IELTS Writing Task 1: bar chart essay

Here's my full essay for last week's question:

The bar chart compares the turnover in dollars from sales of video games for four different platforms, namely mobile phones, online, consoles and handheld devices, from 2000 to 2006.

It is clear that sales of games for three out of the four platforms rose each year, leading to a significant rise in total global turnover over the 7-year period. Sales figures for handheld games were at least twice as high as those for any other platform in almost every year.

In 2000, worldwide sales of handheld games stood at around $11 billion, while console games earned just under $6 billion. No figures are given for mobile or online games in that year. Over the next 3 years, sales of handheld video games rose by about $4 billion, but the figure for consoles decreased by $2 billion. Mobile phone and online games started to become popular, with sales reaching around $3 billion in 2003.

In 2006, sales of handheld, online and mobile games reached peaks of 17, 9 and 7 billion dollars respectively. By contrast, turnover from console games dropped to its lowest point, at around $2.5 billion.

Comments

[jaafar]

I want learn influence in English

[baggi]

Hello Simon,
Can I ask why you didn't mention any figures between 2003 and 2006.
Thank you.

[raj]

hiiii sir..

i got a bar chart in my test.
Task 1
"The bar chart shows the water levels in resorviour in six Australian cities from oct 1999 to oct 2001."
measure in (% of maximum.)
TASK 2
Many people try to find out about their old generation. some people think it is very useful to finding about their past generation.Other think our present and future generation is more important so we should more focus on it.
discuss both views and give your own opinion.

[Nazanin Karimaghaei]

Hi raj
Where did you take your exam?

[raj]

HII..
INDIA (PUNJAB) CITY JALANDJAR

[Carolina]

Hi Simon.
I want to thank you for your website and all the info and effort you are putting to teaching us.
I took Ietls 10/05 and task 1 was about a map of desalination and water treatment and task 2 was something related to crime and the increase of it in young people.
Hope this is useful for some students and you!
Bye

[Arslan Saeed]

thanks @Carolina

[Carolina]

you are very welcome Arslan

[Nnanh]

Hi Simon,

Could you please tell me why you use the present tense in this sentence:
"No figures are given for mobile or online games in that year."?

Thank you!

[archana]

hi raj
idp or british council

[Arslan Saeed]

hey @Carolina, could you please be so kind to tell us about the reading passages? How did that part go? Was it tough? Thanks in anticipation

[raj]

hiiii archana..

british counsil.

my speaking test questions:
1 name
2 study
3.home town
4.do you like your home town?why?
5.is it safe for children?
6.do you know your neigbours?
7.do you use maps?
8.did you learn about maps?
9. which one better paper maps or electronic maps?
10.letter writing is no more popular ,why?
11.what types of letters people receive these days?
12.what are the benefits of face to face communication?
13.what make a person good communicater?
14.is language imporatnt for communication?
15. is cell phone better than email and letter?
16.do you like to work in silent place or in noise?
17.what do you do to concentrate on your work?
18.what is better to concentrate morning or evenings?
cue card
important letter or email you sent to someone:
who was he/she?
when and why you sent it?
expalin why is was important to you?

[G]

Hi Simon and everybody, what do you guys think about this essay. I am going to take an IELTS exam next month, but I am a little bit afraid of my writing skill:

The bar chart illustrates the revenue of four different types of digital games around the world during a 6-year period. As is shown by the graph, handheld games gained the highest turnover and while the three other types all went up significantly, only console games declined steadily over the period.

To be more specific, in 2000, handheld games achieved nearly 12 billion dollar, which was roughly twice as much as the figures of console games. From 2000 onward, the revenue of handheld games fluctuated slightly but its trends was generally upward with practically 18 billion in 2006 whereas console games’ sales fell steadily to the lowest position at only 3 billion dollar in 2006.

Interestingly, it was not until 2001 that online games appeared with impressive figures at about 1 billion dollar which increased remarkably to 2 billion in the following year. In 2002, mobile phone games first came out and reached turnover as much as online games did. Until the end of the period, these two type of games grew considerably and peaked at 9 and 7 billion dollar respectively.

[Carolina]

HI @Arslan Saeed I have forgotten them already sorry, I only remember the last one was about psicology and human behaviour I think.
Good Luck!

[Tony Rong]

Hi Simon,

Could you please let me know why you use present tense in sentence:"No figures are given for mobile or online games in that year."?

Thanks in advance.

[Zorilu]

Brilliant!!!

[grace]

Hi, Simon.
I'm grace in seoul,South of korea.
I always appreciate your help and cooperation for the exam on ielts-simon.com site. Your lessons are very useful all students who want to prepare for The IELTS.
Indeed, I've got a various technic as well as a correction about the test, especially it's for WRITING.
Thank you sooo~~ much for your help again. :)
Best regards.
-grace-

[A H]

@Tony Rong, because the fact is present that the bar chart provided to be use just like the introduction "the bar chart COMPARES or shows ….." It is the present fact not the datas in the pass.

[Victoria]

Hello Simon,

Tell me please, is it necessary to write conclusions to the graphs? I saw model answers with summaries in some books.

Thanks!

[Jessie]

Hi Simon,

I believe in your third paragraph, "no figures are given for mobile or online games in that year", "are" should be changed to "were".

Thanks.

[Annie]

Hi Simon, is it ok to use the phrase "sales performance" in this case? Thanks.

[Irfan Ahmed]

@jessie : "No figures are given" is correct. think of it this way.

No data "was" found in the study, therefore no figures "are" given today.

[PJ Escalante]

Hi Simon,

I just have a simple question with regard to the essay format. For this king of essay, do I need to still write a conclusion?
Will there be a mark down in case I happen not to write any conclusion.

Thank you.

PJ

[Saalim]

Thanks a million sir for your precious lessons to us.
I ran into a little bit confusing question which is ,one of my teacher told that TASK 1 is not so vital in the writing part of IELTS. As he pointed out, merely try to write Task 1 in a simple and clear way not too complex to be save from cutting your Task 2's band. which simply means if we leave gap or only we write task 1 like a report,the may cut to band from task 2?
is it logical and correct argument ???
looking forward to your response .

[jill]

Hi Simon,

I recently had my review for academic IELTS however its just for a week, my listening and reading skills are somewhat very good compare to my writing skills. My band score requirement should all be 7.5 and I can't even make 6.5 in writing every time I had a coaching. Will you please give me advices and suggestions on how I can reach my band score for writing. Thank you and God bless

[Ariana]

Hi Simon and all, kindly need your comments.

The graph reveals the total sales in the world for four categories of digital games (mobile phones, online, console and handheld games) over the 7-year period. It is obvious that the turnover of all games highly rose from 2000 to 2006, except console games that dropped slightly. Handheld games contributed as the largest proportion of the total sales.
In 2000, only console games that dominated the revenue of digital games all over the world. Interestingly, handheld games' sales increased steadily from around 11 billion dollars in 2000, and reached 18 billion dollars in 2006. By contrast, the sales of console games declined by 3 billion dollars in 2006, while it was accounted for 6 billion dollars in the beginning.
Online games sold since 2001, and it rose considerably for the period. In 2006, the total income from online games was half of the console games (around 9 billion dollars). The trend of mobile phone games seems similar with the online games. It had started in 2002 with around 2 billion dollars, rose steadily and stood at around 7 billion dollars at the end of the period.

[MOZAFFAR]

Thanks dear SIMON for your good teaching method. i think sth typed here by mistake.
(Over the next 3 years, sales of handheld video games rose by about $4 billion, but the figure for consoles decreased by $2 billion.)I mean there is some thing wrong with data about handheld devices and console gamesin this sentence.Beecause the values are totally different.

Appreciated