IELTS Writing Task 1: line graph essay

Here's my full essay using last week's ideas:

The line graph compares average yearly spending by Americans on mobile and landline phone services from 2001 to 2010.

It is clear that spending on landline phones fell steadily over the 10-year period, while mobile phone expenditure rose quickly. The year 2006 marks the point at which expenditure on mobile services overtook that for residential phone services.

In 2001, US consumers spent an average of nearly $700 on residential phone services, compared to only around $200 on cell phone services. Over the following five years, average yearly spending on landlines dropped by nearly $200. By contrast, expenditure on mobiles rose by approximately $300.

In the year 2006, the average American paid out the same amount of money on both types of phone service, spending just over $500 on each. By 2010, expenditure on mobile phones had reached around $750, while the figure for spending on residential services had fallen to just over half this amount.

(162 words, band 9)

Comments

[verry]

hi simon,
i have a question for the first sentence in the second paragraph. Why there is no "s" in the word year of " 10-year period"?

thank you

[Aleksandra Bucholc]

Dear Verry,
It must be written like that, without the plural's' as it is an example of hyphenated,(with-)compounds. Other examples:14-15 year-old children:, non-profit organisation, like-minded people,locally-grown fruits.
The function of these phrases is to describe a noun(here a period)like adjectives do.
So, a 10-year period is the period of 10 years observed in this graph.
I hope that it helps.

[thangngovan]

Hi Simon and everyone
Is it true when saying that only line graph or bar chart with consecutive years illustrate the change in a period? The pie chart, for example, with 3 pie charts of 3 years 1981, 1991, 2001 showing the proportion of spending on different consumer goods, in this type, we can't use the verb such as increase, decrease to experience the change, just compare the values of the parts?

[Martin]

Hi Simon,

Thank you for sharing your full essay and I think this is a good example for students not to restrain themselves from practising questions in Cambridge books only. "Task1 materials" can be found all over the Internet, and that's why it's important to read all sorts of articles on a regular basis and learn how writers/reporters describe trends and figures.

Cheers,
Martin

[Fira]

Hello, Verry
a 10-year period is a compound adjective made up of a number and a noun. They are the most convenient way to describe something which involves a number.
when you form adjectives in this way:
1. you do not include an -s on the word being counted. e.g.a three-storey building
2. It is usual to add a hyphen. e.g. a two-tier education system

E.g. It takes four days to travel by car.
It is a four-day journey by car.

P.S. I am deeply grateful to you, Mr.Simon, dear teacher.

[suman chandra das]

Hi Simon and all :-) Could you please post a model answer from the question cambridge ielts book 2 writing task 2.
I wanted to answer this question as both parents are responsible for bringing up their children.
Thank you all:-)
Suman

[Nina na na]

Hi Simon,

Thank you for posting your essay. You make me feel writing is not too difficult.
However, I don't' understand some sentences.

"The year 2006 marks the point at which expenditure on mobile services overtook that for residential phone services."
I don't understand the structure of this sentence. What are "which" and "overtook that for"?

"In the year 2006, the average American paid out the same amount of money on both types of phone service, spending just over $500 on each."
Can I leave out "on each"?

"By 2010, expenditure on mobile phones had reached around $750, while the figure for spending on residential services had fallen to just over half this amount."

Last question, I realize that you usually use " the figure" in Writing task I. But I wonder if I write that sentence like this
…., while the figure for residential services had fallen to…..
Is it correct?

Thank you in advance.

[Fira]

Hello, Suman
Here you are!!! Your requested essay:
Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
To a small extent I agree that the idea of the women’s role should be prevailed much more in making vital decisions for the family. However, I also believe that the couples’ thoughts should be integrated before making an effort for some plans and they must have a balanced role in every attempt they make.
Some people argue that women have a tremendously larger impact on the household rather than men and each solitary woman manages to live through every disaster she experiences. Before taking any other factors into account, it is important first to note that the reason for this greater role is that the majority of men nowadays prefer to be indifferent to innumerable tasks that women involve themselves in to solve them. Mothers also are considered as a valuable human being for each offspring, no matter in which age they are, to be directed into a right way with an unconditional love and care.
Nevertheless, some changes appeared in the rules concerned with a family planning due to the new world tendencies. Parents controlling the increasing demands of the children are obliged to feel similar duties about the family care rather than being separable. Since every child in the family has a right to be respected and cared by parents equally it worsens the situation for the women who are responsible for the children’s health, education, and behavior, at the same time fathers’ help is required to produce a good citizen for the country and society.
In conclusion, families should control the number of infants in the family according to their living conditions and in my opinion, they both should bear in mind the fact that they are obliged to take care of the children and provide them with at least basic living necessities.

Hope it works.

[suman chandra das]

Hi Fira,
Thank you so so much for posting the answer.
It is a very good answer I think.
For I found few new works here. I will find them dictinary.
Thank you so much again.
Good night:-)

[candy]

Hello Simon...
Please give me a difference between "rise to", "rise by" and "rise of"...

[Gavin]

Hello Simon and all,

Could you please tell me what is the difference between 'compare to' and 'compare with'? Can I use 'compare with' instead in this sentence? 'compared to only around $200 on cell phone services'

[hdt]

Hi Gavin,

You can use either of them

[Mahalo]

Hi Simon, you always make me realized at such a great valuable points on your essay whenever I look through them. I will keep working on IELTS with Simon and other dedicate students here!
Thank you so much!

[irum]

hi simon can u plz answer the situation which makes u laugh? speaking part2 question

[brad]

The year 2006 marks the point at which expenditure on mobile services overtook that for residential phone services.

hi simon and those who know,
since 2006 was the past, why do you use' marks' instead of 'marked?

[Andy]

Hi all

Following is my corrected essay which involving lots of Simon's sentences.

The line chart compares the average yearly spending of American on mobile and landline phone services from 2001 to 2010.

It is clear that the figure for landline phone service had decreased over the 10-year period, while the spending on cell phone service had increasingly gone up. Moreover, these two lines crossed in the year 2006 and spending on mobile phone service overtook that for mobile phone services.

In 2001, the figure for average annual spending on landline phone service was $700, which accounted for the majority of spending on phone, while it gradually went down to around $550 over the following 5 years. By contrast, the average annual mobile expenditure increased by $350 from $200 between 2001 and 2006.

In the year 2006, the US consumers paid out the same average between cell phone and landline phone services, spending 550 on each. By 2010, the figure for cell phone had raised and reached around $750, compared to spending on residential service had kept decreasing and ended up at $400.

I've learned some skills from this essay, such as compare "two things at every point" ,use "synonym" and "rebuild the sentence". Although all of these seems easy, it is often been omitted.
I write two period to compare two things together, for example Simon compares every point like "the figure for landline and mobile in 2001". However I originally compare "all the things in the period from 2001 to 2006" in a sentence. I think it is better to compare like Simon does.

[Linh]

Hi Simon,

Please help me to clarify this, regarding the Writing task 1. Will my band be lower if I use simple sentence structures? Do the examiners put a significant concern on the complexity of my sentences when marking? The teacher in my IELTS class gave me a full model essay with rather more complicated sentences than you of often have here. I find it not only hard to memorize but also always increase my essay's word count to 240 words and more. Would you suggest I follow this approach for Writing task 1?

[zs]

I tried to answer but wondering if there is any error or sentences that could be brighten up.

The chart compares the average yearly spending on mobile phone and landing phone services between 2001 and 2010.

From the first glance, it is noticeable that consumers' expenditure on cell phone grew steadily over the 10-year period while spending on residential phone services saw an opposite trend.

In 2001, the average spending on cell phone services was only $200. By contrast, this figure for residential phone services was 3.5 times higher.Between year 2001 to 2006, residential phone services was expected to lost its consumer, and the expenditure on cell phone services overtook that for residential phone services in 2006 at average annual expenditure of $520.

Cell phone services continue to earn its consumer and reached its peak at $740 averagely in 2010 whereas the figure for residential phone services fell significantly to $400 in the same year.

Finally, it can be seen that consumer pay on cell phone services is almost twice of residential phone services in 2010.

[Sriharsha]

Hi Simon,

Could you please evaluate my essay for Writing Task 1 and give the band score for the same.

The line graph is a source from U.S Bureau of Labour Satistics which compares the annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services in a decade from 2001 to 2010.

There is a rapid fall in the expenditures on Residential phone services right from 2001 to 2010. On the other hand, expenditures on Cell phone service reached its acme in the same period.

Cellphone Services in the year 2001 had a very low earnings of $200 per annum.In contrast, the earning from Residential phone services was at $700 per annum,which is its highest range. Later in 2006,expenditure on the cell phone services reached around $520 per annum, which is also equal to expenditures towards residential phone services.

This trending continued from 2006 to 2010 and it can be found that expenditure on cell phone services dominated over residential phone services being at $750 per annum.

Finally, it can be inferred from the line graph that the expenditures on cellphone services are quadrapled by the year 2010. On the other edge, the expenditures on residential phone services are reduced to half.

[thounsand year 6.5 kiki]

Hi Simon,

can I say:

The line graph compares two types of phone services in terms of average annual spending by the US residents on them from 2001 to 2010.

[Anna pham]

Hi Simon,
I'm worrying about the sentence:

the year 2006 marks the point at which ...

I understand that "mark" is NOT a real thing that happened in 2006, the thing, that was really happened in 2006 is "overtook"

is it right?
Thank you so much!

[Dao]

Is it ok if i write the introduction like this
The line graph below illustrates how americans spent on mobile and landline phone services over a period of 10 years.

[Trantuan Hinh]

HI SIMON: I'm trying to write my own introduction and overview sentences for the chart above, and hopefully you could give me any comment or remark about my wrting, thank you so much Simon!
The line graph compares the average amount of money yearly spent on mobile and landline phones services over a period of ten years in the US
It can be seen from the chart that from 2001 to 2010, while the average annual expenditure for residential phone services fell steadily, spending on cell phone services rose dramatically.In 2006,

[Abror]

The graph is given information about how much money was spent on cell phone and residential phone services for annual a year between 2001 and 2010. Overall the figure of cell phone service only was the upward trend and by contrast, the index of residential phone services was a downward trend over the period.

Looking at details, the amount of money was around 200 dollars at the beginning of the period and then, this index was increased dramatically in one year. Subsequently, the figure was rose significantly again, this figure reached from 300$ to about 750$.

However, annual expenditure on residential phone services was under 700$. After that, the figure was decreased dramatically and this index was equaled around 400$ at the end of the period. In addition, in around 2006, the expenditure of residential phone services crossed with cell phone services and then, the amount of both services was accounted for 550$.