IELTS Writing Task 1: full essay (describe a map)

In last week's lesson we looked at a 'describe a map' question. If you wrote an essay for this question, compare it with my essay below.

Here's my band 9 essay. I focused on describing similarities and differences.

The map shows two potential locations (S1 and S2) for a new supermarket in a town called Garlsdon.

The main difference between the two sites is that S1 is outside the town, whereas S2 is in the town centre. The sites can also be compared in terms of access by road or rail, and their positions relative to three smaller towns.

Looking at the information in more detail, S1 is in the countryside to the north west of Garlsdon, but it is close to the residential area of the town. S2 is also close to the housing area, which surrounds the town centre.

There are main roads from Hindon, Bransdon and Cransdon to Garlsdon town centre, but this is a no traffic zone, so there would be no access to S2 by car. By contrast, S1 lies on the main road to Hindon, but it would be more difficult to reach from Bransdon and Cransdon. Both supermarket sites are close to the railway that runs through Garlsdon from Hindon to Cransdon.

Comments

[Diego]

Thank you for this post Simon. Its really helpful.
Ive got a question regardering single and double line graphs. Ive read on ielts-blog website that u need to write about all years that appear in the graph ..basically talk about everything without throwing any information away.While on your blog you advised to talk about the first year, mention a key point and also talk about the last year at the end..
My test is on Saturday (13th) and I'm doing the last revisions and just read it and got a bit confused..
I think im going to do what you said as you have a lot of experience with ielts.. but i just wonder if the way she said would work too..
Thank you

[deepika]

hi Diego

i wish you all the best to reach a higher band score

[Kevin]

How are you Simon, I have read your essay and have learnt a lot. There are 2 things I am not sure about :
1. "No car is allowed in the area " or "no cars are allowed in the area "
2. Should I compare 2 locations like this:

However, S2's advantages seem to predominate as it stays in the intersection of three main roads and one railway where a large number of people pass by every day .

Thank you .

[Kevin]

One more thing, should I write a conclusion for task 1 writing because I have seen not only you but also many ielts samples don't do it :)

[Kasia]

Hi Simon,

it's my 1st post on your site,but recently I have been mainly viewing your site .It's great,as well as your book .I have problems with writing,I set the exam 4 times...got overall band 7.5 every time just couldn't score more than 7.0 in writing...I need to score 7.5 in each domain and I'm really frustrated with essays .I guess that my weak point is the lack of vocabulary so I hope I will improve it thanks to your book.

thank you

[Ed]

Hi Simon,

I looked again carefully on S1 and S2 and I do see S2 is closer to railway than S1 but S1 is closer to main roads than S2. Sorry, I cannot see "S1 lies on the main road". It seems to be some distance from S1 to main roads.
Can you clarify this for me?
Thanks.

[Jess]

Hi Simon,

I'm following your site to prepare myself for the exam. Few days are remaining and I'm quite nervous. Your site is really helpful. I hope I'll be able to get good band.Would you like to give me any advice because I don't have any teacher and I consider you as my teacher.

Thank you.

[Simon]

Hi Diego,

If you have a graph with 3 or 4 lines, it's impossible to describe every year shown in only 20 minutes. Every question tells you to SELECT the most important features.

Good luck!

...

Hi Kevin,

1. No cars are...
2. I don't think it is your job to decide which location is best. The task is just "describe what you see". Examiners consider opinions to be irrelevant.

Read this lesson about task 1 conclusions:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2010/07/ielts-writing-task-1-you-dont-need-a-conclusion.html

...

Hi Kasia,

I'm glad you like the site. Best of luck, I'm sure you'll get the scores you need soon!

...

Hi Ed,

I think you are "over-thinking" - you don't need to be so precise. The road to Hindon is just to the right of S1 - it's near enough.

...

Hi Jess,

Read this advice:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2011/05/ielts-advice-the-week-before-your-exam.html

[Jess]

Hi Simon, Can you please tell me what are the common topics in ielts. It will a great help.

[Vera]

Hi,Simon
I just finished the IELTS this morning.
task 1 is a diagram about the process of producing electricity from coal;task 2 is about education."some people say the main purpose of schools is to make them good citizens and workers,to what extent do you agree or disagree?"
I used what I learnt from here to finish this part,hopefully I can get a satisfying score.
Thank you again for giving us such a wonderful website!

[Vera]

It was "some people say the main purpose of schools is to make them good citizens and workers,not benefits as them individuals, to what extent do you agree or disagree?"
Hi Simon,people now have different views about what "benefits as individuals" means,I thought it's "could benefits the children themselves as well".
Am I right?
^_^

[Simon]

Hi Jess,

Look at this lesson:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2011/02/ielts-advice-you-need-ideas-and-opinions.html

...

Hi Vera,

Thanks for sharing your questions.

Yes, it does mean "benefits the children themselves".

I hope you get the scores you need!

[Jess]

Hi Simon,

Thanks for your help.

[Vera]

Hi,dear Simon,thank you so much!
Again,this website is really very awesome!!

[Simon]

I'm glad you like it!

[Vera]

Hi Simon,

I wanna ask you a question, if we need to describe a process or flow of something being made, what tense should we use?

How about if the diagram show the flow of air pollution and associate with the acidity level that shown and predicted from year 2000 to 2020? What is the correct tense?

Thank you very much :)

[Simon]

Hi Vera,

If no time is shown, use the present simple. For future times, use "will" or "is predicted to..."

[Aleaf Sun]

Hey Simon,

Greeting from Taipei.
May I ask a question from my essay--

Followed by deforestation (30%) which stood at the second place only 2% higher the third reason, over-cultivation, and it witnessed the largest proportion, 9.8%, in Europe where the total degradation rate was 23%.

For the sentences belowed, which one you'll prefer to use.

1. it witnessed the largest proportion, 9.8%, in Europe where the total degradation rate was 23%.

2. it witnessed the largest proportion(9.8%)in Europe where the total degradation rate was 23%.

Best regards,
Aleaf

[Jess]

Hi Simon

I;m waiting for your reply. Tomorrow is my speaking test.Also, can you tell me if the examiner asks me to introduce myself then what points should I mention.And can you suggest me some vocabulary for topic related to education.

Thank You.

[Simon]

Hi Aleaf,

I find your sentence a bit confusing - probably because it's too long. Also, I'm confused by "it witnessed". Try to explain in a clearer way.

...

Hi Jess,

I answered in a different place.

Good luck in your test!

[nursejuno]

Dear simon,
I wonder if you read the reply on this old one. (not sure if it makes sense, though)

Anyhow, thank you a lot for your effort. I learn so many from your web site.

However, can you kindly explain why you used capital letter for direction.
I mean as far as I know we don't use the capital letter for direction, and I think they meant directions.

No offence but wonder why.

Thank you in advance.

[Simon]

Hi Nursejuno,

Yes, you're right. Well noticed! I'll have to change it.

[UT]

Hi Simon,

Could you help me to check which one is right?
- S2 can attract a big number of customers from 15,000 Bransdon population by cars.
- S2 can attract a big number of customers from 15,000 Bransdon population transporting by cars.

Thank you very much for your work.

[Simon]

Hi UT,

I'm afraid both sentences are a bit awkward. Try writing it in a different way.

[UT]

Hi Simon,

If you don't mind, please tell me where is not right in that sentence.
- Could i use "attract" because we can say "museum attracted visitors"?
- or you means i shouldn't use "transport" here
- I rewrite as follows: "S2 can attract many customers from 15,000 Bransdon population who will go to S2 by cars."

Thank you very much for your time.

[Simon]

Hi UT,

"Attract" is fine. The second half of those sentences was the problem (from 15,000 Bransdon...)

I'd write something like this:

S2 is accessible by car from the town of Bransdon, which has a population of 15,000.

[Chrity Hu]

Hi Simon,

Do I need to write which site I choose by the end of the essay?

Thank you for your time.

[Amber meng]

Hi Simon,

is that okay if we didn't mention about "the population of Garlsdon and distance between two cities"?

many thanks:)

[Alex]

Hi Simon,

I have just taken an IELTS Exam last week, and the Writting Task 1 was about Describe a map about the proposal plan for a new town. There is no specific time or period, so, I mostly use the present tense.

Am I wrong? Do I have to use the future tense? (Because I see the word 'proposal' and I think that should be the future tense).

Thank you.

[manjusha]

hi sir...would you help me to write ielts exam...i'm totally afraid...it takes about 2 hours to write an essay...how can i write a good essay faster...?

[sajawalkhan]

would not it be better to also mention toatal population of garlsdon,in the introduction paragrah?

[sajawalkhan]

and we are not mentioning about industries ?

[arnoldzhen]

The map illustrates two proposed sites of a supermarket in the town of Garlsdon.

It is clear that site 1(S1) in the northwest of town is surrounded by both railway and main road, while site 2(S2) in the middle of town has better access with more customers from two other towns nearby.

Garlsdon is a town with population of 65,000. It is surrounded by three towns called Hindon, Bransdon and Cransdon, with population of 10,000, 15,000 and 29,000 respectively. S1 lies in the railway and main road from Garlsdon to Hindon. A railway run across the Garlsdon from northwest to southwest which connected Hindon with Cransdon. S2 is in the no traffic zone of town center, with only railway pass by. So, in terms of traffic convenience, S1 is better than S2.

However, as for people from Bransdon , S2 is nearer. It is similar for Cransdon although people there could take train to S1.

[arnoldzhen]

a spelling mistake: A railway run across the Garlsdon from northwest to SOUTHEAST which connected Hindon with Cransdon

[Tugso]

Wow, nice! When I saw this task, I didn't have any idea. But your essay is very useful! Thank you so much