The graph below shows changes in global food and oil prices between 2000 and 2011.
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Here's my band 9 answer:
The line graph compares the average price of a barrel of oil with the food price index over a period of 11 years.
It is clear that average global prices of both oil and food rose considerably between 2000 and 2011. Furthermore, the trends for both commodities were very similar, and so a strong correlation (93.6%) is suggested.
In the year 2000, the average global oil price was close to $25 per barrel, and the food price index stood at just under 90 points. Over the following four years both prices remained relatively stable, before rising steadily between 2004 and 2007. By 2007, the average oil price had more than doubled, to nearly $60 per barrel, and food prices had risen by around 50 points.
A dramatic increase in both commodity prices was seen from 2007 to 2008, with oil prices reaching a peak of approximately $130 per barrel and the food price index rising to 220 points. However, by the beginning of 2009 the price of oil had dropped by roughly $90, and the food price index was down by about 80 points. Finally, in 2011, the average oil price rose once again, to nearly $100 per barrel, while the food price index reached its peak, at almost 240 points.
Why this writting have different tenses? Thank you
Posted by: Blossom | May 25, 2017 at 14:36
I mean sth like :reaching a peak, reached its peak,had risen by, was down by... Can we use both past and past perfect ?
Posted by: Blossom | May 25, 2017 at 14:49
Could you explain the use of past tense in this overview part "Furthermore, the trends for both commodities WERE..." Tks
Posted by: Vu Anh | May 25, 2017 at 16:37
What brand may I get from this one? Thank you.
As can be seen clearly from the line graph, the prices of global food and oil were correlated closely. In 2000, oil was at the lowest price, approximately $25 per barrel and the food price index was also at its lowest point at 90. From 2000 to 2007, both oil price and food price index increased gradually before reaching the peaks at 2008 ($230 per barrel of oil and above 220 points of food price index). By the beginning of 2009, the price of oil had dropped by $110, nearly half of the year before, and started to go up again, reached $100 per barrel in 2011. Similarly, the food price index decreased sharply from 2008 to 2009, by 80 points and then increased again and reached the new record at nearly 240 points in 2011. It is noticeable that in 2011, the distance between oil price and food price index was wider than the whole period before. Although global food and oil price were various on different points of time, they showed the strong correlation at 93.6%.
Posted by: David Pham | May 26, 2017 at 03:20
Blossom
Vu Anh
1. Because the data is from 2000 to 2011, when we examine the data we use the past tense.
2. When we use 'by + time' we use past perfect
3. We use present tense when we say 'the graph compares' and 'there is a correlation' because we are looking at the graph now, and also, the correlation was made after the data was collected.
David
You might like to start by using clear paragraphs. You cannot get a high score if you don't show good paragraphing.
Posted by: sjm | May 26, 2017 at 05:32
Can I use "both goods" instead "both commodities" and "worldwide" or "general" instead "global" ?
Thank you
Posted by: Peter | May 26, 2017 at 06:48
Hi Simon,
Why did you write a number (96%) in the summary?. I remember your technique clearly that we need to save specific numbers for the detail paragraphs. Are we allowed to break the rule only for correlation?. I am sure there is a reason why you do so.
Thank you.
Posted by: Rio | May 26, 2017 at 09:18
Hi Simon,
Could you explain why you use past tense in second clause of this sentence: " However, by the beginning of 2009, ..., and the food price index was down by about 80 points. "
Thank you!
Posted by: Kina | May 26, 2017 at 09:27
Kina
Usually, when we use 'by + time' we are talking about something that happened BEFORE this time, so we use past perfect. In this case, Simon is talking about the drop that happened before 2009. In the second half of the sentence, he is not talking about the period before 2009, he is talking about 'at the beginning of 2009', so he is using simple past. We can do this because 'by' means 'up to and including'.
Posted by: sjm | May 26, 2017 at 12:09
Your Description Exceeds The Words Limit won't It Lower The Writing Bands?
180 Words
Posted by: Imran | June 08, 2017 at 04:14
Can we skip the time period between 2004 to 07,
Posted by: Dalvin | June 15, 2017 at 05:20
"so a strong correlation (93.6%) is suggested" very impressed by this! Simon's model answers are always so nice and clear yet everything is included.
Posted by: yichen | August 18, 2017 at 17:11
Oh and it's a 12-year period rather than 11 I guess...
Posted by: yichen | August 18, 2017 at 17:17
Excuse me, Simon!
Why did you use " past perfect tense" in the last sentence of paragraph three?
Posted by: Michelle | August 21, 2017 at 11:43
Dear Simon,
I have a question regarding this:
'with oil prices reaching a peak of approximately $130 per barrel'
Shouldn't it be 'reaching a peak to approximately...'instead of 'reaching a peak of'? because the noun that describes change (e.g. peak) followed by 'of' if it is followed by the size of change. Since 130 dollars is a result of change rather than the size of change, can I use 'reaching a peak to approximately 130 dollars'?
Thank you for your explanation :)
Posted by: Rahmi | August 23, 2017 at 05:31
What do you mean by "a strong correlation is suggested"
Posted by: Kris | March 25, 2019 at 04:01
Ielts simon helps me a lot for the preparation of my exam.I have been using this from last 40 days and to be honest, now it enables me to write better than before.
Posted by: Manveer | October 26, 2019 at 01:55
hi Simon, where do I get the (93.6%) strong correlation? I cannot see it in the essay
Posted by: Jill | November 11, 2019 at 05:34