IELTS Writing Task 2: 'family' essay skeleton

Let's try writing an essay 'skeleton' for one of the questions in last week's lesson. Here's the question again:

These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Here's my sample essay skeleton. Try writing your own!

Introduction
It is true that men are increasingly likely to take on the role of househusband, while more women than ever are the breadwinners in their families. There could be several reasons for this, and I consider it to be a very positive trend.

Main body 1, topic sentence
In recent years, parents have had to adapt to various changes in our societies.

Main body 2, topic sentence
In my view, the changes described above should be seen as progress.

Conclusion
In conclusion, the changing roles of men and women in the family are a result of wider changes in society, and I believe that these developments are desirable.

Comments

[paul]

Appreciate for any comments
=======================================
It is true that nowadays men spend much more time to look after their kids while in return women play an increasingly important role than ever in raising the family. While there are a range of reasons behind this, I completely believe it is a positive sign.

In my opinion, there are three major reasons for the change of role in supporting family and taking care of children between male and female. Firstly, female nowadays are highly educated than ever before, they are capable of doing nearly everything as male do. Sometimes, their working performance in some fields are much better than male’s. For example, in hospital, more female nurses are recruited due to the fact the female tend to more patient and carefulness in looking after patients. Secondly, female can be paid less to achieve the same or even better outcomes than male in workplace, which further leads to men out of work to look after their baby at home.

On the other hand, positive sign can be noticed by the transformation of role between man and woman. It is generally believed that kids prone to vulnerable and affection when staying with mothers, However, By staying with fathers, kids tend to have much strong will in overcome difficulties and are able to solve their problems independently, which will help them greatly when they grow up in facing challenge in their adult life.

In conclusion, the change in role presents benefits on both kids and companies or societies, therefore, it is no doubt that this change will be positive.

[farzana]

its really helpful. its goes without saying that its an buzz writing issues.
Thanks

[Dr.Mohammed Maaroof]

Hi simon,
Thank you for your unbelievable help,which guide students successfully.
I used to write 3 body paragraphs that explain in the 1st 2 the strongest opinion ,then keep the 3rd for either opposite or weak opinion;usually called concession or limitation,and this is the trend of an online course I already join it lastly.
My question for you as an examiner:- If you find this style of answering task 2 formative,you will mark the student positively.
Dr.Mohammed Maaroof.

[Reza.tr]

Hi Peter,

Good essay, tried to cover all questions, used good language, but need to elaborate more on 3rd paragraph. Here is some comments, hope to be useful.

It is true that nowadays men spend much more time to look after their kids while in return women play an increasingly important role than ever in(supporting) raising the family. While there are a range of reasons behind this, I completely believe (that)it is a positive sign

female nowadays are highly educated than ever before(more educated)

female tend to more patient and carefulness in looking after patients.(tend to + be + adjective)

and where is your 3rd reason??

It is generally believed that kids prone to vulnerable and affection when staying with mothers??? I cant catch your mean.

regards

[Tim]

Dear teacher
It's great to see your essay's skeleton! Thank you
Sir, would you please kindly share your two main paragraphs as well.

Looking forward to see your rest of the essay.

Yours sincerely

[Jing]

Dear Simon,

Thank you very much for the skeleton of this essay. Please could you give a couple of key points in the two main body paragraphs?

I wonder if the changing attitude towards househusband in our society does count as one reason in this essay? Therefore more fathers are willing to take care of their children at home while their partners provide sufficient financial supports to the family.

I read Ieltsbuddy's essay and think it is very good with concrete content. However, this makes me think what age group of children we are considering in this essay? My first thought when I see this essay title is about young children because school children do not require a full time carer to look after them at home.

Any suggestions will be much appreciated.

Thank you

[Lana said]

Please SImon write the whole essay by your self .
Thank u

[madiha]

With the changing trend of lifestyle, parenting is amongst the one that has significantly rehabilitated. It is nowadays common in families where mothers are breadwinners for the family and their role is played by the father in upbringing children. There are several reasons of this transformation and I believe it has positive consequences for the whole family.

There are various causes of fathers staying at home and nurturing their kids. Firstly, women in the modern society are offered higher salaries due to gender equality based on their higher qualifications, as compared to men. This truly benefits the family and switching the job is wiser rather than limiting the basic expenses in routine. Secondly, independence of women in this culture has helped her in dealing the outside matters more efficiently and patiently instead of being aggressive like men.

Considering the above explanation, I believe this new trend is actually creating a profound influence not only in the societies but among the families as well. By doing the household activities and looking after children, men can realize the arduous job of his wife that can make him more respectable towards her. This leads to a strong relationship among them that positively affects the children as well. Learning each other tasks is yet another progressive factor that arises by exchange of jobs. For instance, in countries like Australia and America switching jobs of mother and father is common and thus, it is helping them to cope with the situation where one has to stay home and the other need to work out.

In conclusion, the changing roles of men and women in the family are a result of wider changes in society, and I believe that these developments are desirable.

[madiha]

can i get band 7 as i wrote above?

[George Andrews]

In the recent times, an increasing(growing) number of men stay(remain) at home and care for(look after)their children, whereas(while) women engage(are involved) in fulltime jobs and earn for the families. A number of factors have led to this situation, and, this trend, in my opinion, is greatly desirable(acceptable).

One of the major reasons for this shift(change) in gender roles is the unemployment of many men especially due to frequent occurances of conomic recession in many parts of the world. This has resulted in many men staying(remaining) at home and providing for the needs of their children, while women continue to earn for the family. For example, the dot-com industry suffered(experienced) a major meltdown(recession/collapse) in the United States a decade ago and the majority of employees who were laid off were men. It was not easy for them to find an alternative employments and many of them stayed at home and looked after their kids.

The rise in women's earning power, is another factor, that has led to this situation. This would mean that many women draw(earn) bigger salaries than men and it is often more reasonable(logical) for them to save(avoid) the expenses of babysitting than going for a job. For instance, women who work as business executives, doctors and lawyers usually earn huge(enormous) salaries, whereas their husbands may not be well-paid. If they have two or three kids, it is financially more viable for their husbands to look after their children at home than spending on a nanny.

On the other hand, many people think that men are forced to become homemakers mostly due to economic reasons and therefore their self-esteem can be affected. Nonetheless, it is increasingly being considered as a positive development by majority of people because it has helped to rectify conventional attitudes and raise women's morale(self-esteem). Moreover, children would be more comfortable being cared by their father than a nanny.

In conclusion, it is mostly economic reasons that has led to the recent increase in the number of male homemakers. It definitely has greater advantages for the society and therefore should be appreciated.

[George Andrews]

Would you be interested in giving me a score?

[Mehrunisa]

Hi thr I'm appearing in ielts today if any body from middleast has appeared in ielts today plz do share writing task 2 topic.thanks in advance

[Dr Khurram]

Thanks ur guidance is our asset.

[Yao]

In recent years, parents have had to adapt to various changes in our societies. For example, with the development of social progress, more women can get access to the same education opportunities as males could in the past, which allows them to gain their competitive edge over their males counterparts in today's job market with the knowledge they learn and qualifications they get at school. Meanwhile, better gender equality at the workplace also makes it possible for more women to hold a higher position than their husband and earn a decent salary to raise their family. Therefore, it is not surprising to see more stay-at-home husbands while their wives work outside to be the breadwinners.

[Jay Patel]

It is undeniable that all over the world, men are taking household responsibilities including looking after children from women due to several reasons. While this phenomenon has some drawbacks, I personally believe that it is far beneficial to family and society in number of aspects.

There are mainly three reasons that men are increasingly taking household activities. First of all, there are more women who take proper education and therefore they are skilled like never before. As a result, they are perfectly filling the requirements of skilled personals in modern economy which is highly competitive and based on performance. Secondly, there are plenty of new professions such as human resource management, employee recruitment, teaching, health and hospitality which are primarily driven by women. These fields generate lots of opportunities to female candidates therefore women participation in modern economy is significant. Finally society nowadays treats women more equally and there is no shame to be househusband upbringing children and cooking for the whole family while wife supports financially.

This change of trend has several benefits to the family and society. Change of role gives both partners an understanding of how difficult other partner’s role is. As a result they value each other which bring them closer. Additionally, both partners get acquainted with range of tasks and therefore ready to face any extreme conditions in the life. Such couples are seen happy and their family life is found well balanced. Furthermore, there is always a scope to get back to the traditional professions of man and woman if they feel bored and seeking a change.

In conclusion, although swap of responsibilities between men and women is still on progression with the slow but steady change in attitude, the benefits of this change would be effect society in positive way.

[Hoan]

Dear teacher,
Could you please take a look at this piece? I've attempted to complete 2 paragraphs.

Modern families are witnessing an increasing number of male housemaids and female breadwinners. The reasons behind this new trend are immense, yet this piece of writing concerns the two most significant, namely gender equality and personal choices.

First and foremost, with gender equality being ubiquitous, the customary family roles are fading away. Thanks to the equality, that women may acquire higher education levels provides them more chances to get an ideal job than ever. Thus the traditional male-only professions such as politicians and scientists are nows obtained by more and more women. Moreover, employers often prefer women for some factors, such as industriousness, a good quality which is often given to females.

[Simon]

FROM SIMON:

Of course, the skeleton is only one aspect of the essay. To put some 'muscle' on the skeleton, we need good ideas for the main body paragraphs. Try brainstorming and planning for these paragraphs before you write anything.

[Dar Dar]

Muscles for the body paragraph
Reasons:
1. changing attitude towards women in today's society. 21st century's ladies have greater access to educational and professional opportunities which in turn leads women to achieve higher degrees or qualification and therefore, could secure highly paid job positions.
2. Changes in the nature of jobs in this modern world where there are muh more advances in technology than we had in the past. For example, with the popularity of ' work from home' opportunities, thanks to the availability of the Internet and computers, most men have choices to stay at home while their counterparts remain in their employment.
Positive trend:
1.Men can be fully involved in parenting with their unique characteristics such as decision making, strict discipline and assertiveness. These skills, in combination with females' intrinsic qualities of patience and compassion, there will be a perfect upbringing for a child in such family. This benefit might not be seen in a traditional parenting where men work long hours with no sufficient family time.
2. Another advantage of men's participation at home is that it could create a harmonious family. Working women usually do domestic jobs and share their free time with children, whereas most working men, if they work out for long hours, do not usually contribute to household chores and childcare.

[Alicia]

Dear Simon,

From the topic sentence you have written about the third paragraph, I think the "various changes" you mean are the ones you wrote in second paragraph. I am confused because I think the "development" in the question means the trend that men and women have changed their roles in the family.

I make that conclusion because the question said " IS IT A negative or positive development".

I hope you can help me solve out my confusion. Thank you.

[Simon]

Hi Alicia,

I see what you mean. However, I would definitely make it clear that the 'changes' refer to changing parental roles CAUSED by wider changes.

I hope this helps.

[boburShox]

you are just awesome, dar dar

[Mary]

It is true that modern families become more feminized and wives often play the role of breadwinners, while husbands dedicate themselves to upbringing of their children. However, I would not claim that it is a positive trend of our society.

There are several reasons forcing men to stay at home as babysitters. The first factor is constantly growing unemployment rate, which make the competition on the labor market higher from year to year. The men usually pretend to get prestigious and well-paid job, and they easy get upset and depressed after several unsuccessful attempts, as rejection hits their vulnerable self-esteem. In contrast, females are more patient and more flexible in their choice of position. These temperamental qualities allow women to insist in seeking the job and they never give up quickly. Secondly, the majority of men are lethargic and even a little bit lazy in their nature, so they prefer to stay somewhere in the middle of their career, rather than to work hard and get valuable qualifications. The evidence of better girl’s test results is clear in secondary school, and I have some doubts that boy’s situation would change dramatically during their higher education. As result, women end up getting higher qualification and more powerful position by their relentless perseverance and application, that gives certain financial benefits to their families. So, when the question of baby care is raised, the less successful husband most likely stays at home to breed his children.

However, the feminization of society is not necessary beneficial for females. On the one side, woman definitely become more independent receiving certain respect and freedom. But, simultaneously, they deliberately put the double burden on their fragile shoulders. Do you really think that sitting at home husband is looking after children, cooking and cleaning rooms, while his wife is at work? It is just an illusion. Most likely, he is watching TV from morning till night leaving dirty dish in the sink and hating all people around for his own mistakes. Eventually, tired to death wife have to tidy up house, wash dishes and even cook for tomorrow for her helpless family. I would say, these families are waiting for divorce as soon as patience of the “superwife” will over. Even unprofessional housemaid will look after children and household better than desperate husband. The best variant of employment for young mother is a part-time job there she can communicate with colleagues and just have some rest from the house chores.

In conclusion, staying with children father is quite often but negative trend of modern society. In my view, the man should keep playing his main role of breadwinner and set right example for his children.

[Traveler]

Mary, your essay seems factual!

[Traveler]

An essay in favour of this argument.

It is certainly true that increasingly men are choosing to stay at home, while women go out to work. There are several reasons for this reversal of gender roles, and I egard it as a positive trend.

There are two main reasons for this shift in roles of men and women. Firstly, women are getting equal chances to gain education and work alongside men; they are becoming more independent and want to pursue their careers. This in turn has led men to make several compromises in order to allow their female partners to achieve their ambitions. Secondly, according to an employment survey a significant number of men lost their jobs in the recession, and many men could not find employment again or they are out of work simply because it does not make financial sense to them if their spouse is earning a high salary.

However, in my opinion this change in behaviors is a positive development. According to recent statistics, women make up more than half of the world's population today. So their presence in workforce is strengthening countries' economies, as is the case in many rich countries. In addition, it is creating more harmony and understanding between spouses, as it enables them to appreciate and realize the hardships of the other gender. Furthermore, a study has suggested that children who are raised in the company of their fathers they are more confident, independent and disciplined than those who are nurtured by their mothers only, while their fathers spent most time at work so could not contribute much time for upbringing their children.

In conclusion, this development has been brought about by many factors, and it is bringing many desirable effects in society. It's a sign of enlightenment and evolution of human civilisation.

[Traveler]

Hi all, I've written two essays agsinst this argument and don't know which one fits well with the task response. Can any kindhearted person plz suggest which one will do better for the task achievement- thanks in anticipation.

Essay number one:
It is no doubt true that increasingly women are getting into work, while men are taking the role of househusbands and look after their kids. There could be several reasons for the reversal of gender roles. I believe, although this trend has brought some positive changes in society, overall it is counterproductive.

There are two main reasons for this shift in roles of men and women. Firstly, women are getting equal chances to gain education and work alongside men; they are becoming more independent and want to pursue their careers. Secondly, according to an employment survey a significant number of men lost their jobs in the recession, and many men could not find employment again or they are out of work simply because it does not make financial sense to them if their spouse is earning a high salary.

I would argue that this swing in attitudes has more negative than positive aspects. According to recent statistics, women make up more than half of the world's population today. So their presence in workforce is strengthening countries' economies, as is the case in many rich countries. However, this has led to immense scarcity of employment opportunities for men. As a result, men are forced to stay out of work and in worse cases some of them are getting involved in many criminal activities and becoming part of gangs.

In conclusion, evolving modernisation has shaken many myths and orthodox beliefs to regard women with inferior intellect than men and has brought prosperity into our lives. However, I consider it a negative change.

[Traveler]

Essay number 2 against the argument:

It is no doubt true that increasingly women are getting into work, while men are taking the role of househusbands and look after their kids. There could be several reasons for the reversal of gender roles. I believe, although this trend has brought some positive changes in society, overall it is counterproductive.

There are two main reasons for this shift in roles of men and women. Firstly, women are getting equal chances to gain education and work alongside men; they are becoming more independent and want to pursue their careers. This in turn has led to immense scarcity of employment opportunities for men. Secondly, according to an employment survey a significant number of men lost their jobs in the recession, and many men could not find employment again or they are out of work simply because it does not make financial sense to them if their spouse is earning a high salary.

I would argue that this swing in attitudes has more negative than positive aspects. According to recent statistics, women make up more than half of the total world's population. So their presence in workforce is strengthening countries' economies, as is the case in many rich countries. However, I would strongly contest against men exploiting women by deluding them in the name of freedom and feminism. It does not give men the ultimate right to remain idle and spend their energies pursuing leisure activities, while their female counterparts bear all the financial strains. Also, it has been seen that men become violent and aggressive if they are not engaged in some useful and productive activities.

In conclusion, evolving modernisation has shaken many myths and orthodox beliefs to regard women with inferior intellect than men and has brought prosperity into our lives. However, men making it an excuse to force women to stretch their abilities would eventually ruin the system that the mother nature has designed for the mankind.

[Traveler]

Note: The essay which I've written in the favor of this argument, I'd like to dedicate it to Sir Simon! ... Thanks

[Mary]

Traveler,

We are supposed to write according to our own experience, aren't we? :)

[Ali]

Can you all tell me the mistakes you see in my writing? Any thing? Simon? Can you please?

The modern lifestyle has forced all parents to work to be able to provide for their children. Meantime, there is an argument whether it is better for children to be taken care of by other family members or to be cared for at childcare centres. Hereby, I will discuss both views and reach a reasoned conclusion.
One option is to trust other family members with our children. One of the blessings of this idea is that we trust in our family’s love for our minors and we can be sure that our kids are under full-time affectionate supervision. However, there can be some detrimental aspects to this; one of which is: Our family members may not be qualified and trained in psychology or teaching and their style of childcare might not be psychologically supported. For example, my two-year-old niece is being taken care of by my parents. She is receiving extreme love and attention and one could say, she is spoiled and not brought up very wisely.
The other option is to leave our children at childcare facilities while at work. One of the biggest concerns with this choice is that, our loved-ones might not receive focused attention as there are numerous kids at the centre. Nevertheless, it must be admitted that our children will be under supervision of highly educated and experienced professional who would know many psychological tricks and would have solid knowledge of health care and mental health of children. For example, the early child-hood teachers would know how to diagnose dyslexia or autism at early ages.
In conclusion although there are numerous convincing arguments on both sides, I believe childcare facilities could face all the criteria of taking our children the best like nowhere else and I hope working parents take the above statements into their consideration.

[Traveler]

Hi Mary, although I agree exceptions are always there!! the way you have described the general situation on the topic in your 3rd para is amazing! I'm impressed. Thanks for sharing your lovely essay :)

[akmal]

Dear Simon,

If we write an essay of 200 word, how many points will the examiners take as penalty?? 1 or 0.5?

[Bruce]

Please comment
------

In recent years, parents have had to adapt to various changes in our societies. One is that women's role is equally balanced with men's, particularly at workplace. As a result, the father in some families may choose to do housework and child care to support his wife who is busy in the office. This is a significant social role swap. Another major reason is legislation has been improved in the way that facilitates the new role of the husband at home. There are, for instance, government allowances given to those househusbands. This is to encourage men to further involve in family routine chores and shared understanding with their partner, as well as enhancing fatherhood in children upbringing.

In my view, this is definitely a sign of well-balanced family model to be popularized. On the one hand, women have a chance of developing their potentials and career path that they might have been dreaming of. Many women have actually achieved massive success in their profession which would not be possible without their husband's patience and assistance at home. One brilliant example is the current Prime Minister of Germany. On the other hand, father's role in raising children is also vital to both children's mental and physical development. Naturally in their early life, children have had mother's continual care. It would be ideal if they could take on more lessons and love from the father in the family. In addition, researches showed that those families of househusband and working wife are usually more stable and happier and the children of these families are well-adjusted.

(262 words)

Kind regards,
Bruce

[Abdullah]

Hi BRUCE..... It's.. POTENTIAL* ..it is an un count noun, it remains potential* even in the pleural form.

[roholla]

This is my introduction, I will be happy for some feedback from anyone.

Since the evolution of societies and cultures, women activities have been restricted to inside housed to raise children, cook and clean while their husbands have been outside hunting and working. However, this trend is no longer true as nowadays, increasing number of females have outdoor type of jobs and careers and more fathers are involved in household chores. The change is mainly because of gender equality, more freedom of women and their higher education levels in the modern world.

[roholla]

@Mary, here I think I've found few mistakes:

The men usually pretend to get prestigious and well-paid jobS, and they easily get upset ...

girls' test results, boys' test ...

As a result,

qualificationS and more powerful positionS

[amac]

Comments will be appreciated for my own improvement. Thanks a lot:)
___________________________________________

It is true that nowadays there is a shift of roles between the father and mother when it comes in parenting of children. The known head of the family which is the father is tend to stay home to take good care and watch over the children while the mother is out to work and support the family needs. There could be several reasons for this metamorphosis and I believed this is desirable.

The reasons behind this that could be seen and considered are firstly, it is apparent that in our society at present times, both man and women are seen to be equal as the later in this new generation can already done what the former can does in terms of job. Secondly, the upsurge of job among women nowadays gives them more chances to be hired as compared to man. For instance, there are more nursing job abroad offered to women than to men hence, greater chances for women to win this opportunity abroad. And finally, the increasing demands of the daily cost of living have also seen as one of among reasons of changing of roles. It is obvious that the old days have finally gone as the fathers have lost their pride of being the head must be financier of the family. As both parents have already understood the need to have a job to support the family therefore, who ever got hired first with a reasonable salary will take their chances in order for them to live the family.

On the other hand, the father being at home upbringing the children also entails positive effects. Children who raised with father's supervision have tend to be more discipline as they grow up because most of the time, father is more strict as compared to the mother in setting up rules among the children. Hence, children have more focus on their studies with less or limited distractions as more often than not, the father is very protective especially among their daughters in terms of having their relationships with opposite sex or having their clique. Moreover, children who grown up with patriarchal decision making and upbringing them at home have more stronger personality because it was generally known that man have more will power in whatever things they does.

In conclusion, the changing of responsibilities in terms of upbringing children and supporting the family financially for both the father and mother have seen to be positive for the children and for the family as a whole.

[Xuan Hien]

Hi Simon,
I wonder about the inclusion, which was written "the changing roles of men and women in the family are a result". why is not it "is a result"?

[Keddie Z.]

It is true that nowadays more and more men choose to be a house husband and women work outside to earn money to raise family. I think there are several reasons for this phenomenon and it brings out positive effects on the family and society.

As for me, the main reason for this trend is that there are several changes in our society.

In my opinion, this trend produces some benefits.

In conclusion, several changes in our society lead to changing roles of men and women, and I believe this trend benefit our society and families greatly.

[Durga]

Hi Simon,

Can you please tell the score what I can expect to this essay. Writing is my weak area.
No doubt that socio-economic trends and globalization has led to vast changes in lifestyle and financial status. Of course, it even interchanged the roles of parents, where mothers became the breadwinners and fathers taking care of their offspring. While there is a range of reasons behind this, I think it is completely a positive sign.
In my opinion, Firstly, the ratio of female literacy has grown tremendously than ever before, which eventually helped women to take up various roles in different industries since women exhibited leadership qualities. For example, back in centuries, we have read many stories about numerous women scholars, which laid a base to women power. Secondly, women are having a high level of patience than men in every area of employment. For example, we often see female nurses, Doctors, and Teachers. Most of the organizations prefer to hire female candidates due to above reasons. Finally, world recession created serious impact and which led to many layoffs, where management fired male employees since women are paid less than men.
Alternately, benchmarking done by to raise their children as successful citizens of the nation, and men trying to cope up with this. Stay-at-home father, helped in developing better family bonding, where the children used mother as a communication method with their father in past. Although, women are emotional and not capable of handling certain internal situations, where fathers can sort the difficulties by working in multi-dimensions and educating the kids in coping up with hardship and stress in future. On the top of it, men start respecting women and admit their dedication towards family after facing the real scenario of parenting.
To conclude, role change led to many positive benefits in social and personal front, therefore, it is no doubt that this is completely a positive change.