IELTS Writing Task 2: 'unpaid work' essay

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole.
Do you agree or disagree?

Many young people work on a volunteer basis, and this can only be beneficial for both the individual and society as a whole. However, I do not agree that we should therefore force all teenagers to do unpaid work.

Most young people are already under enough pressure with their studies, without being given the added responsibility of working in their spare time. School is just as demanding as a full-time job, and teachers expect their students to do homework and exam revision on top of attending lessons every day. When young people do have some free time, we should encourage them to enjoy it with their friends or to spend it doing sports and other leisure activities. They have many years of work ahead of them when they finish their studies.

At the same time, I do not believe that society has anything to gain from obliging young people to do unpaid work. In fact, I would argue that it goes against the values of a free and fair society to force a group of people to do something against their will. Doing this can only lead to resentment amongst young people, who would feel that they were being used, and parents, who would not want to be told how to raise their children. Currently, nobody is forced to volunteer, and this is surely the best system.

In conclusion, teenagers may choose to work for free and help others, but in my opinion we should not make this compulsory.

(250 words, band 9)

Comments

[Jessica]

Hello, Simon
it is a wonderful essay. but i have 3 questions
first, is "on a voluntary basis" more natural?
second, "goes against" can i use "contradict the values" or "it is not consistent with the values"? because these phases seem to be more formal.
Third, also for "on top of", is "in addition to" more formal?

one more question, some teachers told me that we should try to use passive voice at least once, because it is a complex structure. is that true?

thanks a lot

[Jay]

It seems to be very hard understanding language...

[B.Mc]

There is a view that teenagers should be engaged in unpaid jobs in a community. I completely disagree with this idea. Below are some reasons to support my view.
The main duties of young people would be receiving education. They should study hard to raise their chance of attending universities of finding a job later. Then it seems that they need to take rest in their idle time when preparing to start a new season. It is very likely to see that they won’t welcome involving in free-paid jobs. Teenagers in fact require to enjoy times when are being young. If they were obliged to take part in unpaid jobs, they would feel losing their youth time. And this would cause some psychological problems in their future life.
The second reason that why this idea is not practical is that this view is against of values of a free society. In such a society people regardless of age are free to take part in certain jobs especially when there is no money to pay. Even if those people are obliged to carry out those tasks, because of lack of interesting they will not complete their duties properly. This may bring teenagers into conflict with people working with them.
To sum up, I believe that due to the fact that human beings have a deep hatred of compulsory tasks this idea is not practical to establish in a community. Young people should be free to choose what type of activities they tend to do.

[Jingyao Liu]

Hi Simon,

Thanks for your EBook and the templates.

I would need to ask you a question about Task2 (argumentation topic). The topic question is: 'What are the advantages and disadvantages of advertisement?' However, this question does not ask a personal opinion. My question is: will I be lower the mark if I put my opinion in the first paragraph of my essay?

Many thanks
Jingyao

[B.Mc]

There is a view that teenagers should be engaged in unpaid jobs in a community. I completely disagree with this idea. Below are some reasons to support my view.

The main duties of young people would be receiving education. They should study hard to raise their chance of attending universities or finding a job . Then it seems that they need to take rest in their idle time when preparing to start a new season. It is very likely to see that they won’t welcome involving in free-paid jobs. Teenagers in fact require to enjoy times when are being young. If they were obliged to take part in unpaid jobs, they would feel losing their youth time. And this would cause some psychological problems in their future life.

The second reason that why this idea is not practical is that this view is against of values of a free society. In such a society people regardless of age are free to take part in certain jobs especially when there is no money to pay. Even if those people are obliged to carry out those tasks, because of lack of interesting they will not complete their duties properly. This may bring teenagers into conflict with people working with them.

To sum up, I believe that due to the fact that human beings have a deep hatred of compulsory tasks this idea is not practical to establish in a community. Young people should be free to choose what type of activities they tend to do.

[Sudheer]

Hi Simon,

Thank you very much for your time and effort to help so many English learners.

Please check my Introduction.

"Apparently few people imagine that all Adolescents must involve in some kind of volunteer work during their spare time to assist the local community. Despite the fact that it is beneficial to the society, i completely disagree forcing teens as it might be against the values of the society. "

Please any one can comment on it and can give your suggestions.

Kind Regards,

Sudheer

[Ann]

hi Simon, ur lessons are very useful. i would like to know how the score is done for both the writing tasks?

I've heard that the score is out of 3 for the 1st task and 6 for the 2nd Task. So the total comes to nine. Is it so???

Please do clear this doubt of mine.

with regards
Ann

[Mh]

Hi Ann,

Task 2 carries 2/3rds of the marks. Task 1 carries 1/3 of the marks . The scoring should be based on this proportion.

[Simon]

Hi Jessica,

Thanks for noticing 'volunteer' - it's ok to write that, but I probably meant to write 'voluntary', which is a bit more common in this collocation. Never mind, 'volunteer' is still correct.

Your other suggestions are fine, but strangely enough I still prefer "goes against the values" and "on top of" - these are really typical collocations that native speakers (but not many learners) use. I'd say that these phrases are 'neutral' and very natural, rather than informal.

...

Hi Jingyao,

Yes, if you write your opinion when the question didn't ask for it, there is a risk that this will affect your score (a little). It certainly won't help your score.

...

I'm afraid I don't provide essay or grammar correction, but thanks to those of you who shared your essays - I'm sure they will help other students.

...

Hi Ann,

Mh answered your question (above). Both tasks are scored out of 9, then the proportions are calculated as Mh said.

[Sumit]

Hello Simon,

I have achieved 7 bands in all the modules in my first attempt itself.I appreciate your efforts and material provided on this site.

You have my eternal gratitude.Cheers

[Raj]

hi simon,,my question looks bit silly ,but,, ,,this essay s type of agree nd disagree not discuss both nd give your opinion,still been used IN MY OPINION in the conclusion,so s it ok to use it,, Many Thanks,

[NIX]

HI Simon!!!
Task 2 question:Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views.
my intoducton :Nowadays zoos are becoming a main part of entertainment and it has many another advantages of keeping animals in zoos. But some people think it is not good idea of having zoos while others believe that the role of zoos is a great in our life both ecologically and entertaining.

is it right to write this introduction for this question??

[Simon]

Hi Sumit,

Congratulations! I'm glad my lessons helped.

...

Hi Raj,

Yes, it's fine to use that.

...

Hi Nix,

I'm afraid I don't correct people's sentences, paragraphs or essays here. You've got the right idea - 2 sentences (topic + answer).

[young]

at the end of the essay, "band 9" is written. does this mean that this essay is band 9 essay?

cheers,

[Raj]

yes YOUNG,, it s band 9 essay,,
very simple nd immensely effective,,try this way,u can improve your writing enormously,,

[savvy]

Hi Simon,
I took recent IELTS test in sydney.
The writing task 2 was quite strange and was unable to get 7 in that.

"Nowadays people prefer to go for rent houses rather than owning. Describe advantages and disadvantages of rent houses."

Please include this topic in your discussion.

[Shafaq]

hi Simon,

I am afraid I am late in posting on this thread, so i don't know if you would reply or not.

I know that in an Advantages/Disadvantages-essay we have to write an objective introduction. But do we have to express our opinion - to which side we have a tilt, in conclusion. For example, in Nuclear Power do we have to tell that we are pro-nuclear or not? Or we should again give an impartial statement like " Nuclear power has benefits if risks involving its used are properly dealt with?

thanks a lot

[Simon]

Hi Shafaq,

Only give your opinion (in the introduction and conclusion) if the question asks for it. The 'impartial' conclusion is best if the question doesn't ask for your opinion.

[mun]

hi simon,

using a computer everyday can have more negative than positive effect on children.do you agree or disagree??

nowadays,computer is essential part in everylife.its look like compulsory to have at least one computer in every family.because of this,children starrtusing computer since a very young age.in my opinion ,encourage children to play with computer is good idea because its the way to well-balanced their activities which is not only play at playground but keep updating with new technologies beside developing their foundation in critical skills for future success . the bases for my views is from personal,academic and professional views.

from personal views,computer is evolution for us which is brings big influence to us whether positive or negative influence.computer is really doing their part to help young people explore the world wide by only searching in internet. as example,children no ned to buy or going to library to find some information but only searching in internet you will got the answer easily and not wasting time.

from academic points of view,computer is part of learning process.when i was at universities,student brings laptop to class to take note,do research for certain subject,complete the assignment or for the presentation task. its really applicable in all institutions which all things related to this technologies. this is very good experienced for student to got these abilities such as expert in excell,word,presentation or autocadd and its really important to increase confident level while seeking for job sooner.

from professional perspective, all company used computer no matter what position he is because all job such paperwork,presentation,salary slip and another work must be prepare used computer.certain computer pay training fee for their employee and its not suprising if tomorrow one of requirement to got job is have this critical skill.

the conclusion is,parents who encourage their children familiar with this technologies is good because their think forward about children future.

hi simon,
please check my essay and give band for this,..
thank you very much.

[Albert]

Hi Simon and all,
I have one question here:

The question says ‘all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community.’ There are four points included in this sentence: be required to, unpaid, work for the local community, in their free time.

My question is: when I say the idea of ‘force teenagers to work in their free time for the local community unpaid’ in each paragraph(for example, in the topic sentences), do I need to strictly include all these four elements(be required to, unpaid, work for the local community, in their free time) each time? I mean if I say:
‘teenagers need to work for the local community without pay’ in Introduction;
‘they are required to work for the community unpaid’ in the topic sentence in Paragraph 1;
‘the young being forced to work without pay.’ in the topic sentence in Paragraph 2;
‘to make teenagers work for the community unpaid’ in Conclusion

would it be OK? I didn’t include ‘in their free time’ in them, and sometime I even don’t want to write ‘without pay/unpaid’ each time, but I still did, in fear that the examiner will think my topic sentence of each paragraph doesn’t include all the points of the question.

Would this be a problem? What is the safe way to do?

[Albert]

Simon,
I noticed in your sample essay, you write:
‘However, I do not agree that we should therefore force all teenagers to do unpaid work.’ in Introduction;
‘At the same time, I do not believe that society has anything to gain from obliging young people to do unpaid work.’ in Paragraph 2
‘teenagers may choose to work for free and help others,’ in Conclusion

you didn’t mention ‘in their free time, work for local community’ when you repeating the idea from the question(all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community.) So I guess it would be totally safe to not include all the ‘modifiers’ in the question, right?

[Simon]

Hi Albert,

The answer to your question is that it wouldn't be a problem. Your sentences are good, and the reader knows what you mean. As you noticed, I didn't include all of the details - we can assume that "unpaid work" covers any kind of unpaid work, so "in their free time" and "in their communities" would not change anything in terms of the argument.

[Albert]

Hi Simon,

Thanks for your reply and it really got a load of my mind! I am really glad that you made lessons for this question!! After reading your sample essay, I realized that my original response to the question(took a two-sided approach but just mentioned the advantages and disadvantages of teenagers doing unpaid work) was not a wise choice! And that was why it severely affected my Task Response score. In fact, I think this question is somewhat harder than other ‘normal’ Task 2 question, coz I think it would be more difficult to write a two-sided essay(one para talking about why it benefits teenagers and society, one para talking about why it doesn’t benefit…), especially when trying to answer ‘why I partly agree’.

So I think it’s easier to write this essay using one-sided approach. Do you agree?

One lessoned I learned is that during the exam, I must first carefully read the question before planning my essay outline, especially when meeting ‘somewhat tricky’ questions like this one.

Another question about your essay is: in the essay, you used ‘young people’ to refer to ‘teenagers’ in the question. But precisely speaking, the age range of young people is larger than teenagers, right?(a university student can also be a young man, but not a teenager anymore). So will some examiner think this kind of replacing words is ‘not very accurate’, according to the Descriptor, then decrease our score in Lexical Resource?

[Simon]

Hi Albert,

I agree that it's difficult to 'partly agree' with the above question. Either teenagers should be required to do unpaid work, or they shouldn't. It isn't an "advantages and disadvantages" essay. You definitely need to read the question carefully.

Don't worry about 'young people' - it's close enough, and the reader will understand the meaning. Also, it's nice to have some variety in the vocabulary you use.

[kuljinder]

hi simon
why you written force word in essay.
statement just saying that required to do unpaid work.
pls tell

[Simon]

Hi Kuljinder,

If you 'require' someone to do something, it means that they must do it. So 'force' has a similar meaning.

[judy]

hi simon,

i wanna ask a question
isnt it required for us to write a both-sided essay?
so for this question, we are not expected to discuss the negative side-- i mean 'teenagers and society do not gain as much as expected'

thanks!

judy:)

[Simon]

Hi Judy,

No, this question asks for YOUR opinion (do YOU agree or disagree?)

There are other types of question (e.g. discuss both views) that ask you to write about both sides. Try not to confuse the two types.

[china]

Hi Simon,
Thank you very much fore your useful website.
Would you please explain the word "therefore" in this sentence in your essay:"However, I do not agree that we should therefore force all teenagers to do unpaid work".
Thank you.

[Dean]

Hi Simon,
My question is if my essay focuses on "unpaid work" instead of "are required to", I mean I would argue that teenagers should get paid, does it mean I will get low score?

Anther question is if I buy your ebook now, will you send me more sample essays and templates with the ideas?

Thank you!

[Georg]

the essay has 249 words!

[Simon]

My computer counts 250.

[7777]

Hi simon,
I am bit confused between the essay of agree or disagree and th what extent agree or disagree.
If the question is to what extent agree or disagree,
Could i develop my argument like this below?
yes it has some positive aspects( such as finding potentials, talents, imterests for the furture carrer or study) on the teens(1para)
BUT if it is imposed as compulsory, it has negative impact on the individual, the quality of services as well(wast of time, as a "tic box",accordingly the quality of the services drops etc.) (another para)

=>> so, as it is good, it could be encouraged to do it, but shouldn't be compulsory.

Is this argument "off topic"?

[tize]

Hi Guys,
Please rate me!!!!! I am so bad in W-2. I have exam in 3 days.

Many people have different views about the main duties their children could do when they reach at teenage. Many of them even suggest that teenagers must spend their free-time working for the community without a payment. I certainly agree with this opinion for various reasons.

Doing a community work, first of all, helps the teenagers in many ways. They become exposed to the social and cultural aspect of local problems, which is one of the important skills in life. When they grow up, they become more informed and responsible. Great people, like President Barack Obama, once spent their time working within their community. Secondly, teenage adolescents can get the possibility of socialising with different age groups in their community. This enriches their perspectives and makes them more conscious to governance, management and even environmental protection, depending on the role they assumed. Moreover, teenagers can avoid pastimes of addictive nature like video gaming, smoking and even drugs, if they are given some responsibility in their local community.

From the community perspective, local teenagers can contribute significantly in different areas. For example, the local council can organise the teenagers for a "planting day", which may involve planting trees in many designated areas. Other tasks may include cleaning and decorating roads, which adds to the aesthetic beauty of their town.

In conclusion, teenagers spending their leisure time working for their community are beneficial in many ways. I believe that families encouraging their children to do so are helping positively both their teenagers and the society at large.

[Rajkumar Mohanan]

Dear Simon,

I have been instructed by IELTS trainers and British council website that one must avoid copying the exact rubric.

I see in many of your essays that you copy the same words as exactly as in the essay. For example UNPAID WORK. Can I replace it with VOLUNTARY WORK?

Please Advise me

[Simon]

Hi Rajkumar,

"Avoid copying the rubric" means "don't copy the whole question statement word for word". It doesn't mean that you should avoid using ANY of the words in the question. In fact, it would be quite strange if you wrote the whole essay without using the words "unpaid work".

I hope this helps.

[sathish jayabalan]

Hi Simon,

I read your sample essay this give me idea for writting tasks. I have few query on your esaays based on my instructor instruction. My instructor said use more vocabulary so that band score will be increased. in your essay i don't find much vocabularies

Thanks

[Shinee]

hi Simon,

i'd like to ask you whether i can discuss about both of the advantages and disadvantages of the voluntary work or i should choose 1: "agree" or "disagree".

thanks

[Fatih Mehmet Sen]

Some people prefer to stay in a five-star hotel when they travel abroad while others choose to stay in a bed & breakfast. Which do you prefer? Discuss both choices including examples from your experience.

It is true that people choose to spend their holiday in a B&B when they travel overseas, whereas some people prefer luxurious five-star hotels. I personally would prefer to stay in a five-star hotel during my vacation abroad, since it offers more activities, and facilities; it provides more security, and the staff probably speak English, so the communication would be easier.
All around the world, luxurious five-star hotels are built to satisfy all demands of their guests, therefore they include amazing facilities which offer a range of activities, such as scuba diving, in-house night clubs, swimming pools, and water parks. Besides, luxurious hotels usually include a number of restaurants that offer different cuisines like Chinese, Italian and Turkish food. Also you do not have to pay for these excellent dishes and generally there is no restriction on food and beverage. On the other hand, if you stay in a small hotel like a bed & breakfast, you must pay for all these extras other than breakfast. Most of them do not even have swimming pools.
In addition, five-star hotels are usually more secure as they are surrounded by walls and no intruders are allowed inside. All outsiders must check in from a security point and get a wristband. Moreover, the hotel is monitored by surveillance cameras 24/7. So you can feel much safer than in a small hotel.
Another important reason why I would choose a big hotel is that the people working in those hotels can usually speak English, so I can communicate and express myself more comfortably. The staff’s being able to speak English enhances the quality of my stay in the hotel.
In conclusion, I definitely would prefer to spend my holiday abroad in a luxurious five-star hotel due to the advantages I have explained above.

[Khaled Said]

In the last decade, it has been noticed that a growing number of people argue that all young people have to be engaged in volunteer work in their spare time to assist the society. I would disagree with that view, so, my point will be analyzed prior to coming to a reasoned conclusion.

Firstly, no doubt students have pressure from school where they attend every day classes and teachers monitor their homework, as well as parents play crucial role to trace their grades and progress. In addition, some adolescents who do not pass have to attend remedial classes in summer. Secondly, juveniles still have a head of time to think about working after graduation, therefore, they still not ready to take a new responsibility other than studying in the time being. Finally, young students might be interested in activity to help them out for relaxation and switch their mind off too. A good example of this are physical exercise such as swimming or football , learning any new activity or travel abroad to learn new language during summer time. However, we should give adults freedom to exploit their time as long as they are satisfied. For instance, they will not be pleased when working for community without compensation is compulsory which would has a negative impact on their performance.

To sum up, after analyzing a point of view, personally, I completely agree that young students should be chosen and given an opportunity whether to work for society for free or not during their idle time.

[Fila]

Hi simon..can i ask if it is okay to write the "we" us,, only, words in a sentence for writing task 2? Thank you

[Raviraj Parmar]

As you wrote in second paragraph that,' i do not believe'.
So can we directly refere ourself in essay. And can we use 'it is believed that' is that okay

[swaraj]

Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views

Most of we people find the animals captivated inside the cages entertaining and consider it as a source of amusement.However,there is a another section of people who view this as atrocity towards the animals and hence advocate for a ban on such displays of animals.There are two parallel opinions with regards to this and ,is a moot point.55

On a positive side,due to the rapid deforestation and depleting natural vegetations, few wild animals are losing their natural homes and are on the verge of extinction.The zoos provides shelter to such endangered animals and help us avoid losing them foreover.Secondly,the zoos provides an excellent oppurtunity to the children and adults aswell to have a close look at the animals which otherwise would be not possible to naturally.This is very beneficial to the students both from the educations as well as from the entertainment point of view.Most importantly,the animals are taken well care off in the zoos with proper living conditions and food.85
However,contrary to the above, there are ample negative aspects of keeping the animals in the zoos which many think are against the will of the animals.The animals are denied of their freedom by limiting them to the cages and regularly hounded aby the visitors.The animals are depriving of their privacies and comforts.More importantly,there have been numerous cases of animal detahs in zoos resulting due to improper living conditions,food and lack of care by the staff.70
Although there are pros and cons of keeping the animals in zoos,a more acceptable approach would to maintain the animals by providing a proper and suitable living conditions to the animals.This would result in a win win situation for both the animals as well as the curious visitors.45

[swaraj]

Hi Simon,please rate my above essay.I got stucked at 6.5 in my last attempt

[Hesam S]

Hello,

I don't think this essay deserves a 9!

your introduction is not well developed:

1- *beneficial= How beneficial? (refer to critical thinking rule)

2- Your Introduction doesn't have essay map.

[Kha Tran]

Hi Simon,
Thank you so much for your effort to make IELTS easier for me.

In this case, I need your help to clarify one word in this essay that is "obliging" in 3rd paragraph on the fist line; is this exactly the word you would like to use instead of "obligating" as I've thought?

Hope you have a great weekend.

[Simon]

Hesam,

Neither of the two points that you mentioned are important. The introduction can be short and simple - it's the main body paragraphs that really decide what score the essay deserves.

...

Kha Tran,

This is a US vs British English thing. I tend to use "oblige" for both of the meanings that this verb can have. I never use "obligate".

[Kha Tran]

Hi Simon,

I got the point. Thank you very much.

[Gin]

Hi Simon,

I don't know why you write this idea in your third paragraph. (parents, who would not want to be told how to raise their children.)

Is there a linkage between the raise of their children and unpaid work?

[Lina Ahsan]

Simon,
Thank you so much

[Turkan]

Hey, Simon. I am so happy to have come across your blog.I have a concern about the structure of agrre/disagree essays. They say we need to write 3 main body paragraphs if we still strongly agree or disagree with the statement mentioned in the question. But in your structures 2 paragraphs are sufficient. I got really coonfused

[cavid]

Hi simon, is that grammatical to use past progressive "were being" in that sentence :

"Doing this can only lead to resentment amongst young people, who would feel that they were being used"

I can't figure out how to read this properly in that form.

[Simon]

Cavid,

Yes, it's perfectly normal. It's a passive phrase.

Active: Someone was using them.
Passive: They were being used.

[Nikiea Kiemann]

Dear Simon,

I felt so confused when I concentrate on the whole structure.

In second paragraph, I thought there should be 3 opinions plus one explaination to against the "Young people should do unpaid work.", that's what I learned from your previous essays.

However, in this essay, only the first sentence showed your reason(they are under enough pressure with their studies). And the rest of sentences either explain for this argument or used an example to support it. ALSO, there are four sentences, not five sentences.

I can understand that it's still ok if there are four sentences in a paragraph, but is it enough that there's only one reason for you to against this view in the whole paragraph? Will I get a lower score if I do so?

Thanks so much
Looking forward to your answer!

[Bishwas kc]

You haven't mentioned 'free time' and 'social activities' similarly can we leave 'unpaid work' describing the free time and social activities.will it cause any harm..?

[Bishwas kc]

and i have heard that, in 2 body paragraph we have to discuss what we agreed and in one paragraph before conclusion,we have to discuss about the disagreed part.

Is it true

....?

Waiting for your reply.

[jason]

Hi Simon,
Why you put your focus on "force" to decide "agree or disagree"?

Why you didn't stress "all"?

Is it correct that I partly disagree with the opinion that "It is good that teenagers engage in voluntary work in their spare time, however, we should not require "all" teenagers to do that".

I am looking forward to your reply.

[Simon]

Jason,

That way of answering would be fine too.

[zahra]

Hi Simon,

I would like to correct my essays. how can I send you?

Thanks

[zahra]

Hi Simon,

I would like you to correct my essays. how can I send you?

Thanks

[Maximilian]

i want to know writing structures

[Ubaid Memon]

Essay:

"Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to younger children).
To what extent do you agree or disagree?.
<\b>

[Ubaid Memon]

Essay:

"Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to younger children).
To what extent do you agree or disagree?.
Can we consider this essay as same as simon's?

[lanting chen]

hi simon
I dont understand this sentence in the above essay“and this can only be beneficial for both the individual and society as a whole.”
can only： make me feel like it is not beneficial but harmful to individual and society. Can we just delete can only
Or do I make a misunderstanding？

[Simon]

lanting,

"This can only be a good thing."
"This can only be beneficial."

- These are common phrases in English, and they both mean "This is definitely something positive".