IELTS Writing Task 2: full essay

Today I'm attaching a model essay for the 'economic success' question that we were looking at a few weeks ago. The question is what I call a "2-part question", and I simply wrote one main paragraph about each of the two parts.

Click here to download the essay

Comments

[Lelo]

Hi Simon, please recommend some very important lessons in this blog to read and practice, as I have only one week left for my test

[Indu]

Hi everone

I gave my ielts tests on 16th november in india
Here are my answers of listening
Not in order
124 Green Street
Bargain
Printer
99
Excellent
Diseases
Eat
Conservation
Male
Teaching
Born talent
Numbers
Section 1 optional answers
His relative got good response
Office furniture
Section 2 optional answers

Balcony ( not sure )
145$ to 245$ may be ( B )

Is there anyone who gave his/her tests on the same date.

If yes then check my answers

[Simon]

Hi Lelo,

I think it depends on what your needs are. Maybe you could skim through the most recent lessons, and when you find something that looks useful, read it carefully.

Good luck in your test!

[Bob]

Hi. Simon. I enjoy reading your websites. It helps me a lot. I have learnt many useful things here. Thank you very much.

I have a question about writing task 2. Some tasks require us to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of topics. You told us we shouldn't give examiner our view if the task don't ask. But in the test 2 of the Cambridge Ielts 5, the author gave us a model answer about this task. He ended his article with his view.

It makes me confuse. Can you tell us which way we should use to write our answer. I hope you can understand my confusion. Hoping to hear from you.

[Heer]

Hello Simon,

What is difference between Writing Task-2 of Academic and General ?

[kranti]

Hi. Simon. I enjoy reading your websites. It helps me a lot. please can you tell the topics for speaking and writing

[sjm]

Hi Bob

When the question uses the word 'discuss', then it's better to give your opinion. If however the question says 'what are the advantages and disadvantages' then it's not asking for your opinion.

In general, there are three basic types of questions. One type concerns 'identifying' things (problems, causes, solutions, advantages etc). These questions do not need opinions. The other type are opinion based (agree/disagree, discuss both sides, discuss etc) and I always advise to give an opinion. Examiners look for opinions in these types of essays. The third type are combinations of the first two.

Heer - there is no difference between the essay in General and Academic, except for the fact that the questions are different and the academic questions may contain some more academic type language. They are assessed in exactly the same way.

[Linh]

Hi, Simon!
Please answer my question. Can I use both British English and American English in an IELTS writing task 1 and 2? Does it lower my score? I was wondering if I could use both "at the weekend" and "different than", for example, in an essay. I have the same question for Listening (sometimes I use British spelling, sometimes American spelling) and Speaking parts.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your help by daily lesson. I visit your website everyday since I knew about it 1 month ago. Your lessons are excellent. Wish you all the best!

[NARXOZ]

SJM,
many thanks for your comment, it is so clear and helpful...

[mika]

Hi Simon,

What if write both factors are equally important and they all can represent certain countries success. Or does we need to write one factor which is most important than the other factors? I got 5.5 in this essay and really confused why

[sjm]

Linh - both British and American spelling are always acceptable in IELTS, although it is certainly preferable to be consistent (eg: if you spell 'color' in the US style, then stick to that for the whole writing task). You could certainly write 'at the weekend'. The Listening test also accepts both versions. I'm not entirely sure what you mean by the speaking test though!
Regarding 'different than', I would avoid it. It's not wrong, but 'different from/to' is certainly more common in both the UK and USA.
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/words/different-from-than-or-to

[Joel]

Hi Simon
I have been wrote an essay that has similar than your question above..
Please Mark my essay, because I don't have corrector for all my essays.

Economic development is an important factor to measure a country’s success. But some people think there should be some other factors to be considered. What are these factors? And among them which one is more important than others.

Over sixty-years ago after the World War II, the advancement of industry became apparent things, many inventions appear to develop and assist human needs. The inventions are not only technologies but also the economic advancement. Therefore, the standardization of achieve in the system of government is relate to economic growth. Conversely, some people believe that the economic growth is only particular factor to measure the success of state. This essay would examine the factors to measure the performance of the country.

First and foremost, the theory of development has described that the goals of the government system were produced the wealth of nation. According to the economist; Adam smith, he said that the good kings or the greatest leader should be established the level of economic to high levels. For example, the high growth of economic could beat the level of poverty. Therefore, if country runs without the great growth of economic, the country could trap in worse level or impoverishment.

Standing on the other perceptions, some people believe that economic consideration is particular things to reflect the success of sovereignty. The sociologist, John Locke, argues that immaterial things are central point to reflect the level of country. For example, in industrial country people live with high salary but they could not live with happiness, they need something which create the calm in their life such as, social glue; live in good circumstance, religion, and family as the cornerstone of the life.

Moreover, the new perception should be build such as the new paradigm to account the goal of the development. The new age of development appears to answer this dubious. Muhammad Yunus, as professor in economics affair, says that the happiness should be new tools to measure the success of bureaucracy. he produces new steps of economics, it is index of happiness. It is essential the wealth without happy only fake of development.

To conclude, after analyze both view of the argument. Economic growth is primary tools to express the development of the society while other factors should be considered to apply in development theory such as happiness, religion, and family

[HUDA]

Hi Simon,,,I did the ielts exam today 21st-Nov, the task 2 was as following: Most people say the advertisements are becoming annoying and amusing and don’t help them in what they buy. Do you agree or disagree?
unfortunately although I did a very nice essay, but I started the introduction wrongly stating that instead of saying I disagree, I wrote I agree that advertisements help people in buying according to their preference and I gave explanation and examples in the fist paragraph, I need to know how much I will get penalty for this mistake.
thanks

[Ahmed]

For people who already did the speaking section of the IELTS academic module of November 21 2013, could you please please help with telling me what was the speaking topic about? Thank you very very much

[Bob]

Hi.
sjm.
Thank you for you advice.

[Neptune charm]

Dear Simon,
Thank you so much for your effort and guidance to us. your lessons has made a significant impact on my ielts esp, Writing. I only came to know about ur website a week before my IELTS and I just prepared for writing test from ur resources and I have now got the score that i needed.I got my result yesterday with L-7.5 R-7 W-7 S-8.I m very grateful to you. I wish u good luck in whatever you doing.
Thank you so so so much!
p.s
To all IELTS takers,
Follow Simon's instruction and tips. Dont try to go over the top in writing, keep it clear and simple. Go through his daily lessons. I wish u all good luck. Dont loose hope but keep practising.

[william]

hi simon,
this is Will
thank you so much for your help,
wanna ask a question
in your previous eassy, there is a sentence like this
"Another reason for this opinion is that artists do a job like any other professional, and they should therefore earn their own money by selling their work."
may I write this sentence without the comma (,) before "and" , just like blow :
"Another reason for this opinion is that artists do a job like any other professional and they should therefore earn their own money by selling their work."
and could you explain when do we need to use a comma (,) after "and" between two sentences. thanks a lot

[Simon]

Hi William,

Don't worry about the comma - I put it before a new idea that could be a separate sentence, but you don't have to put it.

[william]

thanks simon ,lol

[saif]

Hi Simon,
can you check this Intro for me as I take your idea but with my own words

Economic progress can be considered as a significant aspect in of any individual these days. Although progressed economic situation can provide a better life style for citizens and raise the country measure, still Education and Health can be considered as two more important factors which affect the measurement of a country. in this paper the importance of education and health on the country's rate will be discussed.

then going to the body paragraphs
please rate this writing

[saif]

aspect in the life of any individual
sorry for mistyping

[Semenchu]

Simon, this is maybe off topic but it may relevant in writing technique. Could you recommend and give advise how to produce essay more longer. I means, to write 500 words. It is simply multiply your technique twice especially in terms of sentences number. Thanks in advance..

[Mohamed]

Hi Simon,

I've looked at some of your band 9 essays. I noticed that you did not write the reasons or the key points in the thesis statement. Is just writing "in my opinion, I agree…) would be enough for a sharp, focussed thesis statement?

Thank you.

[Vahit]

hi Simon,

I have read your essay and I can say that about your conclusion; you have repeated yourself in conc. part.

[Simon]

Hi Vahit,

Yes, that was my aim. The conclusion should never contain anything new - just paraphrase / summarise what you have already said.

[sk]

Hi
Pls write this essay what in your opinion are the main problems facing modern industrial society ?
Sk

[Dan]

Hi Simon. This is great and well - organised essay. I really appreciate that you are willing to help students without any financial rewards. I hope you are really well. God bless you. Thanks again.

[Rajneesh Kapur.]

Sir, I have been teaching ielts for around ten years. Till now, six students have achieved perfect nine in listening, another six in the reading module and one in listening along with numerous 8.5 in all. I am a post graduate in English. You have been repeatedly using words firstly, secondly in your essays. They appear odd to me. The other day, I read a book written by respected Gabbi Duigu in which the use of these words is considered lazy writing. Please check this aspect scrupulously.

[Madina Muhammadyusupova]

Mr currently, i'm reading your essays, they are well organized. Can you give me some suggestion about ielts practice.My teacher recommended that i should do practice every day while others are saying generally increase your language skills, I have only 3 month to take official.

[Như Ngọc]

Hi simon. Can you help me to think about the topic : It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or musi, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to be become a good sport person or musician Thamks so much.

[Chương Đào]

Hi Simon,
I have just read your essay and I have one question. In paragraph 3, you said that education is the most important because it affects "the other two factors mentioned above" which, as I understand, are healthcare and human rights (in paragraph 2). When you explained, you write about how it affects people's health and economy; however, economy which was not one of the other two factors mentioned above. I think it should be about how education affects human rights.
Please let me know whether I am right or I misunderstand your point.
Thank you.