IELTS Writing Task 2: correct the mistakes

The following sentences come from comments below last week's lesson. Can you correct the mistakes or rewrite and improve each sentence?

1. Women play an increasingly important role than ever in raising the family.
2. Firstly, female nowadays are highly educated than ever before.
3. With the changing trend of lifestyle, parenting is amongst the one that has significantly rehabilitated.
4. I personally believe that it is far beneficial to family and society in number of aspects.
5. Do you really think that sitting at home husband is looking after children, cooking and cleaning rooms, while his wife is at work?

I'll put my suggestions in the 'comments' area tomorrow, and I'll write my full essay about this topic for next week.

Comments

[hi]

1.Women play an increasingly important role than earlier in raising the family.
2.Firstly,nowadays, female are highly educated than before.
3.With the changing the trend of lifestyle, parenting is amongt the one that has significantly rehabilitated.
4.I personally believe that it is far beneficial to family and society in number of aspects.
5.Do you really think that sitting husband at home taking care of children, cooking and cleaning rooms, while his wife working ?

[NEE]

1. Women play increasingly an important role in raising their families than ever before.
2. Firstly, nowadays females are highly educated than ever before.
3. Lifestyle is changing significantly and parenting is one of that which has changed positively.
4. I personally believe that it has many positive effects on families and societies.
5. Do you really think that while wife is at work, her husband is looking after children, cooking and cleaning rooms?

[Kelly Thu]

1. More women play an important role than ever in raising their family.
2. Firstly, more female nowadays are highly educated than ever before
3. With the wider changes in lifestyle,the role of men and women in taking care of their children is being reversed
4. I personally believe that it is far beneficial to society in general and family in particular in a number of aspects
5. do you really think that men have a tendency to stay at home in order to look after their children or to cook and to clean rooms while their wives go out to work.

[Aria]

Women play an increasingly important role in raising of the family than ever before .

Firstly, female nowadays are more educated than ever before.

With changing trends on lifestyle, parenting is amongst the tasks/ones that has significantly rehabilitated.

I personally believe that it is more beneficial for both families and society for some reasons.

Do you really think that a househusband is looking after children, cooking and cleaning rooms, while his wife is at work?
( I do not think putting an interrogative sentence in a writing which ask us expression of an opinion is a good idea)

[Aria]

In regard to the example number 5 at this "correct the mistake", I do not believe that it is proper to use present continuous in such situation.
I would be grateful if Simon could explain a little more about this choice of tense, as there are numerous examples of this practice in mine and other non-English speakers writings.

Can we say?

" it is difficult to say whether a man at home really looks after children, cooks or cleans the house while his wife is at work.

[paul]

HaHa Simon

I am so proud of my lucky sentences being selected by you to have them corrected. Frankly speaking , I can't figure them out what's wrong on those sentences.

[Nadia]

1-Women play an increasingly important role than ever in raising their families
2-Firstly.Nowadays , the females are highly educated than before
3-By changing the trend of lifestyle , parenting is the most one that has significantly rehabilitated
4-I personally believe that it is far beneficial to family and society in number of aspects
5-Do you really think that husband should sitting at the home ,taking care of his children, cooking and cleaning room, while his wife is at the work ?

[bottles]

Women play an increasingly important role in raising the family.
Firstly, female citizens nowadays are highly educated than before.
With the changing trend of lifestyle, parental teaching has been significantly changed.
I personally believe that it is beneficial to family and society in numbers of aspects.
Do you really think that house husband will be looking after children, cooking and cleaning rooms, while his wife is at work?

[rozi]

Hi all

I have ielts test in next Saturday and there is just 2 days left to my exam.
I have studied for 2 month, and I am really nervous now, because I can not do my tests like the time that I was studying.

Is it common? should I study in these two days or take tests at home?

[la violette]

1-women play an increasingly important role in raising up their children
2- Firstly, nowadays females are more educated than they are before a decade
3- Changing of the lifestyle leads to parenting significant rehablitation
4- personally, I believe that this is by far beneficial for the family and the society in a number of aspects
5- Do you think that a husband should stay at home taking care of children, cooking and cleaning rooms while his wife is at work ?

[Yolanda]

1. Women play an important role in raising up of children.

2. Firstly, females nowadays are highly educated than ever before.

3. Trend change of lifestyle, the parenting has significantly rehabilitated.

4. I personally believe that it is far beneficial to family and society in several aspects.

5. Do you really think that a husband is looking after children, cooking and cleaning rooms, while his wife is at work?

[Yolanda]

3. According to lifestyle change trend, the parenting has significantly rehabilitated.

[looooo]

1- Women play an increasingly important role in raising their family than ever before/

2- Firstly, currently female are highly educated than before.

3- with the changing lifestyle, parenting is the most one that is significantly rehabilitated.

4- personally, i believe that it is highly beneficial to family and society in many aspects.

5- Do you really think that while mother at work, her husband will look after children, cook and clean rooms?

Good luck for your exam rozi

i am not sure what is the best way but i advise you to be confident you will do well.. you can do trial exam at home in one day and rest in the second day.

all the best for you

[Ceres Vassoler]

1- Women play an increasingly important role in raising their families than ever.

2 - Nowadays, women are more educated than ever.
Firstly, women are highly educated as never before.

3 - (I can't understand the meaning of this sentence!) With the changing trend of lifestyle, parenting is amongst the one that has significantly rehabilitated.

4 - I personally believe that in many aspects it is far beneficial to families and society in general.

5- Do you really think that a husband is going to look after children, cook and clean rooms while his wife is at work?

[Lindy]

-Women play an increasingly important role MORE than ever in raising the family.
-Firstly, female nowadays are MORE highly educated than ever before.
-With the changing trend of lifestyle, parenting is amongst PEOPLE that has significantly rehabilitated.
-I personally believe that it is far beneficial FOR family and society in number of aspects.
-Do you really think that HUSBAND IS SITTING AT HOME FOR looking after children, cooking and cleaning rooms, while his wife is at work?

[MO]

These are just some few sentences I can think of and I hope its correct

Women portrayed an increasingly important role in raising a family.
In raising a family, women plays an increasingly important role.
Increasingly, women plays an important role in the family.

Female are highly educated nowadays than before.
Nowadays, female are highly educated than few years ago.

Parenting has significantly rehabilated despite the changes of lifestyle.
Despite with the new trends and changes in lifestyle, parenting has significantly rehabilated.

In my opinion, there are several aspects that is more beneficial to families and society.

Do you really think that a husband can look after their children and do the household chores while his wife is at work?
Can a husband look after their children and do the chores while the wife is away?

[Monir]

Hi Simon,

can you pls write a sample answer on the topic of "vaccination". i mean whether vaccination is parents choice or state's regulation.

[Thuy hoang]

1.Womwen play a significantly pivotal role than ever in building up the family.
2. First and foremost, presently female are providing a driving force to access to high qualified education system.
3. Along with modern lifestyle which is changing day by day, childcare is becoming one of great factors that would be rehabilitated.
4.I individually voice that it is far advantegous to both each family units and the general public in number of standpoints.
5.In another hand,some people are raising judgment that it wouldn't be absolutely factual if husband is taking responsibility for looking after children as well as undertaking chore work whilst his wife is making money for a living

[Sandeep Sharma]

1. Woman plays an important role in raising the family than before.
2. nowadays , Female are highly educated than before.
3. Parenting is the one the significant rehabilition with the changing trend in lifestyle.
4. I personally believe that it is much beneficial to family and society.
5. Do you really think that Husband sitting at home looking after children, cooking and cleaning room, while his wife is at work?

[good]

correct :
1.women play an important role increasingly than ever in raising their families.
2.Firstly, nowadays, female is hightly educated than before .
4.I personally believe that it is far more beneficial to family and society in a number of aspects.
5.Do you believe /Are you think....
above I only figure out some mistakes then cross out them

[Thuan]

Women are playing an increasingly important role than ever in raising the family.
Firstly, female nowadays are highly educated than before.
With the changing trend of lifestyle, parenting is among the one that has significantly rehabilitated.
I personally believe that it is far beneficial to family and society in several aspects.
Do you really think that staying at home husband is looking after children, cooking and cleaning rooms while his wife is at work?

[nguyen ngoc]

1. Women play an increasingly important role in raising the family.
2. Firstly, female nowadays are more highly educated than ever before.
3. Among the changing trend of lifestyle, parenting is the one that has significantly rehabilitated.
4. I personally believe that it is more beneficial to family and society in all aspects. 5. Do you really think that husband staying at home is looking after children, cooking and cleaning rooms, while his wife is at work.

[paul]

Hi, Simon

Please give correct sentences for us now ,thanks

Best Regards

[Eunjoo Lee]

Hello Simon!
Today, I am glad to see you and your website for the first time.

1. Women play increasingly important roles than ever in raising their families.

2. Firstly, females are educated more higly than ever before.

3. With changing trend of lifestyle, parenting is one among what has rehabilitated significantly.

4. I believe personally that it is far beneficial to families and society in a large number of aspects.

5. Do you really think that a husband sitting at home is looking after his children, cooking and cleaning rooms while his wife is at work?

[herry]

1. Women play a bigger role than ever in raising the family
2. Firstly, nowadays more female are highly educated than ever.
3. As a result of the changing trend of lifestyle, parenting is the one most important thing that has significantly rehabilitated.
4. I personally believe that it is more beneficial to family and society in a number of aspects.
5. Do you really think it is good that stay-at-home husband who looking after children, cooking and cleaning rooms, while his wife is at work?

[Son Vu]

1. Women are increasingly playing a more important role than before in raising (their) families.
2. Firstly, female nowadays is highly educated than before.
3. With the change in lifestyle, parenting is amongst the oneS that HAVE significantly rehabilitated.
4. I personally believe that it is far beneficial to family and society in a number of aspects.
5. Do you really think that stay-at-home husbands look after children, cook and clean rooms while his wife is at work?

[Simon]

ANSWERS FROM SIMON:

First, here are the problems:

1. You can't say "increasingly than". We need to write "more than".

2. Similar to number 1 above: you can't say "highly than" with out the word "more". We also need the plural "females".

3. "Rehabilitated" doesn't make sense here. This sentence needs to be rewritten in a different way.

4. We can't write "far beneficial" or "in number of aspects".

5. Don't ask questions in your essay!

[Simon]

FROM SIMON:

Here are my suggestions for correct and improved sentences:

1. Women play a MORE important role than ever in raising the family.

2. Firstly, females nowadays are BETTER educated than ever before.

3. The role of parents has been affected by wider changes in society.

4. I personally believe that these changes are beneficial to families and society in a number of ways.

5. I do not believe that many husbands are happy to stay at home, do the cooking, and look after the children while their wives are at work.

[Tuan from Vietnam]

Dear Simon,

Thank you so much for your useful lesson. It helps students like me too much.
I'm really looking forward exciting other ones from you.

[Son Vu]

Hello Simon. Thank you for the answers. I just wondered about one thing from one of your answers.

In this sentence "Women play a MORE important role than ever in raising the family"

Why is it that " the family" is used? Can it be (their) families since the subject is "Women" which is a plural.
Thanks

[looooo]

thank you very much simon, i used to say (highly ..than) too much during my speaking and i don't know that its wrong, thank you again for your useful lessons.

[ielts writing]

Thank you for everything simon
You're the best
Wish you health and happy life

[Sen]

Dear Simon,

This is IELTS writing task II in Vietnam on Feb, 21st, 2015, which I found confusing. Please discuss.
Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attentions to the public. Others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Regards,
Sen

[Simon]

Son Vu,

Yes, I would probably prefer to write "their families". Well noticed.

[Son Vu]

Hello Simon,

Thank you for your reply. Much appreciated !

[Monir]

"money cannot buy happiness" it is often claimed. but with money you can buy most of the things for happiness: good good,accomodation,entertainment,travel quality health care etc. No wonder most people want to make as much money as possible. Do you agree or disagree?

Here is my introduction---

It isoften argued that money is needed if one wants to be happy. although one cannot deny the necessity of money but i believe if someone only run after for money that will not bring him happiness.

*****pls rate me. is it ok?

[Viet Dao]

1.Women increasingly play an important role in raising the family than ever.

2.First, nowadays female are highly educated than before (ever).

3.With changing the trend of lifestyle, parents is among the one that has significantly rehabilitated.

4.I personally believe that it is far beneficial to family and society in number of aspects.

5.Do you really think that husband sitting at home is looking after children , cooking and cleaning the room while his wife is at work.

[Emily]

1.Women plat an increasingly important role in raising the family.
2. Firstly, females nowadays are more highly educated than ever before.
3.With the changing trend of lifestyle, parenting has significantly rehabilitated.
4.I personally believe that it is far beneficial to family and society in a number of aspects.
5.Do you really think that husband sitting at home is looking after children, cooking and cleaning rooms, while his wife is at work?

[Tuong Vy]

Hi Simon,

I rewrite 4,5 follow by my idea.Please let me know it is correct:
4.Personally I believe that these changes are beneficial to families and positive impact of society in a number of ways
5.Do you really think that husbands who ready replace the role of his wife do housework, while their partner are at work

[Riyan]

Dear Simon,
Regarding of recent GT Task2 discussion n opinion question of higher salary or good working atmosphere. I wrote both advantages as well as,on my opinion I mentioned equaly important .im wondering if I'm wrong to write that way.thank you so much for your kind help in advance.

[amit]

kiiii

[Adam]

Thanks

[Keddie Z.]

Women play more important role than ever on raising families.

Firstly, females nowadays are better educated than ever before.

The role of parents has been affected by wider changes in society.

I personally believe that it is greatly beneficial to family and society in many aspects.

I don't believe that husbands are willing to stay at home, looking after children, cooking and cleaning rooms, while their wives work outside.

[Michelle Yang]

1. Women play a more important role than ever in raising the family.
2. Firstly, female nowadays are more educated than ever before.
3. With the changing trend of lifestyle, parenting is amongst the ones that have significantly rehabilitated.
4. I personally believe that it is far beneficial to family and society in a number of aspects.
5. Staying at home， husbands are less likely to look after children, cook and clean rooms, while their wives are at work。

[LIZ]

Salam dadash