Last week I suggested an essay structure for the following question:
The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts.
Here is my full essay (170 words):
The figure illustrates the process used by the Australian Bureau of Meteorology to forecast the weather.
There are four stages in the process, beginning with the collection of information about the weather. This information is then analysed, prepared for presentation, and finally broadcast to the public.
Looking at the first and second stages of the process, there are three ways of collecting weather data and three ways of analysing it. Firstly, incoming information can be received by satellite and presented for analysis as a satellite photo. The same data can also be passed to a radar station and presented on a radar screen or synoptic chart. Secondly, incoming information may be collected directly by radar and analysed on a radar screen or synoptic chart. Finally, drifting buoys also receive data which can be shown on a synoptic chart.
At the third stage of the process, the weather broadcast is prepared on computers. Finally, it is delivered to the public on television, on the radio, or as a recorded telephone announcement.
Note:
I've also sent a full essay version of yesterday's task 2 lesson to everyone who has bought the ebook.
Dear Simon,
Thanks for full essay.
I have couple of grammatical questions about this essay.
1. Is verb “used”,in the first line, is passive and can I say “which is used”instead of used only?
2. In the introduction: and finally broadcast to the public. Can I write “for” instead of “to”? And also shouldn’t be “broadcasted” instead of “broadcast” since the previous verbs, analysed and prepared, are in passive forms.
3. Is this paragraph suitable as second body paragraph? Is the passive verbs are correct and should they be in simple present?
Following the first two steps, all the weather information then is transferred to the computer, where they are prepared for final assessment before forecasting. Finally, the generated data is broadcasted through TV, newspapers, radio or recorded on telephones.
Kind regards
Posted by: felora | September 16, 2010 at 14:38
Hi Simon
can you tell me the mine steps for writing task 1 (process
diagram essay) because I have a problem with this kind of essay
thank you
Posted by: Emy | September 16, 2010 at 18:05
Hi Simon,
Thanks for your advice, your encouragement and your helpful essay example :)
Cheers!
Loannie
Posted by: Loannie | September 17, 2010 at 13:38
Hi Felora,
1. Yes, 'which is used' is correct. Sometimes we miss the 'which is', but both ways are fine.
2. You can write 'for' instead of 'to'. 'Broadcast' is a strange verb because you can choose between 2 past participles: either 'broadcast' or 'broadcasted'. Both are correct past participles.
3. Your paragraph is good. Use 'it' instead of 'they' as the pronoun referring to 'information'.
Hope this helps
...
Hi Emy,
Do you mean 'nine' steps? I'm not sure what you mean. The essay above is a process diagram essay. I've done some other lessons about processes - have a look through all the lessons in the task 1 section.
...
No problem Loannie.
Simon
Posted by: Simon | September 17, 2010 at 17:28
Hi Simon
I mean what is the mine steps to write any process diagram essay
thank you
Posted by: Emy | September 17, 2010 at 17:32
Hi Emy,
I don't understand what you mean by "mine steps". Can you explain in a different way?
Posted by: Simon | September 17, 2010 at 17:43
Emy,
Have a look at these 2 lessons:
http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2009/12/ielts-writing-task-1-describe-a-process.html
http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2009/12/ielts-writing-task-1-describe-a-process-1.html
I hope this helps,
Simon
Posted by: Simon | September 17, 2010 at 17:59
Hi,Simon.
When I refer to the lowest point, is it Ok to say" reach the bottom of。。。" or "bottoming at。。。"? Are there any other alternatives?
Regards
Posted by: adverb | September 23, 2010 at 02:09
Hi Adverb,
I wouldn't write "reached the bottom" or "bottoming". Just write "the number of x reached its lowest point" or "fell to its lowest point".
You will only have to write this once (there is only one lowest point) so you don't really need any alternatives. If it were me, I'd just use the phrases I've suggested above.
All the best
Simon
Posted by: Simon | September 23, 2010 at 10:41
Hi Simon,
http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2009/12/ielts-writing-task-1-describe-a-process.html
http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2009/12/ielts-writing-task-1-describe-a-process-1.html
Both of these two links are now working, can you please upload them again thanks
Posted by: dushyant | April 20, 2011 at 07:23
describe the process of distilling salty water into fresh water.
Posted by: payal | July 12, 2011 at 13:05
Hi Payal,
Have you got the diagram for that question?
Posted by: Simon | July 13, 2011 at 17:36
what a useful website!
I had been really confused about how to write in a diagram,finally I got the technique from here!
Thank you,Simon!
I wish I could have known this website earlier!
I will sit for IELTS next week...
In many textbooks,it is always suggested to add a conclusion at the end of task 1,but now I decide to follow what you teach us,hopefully I will get a high score this time~~
Posted by: Bunny | August 03, 2011 at 09:56
Hi Bunny,
I'm glad you found the site in time!
Best of luck in your test.
Posted by: Simon | August 03, 2011 at 17:37
Dear Simon,
I just want to know if it is ok for me to write "on radio" in stead of "on the radio" in the last paragraph of your essay.
Thank you.
Aleaf
Posted by: Aleaf Sun | August 12, 2011 at 18:20
Hi Aleaf,
English speakers usually say "on the radio".
Posted by: Simon | August 13, 2011 at 16:39
Wow you made some great points here, i got to say that i like visiting and reading your article, yo have done a great job man, awesome.
Posted by: Essay Writing | October 19, 2011 at 11:46
Dear Simon ,
Could you please tell me why did you say secondly,incoming inf may be collected directly by radar and analyses on RADAR SCREEN or synoptic chart?
As the figure reveals only from radar to synoptic chart.
Please explain.
Thanks a lot,
Posted by: Moka | October 30, 2011 at 21:50
Hi Moka,
There is a small line from the radar picture to the radar screen. I assume this line refers to radar information from the radar station OR information that originally came from satellites.
Posted by: Simon | October 31, 2011 at 10:26
hi buddy
good job
just wanna tell u that d 1st sentence in d 3rd paragraph is not correct!!!
Looking at the first and second stages of the process, (there!!!) are three ways of collecting weather data and three ways of analysing it.
grammatically speaking u r supposed to put the subject of the verb looking after the punctuation.
Looking at the first and second stages of the process, (I) can say there are three ways of collecting weather data and three ways of analysing it.
best
Posted by: saeed hedayati | December 26, 2011 at 10:21
Hi Saeed,
I'm afraid you are wrong. It's very normal in English to begin sentences or clauses with "there are" e.g. "There are five people in my class."
Posted by: Simon | December 27, 2011 at 17:03
hi Simon
"at the third stage of the process"
could it be
"at the third stage IN the process"
Posted by: sohaib | February 17, 2012 at 11:55
one more thing
i know it is better to write "the diagram shows" but to avoid repetition can i write "as shown on the diagram"
Posted by: sohaib | February 17, 2012 at 11:59
Hi Sohaib,
Yes, 'in' is fine.
You will probably only write "the diagram shows" once in the introduction, so don't worry about that.
Posted by: Simon | February 20, 2012 at 15:34
thank simon!
What a really excellent website
best wish for you
Posted by: susan | July 06, 2012 at 02:55
can i write:
first way
second way
instead of firstly, secondly
thank you in advance
Posted by: susan | July 06, 2012 at 03:28
Thanks Susan!
No don't write 'first way' etc. We would never write that in English.
Posted by: Simon | July 06, 2012 at 12:28
Hi Simon,
I dont think the links that you mentioned in one of your comments are working.
If you can have a look that would be great.
Many thanks. And thank you also for your great website.
Li.
Posted by: Li | December 03, 2012 at 04:29
Hi Li,
I think this is the link you need:
http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2011/09/ielts-writing-task-1-process-diagrams.html
Posted by: Simon | December 03, 2012 at 15:03
Hi Simon,
On the second paragraph, you wrote:
"..beginning with the collection of information.."
Can i change the sentence with
"..beginning with the collecting information.."
Thanks a lot,
Posted by: Anna | July 18, 2013 at 05:57
hi simon,
my introduction is : '' the process diagram illustrates which methods are used by the Australian Bureau of Meteorology to have information on the weather to obtain reliable forecasts. ''
is it correct?
Posted by: cgds | August 24, 2013 at 08:43
hi simon,
i think what Saeed means is that if we use present participle -ing at the beginning of a sentence, then there should be the same Subject ,i.e who looks at the .....? the answer is "I" so the main clause should begin with "i can say there are...."
my warmest thank for your job
Posted by: Ha | October 05, 2013 at 17:01
Hello Simon,
thank you so much for great learning stuff.
I am bit confused in writing tasks.I want to know two things...
Firstly, can't we spend more than 20 minutes on first task?
Secondly,I need help regarding this topic "Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults". Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
I want to know that I have to present the positive sides of both views or I should mention the positive side of the view which I am favoring....
Posted by: Priya | October 06, 2013 at 19:32
Hi Ha,
Yes, but it's normal to miss the "I can say" part and start with "there are" after the comma. Believe me, it's completely normal to write the kind of sentence that I wrote.
Posted by: Simon | October 07, 2013 at 09:52
hi Simon,
I can't agree with you more. have a nice day :)
Posted by: Ha | October 08, 2013 at 02:05
Hi Simon
I saw for a few times that you mentioned "I've also sent ... to everyone who has bought the ebook. "
I guess this is only true for buyers of your book in the past rather than those at the moment. Is that true? Or can I also receive these materials? ([email protected]) Thanks.
Gary
[email protected]
Posted by: Gary | October 11, 2013 at 04:54
Hi Gary,
Everyone who buys the ebook gets the same extra materials. If you bought the ebook more recently, I repackaged the extra materials as 3 attached documents instead of around 10 shorter attachments.
Posted by: Simon | October 11, 2013 at 10:23
Thank you, Simon. What a careflly analyzed article ~!
Posted by: Ruby | October 11, 2013 at 12:07
Oops~it was "carefully".
Pardon~
Posted by: Ruby | October 11, 2013 at 12:10
Dear Simon,i do not really want to ask you something but i would like to thank you for this useful advice and information.unfortunately i am very anxious for the exams because the limited time preesure me enough....it is a stessful procedure.good luck to everyone..
Posted by: stratigopoulou kiki | November 28, 2013 at 18:56
Hi Simon Sir,
You are completely right in the case of questions are asked by Ha and Saeed. It's too simple and normal to use in English, there is no need to write any phrase like I can say..
Posted by: ravi | December 15, 2013 at 19:48
Great place for IELTS test takers! I appreciate your efforts.
Posted by: Faisal Ahmed | December 22, 2013 at 18:40
hello Simon,
Can you please give more process diagram essays where like you can compare them?.. It would really be helpful.. They are becoming common in the exams.. thank you..
Posted by: elan | April 07, 2014 at 07:38
Hi Simon,
I am a new student here. While I was reading this sample I did not understand why you repeated the same information twice in one paragraph. Can you explain me, please..Thanks in advance!
It is here:
The same data can also be passed to a radar station and presented on a radar screen or synoptic chart. Secondly, incoming information may be collected directly by radar and analysed on a radar screen or synoptic chart.
Posted by: Zhan | April 23, 2014 at 15:14
Hi,
Can anyone please explain that why Simon has not used " the" before "weather data" in 3rd paragraph, while I have noticed that he has used "the" before "weather" everywhere else in this report/essay. I would appreciate if somebody could help.
Thank you
Posted by: maha | May 14, 2014 at 13:54
Hai simon ur work is excellent. I do have a doubt that the question doesn't show the process was used by ABM, but ur introduction does. Is it okey..? I'm confused. Thank you.
Posted by: yogee | September 22, 2014 at 23:17
this is great work. You make learning very easy and effortless. thumbs up Simon
Posted by: flor | November 19, 2014 at 10:13
Thanks Flor!
Posted by: Simon | November 20, 2014 at 10:07
"Note:
I've also sent a full essay version of yesterday's task 2 lesson to everyone who has bought the ebook."
Hi Simon,
Which essay is this? I have bought your ebook, am I supposed to receive this essay as well?
Posted by: Dr | December 16, 2014 at 10:15
Hi Dr,
Yes, you should have this essay already. It's the second essay in the attachment called "sample essays" that I sent with the ebook. It's the essay about students learning 'practical skills as well as academic subjects'.
Posted by: Simon | December 16, 2014 at 11:38
Hi Simon,
You have not concluded the process.. It is not necessary for good band score.
Posted by: Sumit | April 14, 2015 at 02:40
thanks because iam weak in writing task
it helps me
Posted by: jass | August 30, 2015 at 15:05
Dear simon i really need your coment about my writing. I want to take ieltls tes but my writing still poor
Here is my full writing.
At the glance, the diagram elucidate, the way of australian BUreau meteorology in showing the information of weather that pick up from the weather in aim to produce accurate forecast information
Ac can be seen vividly, the are many step how to get the information. The first step incoming information such as drifting buoy, radar and satelite. The second one analysin and forecasting like satelite photo, radar satelite and synoptic. And the last one the prepareing broadcast, there are 3 ways to braod cast the information, that are throught tv newspaper reader, radio and recorded announcement
Posted by: nurjannah | December 24, 2015 at 05:34
we did'nt get the meaning of mine steps.Would you ellaborate this
Posted by: zaid | May 17, 2016 at 16:27
Hi, Simon,
I have read your lesson about writing task 1. The 4 steps method: paraphrase->main feature->detail->group is really awesome.
In your essay, you group different "access" in the same stage in a group.
I wonder if I can write like this: group different stage in one "access". Begin with satellite, radar, digital bouy, respectively, and then go all the way to the last.
Thank you.
Posted by: Leo | May 31, 2016 at 09:12
Hi Simon,
I have got a good score in Ielts after referring your site especially 7.5 in writing.. I must say that i am grateful for the immense guidance that you offer all the students.
Thank you so much ,
And i have been working as an IELTS instructor in one of the leading institutions in Kerala, India.
Posted by: Anu Jacob | September 07, 2016 at 17:46
Congratulations Anu!
Posted by: Simon | September 07, 2016 at 18:09
thanks for this
Posted by: kabir | November 04, 2016 at 13:35
The diagram illustrates how the latest weather forecast information is collected, analyzed and broadcast by Australian Bureau of Meteorology.
It is clear that reliable weather forecast involves four steps, that is data collection, analysis, preparing the broadcast and finally delivery.
First, up-to-the-minute weather data is collected through satellite in the sky, radar at land and drifting buoy in the sea. Secondly, incoming information will be analyzed and processed with results of satellites photo, radar screen and synoptic chart.
Thirdly, the outcome of step 2 will be put into computer system simultaneously and prepared for broadcast. Finally, when new weather forecast released, it will be sent to TV, radio and telephone center where people could receive.
Posted by: arnoldzhen | May 31, 2017 at 08:29
Hi simon
I have a problem in task to because how i improve our sentence information
Posted by: Ruchi | May 07, 2018 at 14:22
Specially task 2 sentence formation m grammer mistake aa jati h
Posted by: Ruchi | May 07, 2018 at 14:24
Ihave many confusions in task 1
Posted by: Taranpreet | June 14, 2019 at 15:33
Please help me
Posted by: Taranpreet | June 14, 2019 at 15:34
thanks
This helps me a lot
Posted by: Kuro | June 27, 2019 at 15:23