IELTS Writing Task 2: 'high salaries' essay

Here's a full essay that I wrote with my students for the question below.

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People have different views about whether governments should introduce a maximum wage. While in some ways it may seem reasonable to allow people to earn as much as companies are willing to pay, I personally believe that employee remuneration should be capped at a certain level.

There are various reasons why it might be considered beneficial to allow people to be paid extremely high salaries. If companies offer excellent pay packages, they can attract the most talented people in their fields to work for them. For example, technology companies like Google are able to employ the best programmers because of the huge sums that they are willing to pay. Furthermore, these well-paid employees are likely to be highly motivated to work hard and therefore drive their businesses successfully. In theory, this should result in a thriving economy and increased tax revenues, which means that paying high salaries benefits everyone.

However, I agree with those who argue that there should be a maximum wage. By introducing a limit on earnings, the pay-gap between bosses and employees can be reduced. Currently, the difference between normal and top salaries is huge, and this can demotivate workers who feel that the situation is unfair. With lower executive salaries, it might become feasible to introduce higher minimum wages, and everybody would be better off. One possible consequence of greater equality could be that poverty and crime rates fall because the general population will experience an improved standard of living.

In conclusion, it seems to me that it would be better, on balance, for governments to set a limit on the wages of the highest earners in society.

(274 words, band 9)

Comments

[Yagoub Elryah]

Even though the issue is very intetsting, the writer says fristly....and forgets to continue ... as we expect to illustrate secondly OR ginally...

[Sihoeung]

Excellent ideas !! How can brain storm ideas for the readers understand easily😞😞

[Simon]

Yagoub,

Yes, we knew we were doing that. We initially wrote "secondly" but we changed it to "furthermore".

It didn't really matter, but I've deleted "firstly" so that people aren't confused by it.

[lana]

Dear Simon,
could you please work on the extreme sports topic after finishing the topic you are working on at the moment in the task 2 section as I didn't find that you talked about it before and I find it rather difficult.
Here is the question
Extreme sports such as sky-diving and rock climbing should be banned because they re dangerous . To what extent do you agree .
Thanks a lot in advance.

[Simon]

lana,

Ok, we'll look at that next week.

[Jhen]

Hi Simon. I just want to clarify regarding with the use of trasitional words and phrases. Do I become too mechanical if I will use Firstly, Secondly and Finally?

[Mary Ha]

Dear Simon,

I'd like to let you know that you are an excellent teacher. Your lessons are really useful and enhance our English skills a lot. Thank you very much!
Best wishes to you and your family!
Regards,
Ha from Vietnam

[syuk]

I'm impressed with you vocabulary....people should learn the right use of those words from your essays.

[lana]

Dear Simon, I am overwhelmed by your kindness thanks a lot indeed From the bottom of my heart.

[TUCHIBA]

Dear Simon,
My understanding that the subject is good for country, I agree that you explained that through to motivate and demotivated, it impacted positive and negative productivity, and impacted indirectly, in my opinion, this is not absolutely clear in your essay, do you agree ?
thank you !

[Tom]

Dear Simon,

I appreciate your effort to post all those writings. It has helped me a lot over the past few months.

I got a question about the word you chose in paragraph 3.

You used a word 'consequence' in the last sentence. However, I believe it does not match with the meaning of the remaining sentence, because, based on my understanding, the word defines as resulting in an unpleasant or unwelcome way.

Is it a good idea to use a different word or am I being bit too sensitive on this matter?

Thank you!

[sjm]

Tom

'Consequence' in English means 'a result' and it can be used for both positive and negative results.

[L]

I cheked "cap" in oxford dictionary and for the purpose that is used in this essay, it is only noun. However, you used it as a verb? does it mean oxford dictionary did not mentioned that?

[D]

Dear Simon,

Can you give me your feedback and what band score essay this is? Thank u

Intelligence is most important component for leadership. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and support it with adequate examples.

It is true that a leader has to have more intelligence than a normal layman. While I believe this, I contend it is not prime quality required to become a leader. In this essay I will give the reasons supporting my opinion.

Admittedly, brainpower is necessary in-order to lead a mass. A leader has to fulfill various responsibilities. My team leader, for instance, is a civil engineer by profession but he has to supervise administration and finance department too. If he did not have ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills then he would not have been selected for the position. Additionally, sometimes head person needs to take swift and tactful decision which can only come from intelligent mind. In absence of this quality negative consequence like dispute among the group may arise.

Having said that, I do not think while choosing a leader the first criteria should be intelligence, instead hard work and zeal to work for the benefits of followers should define a leader. Furthermore, ability to connect emotionally and in personal level is the stepping stone for becoming a leader. Barrack Obama, whose speaking talent undeniably shows his intelligence is not selected as president of USA for a second time because of his IQ only. His selfless work, interaction with the commoners and dedication for overall growth of his country made him in the position he is now.

To conclude, though sharp mind is needed to become a leader, I believe emotional intelligence, constantly motivated, and drive to work hard should be the prerequisite for a leader.

[muaf]

are there still whatsapp groups which ı can join?

could someone reach me please?

[TUCHIBA]

L,
Please check in Cambridge dictionary, it mentioned that Cap is verb, meaning is cover or limitation

[Simon]

Hi Tuchiba,

Your point about mentioning the "good for the country" idea is important. I did keep that in mind, and my references to it are very subtle.

I think the following phrases address the "good for the country" point:

- result in a thriving economy
- increased tax revenues
- paying high salaries benefits everyone
- everybody will be better off
- poverty and crime rates fall
- the general population will experience an improved standard of living

...

The other questions above have been answered (correctly) in later comments by other people.

[Hameeda imtiaz]

Hi simon...I am writing an essay for the first time on your blog for the sake of practice and correction....n I hope u'll comment on it whenever it is convenient for u...
Job satisfaction and well deserved salary packages,are the main concerns of working individuals,nowadays.While,some believe that government should put some limit to the wages.I personally agree with the opinion of those who think that salaries should be well enough
There might be various reasons behind the idea of defining a certain limit to the amount of salary,that should be paid.For example,by adopting this technique,pay gap among the colleagues working in a common setup can b reduced.This can ensure equality and reduced professional jealousy among the workers resulting in an efficient and healthy working environment.
However,I am convinced by the fact that wages should be paid according to one's designation and qualification which means that individuals at high posts should be paid high.Take doctors as an example.they have to struggle to become a specialist consultant from a house officer level.
They pay alot of fees for medical courses, conferences and work hard to publish the research papers only then they achieve the desired success.So i think this effort should be rewarded and a senior doctor working in a government setup should b paid high then his junior doctorst.this will encourage
them to saty in that setup and fullfill their jobs with dedication and endurance.by keeping in mind this example the frustration,among people,of not getting the required salaries in any proffession can be reduced.Moreover, people will not try to adopt illegal ways of earning high resulting in decreased crime rate.Also,by keeping that salary gap a healthy competition can b encouraged and people at junior level will b motivated to work harder than ever to succeed.
To cut the long story short,earning high salries will keep the spirits of deserving individuals high and will increase their efficiency.This will benefit the people and the government both

[Hameeda imtiaz]

Hi simomon...I am writing an essay for the first time on your blog for the sake of practice and correction....n I hope u'll comment on it whenever it is convenient for u...
Job satisfaction and well deserved salary packages,are the main concerns of working individuals,nowadays.While,some believe that government should put some limit to the wages.I personally agree with the opinion of those who think that salaries should be well enough
There might be various reasons behind the idea of defining a certain limit to the amount of salary,that should be paid.For example,by adopting this technique,pay gap among the colleagues working in a common setup can b reduced.This can ensure equality and reduced professional jealousy among the workers resulting in an efficient and healthy working environment.
However,I am convinced by the fact that wages should be paid according to one's designation and qualification which means that individuals at high posts should be paid high.Take doctors as an example.they have to struggle to become a specialist consultant from a house officer level.
They pay alot of fees for medical courses, conferences and work hard to publish the research papers only then they achieve the desired success.So i think this effort should be rewarded and a senior doctor working in a government setup should b paid high then his junior doctorst.this will encourage
them to saty in that setup and fullfill their jobs with dedication and endurance.by keeping in mind this example the frustration,among people,of not getting the required salaries in any proffession can be reduced.Moreover, people will not try to adopt illegal ways of earning high resulting in decreased crime rate.Also,by keeping that salary gap a healthy competition can b encouraged and people at junior level will b motivated to work harder than ever to succeed.
To cut the long story short,earning high salries will keep the spirits of deserving individuals high and will increase their efficiency.This will benefit the people and the government both

[Indonesian]

Hi Simon 😊😊😊

Sorry for repeating my questions.

1. Is it always possible to choose 'partly agree' on the type of 'do you agree or disagree' question? Or is there any exception?

2. Is the word 'distinctive' the same as 'different'?

Thank you very much

[NAZI]

Hi
How can I put your idea from your book that you are suggestion on my essay.
thanks alot for this site is very helpfull.

[lana]

Why you mentioned higher minimum wages. How does that relate to the topic? I felt that you introduced it suddenly from nowhere and it was not relevant. I felt it went off topic. Now as I am in London I can understand you better and why you thought of that as the minimum wages have increased recently but I think it is not relevant. What do you think? And how does that reduce crime and poverty? What is the relation? Do you mean instead of giving high salaried government should let companies pay their employees higher salaries? I feel there us something missing
I feel that the third paragraph needs a second thought or I misunderstood it.
Could you clarify my doubts please.

[Simon]

Hameeda,

I'm afraid I don't offer essay checking here. I would receive too many similar requests if I did.

...

Indonesian,

No, I don't think it's always possible. If the question contains a superlative or a very strong word (e.g. x is the BEST way to solve the problem), I don't think you can partly agree - either something is the best way or it isn't.

Distinctive means particular, special, separate or different.

...

Nazi,

Here's a lesson about using the ebook:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2011/01/ielts-writing-task-2-using-the-ebook.html

...

lana,

Yes, I agree that the 'minimum wage' idea seemed a little bit off-topic (I've just added a few words to improve this sentence).

The argument about wage equality helping to reduce crime and poverty is quite common. I suppose you could say that we didn't fully develop this point - however, a 250-word essay will never be perfect in this respect.

Please note that I write these essays with my students, using the ideas that they have. There are often small imperfections in my essays, but nothing big enough to affect the score.

[TUCHIBA]

Noted, thank you very much for your reply

[lana]

Perfect answer Simon. Thanks a lot. Now i understand. You are doing a great job for us. We are learning a lot from you. God bless.

[Nga]

Anyone please tell me why "drive their companies successfully", I think it is "successful" instead

[Esther]

You can say that again. this is the common thing in Africa, few individuals earning so much, yet the poverty levels are quite high. and for what? what's the end game?

[Ali]

Is it common to mention our opinion directly in introduction in this kind of discussion writing?

[yel]

Could you explain me how the gathering talented workers can be a benefit for country? I mean the first argument.

[arnoldzhen]

Nowadays, some high-level employees in big companies and organizations make lots of money. Opinions over this issue are divided. While some people argue salaries should be under a certain level, I would agree that extreme high salary is good for the country.

There are three reasons behind my support. First, people who can get high salary usually are leading persons with strong capability. They serve as an example for others to follow. The competitiveness of company will be greatly improved by the incentives to make more money. Second, high level income people pay more tax to governments. Under the circumstance of progressive tax rate system, higher income means higher rate of income tax. Governments could do more work with those tax collected. Third, wealthy people are more likely to consume latest invented product, which stimulate and contribute the progress of technology and eventually benefit all society.

On the other hand, some people are against it. They claim governments should limit the salary level. There also might be some reasons. First, the extreme high salary expands the gap between rich and poor. It is governments’ responsibility to maintain social equality and justice. The huge income difference probably will undermine the social stability and disincentive the poor people. Second, they argue this is not fair for lower income people. Family background and connection sometimes play an important role in people’s development, and governments should help and protect interest of lower class.

In conclusion, although it seems reasonable governments should not allow salary beyond a certain level, I think high salary for some people is more beneficial to the country.

[ryanjajajam]

can I replace 'be willing' with what phrases?

[Sarah]

Dear Simon and fellow students, I am a big fan of this learning website, even I finished my test years ago, I still come here read Simon's update, this website is not only for English, but it also offers new idea new thinking.

I have a question in this -One possible consequence of greater equality could be that poverty and crime rates fall because the general population will experience an improved standard of living 12OCT2016.

I am not sure how 'standard of living' related to certain level of salary. anyone who is clear about this please reply me to help me out. my email is [email protected]

[Sarah]

hi Simon and other students, I read through the comment above, and I think my question has been answered. thank you.