IELTS Grammar: correct the mistakes

Can you improve the following sentences? They were all written by students below this lesson.

1. In 2005, only 5% of visitors gave excellent impression of the service.
2. 45% of guests were in favour of satisfactory services in the hotel.
3. Satisfactory impression was given by 45% of hotel guests.
4. In 2005, negligible 5% of people surveyed thought the service was excellent, while the figure for good was relatively larger, being 14%.
5. In conclusion, the hotel performance showed marked progress between 2005 and 2010.

Comments

[ahmed]

1-IN 2005, A MERE OF 5% OF THE VISITORS RATED THE HOTEL CUSTOMER SERVICES AS EXCELLENT.
2- 45% of the visitor found the services satisfactory
3-satisfactory rating was given by 45% of the guests
4- In 2005, a mere of 5% of the visitors said that the services was excellent, while the figure for visitors who vote as good was relatively larger at 14%
5- overall, the hotel rating showed a marked improvement from 2005 to 2010.

[ahmed]

in sentence number 5 :
i think using "in conclusion" is not appropriate as we should write an overview not a conclusion, also using (between 2005 and 2010) is not accurate as we have data only for the 2 years nothing in between
one last thing, i think we do not have any data about the hotel performance, we have only rating graph, it could be concluded from the improvement of the rating, but we shouldn't mention it in task 1

am i right?

[Haozhan Sun]

1.In 2005, only 5% of visitor gave the excellent impression of service.

2.45% of guests rated in favour of satisfactory services in the hotel.

3.

4.In 2005, 5% of people rated excellent thought the survey, while the figure for good was relative larger at 14%.

5.In conculsion, the performance of the hotel saw a marked progress from 2005 to 2010.

[IsaaC]

1.In 2005,only 5% of visitors had an excellent impression about hotel service.
3.45% of hotel guests had a favourable impression about the customer service there.
4.In 2005,a mere of 5% of guests thought the provided service was excellent,while the proportion of good responses comprised of 14%.
5.There had been a significant improvement in the overall rate of the hotel's customer service by 2010.

[nhan nguyen]

1. In 2005, only 5% of visitors gave excellent impression of the service.
-> I think he/she should use “the” before “visitors”, and I wonder that in this sentence use “gave” with “excellent impression” is suitable or not.
The sentence I write down: In 2015, only 5% of the visitors thought that the service was excellent.
Or: In 2015, only 5% of the visitors were impressed that the service was excellent.
2. 45% of guests were in favour of satisfactory services in the hotel.
-> 45% of the guests were in favour of the service was satisfactory.
-> Or: 45% of the guests were in favour of the satisfacory customer service in the hotel.
3. Satisfactory impression was given by 45% of hotel guests.
-> The satisfactory impression was felt by 45% of the hotel guests.
4. In 2005, negligible 5% of people surveyed thought the service was excellent, while the figure for good was relatively larger, being 14%.
-> “negligible” is not used in this sentence, I think it is not fit to and “people surveyed thought” lack of relative clause, and “being 14%”, I think it is better for using accounted for 14%.
-> In 2005, only 5% of people in the survey thought the service was excellent while the figure for good was relatively larger, accounted for 14%.
5.In conclusion, the hotel performance showed marked progress between 2005 and 2010.
-> I think use “the hotel performance” is not suitable for this writing because this is the result of the visitors in the survey is not the hotel performance and not use “between 2005 and 2010” because the data is in 2 different years.
-> In conclusion, the feedback from one hundred visitors in the hotel survey showed the marked progress in 2005 and 2010.

[Lucy]

1.In 2005, only 5% of visitors had excellent impression on the service.
2.45% of guests gave satisfactory in services in the hotel.
3.Satisfactory was given by 45% of hotel guests.
4.In 2005,only 5% of people surveyed thought the service was excellent, while the figure for good was relatively larger, at14%.
5.In conclusion, the hotel made marked progress between 2005 and 2010.

[Lucy]

1.In 2005, only 5% of visitors had excellent impression on the service.
2.45% of guests gave feedback of satisfactory in the service provided by the hotel.
3.Satisfactory was given by 45% of hotel guests.
4.In 2005,only 5% of people surveyed thought the service was excellent, while the figure for good was relatively larger, at14%.
5.In conclusion, the hotel made marked progress on customer service between 2005 and 2010.

[Shane]

oh wow! the 4th sentence is what I wrote last week (I recognized it immediately:P )

to be honest, i didn't realize the error when i wrote it, and I'm still not sure how to fix it exactly. But that's just the best part, isn't it?

it's always great to find the mistakes that I made, because I believe it's the best and fastest way to improve my English. Only by finding and correcting such errors I frequently or occasionally make, can I avoid making the same ones in the exam!

that's also why i think asking an experienced English tutor to check for errors in ONE essay is more helpful and rewarding than writing FIVE essays at home without receiving any feedback from a teacher.

thank you Simon! your website does provide heaps of valuable and useful information and practice, and I've benefited a lot from it.

[B.B.]

Dear Simon,

I have a question about the discussion essay of topic "whether governments should pay for healthcare and education' that you posted a couple of weeks ago. Sorry to put the question here, but I'm afraid you'd miss it :)

My question is that if my opinion is not completely in favour of either side, but somewhere in the middle, like "while governments should pay for the basic healthcare and schooling, individuals should also be responsible for their own health and education", how should I put my opinion in main body paragraphs? Because in the two main body paragraphs, I know we should explain the reasons for each opposite side.
Also, I don't think only indicating my opinion in the introduction and repeating it in conclusion is enough, so I'm a bit confused about giving such a neutral opinion in a discussion essay.

Would you please help me with this issue?

Thank you so much.

[roi]

Hi everyone,
My friend and I took an IELTS exam. She got 7 in speaking even if she used the full 2 mins for part 2 with lots of fillers like "umm..", whereas I enabled to answer all of the questions direct and clear. My examiner even stopped me in part 1 and some of part 3, unfortunately I only got 6.5.

Why do you think this is the case?

[roi]

Oh sorry, part 2&3 I should say

[Alison]

Hi Simon, do you have any General Training Task 1 video? I am willing to pay for it!

[NT]

1. In 2005, only 5% of the visitors rated customer service as excellent.
2. 45% of the guests gave satisfactory feedback for services in the hotel.
3. Satisfactory response was given by 45% of the hotel guests.
4. In 2005, a negligible 5% of people surveyed thought the service was excellent, while the figure for good response was relatively larger, at 14%.
5. Overall, the hotel performance showed marked progress from 2005 to 2010.

[Salil]

1-In 2005, only 5% of visitors rated the service to be excellent.
2-45% of guests rated in favour of satisfactory service from the hotel.
3-Satisfactory rating was given by 45% of hotel guests.
4-In 2005,5% of guests surveyed felt that the service was excellent, while the figure for good was relatively higher,at 14%.
5-In conclusion, the hotel showed markable progress between 2005 and 2010.

[Salil]

1-In 2005, only 5% of visitors rated the service to be excellent.
2-45% of guests rated in favour of satisfactory service from the hotel.
3-Satisfactory rating was given by 45% of hotel guests.
4-In 2005,5% of guests surveyed felt that the service was excellent, while the figure for good was relatively higher,at 14%.
5-In conclusion, the hotel markable progressed between 2005 and 2010.

[My]

1.In 2005, only 5% of visitors had an excellent impression of the service.
2. 45% of guests were in favour of hotel services.
3. A satisfactory impression was given by 45% of hotel guests.
4. In 2005, merely 5% of people surveyed thought the service was excellent, while 14% of whom thought the service was good.
5.In conclusion, the hotel performance made remarkable progress between 2005 and 2010.

[Raj Sharma]

I'am confused, I can't find any mistake.

[Simon]

ANSWERS FROM SIMON:

First, here are the problems:

1) "gave excellent impression" is wrong. Visitors don't "give" an impression. Maybe you could say they "had a good impression of".

2) "they were in favour of" means "they wanted". This isn't about what the visitors wanted, it's about what they thought.

3) The same problem as number 1 with "give impression".

4) We need to write "a negligible..." or "a mere". I wouldn't write "the figure for good", "relatively larger" or "being 14%". There are better ways to express these ideas.

5) Don't write "In conclusion" in any task 1 report! It's a summary, not a conclusion.

[Simon]

FROM SIMON (continued)

Now here are my improved sentences.

Remember: if you're not sure whether something is correct (e.g. "give impression"), just find an easier way to express the idea.

1) In 2005, only 5% of visitors thought that the service was excellent.

2) 45% of (the) guests said that the hotel's service was satisfactory.

3) According to 45% of those surveyed, the hotel's customer service was satisfactory.

4) In 2005, a mere 5% of the people surveyed thought that the service was excellent, while the figure for those who rated the service good was higher, at 14%.

5) In summary, the hotel's customer service performance showed marked progress between 2005 and 2010.

[Wanetta]

1.In 2005, only 5% of visitors had excellent impression of the service.
2.45% of guests considered the services in the hotel satisfactory.
3.45% of hotel guests got a satisfactory impression of hotel service.
4.In 2005, a negligible amount,5%, of people surveyed thought the service was excellent, while the figure for people who remarked it as " good " was relatively larger, being 14%.
5.In conclusion, there was a a remarkable progress of hotel performance between 2005 and 2010.

[황원숙]

In 2005, only 5% of visitors gave excellent impression of the service.
-In 2005, only 5% of visitors had an excellent impression of the service.
2.45% of guests were in favour of satisfactory services in the hotel.
-45% of guests saw satisfaction of the hotel service.
3.Satisfactory impression was given by 45% of hotel guests.
-45% of hotel guests showed the level of satisfaction regarding impression aspect.
4.In 2005, negligible 5% of people surveyed thought the service was excellent, while the figure for good was relatively larger, being 14%.
-In 2005, merely 5% of people surveyed thought the service was excellent, while 14% of whom thought the service was good.
5.In conclusion, the hotel performance showed marked progress between 2005 and 2010.
-In conclusion, there was a a remarkable progress of hotel performance between 2005 and 2010.

[MNS]

Hello Simon,

Would you mind if you mind better alternative for sentence forth. It seems to me a little bit difficult to catch on

[Khiem]

"45% of guests rated in favour of satisfactory services in the hotel"
Does the idiom " in favour of" go with to be or the verb "rate"?
MY ANSWER:
In 2005, only 5% of visitors shown excellent impression of the service.
45% of guests were in favour of satisfactory services in the hotel. What`s the mistake of this sentence? Someone please tell me?
Satisfactory impression was shown by 45% of hotel guests.
In 2005, negligibly 5% of people surveyed thought that the service was excellent, while the figure for good was relatively larger at 14%.
In conclusion, the hotel`s services performance showed remarkable progress between 2005 and 2010. Is "marked" the same as "remarkable"?

[Khiem]

Can "satisfactory" go with "impression"? Is it right that they don`t match to each other?
3rd: Satisfactory was rated by 45% of hotel guests.
Can I write sentence begin with "satisfactory rates..."