IELTS General Writing: 'new business' letter

I haven't done a lesson about the General Writing test for a while, so here's an interesting question that a student sent me. I'll share my answer next week.

Remember that the examiner is looking for the following things:

• The tone must be appropriate (formal or informal)
• The purpose of the letter must be clear
• You must cover all of the points
• The letter must be well-organised
• You need to use some good (and relevant) vocabulary

Comments

[Ajay Sharma]

Dear Simon,
Thanks for your valuable advice after a while for General students.

Regards

Ajay Sharma

[EX]

Dear Sofia
Thanks ever so much for your letter. It´s been a while !

I am truly flattered by your offer to set up a business together but unfortunately I am going to have to decline the offer for a number of reasons:
-
Firstly, I have a good, stable job at the moment and really can´t afford to give it up just now
Secondly, I don´t really think I am the most appropriate person as my knowledge of the catering industry is limited and,
thirdly, I don´t have the $75,000 minimum that you predict each partner will have to put up/invest.

As regards the business proposal itself, ‘A chain of upmarket cafes specialising in 'Belgian Chocolate pastries and desserts’, isn´t it a little bit risky in this economic climate ?
Isn´t it also a little ambitious to start off with 3 International cafes?
Wouldn’t it be better to open up one, locally, and see how it goes?

Anyway, you´re the one with a Business Degree, so I am sure you have thought this through and if you go ahead I wish you all the best. Once again thanks for thinking of me

All the best
Roger

p.s. Let´s meet for a drink some time so we can catch up

[oluremi]

Dear Simon,

I saw your details via the internet.

I will like you to kindly give me tips on how to prepare for ielts quickly within 2 weeks, because I m quite busy and a mother but need it for my licensing exam as a Pharmacist.

kindly reply and help.

Kind regards,

Oluremi

[Jessie]

Dear Simmon,

I am very glad to heare that you will run a new business. Congratulations!

I know it is your dream and you plan it for several years. I totally trust you and I know you will make a great success due to your backgroud, your working hard and your business sense.

Regarding your invitation form me to join your new business, I should say thank you.But I have to say sorry to you. In my current situation, I do not think it is good for us that I join your new business.

In one hand, your new business is focus on agricultur. You will buy a big farm and run it by yourself. It is because you are working on the farm more than 20 years and you are an expert. But for me, I majored in computer software and working as software developer more than 15 years. I knew nothing relative with farm.Then I can not help you when you start the new farm or maybe I will bring some troubule to you. So I think I'd better support you as a friend, not a partner.
On the other hand, as you know, I just get this very good offer and working for my new position no longer than one month since I worked for my first job afther 15 years. I am interested in new technology and now I have a team. We will research and develope a new application for banks to help them to reduce the totall coust of it project implementation. I am only interested in IT technology, like you are only interested in farm. So it is better for me to stay in my current position.

Thanks you again and may everthing with you going well!
Anyhelp need, just let me know.

Best Regards,
Jessica

[Shikha]

Dear Shanaya,

Hope you are doing well.

I am very pleased to know that you are planning to open up a restaurant shortly. It sounds extremely profitable venture to me. Your plan is to serve Punjabi delicacies in Kormangala, Bangalore; it will definitely fetch majority of the crowd since most of the Punjabi people are staying in that area only. I am very excited to inform you that I have decided to accept the offer and to be your business partner.

My routine job has become very boring and monotonous. So, I was also looking for some change in my professional routine. Fixing bugs and sending the report to the client has become more of tedious and irksome. Working for 8 hours at a stretch doesn't fetch me immense monetary gains. After receiving your offer, I found it right time to switch my career option. Moreover I have age and money by my side.

Please inform me the accurate amount that needs to be invested and if anyone else is also interested in this joint venture. However I have Bangalore trip next month on my cards. So, we can meet up and finish off the legal formalities there and then.

Waiting for your prompt response.

Best Wishes,
Shikha

[Sayeed Garewal]

Dear Ali,

Hope this letter shall find you in hale & hearty. Thanks for your letter I received two days back in which you inquired regarding my partnership in setting up a software house.
Based on the facts and feasibility you shared, the idea seems workable. Most of international companies prefer to develop softwares/solutions from offshore companies. As wage rates are lower in our country, both the customer and our company can get benefit. Also our country can enjoy foreign remittances. However we need to further drill down the idea and its pros & cons into detail.
I have decided to join as partner in your proposed business. We can schedule a meeting in this connection to draft the further action.
Let me tell you what things tend me to make this decision. First I do not have handy job with me and in a fix to start a new venture. Secondly offshore software development business is expanding and we can get an appropriate share of the international market by hard working.
I am enthusiastic to hear from you soon.
Warm wishes

Sayeed
------Msayeediq skype

[Sayeed Garewal]

Dear Ali,

Hope this letter shall find you in hale & hearty. I received your letter two days back in which you inquired regarding my partnership in setting up a software house.
Based on the facts and feasibility you shared, the idea seems workable. Most of international companies prefer to develop softwares/solutions from offshore companies. As wage rates are lower in our country, both the customer and our company can get benefit. Also our country can enjoy foreign remittances. However we need to further drill down the idea and its pros & cons into detail.
I have decided to join as partner in your proposed business. We can schedule a meeting in this connection to draft the further action.
Let me tell you what things tend me to make this decision. First I do not have handy job with me and in a fix to start a new venture. Secondly offshore software development business is expanding and we can get an appropriate share of the international market by hard working.
I am enthusiastic to hear from you soon.
Warm wishes

Sayeed
-----Msayeediq skype

[Clifford]

Dear XYZ,

I am glad to hear from you after a long time and surprised that you are interested in making me as a partner in your new business.

The Business idea you have is a good one and a lucrative business in the near future, as online library is the one which are found very rarely. In fact, this is an innovative idea where enormous people who are willing to read variety of books, but were finding hard to reach library can order books online.

I am certainly interested in joining hands with you and be a part of this wonderful business venture. I can spend ample time from next month onwards as I am free for most of the time.

As I know you from so many years and your successful business ventures in the past, I am pretty sure that you have meticulously planned about this business too and the other reason is I always wanted to be a part of your business, although it was my hidden desire.

I am glad you consider me good enough to be your partner and let’s hope to make this business a successful one.

Regards,
ABX

[Tintin]

Dear John,
How are you? Hope this letter finds you in good health and spirit. I am writing in regard to the recent offer you made me to join your new business entity. First of all i would like to thankyou from bottom of my heart for the recent offer that you have made.
I have reviewed your business proposal to setup a new power plant from the household waste and it is quite impressive. However, i think it needs some modification in the following areas, In the proposed plan, there was no entries related to the health and safety measures that we need to follow and at the same time the Finance section, you need to update the operational costs levy as per the new rule passed by the ruling government yesterday. In addition to this, we should make some additional ground work in bringing up systematic investment plan for third party personnel.
I am pretty much impressed with your project plan and cannot wait long to collaborate with you. Joining a start up company as a business partner is a quite challenging task, where i feel lucky to be part of it. At this same time my childhood dream to be an entrepreneur will be getting true once we start our company.
Thank you for your time and consideration. Looking forward to hear from you at the earliest.
Yours sincerely,
Smith

[Darwin]

Dear James

How are you and your family? I hope that everyone is in good conditions. With this letter, I would like to thanks for the great opportunity that you have given to me. I believe that the Balinese seafood restaurant plan has a potential future in Bali.

I have read the email that you sent, and I have also reviewed the proposal plan that you attached in the mail. I have discussed it with my wife for almost one week and we also calculated our financial condition to see whether It was sufficient and decided to join the business for a 50% share.

I think, the business model that you created was very reasonable and accurate, and it has a great risk assessment report. But the most interesting aspect was the location itself, as Bali has been one of the most attractive site for visitor from Europe and America. Therefore, I strongly believe that the restaurant will be successful there.

Thanks for your kind offer and I am looking forward for the next step.

Regards
Darwin

[chefT]

Dear Alba

Hello, I've recived your letter. How's everything going? I know you have plan to open a good restaurant. We used to talk about that when we worked together at ARIA restaurant. It is your dream in your life. It comes true finally.

I'm very glad to hear that you want to work with me and I say "Yes, of course." I really want it. It is my honor. I have plan it as you. I think if you and I work together, it will be really beneficial for us to open the restaurant.

First of all, I have experience to work many great restaurantas in the world and learn diverse foods. Also I can cousult our menu I can plan workflow in kitchen as well.

However I hope we will meet soon and talk about our business more detail. Let's keep in touch when you recieve the letter.

Best wishes,

Torres

[Clifford]

Hi Simon,

I have this doubt from many days, how shall we calculate the total number of words for letter 150 and Essay 250.....

Please let me know

[Tintin]

@Clifford,
Hope i might answer your question.
Keep a habit of writing either 7 or 8 words per line and multiply with number of lines that you have written.
Total Number of Words for Letter or Essay = Number of words in a line x (multiplied) Total number of lines that you have written

Hope this might help!!!

[Clifford]

Thanks for you answer Tintin...

but my doubt is whether we need to count all the words in the letter or Essay

for example: is, or, what, that, of etc

[Simon]

Hi Clifford,

Yes! Even "a" is counted as a word.

[Clifford]

Hi Simon,

Thanks a lot for clarifying my doubt Simon.

[CucNgo]

Dear Kofi,

I believe absolutely that you are hale and healthy. I am really flattered and expert to put up your proposal business. I have waited that for a long time.

I am visiting my relationship in Ho Chi Minh City in order to get out of mess up in company now. We are going to have a meeting at 9 am on Friday next week in your restaurant after I come back home. If you have any chances, please let me know as soon as. On other hand, I need to have more information about your business due to my meticulous woman. I also assume from detail report to decide investing. After all, we will have got fetching a contract on that meeting.

Indeed, I feel stressful with my tedious job, so I am irksome and look forward to new opportunities. As you pass challenging in the past, I think highly about you that your proposal will make me have a lucrative gain. Specially, I expected that I could have collocated with you since you established your restaurant at the first time.

I look forward to receiving your response.

Sincerely,

Cuc Ngo

[Polina]

Dear Richard,

Thanks for your offer to join forces in your new endeavour. I was pleasantly surprised that you got in touch with me first, before offering partnership to others.

Having read your business plan, I found no weak spots at all. Your idea to set up the production of car-washing robots seems fabulous to me. If I was a car wash owner, I would die for such a robot to make economy on wages.

So, I am in. I suppose, you could cover the production and procurement, while I can deal with recruitment and finances. You can also count on my investment by the end of the next month. We'll just need to be careful not to spill the beans before the production is set up, not to attract competition.

Actually, the main reason I feel so enthusiastic is that I have a gut feeling it will work. Besides, you are really great in robotics, therefore, I do trust your judgement. Another reason to support you is that I'd love to create something fantastic that would prove useful for many people.

What if we meet at weekend to discuss the details? Hope you can make it.

Best wishes,

Polina

[Soha]

Hi Shikha,

Your essay is quite well organized and developed with a high related vocabulary.I need someone to practice writing and reading general .My recent scores was 8 Speaking, 7.5 in Reading and Listening and my Writing was 6.5 .So i need someone with high writing skills to exchange writing essays with them. If you are interested send me e-mail.
[email protected]

Regards,
Soha

[Soha]

Hi Polina,
I liked your essay very much.
It is organized, consice and coverd all the bullet points.
.I need someone to practice writing and reading general .My recent scores was 8 Speaking, 7.5 in Reading and Listening and my Writing was 6.5 .So i need someone with high writing skills to exchange writing essays with them. If you are interested send me e-mail.
[email protected]

Regards,
Soha

[Vivian]

Dear John.

I hope this found you doing well. I was inspired by the business idea about online dog clothes shop you told me last week. Thanks for inviting me as your business partner.

I would like to take this chance to work with you and have a great business together. You know me well with our ten-year friendship. I am sure you know I have been thinking about establishing my own business for the past few years. with my knowledge about website design and the online payment programming experience with my current company, I can efficiently setup our online shop quickly.

I have been thinking about the business model this week and come up with a few opinions. Firstly, not only dog clothes, the online shop could also sell cat clothes and other pet related products, like accessories and food. It could bring a variety of pet owners to visit the online shop and boost popularity quicker. Secondly, I also suggest we make use of PayPal to receive payment, so that we could also serve overseas customers with ease. As you may know, fund transferring with direct deposit is convenient for residents in Australia only. Overseas customers usually do not have an Australia bank account and we could not ask them to pay by bank deposit. If our company could open up a paypal account and accept payment all over the world, it will mean more business and income potential.

Let me know what do you think about it. Looking forward to start it as soon as possible.

Yours,
Mary

[Shey]

Dear Simon,

How are you? It's been quite sometime since since I last saw you.

By the way, I am writing in response to your email two weeks ago. I must say that the business proposal for a computer shop was very interesting. In particular, I like the idea of having a snack bar and the membership scheme to avail discounted price and freebies.

My husband and I exerted great thought on your offer for partnership. However, after reviewing our financial status, it seems that we are not yet ready to engage in a new investment. As you may know, we recently bought a house and lot in City Center. We spent much money for the down payment, government fees and renovation. Given this situation, I am sincerely sorry that I cannot accept the partnership.

If it is fine with you, I would like to recommend my office mate. She is eager to start her own business but somehow, she lacks experience and was not able to start anything. I am pretty sure that she will be grateful to partner in your business. Please let me know if you are interested.

Thank you very much and I wish you well on your endeavors!

Yours truly,

Shey

*** Hi guys, please comment on my essay. I am preparing for IELTS exam. Thanks

[Sidney Hua]

Dear Allan,

First of all, I’m honored to receive your invitation letter to become your official business partner with your Chinese Restaurant.

Opening a Chinese dinning restaurant in the Darling Hurst suburb would be a great deal as there is no other Chinese restaurant in the suburb. On the contrary, it could be quite risky, as you would have to convince Westerners to eat Chinese cuisine.

After a careful consideration, I have to turn down your proposal because right now I’m content and enjoy my responsibilities in my engineering company.

To be honest, I’m not confortable in investing time and money into an unfamiliar industry as I will not be able to make the right decisions for the business. In addition to this, I strongly felt it is best to have stability in my career after my first child was born and thus not ready to take some risks in my life yet at the moment.

Having said that, I would like to wish you best of luck your business and looking forward to swing by your place one night.

Sidney Hua.

Your best mate.

[Ali]

Dear John,
I am writing this letter in response to your offer of joining you in your business initiative. In my opinion it is an excellent idea to sell sports stuff online and making it in the reach of people living in remote areas as well who find it difficult to buy these things in towns. Besides that it would be a great help even to the people living in the cities to purchase their favorite sports items online as it is easy for them to get the things delivered to their homes without paying the shipping cost.
Besides all the benefits I am sorry to inform you that I would not able to join you in this business. As you already know that I have recently started a software company in Victoria area and being a start-up I have to give lots time to office and clients. So I wouldn’t be able to spare enough time to work with you on your proposal which in my opinion would also need lots of time in beginning.
I wish you all the best with your idea and I hope you will find a trustworthy person to work with you soon.

Yours sincerely,
Michael

[umair subhani]

Dear dash.
hope you find this letter with good health and its hounor for me to this proposal.
Online grossory store have boom now a days and huge traffic u could find on website.As u have a knowledge that this is the busy era and people are walkingthrough more convenience and relaxation so online shopping is on cusp.
As far as my business concern i would not allow you to join my business because i am working with two more partners.As u you already know that i have to give eight to ten hours for my business so i cant bring out some time to join you .
I wish you all the best and i hope you persue my idea and soon you will fing a trustworthy team.
your sincerely

[MaGay]

Hi Win,

How are you? I hope you are doing fine. I received your proposal to be your business partner.

Your idea to put up a Bar and Restaurant is a bit promising and it seems a good investment. I know your eagerness and excitement of this business. However putting up a business like this needs a big capital. I believe you need to attend some seminars for small entrepreneurship. They will give you tips and idea what to do and what to expect. You may need to consider the location; it should be strategic and accessible. You need to envision what kind of Bar and Restaurant you want to setup. You may also need to consider the customers and most especially the food you are going to cater.

I want to thank you for considering me as your business partner and I really appreciate it. However I cannot commit at this time. My budget is tight and I am planning to go overseas to work and I need money to process my papers and to pay the fees.

I hope you understand and I wish you good luck and may you find a business partner who is ready and prepared for this kind of business.

More power and talk to you soon.

Thanks,

Magay