Let's have a look at one of the questions from Cambridge IELTS 11.
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Here's the first half of my sample answer. Can you fill the gaps?
People have different views _____ how governments should measure their countries’ progress. _____ economic progress is of course essential, I agree with those _____ believe that other measures of progress are just as important.
There are three key reasons why economic growth is seen _____ a fundamental goal for countries. Firstly, a healthy economy results _____ job creation, a high level of employment, and better salaries for all citizens. Secondly, economic progress ensures that more money is available for governments to spend _____ infrastructure and public services. For example, a government with higher revenues can invest _____ the country's transport network, its education system and its hospitals. Finally, a strong economy can help a country’s standing _____ the global stage, in terms of its political influence and trading power.
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Posted by: NickV | July 06, 2016 at 09:19
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Posted by: joanna | July 06, 2016 at 09:36
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Posted by: TAN | July 06, 2016 at 11:41
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Posted by: Rupam | July 06, 2016 at 12:29
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Posted by: pachu | July 06, 2016 at 12:30
Hi Simon,
Here are my answers..
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Posted by: Kamal | July 06, 2016 at 12:39
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Posted by: Kim | July 06, 2016 at 13:18
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Posted by: Martino | July 06, 2016 at 14:23
views "on/about"
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is seen "as"
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spend "on"
invest "in"
standing "on"
Posted by: Shane | July 06, 2016 at 15:29
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Posted by: Dung Nguyen | July 06, 2016 at 15:35
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Posted by: nhan nguyen | July 06, 2016 at 15:53
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Posted by: Salil | July 06, 2016 at 16:13
I agree with my friends.
Posted by: siamak | July 06, 2016 at 17:38
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My answers are very different with others...
I should study more hard.
Posted by: SONIA | July 06, 2016 at 18:07
Hi Simon,
I have a small doubt in writing task-2.
which type of sentence structure (Simple/complex/compound) have to be used to get a good score.
Regards.
Posted by: Kamal | July 06, 2016 at 18:31
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Posted by: Tinh | July 06, 2016 at 18:36
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Posted by: rosh | July 07, 2016 at 00:17
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Posted by: Tyler | July 07, 2016 at 01:44
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Posted by: niuxiufeng | July 07, 2016 at 03:46
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Posted by: Daisy | July 07, 2016 at 04:29
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Posted by: cozy | July 07, 2016 at 04:44
Please allow me to ask a question regarding very old post.
On 13 Jan 2016, you posted “This would allow us to argue that too much sport on TV may be partly to blame, but that other factors may be equally or even more important.”
Does this mean you can, for example, discuss bad effect of too much sport on TV in one main paragraph, and other factors such as unhealthy diet in second main paragraph?
If you can do this, you also should be allowed to say like this, “I would completely disagree because the causes of poor health of young people are bad eating habit and sitting in front of computer” and spend most of discussion on these reasons for poor health. But this is clearly off-topic, isn’t it?
I think this question asks you to discuss whether too much sport TV programmes discourages young people from physical activities or encourage them to partake in exercise, then discuss if this causes poor health or not. You are not asked to discuss about other factors of poor health.
For example, when question is “some people argue that increasing the price of junk food would reduce the incidence of high blood pressure, agree or disagree?”, probably I cannot say “I would disagree because high salt intake, smoking, and lack of exercise are important factors of high blood pressure” and discuss the importance of these factors , can I?
But is saying “partly agree, because there’re other important factors to reduce blood pressure” and discussing why increasing price can reduce blood pressure in one paragraph, and mentioning other factors in one paragraph acceptable?
Generally speaking, when you’re asked “A can result in B, agree?”,
1. Agree: reason and example in one para + another reason and example in one para
2. Partly agree: reason why A possibly result in B in one para + A doesn’t always cause B and example
3. Partly agree: reason why A result in B in one para + C causes B in one para
4. Disagree: reason why A doesn’t result in B and example in both para
5. Dsagree: C causes B in both para
I think No.5 isn’t acceptable as it’s off-topic, and I thought No.3 wasn’t either, but is it OK?
Posted by: Yuji | July 07, 2016 at 05:14
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Posted by: rajani | July 07, 2016 at 06:30
"Eid Mubarak" to all of U.
Posted by: Dr. Rajashish Chakrabortty | July 07, 2016 at 08:29
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Posted by: TUCHIBA | July 07, 2016 at 10:30
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Posted by: norelyn | July 07, 2016 at 11:59
CORRECT ANSWERS FROM SIMON:
1. about
2. While / Although
3. who
4. as
5. in
6. on
7. in
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Posted by: Simon | July 07, 2016 at 14:44
Yuji,
I agree that your 5th 'formula' would result in an essay that probably strays away from the topic too much. However, the 3rd one seems fine to me. If you disagree with the reasons for something, I think it's normal to then suggest other reasons.
Posted by: Simon | July 07, 2016 at 14:53
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Posted by: hedi | July 07, 2016 at 17:18
Thank you so much for your reply.
Posted by: Yuji | July 07, 2016 at 22:51
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Posted by: YuDang | July 08, 2016 at 06:35
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Posted by: nima | July 09, 2016 at 09:18
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Posted by: Mitsuteru | July 11, 2016 at 04:19
how about this answer for gap number 4
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Posted by: ahmed | July 11, 2016 at 05:39
People have different views (about) how governments should measure their countries’ progress. ( while) economic progress is of course essential, I agree with those (who) believe that other measures of progress are just as important.
There are three key reasons why economic growth is seen (as) a fundamental goal for countries. Firstly, a healthy economy results (a) job creation, a high level of employment, and better salaries for all citizens. Secondly, economic progress ensures that more money is available for governments to spend (on) infrastructure and public services. For example, a government with higher revenues can invest (in) the country's transport network, its education system and its hospitals. Finally, a strong economy can help a country’s standing (at) the global stage, in terms of its political influence and trading power.
Posted by: Mouh.ram | July 11, 2016 at 22:38
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Posted by: Ellen | July 12, 2016 at 03:08
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Posted by: mahnaz | July 12, 2016 at 08:42
Hi Simon
Can I paraphrase this statement like the following?
" Many administrations reckon that prosperous advancement is the significant aim for a country.Although economic progress is essential, I agree with those who believe that other measures of development are as important as economy.
Posted by: mahnaz | July 12, 2016 at 09:00
Dear Simon,
here is my essay. your comments are highly appreciable. please check it.
People have different views about how governments should measure the progress of their countries. While I accept that economic progress is considered one of the major gauges to determine economic progress of a country, I believe that other parameters such as education is just as important.
On the one hand, there are various reasons why economic progress is considered to be one of the best measures which is often used to determine the progress of a country. One obvious reason is that only economic progress can ensure job opportunities, job security and career progression for all the citizens of a country. Another reason is that this ensures that governments have enough money to finance development projects which is likely to enhance comprehensive development of a society. For example, Construction of various types of infrastructure such as building roads, bridges, buildings and parks are often associated with huge amount of financial obligations, and proper and timely accomplishment of these projects are only possible if governments have sufficient money. A further reason is that governments can help other nations which are underdeveloped funding various development projects.
On the other hand, I believe that education is one of the major factors that can be considered to measure the progress of a country. Highly educated people, for example, scientist, researchers, doctors, engineers and technicians are certainly great asset for any country because their contributions to society have a positive impact. Their innovations help many people to live comfortably and this has been seen in many developed countries across the globe. In addition, educated mind always enlighten other people and make contributions to solve problem in the society by making proper decisions. In other words, they help nations to show the proper path when decision making is difficult and play an important role to solve problems.
In conclusion, I believe that economic progress as well as education is the key to measure the growth of a country.
Posted by: ripon | July 15, 2016 at 05:07
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Posted by: Sara | July 18, 2016 at 11:21
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Posted by: Indira | July 19, 2016 at 02:36
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Posted by: miraj | July 24, 2016 at 10:33