IELTS Writing Task 2: 'disagree' essay with both sides

Today I'm attaching my full essay for the 'newspapers' question that we've been looking at recently. My students here in Manchester helped me to write it, and I've included our essay plan too.

Click here to download the full essay and plan

Comments

[James Z.]

Great, Simon! It's wonderful to see your way of making a writing plan!

[Mohammed]

Hello. This eassy doesn't contain advanced vocabs . I didn't find much complex sentences. However, it is very convencing. What is the secret ?

[James Z.]

If any of you are still convinced that difficult words and complicated sentence structures are the key to a high score. Please have a look at the following lesson:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2015/11/ielts-writing-task-2-the-problem-with-difficult-language.html

[Raveen]

Hi,

I read through the essay, and I have a number of questions about it.

1. there are a few words repeating again and again(even, source)

2. I could not see any advanced vocabularies.

Does the essay can get band 9?

Thanks.

[James Z.]

Have a look at these links and pay attention to sjm's comments which can completely be trusted:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2015/04/ielts-advice-band-9-phrases-for-every-essay.html

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2012/11/ielts-band-9-continued.html

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2015/03/ielts-writing-task-2-parental-roles-essay.html

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2014/03/ielts-writing-task-2-independence-question.html

[Zahra b]

Hi Simon
I really don't know, can you tell me both sentences are true or not?!
It can be clearly seen that or it is clear?
Are there different meaning in sentence ?

[sunny]

thank you simon, for your co-operation.I used to obtain only band 5.5 but now i have seen improvement,band 6, in my writing due to visiting your blog

[summer]

I have a major problem with understanding of the task 2 question.
To take an example of this question about internet and newspaper, we are being asked about wether newspaper will remain the most important source or not .
my confusion is that we should not be writing or discussing about internet . As they have just asked about newspaper.

please simon assist me with understanding of different type of questions . Meaning we should have know-how about what opinion we can present in the answer while keeping a control over task response.

similary in my last attempt, i was given a question stated as

" as distant learning us becoming increadingly popular nowadays , but this way of studying can never be as good as studying in university "

And my task response was like ..

intro :;i agree that distant learning cannot be as good as studyng in universities.

first para .... number of reasons why distant learning is not good ..1 less interaction..less socialize .. loweeing confidence when interactin real world of job. Leading to less productive individual.

second para : why universities are better than distant learning ... best teachers . .. class of different intellectuals . Integrate with discussion.. widen prospwct about all subjects ..confident.. know how to lead an organization . Uni also give bright future prospect.

conclusion. Repeat intro

please tell me about the task responce i had given , was nit good enough to attain ggod band ??

Unfortunately i got 6 band for this essay.

[sjm]

Summer

The question 'links' the ideas of newspapers and the Internet into one sentence, and the expression 'most important' involves a comparison between the two sources, so you really should mention the Internet in this essay. Even if you expressed a strong opinion about newspapers, it should be in comparison to the Internet.

Regarding your essay about distance learning, there is nothing wrong with the outline you gave, but Task Response is not only based on your 'outline' but also how clear and 'precise' your arguments and explanations are. If you receive a 6 for vocabulary and grammar, you will also probably receive a 6 for TR because these errors often make your points difficult to follow.

[Ather]

Hey Simon:
Thanks a ton for this excellent blog.I am writing to you with reference to one query I have with reference to Writing Task 1 and 2.I understand there is a penalty for writing a memorized content, Does this mean penalty applies when the whole task is memorized or the sentences are memorized. I am asking you because I have the practice of memorizing sentences I like from the sample writing tasks you share. Is this a right approach or not ?

[emmanuel]

Hi guys,I'm looking for speaking practice partner in Lagos,Nigeria or any other person that's interested.My target band is 7 and above.Pls feel free to contact me on :[email protected].
thanks.
wish everybody best of luck in their exams.

[Simon]

FROM SIMON:

A quick note to people who think the essay was too easy:

One of the aims of this blog is to persuade more people that you don't need to use strange, original or 'difficult' vocabulary or grammar to get a high score. The essay that I attached to this lesson might look easy, but that's because it is coherent and well written. Try writing like this, and you'll probably see your score improve.

...

Ather,

Try to avoid using full sentences that are memorised. Memorised words and phrases are fine.

[Ather]

Thanks Simon, will at accordingly.

[Ather]

Thanks Simon, will act accordingly.

[Fatemeh Golrasan]

Dear simon,

I found the essay very well written, with a good structure. It is easy to understand and follow.

I enjoyed the way you started the essay , it was very useful for me since I have difficulty writing the first line of introduction.

Thank you for posting it.

[Fatemeh Golrasan]

Dear Simon

[shab]

Hi dear Simon
First of all i want to thank you for your informative blog.I just want to say that your comments and advice change my view about the IELTS completely.I appreciate that somebody think about others.
by the way would you please give us full essay about below topic. I found it challenging and confusing.
I am looking forward to hearing from you

One day worlds oil & gas reserves will ran out.The search for alternative energy sources like wind power,solar power,bursnig waste are causing as much environmental damage as the oil& nuclear sources they intended to replace
-How far do you agree with this latter argument?
-What possible benefits do the alternative sources bring?or what damage do they cause?

[Naela Agha]

Hi Simon
I had got 6 on writing on ILETS exam.I need you or one that you recommend to correct my essay in order to know where is the defect and try to overcome it.

[Vicky Jindal]

Hello sir i have a problem relating to ideas what to write pleas help me how can I overcome this problem

[ali]

dear simon.hi.....i have faced a question:
"The main reason is that it allows us much faster access to news"
or
"The main reason is that it allows us TO HAVE MUCH FASTER ACCESS to news"

i suppose the second one :
1-allow sb to......2-access as a noun also needs" have" you should say "have access to laababab...

[Simon]

Ali,

Both are correct. We often say/write "allows us access" in English.

[Micheal]

Hi, Simon,

It's nice to see your example essay, but I still have a problem.
By the band 7 description, Task Response, it said "presents,extends and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to overgeneralise and/or supporting ideas may lack focus".

In your essay you just mentioned some ideas but not extended (e.g. "Finally, many people like the experience of holding and reading a paper rather than looking at a computer screen." " A final point is that this source of news is less damaging to the environment.")

Are these acceptable in real Ielts exam?
I'm really looking forward to your reply. Thank you for your time.

[Simon]

Hi Michael,

Remember that the "main idea" is that newspapers will continue to be a vital source of information (the first sentence in the paragraph). The part about "holding and reading a paper" is one reason to support this main idea - it isn't a main idea in itself. I'm definitely extending the main idea in both paragraphs.

[khushbakht]

hi simon sir,you are doing a great work. after a long time i am here again to learn to your blog. one year ago i hardly got 6 bands in this task although i need 6.5,trying much but no improvement had seen.please everyone pray for me

[Fang]

Hi simon,
I tried to write this essay in different way, but i am not sure if it is a "right way" do this type of writing. Could you please have a look when you get a minute? Thank you.

In modern society, as the development of the Internet and high technologies, an increasing number of people tends to receive news and information through Internet rather than Newspaper. In my opinion, Internet will replace Newspaper and to be the most important source of news.

People favor to read news on papers because of three reasons. Firstly, newspaper is a reliable resource provider due to the reason that it hires professional journalist and have strict censor system. Secondly, for the people who live in rural area, they don not have access to internet and some of them have no knowledge of using computer; therefore, reading newspaper becomes a important and convenient way to communicate with this world. Thirdly, many readers enjoy the feeling of holding hard copies, they feel comfortable when they read stories and make notes on papers but not on computers.

However, newspaper will be finally replaced by internet as a source of news. The usage of internet and computers have been and will be more and more popular, especially for our next generation, shopping online, studying online and receiving news online has been their main lifestyle. At the same time, internet offers a platform to share their opinions and ideas of specific issues with others; for example, in the social network medias such as Facebook and Twitter, people can upload their own stories and comment others' at the same time, it makes them get addictive with internet. Finally, reading news on internet is environmental friendly, the pollution will be reduced as less paper and ink are produced and used.

To sum up, it is a tendency that large amount of people chose to know what happens in the world via internet, and I believe such tendency will be mainstream of whole society in near future.

[nina]

We can be informed of the daily news from various sources such as newspapers and the Iinternet. While newspapers are still used by a large proportion of the population, I disagree with the idea that newspapers are the best source of news, because online news is equally important.
There is no doubt that newspapers arethe traditional press is still a valid source for knowing what is happening in the world around us. There are several reasons for this. Firstly, people have easier access to the newspapers than to the iInternet. For instance, in many poor regions, people can not afford paying for the computer and the iInternet, and in most of those areas people do not yet have the online network system. Another example is that many elderly people do not know how to use computer and the Iinternet. Secondly, newspapers are controlled by the government, and therefore they provide more reliable data. However, the online information can be written by ordinary individuals and may sometimes be wrong.
Despite the advantages of paper media, I believe that the Iinternet is as just as important. If we read the daily news online, we can not only save papers, but also save too much time and money. We do not have to drive to city center in order to buy the papers. Also, the news online could be updated in just a few minutes, while it may take a full day for that news to be appeared in the newspapers. Thus, online data can be obtained much faster than paper data. Another key benefit of the Iinternet is that it is possible to translate the news into many languages using the online tools. In this way, it will be more convenient for many more to catch the news.
In conclusion, in my opinion, the Iinternet is as important news source as newspapers, and I disagree that newspapers are the main source of news.

[BruceLee]

Does it have to be a disagree if you want to write a balanced type? Could you also apply same tactics for the agree ???