IELTS Writing Task 1: pie charts answer

Have a look at my full answer for the question below.

The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world.
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The pie charts give information about the water used for residential, industrial and agricultural purposes in San Diego County, California, and the world as a whole.

It is noticeable that more water is consumed by homes than by industry or agriculture in the two American regions. By contrast, agriculture accounts for the vast majority of water used worldwide.

In San Diego County and California State, residential water consumption accounts for 60% and 39% of total water usage. By contrast, a mere 8% of the water used globally goes to homes. The opposite trend can be seen when we look at water consumption for agriculture. This accounts for a massive 69% of global water use, but only 17% and 28% of water usage in San Diego and California respectively.

Such dramatic differences are not seen when we compare the figures for industrial water use. The same proportion of water (23%) is used by industry in San Diego and worldwide, while the figure for California is 10% higher, at 33%.

(168 words, band 9)

Comments

[TUCHIBA]

Two American section
Water is consumed, water use, water usage
Worldwide, at the rest of the world, the world as whole
By home = by resident

[Catherine Roberts]

Great post and very creative view...

[H. A. Kader]

Dear Simon

But in second body paragraph you uesd two sentences instead of three.

[phoebe]

Dear Simon, Thank you for a great example.
I would like to ask you something. Do we need to make a short conclusion or not for task 1? Is it optional?
Thank you.

[Purovi alap]

It's a very learning post.... keep posting like this view. ...thank you...

[sjm]

H A Kader

It doesn't matter. Anyway, the second body paragraph is about one category, not two, so we would expect it to be shorter.

Phoebe

Never write a 'conclusion'. It is not required or expected and it takes words away from the other paragraphs.

[Boris]

Hi Simon
1) I notice you have repeated "by contrast" and "account for" twice. Is that really okay for band 9?

2) "provide information" seems to be far more common than "give information"; why did you use the latter? What other less common vocabulary would you pick out?

3) I don't see a wide range of structures here; am I missing something?

[niuxiufeng]

thank you

[MJ]

Hi Simon,
Thank you so much for your work.
I've followed your model essays, and curious about one thing. I tried to use the expression 'goes to' in my reports several times, but found it difficult to use it properly. Can you explain it in more detail, like when it is suitable to use or not in next lessons?

[sjm]

Boris

1. Yes, it's okay. We don't mind phrases being repeated, although a bit more variation is always welcome

2. To a native, 'provide information' and 'give information' are the same. Less common vocabulary here would include: world as a whole, the vast majority of, a mere, globally, the opposite trend, such dramatic differences

3. In Task 1, we don't expect too much variation. This Task especially is a very simple one, containing 9 figures, three regions and three categories, and it doesn't lend itself to much variation.

MJ

'Goes to' can be used to describe how something is allocated (divided into parts and distributed). It's used for things like money ($42b went to schools and hospitals) and other things that can be given or attributed to various categories. I wouldn't worry too much about it - you are quite likely to use it inappropriately.

[MJ]

Thank you sooooo much for your kind answer.:) Can I ask one more thing? Actually, I came into this place to add the expression 'go on' as well as 'go to'. Previously, I read the expression, "40% of the school's budget went on teachers' wages' in your essays. What is the difference between them when you use 'goes to' and 'goes on'? It seems to me that there is nothing different. Pls take me out of this curiosity.

PS. I really appreciate your clean blog. all of other teachers put advertise banners on their websites or the truthful aim is to promote their profitable online businesses. Every day I say thank GOD to be with you.;)

[sjm]

MJ

I'm not Simon......

Yes there is basically no difference between 'goes on' and 'goes to'.

[lltsah]

Can we say water used in the first line, because it is not about past date.

[Angel]

Hi Simon,

I can't really get the meaning of "account for". In what conditions we can use this term?

Thanks.

[Simon]

FROM SIMON:

Please read sjm's answers above. I agree with everything he says.

...

Boris asked about 'range of structures', and I'll say something about that in tomorrow's lesson here on the blog.

...

Thanks MJ. I'm glad you like the blog and the lack of adverts!

...

Iltsah,

"the water used" means "the water that is used". It's a kind of passive, and it is in the present tense, not the past.

...

Angel,

"accounts for" is like saying "is responsible for".

[Williams]

This is exactly my writing task 1 on April, but I couldn't express my self clearly

[omar]

the pie charts give information about water consumption in three purposes residential . industry and agriculture purposes
in two different places and in the world wide

its can clearly be seen that residential usage represent the largest portion in both san and california whereas this proportion dropped to only 8 % in world wide .

industrial usage remains steadly represent roughly quarter in the three places

agriculture purposes was just under quarter in san but this small fraction increased to 28 % this rose to 60 % almost nearly two third

[Kami]

Dear Simon
You used " is consumed by " in overview paragraph.It should not be " was consumed by " ? I'm a bit confused.

[Simon]

Kami,

No past dates are given, so my whole answer is in the present tense.

[yu chun]

The picture is shown how many percentage water use is there on the residential, industry and agriculture in those three area namely; San Diego, California and Worldwide. Overall, San Diego got most of on their residential, and Worldwide used that most on agriculture.

First look at San Diego, they used more than half percentage on residential. However, for the industry and agriculture are both less than 25 percentages, it only occupied 17% and 23%.

Turn in to California, it is obviously seen that those three parts of usage are average, they are almost the same. All of them are not over 40% and residential is the most among them. It occupied 39%. For industry and agriculture, each occupied 33% and 28%.

Finally, we take a look at the Worldwide, it spends a lot on their agriculture, it uses 69% on it, and then both industry and residential, is very low. For the first one, it uses 23% and the last one even no more than 10% of it.

[luke]

The pie charts compare San Diego county, California and rest of the world in terms of their water uses for residental, industrial and agricultural purposes.

It is clear from charts that the majority of water was used by resident in San Diego whereas agriculture dominate the vast majority globally.

can anyone help to correct me thanks

[Kami]

So, I remember you said in one of your post around writing task one in which we should write every single sentence in past form excluding introduce paragraph.Then, I'm right or there is another thing I have been missing? Thank you for your time and notice in advance dear Simon.

[Simon]

Kami,

Only when there are past years shown on the graph or chart. If no times are shown, use the present. If future times are shown, use the future.

We always use the present in the introduction to say what the graph "shows" now.

[Poooliiine]

Hi!

I'd like to ask, if how many body paragraphs are allowed in task 1?

[Kami]

My Dear Teacher
Simon

I would be in the dark if you had not pointed out the correct answer.I would like to appreciate your perseverance and empathy.I'm sticking to your posts in a daily basis and every single of your lessons comes to play its crucial role in my progress in becoming master in English.I do not know how to thank you.

Yours Faithfully
Kami

[Luu]

Hello simon

Have you seen a question of writing task1 in Cambridge book 11 which has 6 pie charts?

I just stumbling in this question.

This is my summary paragraph

It is clear that agriculture accounts for the vast majority of water usage in South America, Africa, Central Asia and South East Asia. However, in North America and Europe, water is more used for industry than agricultural or domestic use. The domestic usage of water have minor ratio in all six areas.

But I find it is difficult to write body paragraph in detailed.
I'm not sure did I grasp the right ideas.

[Kurim]

The Three Pie Charts elucidate the comparison of the percentage of water used in San Diego County, California and Worldwide. The partitions of water use purposes are residential, industry and agriculture. It is observed that large portions for both areas in America are for home and farming takes the majority of water globally. San Diego County used 60% of water supply and hair less below one fourth is brought to industrial purposes. Agriculture has the smallest figures wtih 17% of water usage. Household water consumption in California is 39% which is far below from San Diego County. The Industry sector of California utilizes 33% of water supply,and agricultural sector accounted for 28%. A different scenario can be noticed for the worldwide results. Farming takes approximately three fourth of the worlds water reserve with staggering 69%. Industry is acknowledged with 2 fold less from the Agriculture' usage.While domestic purposes consume the smallest amount with 8% of water supply.

[Muhammed Ali TIMUR]

Hi Simon;

Can we write that "agriculture makes up for the vast majority of water used" instead of accounts?

[Leila]

Hi Simon
Thanks for all the valuable and mind-opening techniques and samples your are providing us with.
I have one question, and would appreciate if you could please care to answer:

In my writing, I compared pie charts instead of corresponding figures in each of them, composing each body paragraph. Is that also correct?

[arnoldzhen]

The three pie charts illustrate the different proportion of water usage for residential, industry and agriculture purposes in San Diego, California and the rest of the world.

It is clear that the percentage of residential usage decrease considerably from San Diego county to California state and worldwide, while that ratio of agriculture usage increase contrarily and substantially.

In details, 60% of water used by local residents in San Diego, while this figure drop to 39% in California state, and only 8% of water globally goes to residents. The opposite trend showed in water consumption on agriculture. Only 17% of San Diego’s water used by agriculture, and this number rise to 28% in California and 69% worldwide which is more than four times compared with San Diego.

Finally, industry water usage remains relatively stable among three levels. It is as same as 23% for San Diego and worldwide, while this number is 10% higher for California, at 33%.

[Trantuan Hinh]

Hi everyone, please help me check my answer for the above question! really appreciate your work.

The three pie charts illustrate the use of water in three separate sectors in San Diego, California and the world as a whole.
It is clear that residential purposes account for the largest proportion of total water usage in San Diego and California, whereas most water all over the world is used in agriculture. it is also noticeable that there are not many differences in the use of water in California.
Globally, a significant percentage, 69% of total water consumed in agricultural purposes. in contrast, the figures for California and San Diego County are far much lower, at 28% and 17% respectively. In San Diego, three fifths of the entire water amount is used for by home. The data for California is 39%, whilst only a mere 8% of worldwide water used in this area.
In comparison with aforementioned areas, industrial sectors, on the other hand, shows similar proportions in water use in all three parts. In detail, the highest rate can be seen in California, at 33%, which is ten percent higher than the figures for the two remaining regions (23%).

[Ann]

Dear Simon,

I wonder whether we use "by agriculture" rather than "for agriculture" because I see you use "by industry" above

[Noble]

Thank you very much for this post, it has really helped me.But in writing the overview can I write that the residential water usage met a decrease in california and worldwide whereas, use of water for agricultural purpose experienced a dramatic increase from san Diego , california and worldwide . Thanks.

[slzheng]

@Simon

I found the overview paragraph is not well connected to 3,4 paragraphs. The highlight part is what I modified on top of your answer. Can you give any feedback?

The pie charts give information about the water used for residential, industrial and agricultural purposes in San Diego County, California, and the world as a whole.
It is noticeable that residential or agricultural water consumption accounts for the vast majority of total water usage throughout the world. By contrast, the percentages of water used by industry are similar in 2 US regions and worldwide.
In San Diego County and California State, residential water consumption accounts for 60% and 39% of total water usage. By contrast, a mere 8% of the water used globally goes to homes. The opposite trend can be seen when we look at water consumption for agriculture. This accounts for a massive 69% of global water use, but only 17% and 28% of water usage in San Diego and California respectively.
Such dramatic differences are not seen when we compare the figures for industrial water use. The same proportion of water (23%) is used by industry in San Diego and worldwide, while the figure for California is 10% higher, at 33%.