IELTS Writing Task 2: different introductions

Some people think the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Here are 3 different introductions. Notice that the opinion is clear in each one.

Agree:
People have different views about what the main purpose of schools should be. Personally, I agree that a school's role is to prepare children to be productive members of society.

Disagree:
Many people argue that the main role of schools is to prepare children for their future jobs. However, I believe that the purpose of education should be to help children to grow as individuals.

Balanced view:
To a certain extent I agree that the role of schools is to prepare children to be productive members of society. However, I also believe that the education process has a positive impact on us as individuals.

Comments

[hanasahi]

For the "To what extent do you agree or disagree?" question, can we choose one of 3 options: agree, disagree or balance ?

[MT]

Hello Simon,

I have some questions on IELTS writing and speaking and I'd like to know your opinions or comments.

1.  Grammatical accuracy is doubtless of vital importance and one of the criteria in writing, be it in IELTS or in TOEFL. Do you think a logically-well-develoepd and grammatically-error-free is highly likely to get at the very least a Band 8? I've checked all students' scripts in Cambridge IELTS 1-8 (black-and-purple cover) and all of them are not error-free, so I am wondering if a work without grammatical mistakes is a big advantage.

2.  Have you ever given Band 8.5 or even Band 9 to students in writing or speaking paper? What, in your opinion, is the key to scoring Band 9 in IELTS writing? I know many members on this website are outstanding enough to get a Band 7.5, but they always want to improve and better equip themselves. (some friends of mine who like your websites told me so as well).

3.  "Candidates whose first language is not English cannot score Band 8.5 or above. Speaking like a native speaker is a must for Band 8.5 or Band 9 in speaking. Speaking accented English can by no means lead you to a Band 8.5 or 9." This is what I heard elsewhere. As an ex-IELTS examiner, who knows much we do, do you think this is true? Is it true that foriegn English learners, no matter how fluently they can speak and how accurate their pronunciation is, can by no means score a Band 8.5 or Band 9 given their first language as a barrier? Take Hong Kong and China. Hongkongers and the Chinese can hardly completely get rid of the accent of their first language unless they go overseas when as small as at the age of, like 5 or 6. It's somehow disappointing were the above true.

4.  Do you have suggestions for people who aim at Band 8.5? Your sample essays are bravo, all of which are way better than "very good examples prepared by an examiner" in Cambridge past paper series 1-88. (no offense ) I really like those essays. I in truth have printed them and learnt a lot from them! =)

5.  Do you think those "very good examples prepared by an examiner" are indeed examples of Band 9 scripts? 

Many thanks, Simon. I really appreciate your effort. What you have done so far is superb. I'm like attending lessons every day when I check your site out every day. This's alread become my habit, and an integral part of my life. (no exaggeration) Thanks again, our IELTS techer, Simon! I'm really happy to have an ex-IELTS examiner clearing my doubts.

MT.

[MT]

This's MT again. Sorrry for any typo or mistakes in the above message. I just wrote this post on my cell phone and it's kind of hard to check the whole message.

[mydream]

hi MT
(sorry for my english). If you want to score a band 9, why do you not believe in you? You don't need to be a native English speaker to score a band 9. In my country, as I know, one, just one, candidate have been a IELTs niner so far. Well, she admitted that candidates don't need to speak like a native speaker to get a band 9

[Amad]

Currently, there is probably greater tendency to children’s education than ever before. Nevertheless, the function of schools remains an area of debate, with some believing that they should only focus on social and job oriented training of students, whilst others feel they must concentrate on building individuals. My own believe is that, both should be the aims of a school.

[Amad]

Full essay

Currently, there is probably greater tendency to children’s education than ever before. Nevertheless, the function of schools remains an area of debate, with some believing that they should only focus on social and job oriented training of students, whilst others feel they must concentrate on building individuals. My own belief is that both should be the aims of a school.

The fact is that children are sent to school to learn how to live successfully in the society and earn livelihood. These two are the initial objectives of a human and schools are the only right places where proper skills for achieving them can be acquired. Curriculums have to contain only syllabus that impart knowledge to children to turn them into ideal and productive citizens: being with peers makes it easy, practically, to learn concepts such as tolerance and sharing.

It cannot be denied that students have instinctively individual abilities and goals that need to be identified and targeted. Given that families don’t have the equal the ability teach children, so schools are the only place where they can learn what they need.

Personally, I have learnt at school how to get on well with others in the neighbourhood and workplace in addition to being a successful engineer. My teachers realized that I am good at mathematics. School not only taught me the social rules, but also helped to build my capacity.

From what has been revealed it can be concluded that despite the existing dichotomy in the defining the schools’ roles, it would be better if they undertook both social and individual training of children.

[Kevin]

Hello SImon, how are you doing ?

COuld you correct this sentence for me ? :

There are 2 ways to get to this goal , including long term approach and short term approach .

Thank you a lot

[shalini]

Hello Simon,

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. Do you agree or disagree?

For such que., do we have to elaborate on both sides of the argument n take a stand in the conclusion, please could you suggest, as I came across this que.n the entire sample answer contained only one side of the argument- for which a band 8 was mentioned. I'm really confused.

[mydream]

hi MT
In my country, as I know, many people used to think that you must be a native speaker to score a band 9 for many years. Now one candidate can do it. She, Of course, is non-native English speaker.

[mehran]

HI simon
Isn't it a mistake to use the same world of the question in introduction in task 2?

mehran

[MT]

Hello mydream,

Which country are you from? I'm from Hong Kong. It's very nice of you to share such a bit of good news with me. =)

I understand self-confidence sometimes counts; I do want to have experience from a person who was once an IELTS examiner as well. You know what, their experience of being an examiner is really of worth!

Thanks indeed, mydream. I'll work hard, and you too!

MT.

[johnson]

to maydream

could i have your comment, please?

to some extent it is true that school should play a significant role in building a solid platform "better children for a better world" to become productive members of society. however, i also believe that school should, take into consideration, the essence of shaping individual development program.

[Rocky]

Hi Simon,

Here is my essay, please provide some valuable comments.

--------------------

In today’s modern globalization schools play an eminent role. There are conflicting views, whether schools focus should be on making productive citizens or on their individual progress. In my opinion, we cannot overweigh one over other, because both are equally important for the society.

If schools focus on preparing productive members of the society, it would result into numerous benefits for the nation. Good citizens would be law abiding citizens, would pay taxes on time. Moreover, they would try to make the society a clean place by not littering on roads, eventually it would make the nation a better place to live in. Good workers would make a nation’s industries superior to others. They would make a developed nation by their hard work. Productive citizens understands their moral and social responsibilities, therefore they would not indulge into unlawful activities. It would spread the tranquility among the society members.

Considering the contradicting views of some people where they might argue that, schools should focus on individual progress. By focusing on it, would result into numerous professionals like doctors, scientists, engineers and teachers. The nation can focus on research and development, because of availability of these kinds of professionals, which would eventually make a developed nation. However lack of such people among the society, would result a nation of underachievers. And nation would not progress without excellent professionals.

Consolidating and analyzing above presented arguments, it is evident that, it would be unrealistic to see a society, where schools only focus on producing productive citizens rather than focusing on their individual growth. I firmly believe that, both the aspects are prominent for making a developed nation.

--------------------

Thanks & Best Regards
Rocky

[Ed]

Hi MT,

One of my friend, English as her second language,scored 9, 9, 9 and 8.5(speaking). Her speaking score may be the result of her accent but it is indeed very good.

Hi Simon,

Many IELTS teachers recommend to take one side, either to agree or disagree, for the reason that it may be more challenging to write a good essay for a balanced view within 250 words. What do you think?

[Simon]

Hi Hanasahi,

Yes, that's what I was trying to say.

...

Hi MT,

Good questions!

1. Yes, a well-organised essay with no mistakes is likely to get a very high score.

2. Yes, I've marked several band 8.5 and a few band 9 essays (which were not written by native speakers). There isn't ONE key: to get a band 9, your essay needs to be logically-organised and error-free (or with one or two tiny mistakes), it needs to address all parts of the question in detail, and ideas need to be expressed using the kind of 'natural' phrases and collocations that a native speaker might use.

3. As an ex-examiner I can confirm that the statement at the beginning of your 3rd point is wrong. The IELTS exam was not devised for native speakers - it is primarily for English LEARNERS, so it would be crazy to limit non-native speakers to maximum band 8. A well-educated native speaker should be ABOVE band 9!

4. Use my essays as models for the way you write. The essays in the Cambridge books are less useful because they don't follow a consistent method.

5. Yes, they would have to be band 9 because they fully answer the question, are well-organised, contain good vocabulary and are error-free.

Hope this helps. Keep following the lessons!

...

I agree with Mydream. An educated native speaker should really be BEYOND band 9 - IELTS is primarily an exam for non-native speakers.

...

Hi Amad,

One tip: your introduction should be shorter than each of the main paragraphs. Try my 2-sentence technique (topic + answer).

...

Hi Kevin,

Just put "the" or "a" in front of "long" and "short".

...

Hi Shahlini,

My lesson above is about the same thing: When the question asks whether you "agree or disagree" you can choose to agree, disagree or have a balanced opinion. You DON'T need to discuss the other view if you agree or if you disagree. You only need to discuss the other view if you choose the balanced opinion introduction.

Look through my lessons to see example essays and essay plans.

One important tip: DON'T save your opinion for the conclusion - give it in the introduction, and support it in the rest of the essay.

...

Hi Mehran,

If you use a few of the words it's fine - just make sure you haven't copied the question completely. My introductions are clearly different from the question, even if I repeated a few words.

...

Hi Rocky,

I'm afraid I can't offer essay feedback or scores. One tip: try to avoid long memorised phrases like "Consolidating and analyzing above presented arguments, it is evident that..." Examiners don't like them.

...

Hi Ed,

Yes, I often recommend taking one side. But it really depends on what ideas you have for the specific question topic. Do some thinking and planning before you start writing - then you can decide on the best response.

[Elgin]

Hi Simon,

I think you are the person I need. I really liked your site and I would like to thank you on behalf of all my friends for your magnificent effort.

I have a question. I am extremely confised about task 2. I came across questions like these:

1.....To what extent do you agree

2.....To what extent do you agree or disagree

3.....What is your opinion

4.....To what extent is this effective

5.....In the past, champions wanted to break records, now they want prize and money. What message does this send to young people and how does this attitude affect sports themselves?

6.....Some people think, some think different. What, in your opinion, should be

7.....Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: (for example) There are many types of music today. Why do we need music? Is traditional music more important than international music?

8.....Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: (for example) Having a single career is becoming old fashioned. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.

When I see these in task 2, I do not know whether to support only one side and destruct the other(which I believe is an argumentative essay) or to have a balanced view(which I believe is a discursive essay). Will I be penalised? What am I expected to do in each case? If you can explain or write what I should do in each case, I would be extremely happy.

Also, while writing a discursive essay, can I present both views equally but give my personal opinion in the conclusion or before it. Actually, the type I like most is the discursive essay and I like to write it without giving a trace of personal opinion, I only give a balanced view about two sides and give a balanced conclusion. Is that alright? What should be a perfect discursive essay like? Should it have the personal opinion before conclusion?

Thanks for everything Simon

[Elgin]

Hi Simon,
I usually start using a structure like: it is highly debatable whether fossil fuels must be abandoned or not, but the fact that they are important is undeniable. Then I present my view in favour of abandoning in the next paragraph. After a few paragraphs, I present my views against abandoning them. In the conclusion part, I give a balanced idea like: This debate is yet to be solved, what we must do is to work together to find the most efficient energy production techniques, with or without fossil fuels, with the least amount of pollution.(Actually, I usually do not know what to write in this part and sometimes think to write directly my personal opinion even the main part of the essay is completely balanced) What do you suggest? Is my introduction alright?

[Kathy]

To a certain extent I agree that the role of schools is to turn our children into productive members of society. However I also believe that education process has a positive influence on us as individuals and I will try to give some reasons for this in my essay below.
Traditionally, people have classed education as being the time spent at school and studying subjects that allow certain abilities to grow and flourish, such as reading, writing and research skills. These abilities are crucial in terms of preparing younger generations for adulthood. Many education institutions put more of an emphasis on problem-solving and independent thinking to better prepare our children for future employment. These measures help us turn future generations into good workers who will contribute to the welfare of the general public.
Inevitably, all the aspects mentioned above benefit our children as through the process of learning they often develop stronger self-confidence and also show greater educational and personal success. In addition, teachers act not only as a tool in the process of learning, but also as a role models which consequently has a significantly positive influence on our pupils. Teachers encourage children to perform, praise them and also teach that our failures are supposed to make us try hareder; this motivates children to become better individuals.Since children spend most of their time at school, it is apparent that they gain positive experiences and benefit from the time spent there,
To conclude,it seems that schools are doing a good job turning our children into productive citizens and valuable individuals, and that children do benefit personally from the time spent there.

[Kathy]

Hi Simon
I know there are a couple of mistakes that I've made while typing( f.e. as role models not as a role models); could you let me know if there are any major grammar mistakes?
Thank you in advance and take care.
Kathy

[Rocky]

Hi Simon,

Thanks for your advice, i will take care that in future.

Thanks & Best Regards
Rocky

[Simon]

Hi Elgin,

Just remember that the question tells you what to do. The examiner doesn't expect you to do anything that isn't mentioned in the question.

This means that you don't need to discuss the other point of view for the questions you asked about. Look at my lesson above: for the first two introductions, I would not give the other point of view, but after the last introduction I would mention both sides - it all depends what YOUR opinion is.

For argument/opinion essays, your job is to give your opinion and support it. Sometimes we support our opinions by deconstructing the opposite argument, sometimes we have a balanced view and look at both sides, and sometimes we just give several reasons for our own point of view. It depends what ideas you have.

The question will make it very clear when it wants you to discuss both sides - it will say "discuss both views and give your opinion" or "what are the advantages and disadvantages?"

One important tip: if the question asks for your opinion, DON'T save it for the conclusion - give it in the introduction, and support it in the rest of the essay.

You seem to have the right idea, but follow my advice above, and look through my lessons to see some example essays.

...

Hi Kathy,

You seem to have the right idea. I'm afraid I can't offer proper feedback - if I did, everyone would send me their essays.

...

No problem Rocky.

[H.Yusofzai]

Dear simon i found really good about your site as my teacher recommend me to visit your site. i have one big problem about my reading,although iam doing much more reading practice but not improving from 4.5 band i dont know what should i do i have one month and iam really confuse how to tackle with this to get 5.5 at least . thanks and waiting to hear soon .
thanks

[Vera]

You are great,Simon!
I used the "balanced view" last week because I thought it was safer...
By the way,the topic of task 2 in China today is "some people think a police force carries guns,encourage the levels of violence in that society.what extent agree or disagree？"
Cheers :)

[negin]

Hi Simon
If we accidentally misunderstand the topic in task 2 and answer very carefully and completely but in wrong topic how much score we lose?

[SImon]

Hi H. Yusofzai,

You need to analyse the tests that you have done. Check your answers carefully, and try to understand WHY you only got 4.5: what are you main problems? When you understand what your problems are, you can work on improving those areas (maybe your problem is not understanding the vocabulary, or finding the keywords in the text, or maybe you have a problem with the time). You can't improve if you don't know exactly what the problem is.

...

Thanks Vera, and good luck!

...

Hi Negin,

You might lose a lot of marks - it depends how far away from the topic you go. If your answer is completely unrelated to the question, you will get a very low score.

[Kevin]

Dear Simon, I find this topic a little bit unclear :

An increasing number of families have computers at home.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of internet access for minors?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
Write at least 250 words.

Do I need to give my opinion on which one outweigh the other ? I think I don't have to while they just say : "What are the advantages and disadvantages of internet access for minors?" and "Give reasons for your answer "

Thanks a lot

[Aleaf]

Dear Simon,

After reading your e-book, I just want to say that "You are amazingly awesome!!"
It gives me an idea that we don't really need to use dificult vocabulary like the GRE words, but just imitate the way that native people talk and write. Thank you for all the effort you have poured in this book!

Sincerely,
Aleaf

[Summer]

Hi Simon,

I noticed that there is one criterion saying MEMORISED. Does that mean the chunks such as "it is noticeable that","the key points to note are that", "looking at the chart in more detail we can see that", "in conclusion", etc, will be regarded as memorised, hence not included in the total number of words?

Also is it true that using too many memorised chunks may risk test-takers of getting a low band?

Thank you.

Best regards,
Summer

[Summer]

Sorry, one criterion on the IELTS writing answer sheet.

[Simon]

Hi Kevin,

No, it doesn't ask for your opinion. Just discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

...

No problem Aleaf. It's great to see that you've got the right idea. Thanks for your positive feedback!

...

Hi Summer,

All words and phrases are included in the word count, even memorised phrases. However, it's true that you risk getting a lower score if you use too many memorised chunks.

Note: Examiners are not worried about small phrases like "In conclusion", but if you use too many long chunks like "the key points to note are that" or "looking at the chart in more detail we can see that", the examiner will notice. Two or three of these longer chunks is enough - try not to use more than that.

[Erwin]

Hi Simon! I have recently begun studying IELTS. Here is a writing2 task,which I'd want you to check and say the outcome.
Task: 'University education should be restricted to the very best academic students,rather than being avaliable to a large proportion of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?'
My answer : 'People have different views of getting education at university.Some people think that education in the universities should be banned to the most academic students,while others have opposite opinions about that.Overall,I am not agree with the ideas that university education must be restricted to the students who achieved the highest degree.
The main reason why I am not agree,is that everyone who enters the university has the right to get education. It is important for syudents to get a university education. They have to improve their knowledge of their speciality.If students do not get a university education they can hardly find a job in future. As an evidence this I can say that nowdays there is abig competition for fob vacancies.So,the education which is provided aat universities is essential in order to be involved in a job.
Another reason why the the university education is important to the both the best academic and other students is that people undoubtably improve their practical abilities as well as their theoretical skills. From a social point of view it is vital to be aware of the latest news of technology or health studies. For example if a student knows anatomy theoretically well and has never practized any operation,then she/he can never be a professional surgeon. So universities provide many practices to be a high degreed specialist.
To conclude,I think that university education is very important for everyone.In this way,it does not matter whether the student is the most academic one or just an average knowledged person. The main issue is that universities provide both,theoretical and practical education. These two factors in combination produce specialists.

[Erwin]

I am not doing well in writing.I hope to see your reply soon and what score does my essay worth?

[Summer]

Hi Simon,

Thank you for your advice. :)

[Simon]

Hi Erwin,

You seem to have the right idea, but I'm afraid I don't give essay feedback or scores on this site. If I did this, everyone would send me their essays. Try to find a teacher who can help you face-to-face.

...

No problem Summer.

[dr abdul shakoor bhatti]

Some people think the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Currently, there has been a large tendency towards sending children to the schools all over the world. Nevertheless, the object of the schools remain a matter of debate, with some people believing that they should train people to become a perfect inhabitants and employee, whilst others are of the opinion that educational institutions have to build a person’s abilities. I feel that both of them should the goals of any school.
The fact is that children go to schools to learn how to live alongside others in the society as well as to gain their skills to work later in the life. It is clear that societies need effective citizens to benefit others. This will provide opportunity to everyone live in peace and co-operate each others. For instance, if schools teach students to obey the law this will result in reduction of several crimes in the civilised society.
Moreover, it is expected that educational institutions provide job oriented teaching. Given that the next stage after school is working which means a person should contribute to the society from what he learnt.
At the same time, it cannot be denied that people have different abilities that should be met during studying period. Is it possible that everybody would have the capacity to become a doctor, for example? There is no doubt that everyone has its own pace to learn and different aims for the future, and therefore school are expected to built a person based on these.
From what has been discussed, training of co-operative neighbourhood and skilled professionals seem to be not only the target of a school, it should also take an account meeting of a person need as its important task.

[Simon]

Hi Dr. Abdul,

I'm afraid I don't give essay feedback or scores.

Just one tip: The introduction should not be longer than any of the main body paragraphs. Keep introductions short, and make your main body paragraphs really good.

Have a look through my lessons to see my essay examples.

[MT]

Hi Simon
How can I get the method to writing all kind of introduction as I see there are scattered method that confuse me I wonder if you help me out ?
thank you

[Simon]

Hi MT,

My method is explained in this lesson:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2010/08/ielts-writing-task-2-how-to-write-an-introduction.html

[Dung]

Dear Simon,
Today, I have 2 questions for you,
1, Sometimes you said that “ it’s easier to just support one side” but other times you also said that “the balanced approach is probably easier”.
Is it true that it really depends on the SPECIFIC TOPICS as well as the number of ideas you have ?
2, Can We use Although or While or “It’s true that” instead of “to a certain extent” to express that we partly agree (disagree) like this:
Althought (While) the role of schools is to prepare children to be productive members of society, I believe that the education process has a positive impact on us as individuals.
Or:
The above method (Although, while…) is just used to introduce both sides and you completely disagree with the statement?
Thanks a million!

[Simon]

Hi Dung,

Good questions!

1. Yes, I contradict myself because it really depends on the topic and the ideas you have.

2. Both uses of the 'although/while' method are fine.

[adverb]

Hi,Simon, could you give us some interpretation on the following the topic"Some people think the main purpose of schools is to turn the children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? "

Thank you

[Simon]

Hi Adverb,

Maybe you could say that you disagree because the purpose of schools is to do both things. Then you could write a paragraph about how schools prepare children to be citizens/workers, and another paragraph about the benefits for each individual person.

[adverb]

Hi, Simon.
I am sorry to bother you again, but I think the question is a little bit confusing. In order to illustrate how schools prepare students to be good citizens and workers, I may give examples of subjects provided in school such as economics, maths and science which are closely associated with their future jobs and teaching methodology such as the introduction of group work and discussion, but when I talk about how school education could benefit individual person, I am out of ideas because some of the ideas I am going to use might be similar with the previous argument in favor of the first point.
Could you give me some suggestions?
Thank you

[Simon]

Hi Adverb,

I agree that some of the ideas will be the same, but that's not a problem if you express them in a different way. I think you could say that a good education can help an individual person to be successful in life, get a good job, earn money to be able to buy a house and raise a family etc. Of course, these benefits are connected to the benefits for society that you mentioned, but in reality it's impossible to separate them.

Hope this helps

[Dung]

Dear Simon,
Regarding question 2:
I think if we do like that (using Although, While..) to mention both sides, our opinion is not really clear, I mean How could the examiner know we JUST PARTLY agree or COMPLETELY agree
In other words, could you tell me the way to express our opinion ( PARTLY agree) by using "While/Although".
in following lesson you just used "While" to express "Completely agree" idea.
http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2010/08/ielts-writing-task-2-how-to-write-an-introduction.html
Thanks indeed!

[Simon]

Hi Dung,

Here are some examples using a simple question - Do you agree that it is better to work in a group rather than work alone?

Partly agree:
Although I agree that it is often better to work in a group, there are some situations in which I prefer to work alone.

(Note that the word 'often' is important in this answer)

Completely agree:
While some people prefer to work alone, I believe that it is always more effective to work with others in a group.

I hope this helps.

[Dung]

yeahhh, thanks Simon, got it. After that, should I mention ideas to support "work in group" in 2nd paragraph or in 3rd paragraph if I partly agree???
Best regard!

[Simon]

Hi Dung,

If you partly agree, write one paragraph about each side of the argument (e.g. group and alone). I'd write about the side that I agree with more (group work) in paragraph 3 because then it leads nicely into the conclusion.

[Dung]

Thanks so much Simon!!!

[anna]

wooooo,i just find a really great place to help my ielts writing.

[Supriya]

hi simon
if u cud shed some light on ielts writing task 1 (general training), itwud b very kind of u. Why dont u say anything abt letter writing? I found ur site very useful for speakig prep.

Thanks
Supriya

[Parminder]

Hi Simon,

I have been following this post from last 1 month. Last Saturday I wrote GT IELTS for the second time as first time I lost in Writing by 0.5. I have one doubt if you could please clear it; task 1 question for me in Writing was that "Your company is organising a trip for language training abroad. You also want to be a part of that training. Write a letter to Organiser telling him the same". What I have done is that I have taken Language is Technical Language like C++, Java etc and I have written Letter accordingly. Do you think I will be penalised for that and I might loose marks ??

[Yoru]

Hi Simon,
I've a question about the sentence you used in this class. You wrote " However, I believe that the purpose of education should be to help children to grow as individuals". In this sentence, I wonder whether the use of "should" is subjunctive mood or not.
http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2010/08/ielts-writing-task-2-how-to-write-an-introduction.html
In this lesson, the subordinate clause" they could soon replace teachers completely" is in subjunctive mood, right?
Thanks a lot！

[Koray Guzelbayram]

Many people think that education system is related to be a good citizens or workers for their future lifes. However, rest of them argue that education is necerssary for individual evolution. In my opinion, the purpose of education should be to support younger generation to grow as individuals.
To begin with, education system is most controversial issua in today’s world. We are living in a very competitive world. Therefore, each person should prepare as ultimate equipped for future life. It is certain true that, ultimate equipped is not mean diploma score or studying best schools. In our education system, pupils are forced to deal with homework, assignments. However, they never came face to face with real world. Therefore, they do not really know how to solve any problem which have to faced with them. Thinking the lastest news or events about the world we live in or thinking other issues are better way prepare for future as individual. In addition, they prefer private tuition or something else rather than learning and developing in schools. Pupils can learn how to develop their skills or knowledge through people who well-informed in school.
Nevertheless, being good citizen or worker is as important as individual evolution. Life is not just about individuality. Society where we live has some rules and resposibilities. Each person should know these significant rules and responsibilities. However, we might learn those through society. Neighbourhood or family also has some responsibilities like society. School is a place where learn whether what can we do or what can we do not do. Socity is a fact where we can apply what we have learned. Therefore, implementing is more valuable than the learning. In addition, the information which we have learned in school is just information. They remain only our brain. If we implement these information, they become significant. Being a good worker or good citizen is related to our personality.
To conclusion, being good worker, good citizen or developing as individual is part of our society. If we are not a good citizen, we can not develop as individual. However, most important of all these, it begins with developing as individual. Everything happens in sequence.

[Rose]

can someone please take time to correct or critic my essay. i will be taking my exam this Saturday. IT WILL BE A BIG HELP. thank you

Some argue that the students must be primarily trained in schools to be beneficial to the society. While I believe that turning them into good citizens and employees is important, I also think that honing them in preparation of their own lives and careers must be the ultimate goal.

Schools must mainly aim to educate the children that will benefit them individually. As these students go to school to learn, they are also at their peak of idealism apropos of their career plans. In this way, they see education as a gateway for them to develop their skills and knowledge on their field of interest. By guiding them properly, their chosen career paths will blossom and will lead to their sense of accomplishment. Therefore, as they are trained based on what pushes them through their personal aspirations, they will also be beneficial to society as they become successful on their own lives and future jobs.

While training the students for their individual objectives as the primary purpose, educating them on being endowed citizens and workers is also important. Part of education is instilling proper ethics and values to these students. While theya re being taugh in accordance to their course, educators must not forgett that part of being a human is the morals and values in every aspect of life. This is while they learn individually, they also realize their role in the society. Thus, like hitting two birds in one stone, apart from the benefits they got from learning individually, they will be also a good contribution to the community as citizens.

Indeed, students must be predominantly taught as to what will benefit them as a person. However, it is also essential to teach them on how to be productive in the society.

[Silv]

Hi Simon,
Can you provide a full example of this topic?
Thanks

[Minh]

Hi Simon,
Can you give me my band score for this essay and some advices:
Thanks!

To a certain extent I agree with the opinion that the function of schools is prepare children to be law-abiding citizens. However, I also think the education systems have certain influence on them as individuals.

In fact, most schools are places to train students to be productive citizens because they will be the main workforce and be responsible for the development of the countries in the future. Moreover, it is evident that education systems have to depend on social needs. They are also very large-scale so improving the students as individuals is really complex and uncontrollable. In contrast, transforming the children into well-educated workforce is much easier to be under control. It can ever reduce criminal rate because of the assimilation and the rule-execution. Beside, these education systems save a lot of money and it is very labor-saving while all the students are preparing like each other.

On the other hand, developing as individuals is much vital as well. Because the assimilation is very mechanic in spite of its controllability. The students can not become 100 percent effectively educated. Their native talents may not be taken advantage of at all and that is wasteful. Their abilities are rewarding and they can contribute to nations greatly. Moreover, individual improvement is very flexible because every student has the own suitable job. Students are not machines and they have their own goals, so schools are the only place where they learn what they want.

From what has been revealed, it can be concluded that despite the certain advantages of turning children into good citizens, individual improvement has an essential role in the development of nations in general. Both kind of education purposes should be blended flexibly to get the highest quality.