Here is a "problem/solution" question, with some ideas for an essay below:
Many criminals re-offend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?
Causes of crime and re-offending:
- The main causes of crime are poverty, unemployment and lack of education.
- People who commit crimes often have no other way of making a living.
- The prison system can make the situation worse.
- Offenders mix with other criminals who can be a negative influence.
- A criminal record makes finding a job more difficult.
- Many prisoners re-offend when they are released.
Possible measures to reduce crime and re-offending:
- Prisons should provide education or vocational training.
- Rehabilitation programmes prepare prisoners for release into society.
- Community service is another way to reform offenders.
- It makes offenders useful in their local communities.
- They might be required to talk to school groups or clean public areas.
- Offenders also need help when looking for accommodation and work.
Hi, Simon,
The following is an argument+detail I write about urbanization . I just find it a little awkward but don't know how to improve it, can you help me?
Firstly, People move into cities to seek economic opportunities. In rural areas, it is often difficult to improve one's standard of living beyond basic sustenance.Cities, in contrast, are known to be places where money and wealth are centralized. As a result, an increasing number of people migrate to cities in search of greater employment possibilities and a higher standard of living.
Posted by: adverb | September 01, 2010 at 13:55
Hi Adverb,
There is nothing wrong with this. You just need to expand a bit more by giving a real example of what you are talking about. What employment possibilities are there, and in what way is the standard of living higher?
Posted by: Simon | September 02, 2010 at 10:54
Hi, Simon
Is there a grammartical mistake in the following sentence? I don't know if I used the "as punishment..." in the right way. Help me. Can you help me to correct the mistake if there is one?
In china, for example, people who commit violent crimes such as murder, kidnapping or blackmail are imprisoned as punishement proportionate to the crime.
Regards
Posted by: adverb | September 05, 2010 at 05:01
Hi Adverb.
It seems fine to me!
Posted by: Simon | September 05, 2010 at 09:37
So what will be a good conclusion to close this topic?
Posted by: justin | September 17, 2010 at 07:11
Hi Justin,
You just need something simple that repeats the main ideas.
e.g. "In conclusion, most people who re-offend probably feel that they have no other choice. To address this problem, we should move towards rehabilitation rather than punishment."
Posted by: Simon | September 17, 2010 at 17:36
Dear Simon
I tried to write a conclusion. Is it good?
" In conclusion, the offenders will not repeat crimes if governments and people of society collaborate with them and help for having a healthy community without any guilty of crime. My suggestion is that all of people in country must change their pessimitic view rather than offenders. They should consider them as usual individuals that have right for living."
Thanks for your tips
Goli
Posted by: Goli | October 03, 2011 at 07:27
Hi Goli,
It's good, but the conclusion doesn't need to be so long. It's better to spend more time on the main body paragraphs because these are more important for your score. Have a look at my advice for conclusions:
http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2010/03/ielts-writing-task-2-conclusions.html
Also, look through my lessons to see some of the full essays I've written. The conclusions are always short.
Posted by: Simon | October 03, 2011 at 09:28
Hi Simon
I have problem with this introduction of essay as I dont know is it essential to write problems and solutions in introduction.My introduction here:
It is very often to see that some offenders commit crime again . It can be viewed from many aspects such as poverty , unemployment and lack of unemployment . To tackle this some measures could be taken by governments .
Posted by: Mh | October 20, 2011 at 16:00
Hi Mh,
You've got the right idea. I think you have mentioned both problems and solutions - mentioning 'some measures' is enough.
Posted by: Simon | October 21, 2011 at 10:14
HI Simon,
I also have the problem with intro
The increasing crime rate is one of major issues in contemporary society and what astonish us more is that the same crime is often committed by the same offender even after after punishment. there are a number of causes of this problem and each one needs to be dealt with in a particular way.
Posted by: Zhengyu Li | December 16, 2011 at 11:54
You've definitely got the right idea Zhengyu.
Posted by: Simon | December 19, 2011 at 13:01
sir is this good introduction
There is no doubt that some offenders commit crimes even though they have been punished. There are various contributing factors associated with this problem, and this problem could be solved by taking some effective measures and acting these accordingly.
Posted by: simran | February 13, 2012 at 14:31
You've got the right idea Simran.
Posted by: Simon | February 14, 2012 at 15:57
These are really helpful.
I am learning slowly and steadily.
Posted by: Kanwal | July 07, 2012 at 15:49
Hi sir is this a good introduction? In recent decade, we face with increasing crime. Antisocial behavior is commited by criminal record, more and more. Current punishment is not able to prevent them . Government must take new standard for this difficulty
Posted by: Nazy Jalilibal | February 17, 2013 at 16:19
"http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2010/03/ielts-writing-task-2-conclusions.html"
Can you share this link again ? I cannot open it. It about advice for conclusions
Posted by: Saimai | May 15, 2013 at 17:33
Hi Saimai,
Here's the link again:
http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2011/11/ielts-writing-task-2-conclusions.html
Posted by: Simon | May 16, 2013 at 18:22
Hi Simran,
I like your introduction however, I noticed a slight error.
use 'implementing' instead of 'acting'
Posted by: Tenzin | February 21, 2015 at 09:07
High advanced words for IELTS writing task 2. I am a big fan of Simon's writing style. However, it is not simple to imitate his style. ANW, I love this website alot.
Posted by: Michael | April 30, 2015 at 05:53
Sir,
I have problem with combining these points to make main paragraph. I often found it difficult in many essay.
Can you please guide me?
Here is my into
It is true that many criminals commit crimes even after they have been punished. There are various reasons for this,and both government and society need to work together to improve situation.
Conclusion :
It is clear that there are many reasons for why some offender commit crimes after punishment and various steps like rehabilitation, vocational training programs need to be taken to tackle this problem.
Posted by: Shrad | October 17, 2015 at 14:57
Hi simon
I am new student in ilets .i have some problems
In my writing tasks like vocab and sentence formation plz guide me.
Posted by: mandeep | June 22, 2016 at 18:28
Perhaps no subject in the contemporary society is as controversial as the matter of hơw to solve the increasing of repeating crimes. This essay will dícuss the posible causes that lead prisoners break the law again after releasing, and tender some contructive treatments to reduce this pressing issue.
Introduction from newcome. Please give me your advices!
I have extremely admided your studying methods.
Thank you, teacher.
Posted by: Martin | July 30, 2016 at 18:17
Hi Simon sir
I am preparing myself for second time Ielts exam and in first attempt I got 5.5 bands in writing module,but I need 6 bands.so please help me to improve my writing skills by sharing some ideas to me.I hope you will reply me and also give me solution of my problem.finally, thanks allot sir.
Posted by: Manish Kumar | March 16, 2019 at 16:06