IELTS Writing Task 2: essay analysis

Here's my analysis of the essay in last week's lesson:

Task response
If you look at the 'skeleton' of my essay (introduction, first sentence of each body paragraph, conclusion), you can see that I answer the question very clearly. Then, within the body paragraphs there are well-developed ideas to support my answer.

Coherence and cohesion (i.e. organisation)
I used my normal method: 4 paragraphs containing 13 sentences in total. The essay is easy to read because it is well organised and the ideas are developed in a very clear, logical way. Linking words (e.g. and, similarly, this, for example, mentioned above, firstly, secondly, finally, while, which) are used to connect ideas, but the linking doesn't distract the reader from the content.

Vocabulary
I reviewed the good vocabulary in this lesson. Remember that your vocabulary score comes from your use of 'topic vocabulary', not linking words or phrases.

Grammar
The essay contains a mix of long and short sentences, and there are no mistakes. Remember: as soon as you use connecting words like and, while or which, you will automatically create compound or complex sentences, so there's no need to worry about "complex grammatical structures".

Comments

[Nam Anh]

Thank you very much, Teacher Simon!

[Jack]

Hi Simon,

Do examiners have the right, based on personal perspective or experience, to judge whether candidates had cheated or not?

I got my result one week ago and found I just got 5.5 in writing part. I supposed I can get at least 6.5 or even 7 because I had strictly followed you suggestions.

So it's really confusing. It is said candidates in mainland China always get the results below their expectation. Therefore many students go to Hongkong to take the exam and always get a better score.

[sjm]

Jack

There are many reasons why you got a low score - often it is because of missing a key feature in Task 1. Also, you have to realise that the vast majority of Chinese candidates achieve a 5 or 6 for grammar due to frequent errors.

I'm not sure what you mean by 'cheating'. Examiners mark your writing on a computer screen, with all details removed (your name etc), so they have no way of knowing, or even guessing, your level of English.

I specialise in the Mandarin speaking community, and there is absolutely no truth that people in Hong Kong get better scores.

[Shweta]

Can you please guide me. I have just one question please help.This question recently asked in march 2017 academic module in writing task 2. In some countries, people like to eat a wide range of food which is not available in the local area, as a result they eat food at different places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages? Thank you

[James Z.]

Hi Jack,

I'm from China and I also have Chinese friends in the UK. The funny thing is I was awarded 7 for three consecutive speaking tests while my friend in Britain repeatedly failed. I'm clearly aware that without my teacher's help I could never have achieved this, but it just demonstrates that changing test centre is not a sensible idea at all. Please don't believe this kind of rumour and biased opinion which I know is very popular in China. There are a variety of factors leading to the ultimate success but you should definitely be focusing on improving the quality of your answer in the first place rather than wasting your time, money and effort on anything else.

[Ahmed]

Hi Simon,
What if we wrote a conclusion without a "to sum up" or "to conclude" sentence; will we lose marks for that?

[Diane]

Hi　simon,
What is the 4 parts-13 sentense structure ? Where can I find the explanation for this writing strategy.