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June 25, 2015

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in terms of
age distribution by gender
a noticeably larger proportion of /a noticeably higher proportion of
had a significantly larger percentage
was more evenly distributed across
the equivalent figure
in every cohort from age 50 upwards
cohort syn:group

Dear Simon,

I found myself always being unable to grab the points in Writing Task 1 rather than Task 2. I just have no idea how to read those graphs, pie charts or diagrams. Could you please teach us some approach to this module?

Thank you.

James Z.

Thank you very much for the brilliant model essay, Simon

Each five-year age bracket,
Each five-year cohort,
...
I have been looking for these phrases for years.


bracket
syn: a particular range /grouping /category

too many words

too hard to know the diagram and explain

it's quite hard to think about some words and phrases but thank a lot, Simon.

hello simon
can you give us one lesson about how to compare percentages because i do not know how to write the sentences bellow.
LESS THAN 10% OF OIL RESOURCES ARE IN AFRICAN
OR FEWER THAN 10% OF OIL RESOURCES ARE IN AFRICA

ANOTHER EXAMPLE

CANADA OIL RESOURCES ARE FEWER THAN 14% IN THE WORLD.
OR CANADA OIL RESOURCES ARE LESS THAN 14% IN THE WORLD

EVERYBODY ELSE IS WELCOME TO ANSWER MY QUESTIONS
THANKS OUR HERO .

Hi Simon

I wonder about paragraph 3, in this sentence :
Somewhere between 10% and 15% of all French people were aged 70 or older, but the equivalent figure for India was only 2%.

Why 10 and 15%, there is not any group of age in France which reach to 10%, always less than 10%.
Could you explain to me somewhere is where?

Thanks Simon. Much appreciated your help.

@ Meo - If you count from 70 to 85 age group, it will come 10 to 15 % respectively.

@ NEE - Please correct me if I am wrong.

few is uncountable and less is countable.

@ Biks: Thank you. Understood that it's in total from 70 to 85 age group.

My introduction :

The 1984's population trends of France and India towards age distribution by gender were reflected clearly in two pyramid charts.

FROM SIMON:

A few points about my report, and some answers to comments above:

...

How I grouped the information:

In paragraph 3, I compared total percentages of men and women added together. In paragraph 4, I looked at figures for males and females separately.

...

Vocabulary:

I'm glad people noticed phrases like "age bracket", "five-year cohort", "evenly distributed across the age ranges" and "the equivalent figure".

...

Is it too long?:

I agree that my answer was a bit longer than necessary. Although there is no maximum word count (so there would be no effect on the score), I probably wouldn't be able to write this report in exam conditions. However, my aim here is to show you 'model' answers that teach you something, so I hope the report achieves this aim.

...

James Z,

It's not easy for me to fully explain my approach in one written lesson here on the blog. I think my video lessons are closer to what you are asking for - have a look at my task 1 videos here:

http://subscriptions.viddler.com/SimonCorcoran

...

Nee,

Here's a lesson about comparing percentages:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2013/01/ielts-writing-task-1-describing-percentages.html

...

Meo,

As Biks said (above), I added up all of the bars above age 70 on the French chart. Well noticed Biks!

The 1984's population trends of France and India towards age distribution by gender were reflected clearly in two contrasted pyramid charts.
Indian young people occupied a huger percentage than French ones. Meanwhile, there was a considerable development of elderly inhabitants in France.
Each five-year age group from 0 upwards, in India, decreased about 0.6-2% gradually to the peak of its pyramid.The retirement age from 55 for women and 60 for men represented in total around 9% which is not equivalent yet to approximately 14% of the children under age of 5.In France, the rate of 2 aged group was small different.
French females were incredibly higher than males from age of 50 upwards. It's not alarmed in India for this.

THANKS SIMON:
I HAD SEEN THAT LESSON BEFORE ASKING THAT QUESTION BUT IF YOU JUST ANSWER MY THAT SPECIFIC QUESTION I WILL BE GRATEFUL.

MY QUESTIONS AGAIN:

LESS THAN 10% OF OIL RESOURCES ARE IN AFRICAN
OR FEWER THAN 10% OF OIL RESOURCES ARE IN AFRICA

ANOTHER EXAMPLE

CANADA OIL RESOURCES ARE FEWER THAN 14% IN THE WORLD.
OR CANADA OIL RESOURCES ARE LESS THAN 14% IN THE WORLD

EVERYBODY ELSE IS WELCOME TO ANSWER MY QUESTIONS
THANKS OUR HERO .

hi guy
both sentences are correct
but useage :
less should only be used with uncountable things ( less money, less time).

few is used with words denoting people or countable things ( fewer members; fewer books).

comparative :
Less is normally used with numerals ( a score of less than 100), measurement or time ( less than two weeks; less than four miles away)
fewer is used if the things denoted by the number are seen as individual items or units ( there were fewer than ten candidates).
Dear simon, SJM or Dear all , above of explanation is ok?

13 July's result out!!
I have got 7.5( Reading 8.5, Listening 8.5, Writing 6.5, Speaking 7)
I m not really happy with my writing score ...do u guys think I should challenge?

hi mir, are lose mark with which one(task1 or task2 of writing?
can you let us know the topic :
Thanks

in terms of age distribution by gender
elderly inhabitants
aged 5 or under
each five-year age bracket above this
increasingly smaller proportion of the population
evenly distributed across the age ranges
each five-year cohort
Looking more closely at gender
higher proportion of French women than men
in every cohort from age 50 upwards
No significant gender differences can be seen on

@sun
Thanks, your answer looks perfect and logical but I need an approval of simon but unfortunately he does not have time for his poor student

Dear Simon. please help me to fix this essay and give me your advices. this is an essay on June 27th, 2015.

people today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. what are the causes? what are the solutions?

Modern life has posed a lot of challenges as well as more opportunities for us. Some people think that they do not feel safe when they go outside or even when they just stay at home. The purpose of this essay is to analyze the cause of this phenomenon as well as offer some possible measures to improve the situation.


To start with, there are surely several major reasons that lead to this trend. Firstly, people have experienced many disasters such as earthquake, tsunami. They are, therefore, worried although they live in their own houses. Especially, it is extremely hard to describe the feeling of people who live or work in the skyscraper if there are some earthquakes at that area. Japan can be taken as an example to illustrate this point, where people could see more frequently earthquakes or tsunamis each year. In addition, when people go outside, air pollution will cause many diseases which have negative influence their health. The fact shows that people who live in urban areas where the pollution is worse they are more likely gained many illnesses than people who live in countryside where they breathe with fresh air. Besides, social evils also make people feel worried whenever they go out their house. Moreover, food poisoning is processed in some restaurants that will threaten our health. More importantly, recent years has witnessed many traffic accidents of road system as well as air traffic. These accidents are really serious because it may end up killing us immediately.


As regards some solutions to this problem, the most feasible action is to invest more in infrastructure, improving the environment. For instance, the government should pour a lot of money for extending road system and public transportation which is the main cause that lead to traffic congestion and traffic accident. More trees should be planted to produce oxygen, protecting soil to avoid erosion and natural disasters. In addition, people must be equipped more knowledge and understanding of their responsibility for our society. In term of companies, they should invest more in waste treatment system instead of releasing untreated waste to the environment directly.

In conclusion, it is clear that there are various reasons for people who feel unsafe when they have to go outside or even they are at home, and the steps need to be taken to tackle this problem.

Hi Simon.

I just wanted to clear that in your sample answer at last paragraph you exemplified as "For example, almost 3% of French 70- to 75-year-olds were women, while just under 2% were men." I feel that not "3% of French 70- to 75-year-olds were women", but "3% of French people were 70- to 75-year-olds women".
Your comment about it would be very appreciated.
Thanks

Dear Simon
I just finished IELTS exams.
Could I ask something?
I had mistakes in Writing 1 which describe the number of people in birth rate and death rate per 1000 people, for example 20 people in 1800
However I wrote percentage after this number, like 20%.
Do I lose many score from this?

Hey there

I'd like to ask about video lessons. is a $8 charge for all purchasable videos or just for a certain video?

Thanks

Challanger

Dear Simon,
Hi,simon,I have a problem about writing task 1.I got some tips from you website ielts-siomn.com.Also I went through some model of writing task 1 perpared by examiner in Cambridge 4-9,I found a difference.you got four paragraph(intruduction---overview---detail 1---detail 2),but ,in Cambridge Books,the model answer all have "overall"paragraph,I want to ask you about this "overall"paragraph is vital?

Hi Simon,

Is it compulsory to have a conclusion for writing task 1? If yes, what we need to do in that conclusion.

Thank you so much and hope to hear from you soon.

I tried doing your technique on summarizing the trend from Cambridge IELTS 7. Can you tell me if this is correct?


It is clear that each country set aside a large portion of their money on meals, drinks and tobacco which was the first group, less than buying clothes and footwear as the second group, and the least proportion, was to studies and leisure activities as the third one. Overall, citizens of Turkey were the most popular consumers of foods, beverages and use of tobacco and were hailed as the top spenders on education and relaxation among other countries. At the same time, Italian residents enjoyed the most in clothing and footwear purchases.

Question: Is it alright if I use the first, second and third group in this paragraph with the succeeding paragraphs and use these terms instead of writing each item? I just thought of it because it seemed redundant to me.


thanks again Simon! you have a very informative site. i have been recommending your lessons to those who wanted to take the IELTS. It helped me achieve 7.0 in all subtests during my previous exams.

Simon Really thank you for this very great useful site......

Plz Simon is there a specified topics for writing and speaking?

Dear Simon,
what do you find for 10% 15% in this sentence?
"Somewhere between 10% and 15% of all French people were aged 70 or older, but the equivalent figure for India was only 2%."

Dear Simon,
I'm a bit confused now. Some people told me that I cannot use "'s" after a word wich is not human or at least alive, but I can see you used "France's". Can you explain a bit about this issue?
Thanks

Dear Simon,
I have a question about this part of your report: "France’s population, by contrast, was more evenly distributed across the age ranges, with similar figures (around 7% to 8% of all people) for each five-year cohort between the ages of 0 and 40"

In this report, you have written "by contrast", do you want to show the contradiction?

In these charts, I think ages of 0 and 40 only show the comparison, difference not contradiction.

Could you anwser this question? Thank you

The bar charts compare the percentage of male and female populations in France and India with respect to different age groups in 1984.

Overall, the number of men ad women were almost equal in all age groups represented in the graphs, except minor differences in the number of both genders in older ages in France. In addition, occupation of males and females in overall population declined as the population got older, excluding 40-45 year in France and 70+ age groups in India.

In France, the percentage of people in both gender remained steadily at almost 4% between 0-35 ages. However, after 35, the population in both sex started to drop gradually from 3% to as low as 0.5 % between middle and elderly age group. Besides, females outnumbered males in almost all different age categories from 45 to 85+ years old and above.

In India, on the other hand, there was a steady decrease in the percentage of both men and women population throughout the entire age span. While 7% of people are made up of male or female in new-born, the trend completely reversed for the most elderly people, whose percentage only occupied as low as 1 % for both gender.Finally, it should also be noted that the number of males and females were almost the same regardless of age.

this sample is goddamn good! absolutely a band 9 more than typical. seems lik Simon has sort of mysterious power to make every task become easy.

Hi Simon,
Can you please comment on this answer?

The two charts give information about the number of males and females with different age groups in two countries, namely, France and India in 1984.
As shown in both charts, it is clear that the number of males and females were obviously decreasing with aging in India. Meanwhile, the distribution was different in France.
Looking into the details, the male to female ratio in India was almost the same in all age groups, with 0-5 age group constituted the majority of the population accounting for almost 14%. This figure decreases significantly as people get older reaching about 2% in the 65-70 age group and slightly increased to less than 4% for those older than 70 years.
In contrast, the 0-5 age group in France accounted for 7% of the whole population and fluctuated around this figure until the age of 40, after which the number of males and females started to decrease slightly with age. Interesting thing is that the number of females living in France exceeded the number of males from the age of 50 and above.
One considerable difference between India and France is that in France people who lived more than 70 years were much more than Indian counterparts, accounting around 13% and 4% respectively.

The two diagrams illustrate the percentage distribution of man and woman at various age ranges in two countries in 1984.

Although the overall trends of the distribution regardless gender were decreasing for both France and India, it is remarkably noticeable that this trend was much faster in India with a much larger base of young people and children.

At the age of 0-5, while both males and females accounted for nearly 4% in France, these figures were almost 7% in India. The ratios remained roughly unchanged until age group of 30-35 in France. By contrast, with around half percent decrease by every five years, the ratio fell to 3.5% at age group of 30-35 in India.

The percentage decreased considerably to less than 3% when French people aged over 40. Meanwhile, older women were clearly more than older man at each age category in France. Indian man and woman became less and less when they grew older and older. The ratio was only 1% at age group of 65-70, which was only half of that number in France.


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