While I was reading this sample I did not understand why you repeated the same information twice in one paragraph. Can you explain me, please..Thanks in advance!

It is here:
The same data can also be passed to a radar station and presented on a radar screen or synoptic chart. Secondly, incoming information may be collected directly by radar and analysed on a radar screen or synoptic chart.

[maha]

Hi,
Can anyone please explain that why Simon has not used " the" before "weather data" in 3rd paragraph, while I have noticed that he has used "the" before "weather" everywhere else in this report/essay. I would appreciate if somebody could help.

Thank you

[yogee]

Hai simon ur work is excellent. I do have a doubt that the question doesn't show the process was used by ABM, but ur introduction does. Is it okey..? I'm confused. Thank you.

[flor]

this is great work. You make learning very easy and effortless. thumbs up Simon

[Simon]

Thanks Flor!

[Dr]

"Note:
I've also sent a full essay version of yesterday's task 2 lesson to everyone who has bought the ebook."

Hi Simon,
Which essay is this? I have bought your ebook, am I supposed to receive this essay as well?

[Simon]

Hi Dr,

Yes, you should have this essay already. It's the second essay in the attachment called "sample essays" that I sent with the ebook. It's the essay about students learning 'practical skills as well as academic subjects'.

[Sumit]

Hi Simon,

You have not concluded the process.. It is not necessary for good band score.

[jass]

thanks because iam weak in writing task
it helps me

[nurjannah]

Dear simon i really need your coment about my writing. I want to take ieltls tes but my writing still poor

Here is my full writing.
At the glance, the diagram elucidate, the way of australian BUreau meteorology in showing the information of weather that pick up from the weather in aim to produce accurate forecast information
Ac can be seen vividly, the are many step how to get the information. The first step incoming information such as drifting buoy, radar and satelite. The second one analysin and forecasting like satelite photo, radar satelite and synoptic. And the last one the prepareing broadcast, there are 3 ways to braod cast the information, that are throught tv newspaper reader, radio and recorded announcement

[zaid]

we did'nt get the meaning of mine steps.Would you ellaborate this

[Leo]

Hi, Simon,

I have read your lesson about writing task 1. The 4 steps method: paraphrase->main feature->detail->group is really awesome.

In your essay, you group different "access" in the same stage in a group.

I wonder if I can write like this: group different stage in one "access". Begin with satellite, radar, digital bouy, respectively, and then go all the way to the last.

Thank you.

[Anu Jacob]

Hi Simon,

I have got a good score in Ielts after referring your site especially 7.5 in writing.. I must say that i am grateful for the immense guidance that you offer all the students.
Thank you so much ,
And i have been working as an IELTS instructor in one of the leading institutions in Kerala, India.

[Simon]

Congratulations Anu!

[kabir]

thanks for this

[arnoldzhen]

The diagram illustrates how the latest weather forecast information is collected, analyzed and broadcast by Australian Bureau of Meteorology.

It is clear that reliable weather forecast involves four steps, that is data collection, analysis, preparing the broadcast and finally delivery.

First, up-to-the-minute weather data is collected through satellite in the sky, radar at land and drifting buoy in the sea. Secondly, incoming information will be analyzed and processed with results of satellites photo, radar screen and synoptic chart.

Thirdly, the outcome of step 2 will be put into computer system simultaneously and prepared for broadcast. Finally, when new weather forecast released, it will be sent to TV, radio and telephone center where people could receive.

[Ruchi]

Hi simon
I have a problem in task to because how i improve our sentence information

[Ruchi]

Specially task 2 sentence formation m grammer mistake aa jati h

[Taranpreet]

Ihave many confusions in task 1

[Taranpreet]

Please help me

[Kuro]

thanks
This helps me a lot