IELTS Writing Task 2: correct the mistakes

Students shared some good essays about the animal experiments topic that we looked at last week. Can you improve the sentences below?

1. This essay examines both sides of views.
2. The first reason, the lives of animals should be respected.
3. Most people think animal testing is necessary but others are upset of these activities.
4. On other hand for those who are opposed this type of research would stand on ethical issues.
5. Thanks to the researches on mice, scientists have known how to treat diseases.
6. To sum up, it is highly true that we rely on animals’ research to help us to develop medicines.

I'll share my full essay next week.

Comments

[Sadaf]

1. This essay examines both view points.
2. First of all, lives of animals should be respected.
3. Most people think that animal testing is necessary while there are those who do not approve of these activities.
4.On the other hand, there are those who oppose this research based on ethical grounds.
6. to sum up, it is very true that we heavily rely on animals for performing research in order to develop medicines.

[cathy]

1.This essay examines two sides of viewpoints.
2.First of all, lives of animals should be respected.
3.Most people think that animal testing is necessary while others are upset at these activites.
4.On the other hand,those who based on ethical grounds oppose this type of research.
5.Thanks for the research on mice,scientists have known how to treat diseases.
6.To sum up,it is highly true that animals research help us develop medicines.

[Huyen Nga]

Dear Simon,

My question is not really related to the topic.

I would like to know whether or not it is okay to plan an agree/disagree essay like follows (in case there are Point A and Point B, and I support Point B)

1. Introduction
2. Drawbacks of point A
3. Benefits of Point B
4. Conclusion

[samane]

1.This essay examines not just positive view but opposite opinion of animal testing.

2.First of all, rights of animals should be highly respected (or considered) by different kinds of people.

3.Although most of people believe importance of animal testing, some do not agree with such studies.

4.On the other hand these experiments should follow ethical rules to convince people who significantly oppose such tests

5.Thanks to increasingly rate of researches on mice, scientists have come up with new cures to animal’ diseases

6.To sum up, researches conducted on animals will broaden the knowledge of drug discovery.

[tosin]

pls i need ur advice here,i jst wnt to put in for ielts,ur advice re welcmd

[tosin]

pls i need ur advice here,i jst wnt to put in for ielts,ur advice re welcmd

[tosin]

pls i need ur advice here,i jst wnt to put in for ielts,ur advice re welcmd

[hoami]

Dear Simon,
Some friends said to me that in Ielts exam, vocabulary for writing is partly different from one for speaking, some words should use in writing, not in speaking. Could you explain to me this question?

[Lulluby]

1. This essay will examine both sides of views.
2. First, animal's life should be respected.
3. Most people think animal testing is necessary but others are upset about this activity.
4. On the other hand, people who oppose this type of research would stand on ethical issues.
5. Thanks to the research on mice, scientists know how to treat diseases.
6. To sum up, it is true that we rely on animal research to help ourselves to develop medicines.

[frustrated.com]

1. This essay examines both sides of views.
- this essay will examine both points of view.
2. The first reason, the lives of animals should be respected.
-The first reason is animal's lives should be respected.
3. Most people think animal testing is necessary but others are upset of these activities.
-While most people think animal testing is necessary, others are upset about it.
4.On other hand for those who are opposed this type of research would stand on ethical issues.
-On the other hand, people who oppose this type of research would stand on ethical issues.
5.Thanks to the researches on mice, scientists have known how to treat diseases.
-Thanks to the researchers on mice that saved millions of lives from plague, which otherwise would have been impossible to save millions of human lives.
6.To sum up, it is highly true that we rely on animals’ research to help us to develop medicines.
To sum up, it is completely true that we tend to rely on animal testing to develop medicines.

[Salamat]

1-This essay examines both sides of the view (point)
2- The first reason is that (first,) the life of animals should be respected
3-Most people think that animal testing is necessary while other are upset at/about these activities.
4- On the other hand, those who oppose this type of research, their reasons would stand on ethical issues./ On the other hand, opponents’ arguments are based on moral issues.
5- To sum up, it is highly true that we rely on animal research to help us to develop medicines.

[Salamat]

1-This essay examines both sides of the view (point)
2- The first reason is that (first,) the life of animals should be respected
3-Most people think that animal testing is necessary while other are upset at/about these activities.
4- On the other hand, those who oppose this type of research, their reasons would stand on ethical issues./ On the other hand, opponents’ arguments are based on moral issues.

5-Thanks to the research on the mice,scientist know how to treat diseases

6- To sum up, it is highly true that we rely on animal research to help us to develop medicines.

[Suman]

Hi Huyen,
I think I can help you. The suggestions, I'll give, it's from Simon's ebook.

OPINION QUESTION:

WHEN COMPLETELY AGREE/disagree:
1. Introduction
2. first reason why you agree/disagree
3. Second reason why you agree/disagree
4. Conclusion.
Partly agree/disagree

1.introduction
2. Benefits of point A (for example: it is argued that. ..)
3. Benefits of point B (your support)
(For example: Despite the above argument, I believe that... )
4. Conclusion.

Best of luck.

If you need further help. Email me: [email protected]

[HuyHee]

1. This essay should be considered two side of viewpoint.
2. First of all, the living animal should be respected.
3. Most of people think that animal testing is necessary, while the others are on contrary.
4. On the other hand, those, opposing this type of research, would stand on ethical issues.
5. Thanks to the reseach on moice, scientists know how to treat diseases.
6. To sum up, It's fact that we rely on the animal researches to develope medicines

[Raveen]

Hi,

1. This essay examines disadvantages and advantages of the both views.

2.The first reason is that the lives animals should be treated fairly.

3.Most people argue that animal testing is necessary, while others are opposed it.

4.On the other hand, who are opposed this type of research would stand on ethical issues.

5.Thanks to researches on mice, scientists have known how to treat diseases.

6.To sum up, it is highly true that we rely on animals’ research to help us to develop medicines.

Thanks

[Tony]

I'll try
======================================
This essay examines both sides of views.
-->This essay examines both sides of [view].
=======================================
The first reason, the lives of animals should be respected.
-->[Firstly,] the lives of animals should be respected.
-->[For] the first reason the lives of animals should be respected.
-->The first reason [is] the lives of animals should be respected.
=======================================
Most people think animal testing is necessary but others are upset of these activities.
-->Most people think animal testing is necessary but others are upset [about] these activities.
=======================================
On other hand for those who are opposed this type of research would stand on ethical issues.
-->On [the] other hand[,] [] those who are opposed [to] this type of research would stand on ethical issues.
=======================================
Thanks to the researches on mice, scientists have known how to treat diseases.
-->Thanks to the researches on mice, scientists [got to know] how to treat diseases.
=======================================
To sum up, it is highly true that we rely on animals’ research to help us to develop medicines.
-->To sum up, it is [] true that we rely on animal researches [, which] help us to develop medicines.

[Mathias]

check the link is regarding to the question from last week
http://www.stanford.edu/group/hopes/cgi-bin/wordpress/2010/07/animal-research/

[Mikel]

1. This essay examines both points of view
2. Firstly, the lives of animals should be respected.
3. Most people think animal testing is necessary, but others disagree with these activities.
4. On the other hand, those who oppose to this type of research should stand on ethical issues.
5. Thanks to researches on mice, scientists have discovered how to treat many diseases.
6. To sum up, it is absolutely true that we ought to rely on animal research to help us develop better medicines.

I'm having my oral exam tomorrow evening, and the rest on Saturday morning. I'll jot down the questions I can recall. Good luck to you all.

[Mikel]

I came across with a more suitable option for number four:

On the other hand, those who flatly disagree with this type of research should advocate ethical reasons/issues.

What do you all think of it?

[Aleksandra Bucholc]

1. This essay examines both points of view.
2.The first reason is that the life of animals should be respected. or : To start with( to begin with),the life of animals should be respected.
3.While the large majority of people consider animal testing as necessary, the tiny minority of them raise their serious concerns about it.
4.On the other hand, those who oppose this style of research base their arguments, mainly, on ethical grounds.
5.Due to( owing to, thanks to)) the research on mice scientists now know how to treat many sorts of diseases.
6.To sum up, this is indeed true that we strongly rely on animals research to develop new kinds of drugs.

[Simon]

FROM SIMON:

Here are my suggestions:

1. This essay will examine both views.

PLEASE NOTE: It isn't necessary to write a "This essay will..." sentence in your introduction. Personally, I think it's a waste of time to do so.

2. The first reason IS THAT the lives of animals should be respected.

OR: Firstly, the lives of animals should be respected.

3. Most people think animal testing is necessary but others are upset BY / ABOUT these activities.

4. On THE other hand, many people are opposed TO this type of research FOR ethical REASONS.

NOTE: "stand on ethical issues" doesn't work in this sentence.

5. Thanks to RESEARCH (carried out) on mice, scientists have learned how to treat diseases.

NOTE: 'research' is uncountable - don't write 'researches'.

6. To sum up, it is certainly true that research using animals can help us to develop medicines.

NOTE: We don't say "highly true" in English. Also, "animals' research" suggests that the animals are doing the research.

[Hasan]

Hi to very one here,

Today I conducted IELTS writing test and here the essay - letter as i recall

Write a letter to your manger requesting one day off, as your friend had emergency situation and you have to stay with him

Explain why you need it

Task2

some countries has not polite young people, why and what must be done about it

I believe I did will following the Tips at this blog, although I was frustrated with the perfect answers which I couldn't write by myself

Cheers

[Soha]

Hey Hassan,

It is typically my exam on Egypt-Cairo :)

Good luck.
Soha

[Julia]

1.The author takes two opposite viewpoints in the essay.
2.First of all, human beings should respect all kinds of lives, including animals.
3.It is believed that animal testing is necessary, but there are still others holing the opposite point of view.
4.On other hand, those who opposed to animal testing care ethical issues more.
5.With the researches tested with animals, scientist gain more knowledge about diseases.
6.To sum up, it is a fact that we highly rely on animals’ research to improve the development of medical field.

[Julia]

1. The author takes two opposite viewpoints in the essay.
2. First of all, human beings should respect all kinds of lives, including animals.
3. It is believed that animal testing is necessary, but there are still others holding the opposite point of view.
4. On other hand, those who opposed to animal testing care ethical issues more.
5. With the researches tested with animals, scientist gain more knowledge about diseases.
6. To sum up, it is a fact that we highly rely on animals’ research to improve the development of medical field.

[Suman Dhakal]

Dear simon please give me the right introduction of the below given topic...

THE POWER OF CULTURE TO CREATE A BETTER FUTURE.Every part of the world has its own culture.Culture includes the arts,traditions and customs of a country or region as well as the wisdom,values and lifestyle and trend of the people living there.In order to build a peaceful world we need to acknowledge and respect each others culture.What aspects of the culture in your country or region do you take pride in?How can youth make most of them to create a better future?

[Chris_lyc]

1. This essay examines both sides of views.
2. The first reason is the lives of animals should be respected.
3. Most people think animal testing is necessary, while others are upset of these activities.
4. On the other hand, those who oppose this type of research would stand on ethical issues.
5. Thanks to the research on mice, scientists have known how to treat diseases.
6. To sum up, it is true that we rely on animals’ research helping us to develop medicines.