IELTS General Writing: apology answer

Here's my full answer to last week's General Writing task:

Comments

[aa]

Dear Simon,

Will I lose marks for using the wrong answer sheet in my IELTS Writing test?

[Sjm]

No.

[kambiz]

Hi SJM,

No for what? apparently so much tired to go with more detail.

[Sjm]

If you mistakenly use the wrong answer paper in the writing test (for example you write task 1 on the task 2 paper) it will not affect your score.

[Anwer Jaffer]

Please, provide feedback for the following letter -

You were hurt in a minor accident inside a supermarket, and you wish to complain to the supermarket.
Write a letter to the manager of the supermarket. In your letter
• Say who you are
• Give details about the accident
• Suggest how the supermarket could prevent similar accidents

Dear Sir or Madam,

This is to inform you regarding an accident that happened in your supermarket a week back. My name is Anwer Jaffer; I am a regular shopper at this store since, past five years as I reside across the street.
As usual, I visited your location last Saturday, while I gathered my groceries in the dairy section to move towards the gift shop, I slipped and hurt myself. My entire backside was sore forcing me to remain in bed for two days before recovering. Apparently, someone spilled a few cans of milk and juice which was not cleaned in time causing the entire floor to be dirty and dangerous.
Some shoppers informed the floor supervisor about the wet floor. I suggest you, staff adequately to assist customers and make sure there is more than one floor in-charge available to monitor such situations.
I hope, my suggestions are helpful in avoiding such incidents in future.

Sincerely,
Anwer Jaffer

[Pseudonym]

"I was in danger of losing my job if I didn't meet the sales agent." is the prepositional phrase 'in danger of' means 'risk'?
Thank you in advance.

[dave]

Dear Sandy
I am writing this letter because i need to apologies for not being able to come to your party last monday afternoon. . Also i could not inform you that until now as i was so busy with my work as it is financial year ending time as you aware that, lots of things to do at work.
i hope you will forgive me for that for being truthless. I was planning to meet our old friends in high school but i could not make it through how ever i bought two tickets for us to go to a movies in glen as i know you would love it. once again many apologies for did not make it through.

talk to you soon
Shani

[keith]

at the end,

you wrote :I've bought tickets for us both to go to the football next saturday.

can I change to FOR BOTH OF US to go to the football next saturday?

[Haseeb]

Dear Earl,
I hope you find this letter in better health and you had a fabulous birthday over the weekend.
I apologize for missing this important event of yours, and not letting you know in advance that I will not be able to join. I feel terrible that I couldn’t spare few moments to let you know until now.
Although I had bought a magnificent present for your birthday but at the eleventh hour I had to fly Baltit for an important business meeting. This is why I was unable to join your birthday party and I couldn’t present you birthday gift.
I really hope you will forgive me this time as well, as you did last year, if I take you and your significant other for dinner to your favorite restaurant. Do let me know which day work fine for both of you so that I can make reservations in advance.
See you soon.
Haseeb

[Dhaval]

Hi Simon,

I have one question that at the time of signing off the letter, especially an apology letter to a friend.

Can we write:

"Best Wishes" because it is an informal letter, or we have to write "Speak to you soon" only as you have written above in the letter.

Please reply because I have my exam next week that is Thursday.

[Simon]

Yes, "Best wishes" is fine.

[Khaled Said]

Dear Mohamed,

I hope me email finds you in a good health. I hope that you have enjoyed your birthday celebration.

I feel guilty not attend your party and I have forgotten to call you that day. Unfortunately, I have encountered some circumstances this week, so let me explain the situation to you.

Nowadays, our company had received a proposal to be merged with one of the greatest IT companies over the world. Therefore, we have been constantly meeting with all related parties include, top management, auditors, as well as banks. Consequently, I have worked flat out and have not got a minute to myself even including weekends. As a result, I believe that the situation will continue for next 2 weeks.

I would like to see you on Saturday Evening April 19th at 7:00 PM at Starbucks where we would grab couple coffee and then stop by TJ Friday restaurant to have dinner together.
Please let me know that if it would be convenient for you. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours Sincerely,

Khaled

[Scavo]

Hi,Simon,

I have a very tiny question regarding your model letter here.
In these sentences:
1. I'm so sorry that I wasn't there to
celebrate with you.
2. I feel terrible that I haven't found the
time to contact you until now.
Can I omit the word 'that'?
Like in the sentence'I hope you'll come', does omitting 'that' make it more informal?

Thank you!

[Simon]

Scavo,

You can omit 'that' after 'sorry' (and this makes the sentence just a little more informal), but we wouldn't normally omit it after "I feel terrible".