Below is a 'band 9' paragraph about the benefits of zoos. I took the vocabulary ideas from this lesson (click here) and organised them in the following way:
- Simple topic sentence.
- The main benefit is that...
- Another advantage of zoos is that...
- From a personal point of view,...
I've underlined the band 9 vocabulary.
Zoos have several benefits. The main benefit is that zoos play an important role in wildlife conservation. They help to protect endangered species, such as pandas or rhinos, and allow scientists to study animal behaviour. Another advantage of zoos is that they employ large numbers of people, therefore providing job opportunities and income for the local area. Also, the money that zoos make can be used for conservation projects. From a personal point of view, zoos are interesting, educational and fun. They are entertaining for families, and teach children to appreciate wildlife and nature.
Thank you Simon, that's a possible topic I haven't practiced yet.
Posted by: Sankalay | May 25, 2011 at 10:21
pros and cons of zoos
zoos are the artificial environments that have made by people for wild animals. While it has several benefits it is said that zoos are playing crucial role in conservating endangered wlid life species that has put in to geopardy.For example,panda is seems to be extinct due to environmental degradation
Animals in the zoos are sound source for research doers.Specially for the scientists ,it is a golden opportunity to observe their behaviour very closely .Another valuable aspect of zoos , they occupy enormous .numbers of people there with variety of skills to strength local economic health.For educational purposes they are the one of ideal places to absorb knowledge at a greater extent.While gaining knowledge anybody can enjoy there in spite of age gap.
Posted by: deepika gunasekara kankanamge | May 25, 2011 at 10:57
thank you very much simon>>> my problem is how to make short and nice topic sentence. Now i realized that try to make a simple
Posted by: pallav | May 25, 2011 at 11:05
On the other hand zoos has been criticized since it is not ethical effort according to humanity, Proponants of this view point indicate restricting their natural habitats into a small gap is unacceptable.They lose their freedom in terms of hunting ,mating and roaming.There would not be a sound environment for breeding freely.
Posted by: deepika gunasekara kankanamge | May 25, 2011 at 11:05
Hi Simon
I don't mean to be rude to you but Iwould like to ask whether you would really say 'fun' is band 9 vocabulary?
Posted by: polly | May 25, 2011 at 11:46
Hi Polly,
It's not the word 'fun' that I wanted to highlight, it's the use of 3 adjectives together - this is very typical of the way native speakers write.
PS. It's a good question - I didn't find it rude at all.
Posted by: Simon | May 25, 2011 at 14:17
Hi, Simon.
Can you help me to fugure out whether there is something unsuitable in the following sentence.
"It has been argued that it is totally unfair that athletes earn much more money than professionals who succeed in other vital fields."
Posted by: adverb | May 25, 2011 at 16:50
hi simon
I have difficulties in finding ideas quickly,actually ,I bought your book,What can i do ,i can't finish writing on 40 minuts, my test will be on 25 of jun .do you think i can mange by practicing , i do four essay per day
Posted by: salwa | May 25, 2011 at 21:03
Hi Adverb,
It looks fine to me.
...
Hi Salwa,
Yes, just keep practising using the 4-paragraph technique that I use. Try taking 10 minutes to plan some really good ideas, then it should be easier to write your essay.
Posted by: Simon | May 25, 2011 at 23:09
Hi simon.
Can you tell me how is my introduction about the following sample:
Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
My intro:
These days ,there are a great amount of debate on subject of advertising. However I believe that while we can be persuaded to buy stuff that is not necessary to us, our life can be improved by the new products that ads introduced to us.
Or
These days ,there are a great amount of debate on subject of advertising. To a great extent I believe our life can be improved by the new products that ads introduced to us. However we can be persuaded to buy stuff that is not necessary to us.
Posted by: esmaeil | May 27, 2011 at 12:34
hi simon
Which sentences is correct:
Take Russia and Japan for example.
Or
Take Russia and Japan for examples.
Posted by: esmaeil | May 27, 2011 at 12:36
Hi Esmaeil,
Both introductions are fine.
The first sentence is correct: "for example"
Posted by: Simon | May 27, 2011 at 17:19
Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views.
In this modern world, perspectives of how to keep animals are varied between people. Some people think about caging them in zoos or forests while others think it is illogical to limit animals’ movements. I am going to discuss these views according to environmental, personal and economic perspectives.
Keeping some animals in zoos will protect them against predators , bad weather, and food availability. Nevertheless, keeping animals free is more logical than isolating them because if we keep animals caged, they would not be able to have fresh air and chase other animals. Therefore, it is Cruel keeping animals confined in small spaces , it is advisable to put our efforts into keeping our creatures in their natural habitats, in order to give them the opportunity to experience normal life.
Keeping animals is essential because some animals are in fact becoming extinct. Although keeping these animals is costly , the profits made by keeping these animals are substantial. Take Indian lions for example. A wide range of people travel to India to see these animals in circuses in India. However, some people think that governments should invest the money in improving the infra structure of their nations instead. Building new electrical power station , for instance, is more important than spending thousands of pounds to preserve certain creatures from extinction.
Lastly, keeping animals is important for study and research whereas others think We have no right to use animals for entertainment and in labs .
To conclude, keeping animals in zoos might have many values but it is irrational to keep these animals away from their natural habitat. The reasons are that besides they are not vulnerable creatures , they have the right to survive independently because of having feelings and emotions as human.
Posted by: sulaiman | May 28, 2011 at 17:34
This is my task2 writing test yesterday 28/01/2011 in Aston university birmingham to share with you
Rich countries often give financial aid to poor countries, but it does not solve the poverty, so rich countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than the financial aid.what extend do you agree or disagree?
Posted by: somia | May 29, 2011 at 13:52
Thanks Somia. Good luck!
Posted by: Simon | May 30, 2011 at 15:11
Can i know when should we put 's' after the uncountable nouns?? Because as i know, uncountable nouns are not suppose to have plural form, but i had came across some, such as foods, feelings, perspectives and etc.
Posted by: Marne | June 01, 2011 at 08:03
Hi Marne,
The problem is that some nouns can be countable OR uncountable depending on the context. e.g. We say "would you like some more food?" (uncountable), but "meat, fish and vegetables are foods" (countable).
You just need to use the dictionary when you're not sure.
Posted by: Simon | June 01, 2011 at 11:31
Hi Simon,
I would like to ask about the length of the essay. Do we just have to write between 250-350 words for a high band? Content-wise is it enough? Thanks.
Posted by: Daniel | June 19, 2011 at 14:08
Hi Daniel,
There is no upper limit on the number of words. It's definitely possible to write 250-260 words and still get a band 9 - you don't need more than that, but it's fine if you do write more.
Posted by: Simon | June 20, 2011 at 18:32
Hi Simon!
Can you help me? I am extremely perplexed about this paragraph.
If I'm not mistaken, the essay question was "discuss both views", but why did you mention your opinion on the zoos?
(by the way, should we say "opinion on..." Or "opinion about"?)
thank you very much! Sorry for troubling you!!!
Posted by: Helen | October 05, 2011 at 09:02
Hi Helen,
When I said "from a personal point of view", I didn't necessarily mean that this is only my view - I meant "from the point of view of individual people who visit zoos".
You can say 'on' or 'about'.
Posted by: Simon | October 05, 2011 at 10:03
Hi Simon,
I wrote this paragraph using your ideas:)
On the other hand, there some drawbacks too. Firstly, zoos are artificial environments and can cause animals such as tigers, eagles or crocodiles to lose their instinct to hunt for food. Therefore, it would be much better to save endangered animals by protecting their natural habitats. Forests, for example, provide natural habitats for millions of species of wild animals. Secondly, keeping animals in cages is unethical. Zoos exhibit animals with the aim of making profit. Using animals for entertainment is against the morale. Thus, we have no right to do so.
Posted by: Ilyos | April 26, 2012 at 12:10
Hi Simon,
here is my introduction
It is true that more and more animals are being kept in zoos, away from their natural habitat. Although increasing numbers of people argue in favor of zoos, some others, however, point out the drawbacks.
Posted by: Ilyos | April 26, 2012 at 12:24
hi,simon
i have a problem in vocabulary and i want to have 7.5 bands,could u please tell me what can i do in short term my test is on 26june
Posted by: narinder kaur | June 06, 2012 at 18:30
Hi Narinder,
There is no special vocabulary list that you can learn, so just keep studying! I'm sure you'll find plenty to study here on the site.
Posted by: Simon | June 07, 2012 at 16:02
Hello sir how we can get 8 band ???
i mean any special method's or trick's ?
Posted by: RAJ | June 25, 2012 at 18:37
There are no tricks I'm afraid Raj. Hard work and practice are the only ways to get an 8.
Posted by: Simon | June 26, 2012 at 11:24
Hi,simon
what is the structure of ielts task 2 (250words)S.A ?
how many paragraph's ?
Posted by: RAJ | July 01, 2012 at 09:42
Hi Raj,
Have a look through my task 2 lessons here on the site. You'll see that I always try to write 4 paragraphs.
Posted by: Simon | July 02, 2012 at 17:47
Hello simon.
could you please see my essay ?
On one hand, a great deal of people promote the idea that rural area has many beneficial in area such as health, safety and entertainment. Firstly, town has very few vehicles. This means that the atmosphere is incredibly pure. Therefore, children can mature in a clean atmosphere. Secondly, village is very secure place especially with neighbors. What this means is that parents will be reassured on their children when goining out to play with neighbors. Ultimately, as countryside is very small area with a few inhabitants, there is collaboration particularly for their children in order to enjoy their life by doing some occasions or trips. It is clear why those people are in favor of this perception.
Posted by: Amer | July 09, 2012 at 20:21
hello sir. how can i follow u on fb
Posted by: kuldeep | November 08, 2012 at 00:53
Hello, Simon:
I am profoundly indebted your significant contribution to our English improvement.I have benefited a lot from your daily lessons.
But here I have a question regarding your passage...
"Another advantage of zoos is that they employ large numbers of people, [and] therefore providing job opportunities and income for the local area."
I doubt whether we can really drop the conjunction before the word 'therefore', because 'therefore' is an adverb and it cannot be used as a connecting word.
Here is an example sentence from Online Cambridge Dictionary:
We were unable to get funding and therefore had to abandon the project.
Thank you again! :)
Posted by: Emily Lin | September 15, 2013 at 06:27
Hi, Simon:
Sorry for posting such a stupid comment. I was only partially right in the previous case. I've just noticed that by adding the conjunction 'and' before 'therefore', I should also change 'providing' to 'provide', as shown below:
"Another advantage of zoos is that they employ large numbers of people, [and] therefore [provide] job opportunities and income for the local area."
Here my question is: Which version is better? With 'and' or Without 'and'? Thank you!
Posted by: Emily Lin | September 15, 2013 at 06:45
Hi Emily,
You either need to write "and therefore provide" or "therefore providing" after a comma (my version). Both are fine, but use "and" if you're ever unsure.
My version is correct and it's very common for English speakers / writers to do this - just Google "therefore providing" to see more examples from various sources.
Posted by: Simon | September 16, 2013 at 12:34
Hello, Simon:
I totally understand!Thank you!^__^
Have a great day!
Emily
Posted by: Emily | September 23, 2013 at 14:22
Ok, no problem Emily.
Posted by: Simon | September 23, 2013 at 20:33
hi
sir,
i passed ielts exam in 5.5 band in all tasks. sir how i could get 6.5 band
Posted by: shahid | October 17, 2013 at 20:12
Hi Simon, could you please check my essay? i am struggling to get band 8 in writing. i shall be really grateful, if you could check my work.
"Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favour of them because of their benefits to humanity.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion"
Trials on animals in laboratories is an agonising fact, however I oppose the use of animals for experiments, yet I admit that mankind is dependent on animal testing for better medical benefits for current and future generations.
To begin with, I believe that human activities have made the Mother Nature a matter of utter disparages, there are million species on this planet, yet human is considered the superior of all. This is of its intellectual ability to dominate other species for its own benefit. Testing animals in not only morally wrong but it also shows the lack of empathy. Brutal experiments are carried out on animal’s every day for the advancement of medical science. Furthermore, these experiments are often performed without any anaesthesia, which puts the innocent animals into the ultimate agony. They are often forcibly made sick in order to check the effectiveness of the drugs. This is unethical and puts a stigma on human race, therefore should be stopped. Otherwise the day would come, when the paucity of other species will haunt mankind.
On the other side, I admit that currently there is no substitute for animals and if tested on humans, it can create menace to life. Science has saved billions of lives by the advancement in medicines. Yet many are waiting for the new drugs to cure their illness, for instance: Cancer and AIDS. Thus the current society is greatly dependent on animal testing.
After looking at both points, it is foreseeable that animal testing would continue for decades to come until the pragmatic measure to replace them is discovered. Hence I suggest that the use of animals for testing should be limited to improve the public health and preventive medicine only and must be banned in other areas like: clothing/Manchester/accessories businesses.
Posted by: rajni | February 05, 2014 at 00:02
Hi Simon . I have some problem with my writting task 2 . i think i dont have enough ideas to finish my essay i mean my outlook and fantsy is not so good as i know and by the way how can i iprove my vocabulary ?thanks for answer
Posted by: kamol | March 12, 2014 at 11:18
Hello Simon,
The IELTS requires us to "include relevant examples from our experience", so how does this paragraph get a band 9 by explaining ideas without any "specific" example provided? (I don't mean to be rude. I just don't understand the rationale). Thank you : )
Posted by: Fann | February 23, 2020 at 21:26