IELTS Writing Task 2: 'marriages' topic

Here's the question that we started to look at last week:

Marriages are bigger and more expensive nowadays than in the past. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

After writing the introduction, we need to write a paragraph about the first question (why is this the case?). Here's something I wrote with my students:

Marriages have become bigger and more expensive for three main reasons. Firstly, people in developed countries are wealthier than their ancestors were in the past. They therefore have more money to spend on weddings, which are seen as one of life’s most important and unforgettable occasions. Secondly, in today’s globalized world, people see photos of celebrity weddings and want to copy them. For example, when Prince William got married here in England, the ceremony was shown on television and many people were influenced by what they saw. Finally, the wedding industry has grown, and many companies have an interest in selling products and services to us, using persuasive marketing techniques.

Task:
Analyse the paragraph: Does it answer the question, how is it structured, and what "less common" vocabulary is used?

Comments

[NAZLI]

hi SIMON.
In my opinion structure is logical.

(LESS COMMON)

FIRSTLY,SECONDLY,FINALLY,THE WEDDING INDUSTRY,PHOTOS OF CELEBRITY WEDDING(ESPECIALLY ROYAL WEDDING AND WANT TO COPY )

[lucy]

6 sentences
1) topic sentence(three reasons)
2)first reason (people are wealthier)
3)explain
4)second reason (influnced by celebrity's wedding)
5)example (Prince William)
6)third reason ( wedding industry's development)
Less common words
Ancestor, unforgettable occasion, persuasive

[Arzu]

Hello dear Simon!
PLEASE explain to (or for) me How we can use

TO and FOR

Thanks in advance

[Arzu]

For me interesting and "less common" phrases-))

1. people in developed countries
2. They therefore have
3. which are seen as one of life’s most important
4. Secondly, in today’s globalized world
5. people were influenced by what they saw
6. companies have an interest in selling products
7. using persuasive marketing techniques.

[shaun]

I think, this paragraph includes 3 main reason and it's well-organized.
- The fist one comes with its influence
- Then, the second one with an example
- Finally, the third one.
The less common words are: ancestor, celebrity, unforgettable occasion, persuasive

[Suman]

Dear Simon:)
First of all I want to Thank you for the continuous tasks you are
giving to us. It's being helpful for us.

In my point of view, this paragraph answers the question.
This paragraph is structured by following ways:
1. Topic sentence
2. Firstly,
3. Explain
4. Secondly,
5.example
6.Finally

"Less common"

1.more extravagant
2.marraige has become bigger
3.wealthier than their ancestors
4.most unforgettable occasions
5.in today's globalized world
6.photos of celebrity weddings
7.many people were influenced
8.wedding industry has grown
9.using persuasive marketing techniques

Thank you so much Simon.
Have a great day:)
Regard's
Suman

[megalo]

hi simon, how to become one of your student online..please simon, y have an awesome website and e book...

[Ieltstaker]

The main reason marriages have gone bigger is because of advance in technologhy.By which I mean, with the use of recent technology we can invite many more people than we did in the past.It is even possible to invite someone living outside out national boundaries by E-card invitation.what more,many people are attending weddings becuase of advance in transport system.Nowdays,it has become fashion to spend more money,and they get attention from other people by spending more money.People want society to remember their wedding for a long time so they spend more and invite more people.

[thangngovan]

Hi Simon. Your paragraph' structure is 3 reasons causing this case. 6 sentences were divided into following stages:
1 sentence: Topic sentence
-2 sentences: one gives first reason and explanation for it.
- 2 sentences: second cause and an example
- 1 sentence: Third reason with combined sentence, first clause is reason, second clause is motive. This structure will make the reason clear, not only be stated.
Less common language:
- wealthier(richer)
- ancestors (previous generations)
- globalized wold
- celebrity (famous)
- interest (attention)
- persuasive marketing techniques( effective marketing methods)

[frustrated.com]

less common words or phrases are;

-wealthier than their ancestors were
-have more money to spend on
-one of life’s most important
-unforgettable occasions
-influenced by what they saw
-wedding industry has grown
-services to us
-using persuasive marketing techniques

[raju]

hello
Sir
some people have a opinion about the ielts that when academic and general ,both on same day , the test considers easy especially listening than alone academic

plz reply sir

[Sarah]

1. Yes, it does.

2. The structure of this parapraph is easy to understand and well organised.

3. less common vocabulary
* their ancestors were in the past
* be seen as one of the unforgettable accasions
* in today's globalized world
* be influenced by what they saw
* using persuasive marketing techniques

[Shinichi]

(less common)
wealthier than
spend on weddings
unforgettable occasions
celebrity weddings
got married
been shown on television
the wedding industry
persuasive marketing techniques

(structure)
Firstly, Secondly, For example, Finally

[anu]

recent ielts question 13-4-13

As countries develop, their populations start to live individually or in very small family units.

In your opinion, why is this the case and what are the effects on society?

[mike]

Hi! simon
could you help me? I get a problem.I write a sentence, but I do not know what preposition should I plus in front of 'under aged 26' and 'over aged 49', or no preposition plus before them

the sentence:
However, the figure for students who study for interest is only 10% under aged 26, and this increases dramatically to 70% over aged 49.
Thank you very much.

[mike]

hi, still me, mike! I just don't figure out what kind of prepositions should I use in different situations, such as, with, by, of, for.

[lexi]

bigger and more expensive
wealthier than their ancestors were in the past
one of life's most important occasions
one of life's most unforgettable occasions
photos of celebrity weddings
many people were influenced
the wedding industry has grown
an interest in selling products
using persuasive marketing techniques

[zs]

structure:
3 idea with explanation
-wealthier than ancestors
-->more money to spend on weddings(why?)
-photos of celibrity weddings
-->example? (prince william)(how?)
-wedding industry
-->products and services

less common vocabulary:
ancestors
occasions
influenced
persuasive marketing techniques

[Nan]

dear Simon,

thank you for efforts .. I found this site very useful that no need to go anywhere else.

I have two question about your essay written here :http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2011/04/ielts-writing-task-2-sample-discussion-essay.html

1- "When they finish school, teenagers face the dilemma of whether to get a job or (TO) continue their education."
I noticed that you omitted the "TO" mentioned above. Is both cases acceptable ?

2- "THEY will be able to afford their own HOUSE or start A FAMILY "
I got confused here. could you explain to me the rule here ?

thank you in advance

[Simon]

FROM SIMON:

There is some good analysis in the comments above!

Probably the main thing to notice is that "less common vocabulary" refers more to phrases (groups of words) than to individual words. Have a look at the comments by students who have listed whole phrases for the "less common vocabulary" (e.g. comments by Suman, frustrated, Sarah, Lexi).

[Sahan]

Hi Simon,

I just started reading these posts from you.
Thank you so much for what you doing.
I know students spend a fortune to get these advises. Seriously,you are doing such a great service that i thought must be appreciated !

Regards,
Sahan

[Scharla]

It seems to me that all the essays I read for Part II are awfully short given the allocated time frame. I appreciate that writing a longer essay does not necessarily correlate with a higher mark and would in fact potentially increase the probability of you making a mistake. However, I have recently come across a website which specifically discouraged writing more than 280 words and that left me somewhat confused. Is this true? Are longer essays frowned upon? Sorry if this is a daft question.

[kenny]

could anyone help me about the grammar of following sentence?
"people in developed countries are wealthier than their ancestors were in the past"

Can I write
"people in developed countries are wealthier than their ancestors in the past"
Why there is a "were" in the sentence??
Thank you.

[Abdulrahman]

I just wonder how would be the structure of 2nd body paragraph (The second question answer )
and also the conclusion..

[Chris Sol]

Dear Simon & all friends!

What contents should we write for the third paragraph? Do we explain why bigger and more expensive weddings are a negative trend?

Thank you so much.

Chris Sol.

[irene]

hi! i also would like to get some ideas for paragraph 3 and conclusion
anyone finish the essay? or any ideas ? thanks

[Anu krishnkumar]

hi everyone,
i have got my ielts exam on june 6th and 7th of 2013 in manchester........could n e one send me what is the possible topics asked on writing task2 and 1 in academic module
pls reply me

anu.

[KUSH]

I had my IELTS exam today.. and they asked to write an essay on giving opinion and discuss two views.. The topic was that MANY PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT THEY GO TO ABROAD IF THEY WANT TO LEARN ABOUT THE COUNTRY, WHILE OTHER THINKS THAT TRAVELLING IS NOT IMPORTANT AS THEY HAVE FACILITY OF TV AND INTERNET. THEY CAN LEARN THROUGH IT.

[KUSH]

IN PART 1 THEY GAVE US TO DESCRIBE THE PROCESS ON RECYCLED CANS.

[Ranbir]

HI SIMON .
This paragraph has described in the form of firstly ,secondly and finally .
THE intersting things that i have found are .
1.people in developing country .

2.they therefor have .
3.seen as one of .
4.influenced by what they saw .
5.persuasive marketing techniques.

[amanpreetseth]

hey simon i want u to plz gve the 2nd answr of topic on marriages whether it is negative or positive development

[srini]

Hello every one ,
Here is my complete version of the esssay.
The introduction and the first para has already been provided by simon. i have completed the remaining part of it. Pleas feel free to comment.

It is true that marriages have become more costly and extravagant in the recent times. There are various reasons for it and in my opinion, it’s a negative development.

Marriages have become bigger and expensive for various reasons. Firstly, people in developed countries are wealthier than their ancestors. They have enough money to spend on their weddings which is considered as one of life’s important and unforgettable occasions. Secondly, in today’s globalized world, people are inspired by celebrities’ weddings and would like to copy them. For example, when Prince William got married, it was telecasted on Television. Most of the people are so influenced by it and they want to their marriages in a similar way. Finally, the wedding industry has grown immensely these days and many companies want to sell their products using the persuasive marketing skills.

On the other hand, there are various reasons why spending lavishly on wedding is considered as a negative development. Firstly, it is making a financial burden on bride parents as they are bound to spend a huge amount of money on their daughter weddings due to the pressure from society. Secondly, Spending too much on wedding is making to lose the importance of the original occasion as people are concentrating more on unnecessary things rather than making it a special day for the people who are getting married. For example, it has become quite common now a day’s to invite film stars and other famous celebrities to the weddings by paying a huge amount as their fees. People who come to wedding are more interested to watch these stars rather than congratulating and spending some quality time with wedding couple. Finally, the unnecessary money spent on weddings can be utilized for good purpose like charity or could be saved for their future expenses.

In conclusion, agreed that marriage is an important occasion and it should be celebrated in a memorable way but money spent on unnecessary things should be avoided as it could be used for other good purposes and it has various negative effects.

[Narayan , Australia]

hello Srini,
as I read your essay, it looks pretty good enough from my point of view.
you have put good sentences structure to make a nice essay.

[Ena]

It is true that couples are increasingly spending greater money on their weddings than ever before nowadays. There are various reasons for this trend, and I personally consider it to be a negative trend.

People have adapted to various changes in societies, and this has resulted in materialism in weddings.The main reason for this trend is that young people tend to dismiss traditional values as outdated. While I agree that some traditional
ideas are not applicable to the modern world, others like the real meaning of marriage is still helpful and should not be forgotten. Young couples, for example, should need to keep in mind that a happy marriage life requires sacrifice for families, thoughtfulness, greater responsiblities, and commitement rather than luxiourious wedding rings, venues, or dresses. I believe that young couples would lead happier life together if they placed a greater importance on 'marriages' rather than events.

In my view, rising costs of weddings should be seen as a negative trend. Firstly, the younger generations are becoming more independent. Although they are starting their own family as adults, they still rely on thier parents for help when paying a deposit and a mortgage. Secondly, parents can be put under pressure to sacrifice, spend too much money on their children's weddigns, and therefore cannot enjoy their lives after retirement comfortably due to financial problems. Finally, weddings can be seen as a reflection of wealth. The gap between the rich and poor would be clearly seen through weddings,and this can frustrate young couples who wish to have small weddings.

In conclusion, the increasing costs of weddings are a result of forgetting about the true meaning of marriage these days, and I believe that these changes should not be desirable.

[Scavo]

Hi Simon,

By this sentence "many companies have an interest in selling products and services to us", what do you mean?

"many companies are interested in selling us products"
or
"many companies are making profits by selling us products"

I'm really confused here. I think both meanings make sense here.

Thank you a lot. Best wishes!

[Scavo]

Hi Simon,

I have the same question as kenny.

"people in developed countries are wealthier than their ancestors were in the past"

In this sentence, can I omit 'were'? I have found nothing related to the grammar here on google.

When should I add the verb 'do' or 'be' in this kind of sentence?

Thank you so much! All the best!

[Scavo]

Edited:

I already understood this question.

Thanks ：）