IELTS Writing Task 2: 'independence' question

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent.
 Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People have different views about whether we are more or less dependent on others nowadays. In my view, modern life forces us to be more independent than people were in the past.

There are two main reasons why it could be argued that we are more dependent on each other now. Firstly, life is more complex and difficult, especially because the cost of living has increased so dramatically. For example, young adults tend to rely on their parents for help when buying a house. Property prices are higher than ever, and without help it would be impossible for many people to pay a deposit and a mortgage. Secondly, people seem to be more ambitious nowadays, and they want a better quality of life for their families. This means that both parents usually need to work full-time, and they depend on support from grandparents and babysitters for child care.

However, I would agree with those who believe that people are more independent these days. In most countries, families are becoming smaller and more dispersed, which means that people cannot count on relatives as much as they used to. We also have more freedom to travel and live far away from our home towns. For example, many students choose to study abroad instead of going to their local university, and this experience makes them more independent as they learn to live alone. Another factor in this growing independence is technology, which allows us to work alone and from any part of the world.

In conclusion, while there are some reasons to believe that people now depend on each other more, my own view is that we are more independent than ever.

Note:
As usual, try to analyse this essay in terms of task response (does it fully answer the question?), organisation, 'band 7-9' vocabulary, and grammar.

Comments

[Mint]

If I were an examiner, I would give score band 6.0 for this essay. This essay don't have compelling ideas that convince reader, right? Just like the owner tries to finish his essay. Particularly the conclusion is totally boring. Grammar is good, vocabulary is enough for band 6.0.

[Sergant]

Hello!
In my opinion it could be rated for band 8.0
Essay split logically on 4 paragraphs.
There are introduction, two paragraphs with examples and conclusion.
In the introduction we can see a good example of paraphrasing current question.
The total amount of the words is completely enough.
I agreed about conclusion. It seems too boring.

[R]

Hi Mint,

It seems like only band 6.5. According to my view, this essay is written by Mr Simon, if I am not wrong. However, there are few reasons why this essay should able to get band 7 and more than that. First, I think to write essays without any grammatical error that impact very positively on examiner. Secondly, vocabulary is related to the topic and it seems me to quite perfect. The next reason is, essay flow is going well and finally, task response justify the essay perfectly.

I am no one to judge this essay, but at first sight, I feel very easy to read and understand. However, to write essays from starting to end in a correct manner with simple but with effective language is not as simple as we thought.

I am sure that Mr Simon will respond on both this comment which will clear our doubt about level for this particular essay.

[Allen]

what does "dependant" really mean?
Only about social connection between people?
I live in a city and I am not a farmer, but my life depends on the food provided by farmers. Am I dependent or not?

[Narayan , Australia]

Hi Guys,
This essay seems to me as estimated band 6.5 to 7.0 because it has 4 paragraphs clearly. Introduction is well written and short.
Two body paragraphs have included the reasons of questions separately in two paragraphs.
- I found conclusion is boring. I mean, it does not seem well written although it is short written.

[Cristiano Ronaldo]

Hi all guys above,

This essay was written by IELTS teacher Simon, thus why these guys can assess a low band? I highly appreciate Simon's essay and I think his essay deserve band 9.0. It totally perfect and wonderful for me.

Regards.

[MG]

Thank you Simon for this sample of OPINION+DISCUSS essay.

The introduction is quite fine and convenient, and the conclusion is satisfying.
Sufficient rang of collocations such as (the cost of living, more dispersed, growing independence, more freedom to travel )
Each paragraph has a topic sentence which is supported with ideas and examples, but the only minor weakness is the last idea in the paragraph 3 "Another factor in this growing independence is technology, which allows us to work alone and from any part of the world." which I think it needs for further description. However, this essay will highly more likely to score 8.
My question is that you mention your opinion three times.. is it fine to do that ????

[Badboy]

Simon,I have to say that,your essay is very well-organized,and esay to understand.Although your idea is that people nowadays are more independent than in the past,it seems to me that you are writing a balanced essay.I don't see clearly whether people nowadays are more dependent or not because in paragraph 3 and 4,you mention both ideas,which are that people are independent and dependent,but two ideas seem to equally important,and i don't see which one is more prominent through you paragraphs.

[Aria]

I cannot see any reason to give a low score such as 6.0 or even 7.0 for this essay. Introduction is exact what it supposed to be according to all tips that Simon give us so far. Two paragraphs are fluent enriched by band score 7-9 vocabulary and collocated words, and very short and effective conclusion. For who that find the conclusion boring my suggestion is to go back on the lesson from Simon on: Wednesday, March 19, 2014

[Raman]

Hi all
I agree with cristiano Ronaldo about this essays assessment , please do not underestimate it as it was written by an ielts teacher Simon. Also he has mentioned clearly in his Note to analyse the essay in terms of band 7-9 vocabulary, this means it must be scored above 7 band score . Thus it seems to me a perfect essay, well organized , easy to understand which answers the question fully, so I can give it band 9

[thi]

i think this essay does not fully answer the question. The question asks to discuss both views, however, it just covers one view.

[Aada]

Actually it is a very difficult topic for me :(
Here is my answer as practice, feel free to drop me a mail for some discussion....

--------
While many people believe that with the economic progress and technology development the individuals have ability to live an independent life, I support the view that people rely more on each other than decades ago, regardless of rural or urban areas.

Compared with our ancestors, the majorities of residents do not produce food, make clothes, or build houses for themselves anymore, since in modern society these living necessities are always provided by companies or individual professionals, and the cost of the products is normally much lower than the homemade stuff. Furthermore, there are always some products the non-professional person is not able to produce, such as computers, Televisions or cars, so people do not have any other choice but have to rely on others as long as they need these high-tech products. In addition to that, individuals are very dependent on others in terms of service as well. For instance, health care, education or car maintenance, they cannot be carried out without professional trainings and obviously it is not making sense at all for the individuals to learn all of these skills in order to take care of themselves. Based on the reasons listed above, it is not very difficult to admit that people live a normal life with other’s support, or their lives would end up with less efficiency, low quality or high cost.

In spite of the reasons why people cannot live totally independently in the aspect of material life, in some areas people do feel more independent. For example, citizens have freedom to express their own ideas towards political or economic topics, and they do not necessarily follow the authorities’ opinions, which means that people’s spirit life can be very independent. Also, the creativity in art industries is protected well so artists can express their views in many various formats and they can follow their own hearts to pursue the originality.

In conclusion, people live and rely on each other in order to make the best use of society development, and at the same time, the individual can have independent thoughts in the spirit society.

[Raman]

Hi thi,
The essay answers the question fully. Please look at the body paragraphs and read it carefully , as one of the topic sentence paragraphs says( there are 2 main reasons why it could be argued that we are more DEPENDENT on each other) and the other one says( however , I would agree with those who believe that people are more INDEPENDENT these days). Each sides of the argument has been well explained with reasons and examples.also simon has stated his opinion clearly in the second topic sentence ( I would argue ) that the question asks. I hope it would be clear for you

[sami]

Thumps simon... :)

[sami]

Thumps up simon .. :)

[Sidney Hua]

I would say this essay deserved a 7.5
Task Achievement: the essay responded well but not the best to the questions. (band 7)
Lexical Resources: Enough ( band 6.5)
Coherence and Cohesive: Logically structured paragraph; need to add more linking phrase. (band 7.5)
Grammar: Perfect ( band 9)

[Brian]

Hi

I'd like to know how those guys scored this essay. Honestly, I am not an examiner, but what I'd like most about Simon's essays is his method to write. He goes for easiest way to do so, instead of dealing with much difficult ways and showing off, he went directly to answer the question. I think most teachers who try to show a lesson on writing essays, even those who are native, do not do it in exam circumstances. So what is the benefit for Students to learn about?
If you take a look at Cambridge essays giving by authentic students you see essays there that seem really easy not filling or enriching by seemingly difficult lexicon, I think examiners already know that in 40 minutes a student hardly enough to write an essay that seems outstanding or can put on newspaper. I think guys should know it.

[tugba]

Hi guys,

If I analyse this essay in terms of those criteria which were given by Simon, I would say that:

1-Task response: I didn't like the task response. It doesn't -fully- response the task. There could be one more main body paragraph which strengthen the view of the writer because current essay doesn't give any dominant point of view. Actually, it doesn't need to be predominant on a particular idea. But I cannot conclude that the writer is on the fence. I mean he supports both sides until the conclusion. However, when I read the conclusion, I felt writer is supporting that becoming more independence.

2-Organisation: Quite satisfying. The essay has 4 parts: introduction, two main body paragraphs, and conclusion. Also writer discusses both view. Structure is good. You can clearly see topic sentences, supporting sentences, and examples in each main paragraph.

3-Vocabulary: I can't say that there is a'band 7-9' vocabulary. But I consider that there is no reason for not getting a 6 or 6.5 from vocabulary part.

4-Grammar: It is satisfying as well. I can see how the grammar is varied in this essay.

Overall, if were an examiner, I would give 6 or 6.5 to this essay.

Thank you Simon for this example. I really appreciated.

PS: I can't stay without saying that we are not judging Simon or his writing skills. I am pretty sure everyone can be experts in their first languages. There may be some mistakes in this essay which doesn't mean Simon do not know how to write a well-written essay in English. It means that we can learn from those mistakes, if we pay attention to.
I think he aimed that with this example.
Thus, I'd like to clarify that I didn't mark Simon, I only tried to analyse this example. That is why I didn't give a band 9.

[R]

Hi all,

I think this essay is well written and it is simply not easy to write similar level essay in exam without any error in all four criteria section.

I feel this seems very simple but still very effective essay.

[sjm]

Aada

Look at your second paragraph and look at Simon's. Simon's has a clear topic sentence which tells the reader immediately what the paragraph is about. Yours doesn't, and it is very confusing to read.

[Sherwin]

I suppose this essay worth at least band 7. I cannot give a higher score because I actually don't know what an essay at 8 or 9 score should like.
1-Task response:key words of the question are "modern life""more" and "independent(dependent)" .this essay fully explains why moden life is dependent or independent and keep comparing to the old age.It well done in this response.
2-organisation:Good short introduction and concludion which clearly rewrite the question and show the writer's opinion.More words are fucused on main two paragraghs.I think its good.
3-vocabulary(base on my interest):complex,dramatically,rely on,deposit,mortgage,ambitious,support,smaller and more dispersed. Other vocabulary seems easy to realise, which contribute to understanding this essay.
4-grammar:A wide variety of structures are used in this essay.I don't know how to describe them in english and if I display them all, I almost need to copy every sentence of this essay.

So I feel this essay is terrific and the only drawback is using the phrase "for example" twice, which both affects the variety of vocabulary and grammar.I mean writer can choose anther factor to support the oppion rather than taking example.

[Leo]

Hi Guys,

The idea of IELTS essay is not to convince the examiner to agree with your points, but just to demonstrate that you have the ability to express your ideas in a correct way, which could be simple or even silly from their perspectives. It really requires higher skill to write an article to sell your ideas and persuade others. This is called a newspaper writer...

Any thoughts?

[Mint]

Hi Leo,

I think I would have to agree with you. Perhaps I expect more than this, so it let me feel quite disappointed. I read the essay again, and I find it's grammatically flawless - this literally scales up examiner's favor for writing level of any IELTS candidates. I admit that I do make loads of error when writing under time pressure.

[sjm]

Hi All

Let me 'defend' Simon a little here by saying that this is a Band 9 essay. The first thing we notice here is that there are no grammatical errors and the vocabulary is completely natural and appropriate. The essay answers the question fully and provides reasons and examples. The opinion is clearly expressed and consistent and the way the essay is structured makes it easy to follow. Sherwin's comments above are accurate. Some people said the conclusion is 'boring' - we don't use that type of descriptor in IELTS and, also, it's too short to be boring! Leo, although you are correct when you say the examiner does not have to be convinced by you, an essay is an opinion supported by evidence with the aim to convince the reader. This means that your arguments and supporting arguments should be 'convincingly expressed'. If you don't do this, you could be 'irrelevant' which is not what we want.
One last comment: Tugba says that the essay does not have a 'dominant point of view'. Essays do not have to have a 'dominant' view. It is perfectly fine (and in fact very realistic, because IELTS questions are often issues that people disagree on) to examine both sides of an issue and then identify one side as being more convincing.

[Ali]

I would give it a 6 because it doesn't answer the question!

[sjm]

Ali

In what way doesn't it answer the question?

[Soul]

The essay in my view seems as usual way as simon write and plan about his essay : simple and easiest way to answer the question. However, the essay could be said little bit more loose compare to the past band 9 examples that simon wrote. Therefore, i can give this eesay a score 8. Finally, i do not agree with people who gave band under 7 because this essay mirror in some ways to the previous band 9 essays. If they seriously belive that this essay is worth 7 or less, it could mean that the ways of his essay writing might be reconsider in terms of planning and task responds.

Ps, more relevant and direct words to the task than difficult word is more achivable to the higher band as it gives give a more easy flow to understand. So the wording here in my opinion is totally ecceptable without any hesitation and it is certainly value more than band 8.

[mitom]

Hi Simon,

Is it a real trouble if i write three body paragraph, all discuss one side of topic?

The topic is: it is neccessary to have many public spaces in cities like parks, squares. Do u agree/disagree?

I write three paragraphs all agree.

Please kindly advise. Thank you.

If anyone has any idea about this, pls help. Thanks a million!

[mojtaba]

how important is spelling in ielts writing?
tnx simon

[Ben]

just my own opinion, I might just score this essay for 6.5. Because the vocabulary is not that rich and sentence structure is not really diversified. Some more,the argument does not feel persuading although the essay is well organised. It is more likely writing by non native English user, I think.

Thanks.

[Simon]

FROM SIMON:

The good news for those of you who think the above essay deserves less than a band 9 is that IELTS writing is easier than you think!!

Students tend to be the most critical assessors of IELTS essays because they expect that a band 9 essay should be difficult to read. In fact, it's the opposite: good writing SEEMS easy because it flows well, and badly written essays are the most difficult to read and understand.

I can assure you that I have taught students who went on to achieve band 9 in writing using the simple, clear writing style that I recommend in my lessons. If you believe me and you choose to write your own essays in this way, you'll give yourself a better chance of getting a high score!

Also, read this lesson:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2014/03/ielts-advice-the-wrong-idea.html

PS. Thanks for the support sjm. I hope more students listen to what we're saying.

[garywhite]

Hi Everyone here，
One thing I want to particularly emphasise here is that while you are writing or speaking in the exam, you are not supposed to convince the examiner, you only need to clear what you think in a clear and logical way. Also, since someone here mistakenly commented Simeon's essay that it only deserves a low score because it is boring. Actually, what matters isn't what you write! but how you write! whether your ideas are interesting or not doesn't makes any difference to your score. I doubt that the one doubts simon did take IELTS before and don't know much about the exam.

[Martin]

WOW~ I am totally shocked to read the comments saying that this sample essay deserves less than 7.0....
I have never expected students to judge and score Simon's essays in such a harsh way, but well, I guess I was wrong...

After correcting and rewriting countless number of Task2's for 4 years, the quality of the essays written by my students scoring 7 or 7.5 has never been nearly as good as Simon's. Also, I must say that students using clear and simple writing techniques are more likely to score higher in the real test.

As always, thank you Simon for your useful daily lessons/tips!

[Atanu Debnath]

Hi, Simon Sir

I think It could be more appropriate and another good phrase I use in this band 9 essay.

I use :

"Firstly, I should mention that life is not a bed of roses, it is more complex and difficult than people usually think."

Instead of :

"Firstly, life is more complex and difficult......."

What do you think sir?

[Abdelmoula]

I think for me ,it's well-written
and so that it could be up to band 8

[Martin]

Hi Atanu Debnath,

What you wrote is OK, but that it something that should be avoided in IELTS writing. Please have a look at this:
http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2011/11/ielts-advice-avoid-proverbs-and-clich%C3%A9s.html

Cheers,
Martin

[Theodecker10]

Its 8.5-9 for me. And it depends on the examiners perception of the essay. I've taken the ielts many times and ive noticed that no matter how good your grammar and the use of highfaluting words are, as long as you dont have a clear answer, opinion and did not cover the task given you will not get a high score.

Especially in the middle east , people are having very difficult time to get a high score in writing. So i think some examiners give consideration that eventhough you have a lot of mistakes in grammar and punctuations as long you understand and defend your answer correctly its good to get 7 band.

[Theodecker10]

Hey mint. Try to answer some of the questions and post it here lets see how much will you get :)

[A]

Dear Simon,
mmmm...it seems you inititated a sort of interesting debate by posing the question 'to analyse the essay'. Some comments really made me laugh especially the opening comment-- by Mint.

Your essay is Superb as always.. Fully answers the question , very well organised, both views have been discussed with a clear personal opinion.

The thing that I specifically like about your essays is " the easy flow" , and that's the beauty of your work that you maintain throughout.

One thing I have certainly noticed in this essay -- that how beautifully you managed to state /relate your opinion in 3rd para ( of course it seems relevant with that para).

Many students have given you scores for your essay,,, May I ...??

[Simon]

Thanks Theodecker10 and A

I'm happy to have sparked a debate. I can see that there's still a lot of work to be done to convince people that you don't need to be Shakespeare to get a band 9!

I could easily write an essay full of strange, 'difficult' words if I wanted to, but that kind of writing just looks forced and unnatural.

'A', I'm glad you noticed the "easy flow" - this is what good writing should aim for in my opinion. Feel free to suggest a score too! I'm sticking with my band 9 :)

[A]

Good to see your reply Simon.

Yes, being a Native user of the language with good teaching experience, could easily make you write essays full of difficult words and complicated sentences.

Thats why I referred to it " Beauty of your work" . Because you do bear in mind that you write it for non- natives and yet do not compromise on the quality of essay in terms of its structure, incorporating good ideas and use of enough good vocabulary with accurate grammer.

IELTS is a grid lock and you are helping many to unlock it by providing practical and easy solutions.

If I were to give you a score for your essays, it would always be 9 ( or more if I could.. )

[Simon]

Thanks A

[A]

You are very welcome Simon! I feel I haven't said enough yet! By the way , Thank you so much for allowing me to suggest a score !!

[Sarah]

I was very interested in reading this essay. Although it seems to be simple , believe me it is not quite easy to write readers understand.

[abc]

Hi guys,

Others might have a doubt on Simon's essay, which is quite phenomenal. Although he did not put his marks of IELTS on his site, we just need to appreciate his effort on sharing strategies of taking IELTS. I found his essay is quite helpful to improve my essay. If he upload his IELTS scores certified by Cambridge Ielts, no one would have never ever be suspicious of his capability. This is my opinion. Anyhow, Simon is a good teacher I believe.

[VNTran]

Hi guys,
I think this essay deserves to band 9. As we can see, the essay is logically divided into 4 paragraphs including: introduction, 2 paragraph discuss both view and conclusion. In addition, Mr. Simon are very clever when strongly expressing his idea in the introduction and the third paragraph. Based on many respects, this essay is simple but effective. Great!

[VNTran]

Hi guys,
I think this essay deserves to band 9. As we can see, the essay is logically divided into 4 paragraphs including: introduction, 2 paragraph discuss both view and conclusion. In addition, Mr. Simon are very clever when strongly expressing his idea in the introduction and the third paragraph. Based on many respects, this essay is simple but effective. Great!

[Arkan muhammed]

I admire the easy technique you follow when writing. I consider this essay merit 9

[Hajira]

I would like to share my introduction for this essay. I would appreciate the guidance as I am about to take test in coming saturday.

It is generally debated in today's world whether the self-reliance has either increased or decreased. However, while it may seem that more individuals are self sufficient nowadays, I am of opinion that we still very much rely on others.

[tung]

hi everybody can someone explain for me to this i still don' get this "instead of going to their local university "
why "university" here is not "universities" beacause "university" is a countable noun and it has the word "their" in front of .... hope someone can help me

[Zoe]

Hi Simon,

Im quite confused about the structure of "discuss both sides and give your opinion" question type.
Can I organise the essay like this:(5 paragraphs)
1. Intro
2. opinion about the first idea
3. opinion about the 2 nd idea
4. express my support for the 2nd idea
5. Conclusion

Thank you
Zoe

[chloe]

Hi Zoe,

It's ok to write 5 paragraphs essay but I suggest you stick with 4 paragraphs written like this :

1. Intro(rewrite the question + give your opinion)
2. opinions why one side is agreeable
3. opinions why the side you chose is more agreeable(you can write it in the topic sentence like Simon did in this essay)
4. conclusion

I'd love to get your opinion too Simon whether I analyzed the essay in the right way or not.
Thank you =]

[Sophia]

Hi Simon,

I took IELTS in August. I'm re-taking this October as I need band 8-9. My scores were : Listening 6.5, Reading 7.0, Writing 7.5 and Speaking 9.0. I hadn't practiced listening on "Speakers" which threw me off guard. The eco in auditorium is something different. Secondly, I missed things during the listening section-3 where I was asked to match items. I was confused and wasnt able to quickly pick up from where I was lost as a listener.

I have 25 days to prepare again and take the test. I cannot affort a tutor and I'm wondering how do I take corrective action in these few days to have a better score? I know I need to practice more but I'm unable to find gaps in my learning. I've purchased your e-book and that's been a big help.

Do you recommend taking daily practice tests? I'm clueless and need your help.

Could you please advice? Thank you for your time.

[Rajesh]

It is a simple free flowing essay for a topic which would normally receive strong views. I would rate it 9 .

I have made an attempt to solve this question and request your views, especially whether it has provided a balanced view.

[Rajesh]

It is a simple free flowing essay for a topic which would normally receive strong views. I would rate it 9 .
I have made an attempt to solve this question and request your views, especially whether it has provided a balanced view.

People have varied views on whether people are more dependent or less dependent on others in the present modern world. I believe that the people are more independent today than people in the past.
Nowadays, the modern technology has impacted work and social life in many ways. Firstly, people use tools and machinery to do their work, such as in farms and factories, which means they are less dependent on other to complete their work. Secondly, with the availability of computers and mobile, one can even run business from within the boundaries of their home. People are even able to run personal chores like banking or paying their bills over the internet without having the bother of going over to banks and offices. Finally, people seem to enjoy the independence and privacy offered by the modern technology, which definitely impacts the level of dependence, interaction and social life of the society at large.

The modern world, with its sophisticated technology has replaced the simpler and people oriented systems with larger and complex systems, which are driven by technology, hence the dependence of people has shifted on such systems rather than people. When people need any help and support they are dependent on user manuals or if the problem is more complex, they need to get in touch with the customer care centers or helpdesk for assistance. The dependence on people is however much lesser than in the past.
In conclusion, it is evident that with the advent of technology and modern ways, people are more self-sufficient and rely lesser on others for doing their professional and personal tasks.

[Ali]

People have different views about whether people have become more or less dependent on each other. Although there are more convincing points in favor of independence cases among people, I believe that the number of dependent people has increased.

Supporters of this idea think that, there are several reasons for this and one of them would be awareness of people about obvious difficulties of a real life. For example, Young people are mainly dependent on their parents due to not being able to earn enough money .It means that they need home, family, car, job and all of these could be gained by support of their parents. In addition, they are more likely learning how to raising a family, bringing up children, making a living from their older ones. There is no doubt that the standard of living are more lower in many countries and finding a decent job is more difficult than ever before and this makes clearer for younger people to understand real situation and respect, also becoming dependent on each other to some extent. However, people can be dependent on each other in other circumstances, like in a workplace. An ordinary worker can be dependent on his boss temporarily in terms of implementing his obligations.

Opposites of this view believe that today, people have become more independent. People are highly interested in looking for their own life and not being dependent on other people. They are more likely working hard, willing to achieve whatever they want, making their life more comfortable by themselves in order to feel a sense of freedom. As these people are in search of independence, they have become resilient to more challenging and various difficulties. They really enjoy becoming independent financially and live without an assistance of others. Families are separating to different locations and connection between them is becoming less than before. This case also leads to turning people into more independent and less care from their parents. Apart from this, some younger people have a tendency of becoming independent in order to bearing responsibility of new life after getting married.

In conclusion, it seems to me that while people are becoming independent and neglect to other factors, it would be more beneficial for them to respect each other and also dependent on each other.

[jade]

while I agree with that the essay deserve a high score overall, i am a little confused about the content, it seems the author mainly talking about the relationship in a familiar, but the dependence do not only relates to familiar. So I can not fully agree with the idea described in this essay.

[Bahadır]

Hello everyone.Could you assess my essay and give me a feedback please.I have an exam on 18 April and ı need to get at least 6.At my first attempt ı got 5.5.
Some people believe that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other,however some individuals hold a different attitude and they think that people have become more independent.Personally,I agree with this statement that we have become more independent for several reasons.
First of all,in recent years,almost every individuals live in a place where is far away from their home town so as to work or study and they have an ability for making a decision without consulting someone.As a result they have a tendency to become more independent.Furthermore,family pressure is considerably less than three or four decades ago which means families allow their children to fulfil their preferences.For instance,in my country,families used to decide whether their child would be a doctor or teacher.But nowadays this circumstances has changed and everyone can determine their own profession.Moreover,young people have less friends in comparison with the past since they spend time at home and they prefer to use a computer at times.As a consequence, they isolate themselves from the real environment.
On the other hand,people do not visit their relatives often while in the past they used to.This situation makes people more independent In addition,since almost everyone has an internet connection we avoid interacting with each other.For example,when we want to acquire a knowledge we can visit some websites in order to learn it.
In conclusion,I totally agree with the idea that we have become less dependent on each other for several reasons such as the development of technology and decrease in the amount of family pressure.

[Bahadır]

approximately 270 words but I could not come up with reasons why we have become more dependent.Is it possible to get 6 if we mention only one side of the argument?

[Laila]

Dear Simon,

This essay confused me because you have gave your own opinion "modern life forces us to be more independent than people were in the past" in the introduction.

Then why can you introduce other's opinion on the second paragraph?

As you mentioned on December 10,2014, "If you completely agree or completely disagree,Don't write a paragraph about what 'other people' think. If you do that, you are in danger of writing a "discuss both views" essay. "

Can you explain it for me?

Thank you very much.

[Laila]

Dear Simon,

I have made a mistake.

I thought this is a "agree or disagree" question:)

I just found that this is a discussion question,LOL.

I can understand right now.

Laila

[Z]

For Those who undersetimated a great Simon's essay.

You should not be here anymore and get away from this website.

If you don't appreciate his great effort and support, find somebody else or study yourself.
It is really disgusting to read some of you guys' comment that this essay should be lower or borning or so...

This is such a perfect essay and many students can learn from his writing techniques with lots of ideas and vocabularies.

I am believing Simon and also agree with the idea that this essay deserves to be recieved a band 9.

Thank you Simon as always from the bottom of my heart.

Regards,

[nina]

Some people had rude comments I think! Please believe Simon, He is English, he was an examiner and currently our distant teachers. For sure, he knows better than all of us. He is simply realistic. We all should accept that he is totally right and if we follow his advice we can get high score.

[SuwandiK]

hello guys, im 5-years late in responding this article by Simon..but this is my work which is still too lengthy, still struggling to make it faster n shorter. If im fortunate and you are generous, i would highly appreciate you comments on my work. thank you.

An opinion sees that people at present have become more dependent on each other compared to the past, whereas the other would say the opposite. I agree with the first view, and I would say interdependency between people is still the essence of people's daily life in all contexts.

I support the idea that people are becoming more dependent on each other such as in the context of the present global economy. In the past, each the U.S. and Chinese domestic economy stood independently from one and another and any phenomenon which occurred within one of them did not have any influence on the other. However, increased economic cooperation between the two at present has created a mutual dependency between both. As it can be seen on the news, a problem that can occur in either the Chinese or the American domestic economy at present will directly bring a negative impact on the opposite party's domestic economy as well.

In contrast, another opinion sees every person nowadays has reached a higher level of self-sufficiency than in the past. In the present cyber era, people who need to solve their health problems can find themselves online self-help without the need of consulting a medical doctor. They can also watch lecture or tutorial videos on Youtube when they need to learn about any skills they wish in the absence of a teacher. However, I think the internet users are still in need of the experts who can constantly manage and upgrade the information that is being used. As new medical findings and methods keep appearing, online medical guides need to be reviewed and revised every day by the physicians themselves. Similarly, online learners need teachers and experts who can keep producing new videos that teach better skills in dealing with the world that keeps changing from time to time. Hence, I would say the dependency of one person on the other is still an essential part of daily life even in the present era of the internet.

In conclusion, I would say that interdependency between people at present has become stronger than before in any contexts of daily life even though some would think the contrary.