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August 02, 2017

IELTS Writing Task 2: paraphrase + basic answer

Let's look at a simple 2-sentence introduction for the question below. Notice how I paraphrase the main ideas in my first sentence, and I manage to answer both parts of the question in my second sentence.

Question
Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?

My introduction
It is true that some parents are overly permissive and tend to spoil their children. In my opinion, this is not a good parenting style, and it can have a range of negative long-term consequences.

Comments

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Hello Simon,

This is my first time writing here. Please let me know if my introduction is on the right track.

It is true that many parents like to indulge their children and give them permission without educating. However, I believe it is not a good model parenting for most parents and the consequences will lead them on the wrong path.

Posted by: Jackie | August 02, 2017 at 10:21

Some people have been arguing that a few parents indulge their children by giving them desired goods. I believe that this is not a good idea up bringing the offspring because it can cause detrimental effect in the foreseeable future.

Posted by: Biks | August 02, 2017 at 11:17

Jackie:
https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=*+on+the+wrong+path%2Clead+them+down+the+wrong%2C+down+the+wrong+track&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2C%2A%20on%20the%20wrong%20path%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bare%20on%20the%20wrong%20path%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bwas%20on%20the%20wrong%20path%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bwere%20on%20the%20wrong%20path%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20on%20the%20wrong%20path%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Beyes%20on%20the%20wrong%20path%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bbeen%20on%20the%20wrong%20path%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bbe%20on%20the%20wrong%20path%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bgoing%20on%20the%20wrong%20path%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Boff%20on%20the%20wrong%20path%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bracer%20on%20the%20wrong%20path%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Clead%20them%20down%20the%20wrong%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cdown%20the%20wrong%20track%3B%2Cc0

https://www.google.co.nz/search?q=%22consequences+will+lead+to%22&tbm=bks&lr=lang_en&gws_rd=cr&ei=O6uBWcurH4uY8QWpqoD4AQ

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=the+parenting+model%2Ca+parenting+model%2Cparenting+model+*%2Cparenting+model%2Cmodel+parenting+*%2Cparenting+style%2C+a+good+model+for&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cthe%20parenting%20model%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Ca%20parenting%20model%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2Cparenting%20model%20%2A%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bparenting%20model%20is%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bparenting%20model%20that%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cparenting%20model%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cmodel%20parenting%20skills%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cparenting%20style%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Ca%20good%20model%20for%3B%2Cc0

Posted by: kim345 | August 02, 2017 at 11:41

Biks:

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=It+has+been+argued+that%2CSome+people+have+been+arguing&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2CIt%20has%20been%20argued%20that%3B%2Cc0

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=*+their+every+whim%2C+*+to+their+every+whim%2C+giving+them+desired+goods&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2C%2A%20their%20every%20whim%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bto%20their%20every%20whim%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bindulge%20their%20every%20whim%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bsatisfy%20their%20every%20whim%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bgratify%20their%20every%20whim%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthat%20their%20every%20whim%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bof%20their%20every%20whim%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bobey%20their%20every%20whim%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bindulged%20their%20every%20whim%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bat%20their%20every%20whim%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bfor%20their%20every%20whim%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2C%2A%20to%20their%20every%20whim%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bcater%20to%20their%20every%20whim%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bin%20to%20their%20every%20whim%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bsubject%20to%20their%20every%20whim%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcatering%20to%20their%20every%20whim%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcatered%20to%20their%20every%20whim%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bpander%20to%20their%20every%20whim%3B%2Cc0

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=*+bringing+up+their+offspring&year_start=1960&year_end=2009&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2C%2A%20bringing%20up%20their%20offspring%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bin%20bringing%20up%20their%20offspring%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bof%20bringing%20up%20their%20offspring%3B%2Cc0

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=*_VERB+detrimental+effects%2C+have+detrimental+effect+*&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2C%2A_VERB%20detrimental%20effects%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bhave_VERB%20detrimental%20effects%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhad_VERB%20detrimental%20effects%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhas_VERB%20detrimental%20effects%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bproduce_VERB%20detrimental%20effects%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcause_VERB%20detrimental%20effects%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhaving_VERB%20detrimental%20effects%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bminimize_VERB%20detrimental%20effects%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bavoid_VERB%20detrimental%20effects%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bobserved_VERB%20detrimental%20effects%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bproducing_VERB%20detrimental%20effects%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Chave%20detrimental%20effect%20on%3B%2Cc0

Posted by: kim345 | August 02, 2017 at 12:58

Some parents used to permissive with their children and spoil them overly. This education is very bad and cause some consequences in the long run for the children's life.
To discuss this topic we have to expose the fault of this style of parenting, first of all, parents have to take care in educating their children, for example, don't buy everything they demand and don't give them whatever they want. We have to bring to them only what they need to raise. Moreover, scientists said this way is bad in education and not allow to raise children, contrarily it spoils and disturbs their life.
So there are many bad consequences in the long run, firstly, children depend on their parents in every things in their life and don't make suitable decision in the important case when they become adult. Secondly, this way of education spoil the children and disturb their character. Finally, children couldn't deal normally with others or act in habitual way, for example, they may cry or shout if anyone don't obey them.
In conclusion, parenting style has effect the on children's life, in good or bad way and it results many consequences in their life on the long run. so don't give your children whatever they want.

Posted by: Mouayad Zeidan | August 02, 2017 at 17:48

Who does not want the best for his children?but
some time parents indulging them in order to satisfy their desires,this severe consequences
parenting style does not only affect our youngster ,but our society too.

Posted by: Layan Sadaldeen | August 02, 2017 at 23:58

Mouayad Zeidan:
You seem to have put Simon's ideas into practice. However, some of your sentences are hard to understand. As Simon says:

"You already have all the IELTS advice that you need here, so just try to find a good "general English" teacher."

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2017/06/ielts-advice-study-alone-or-take-lessons.html#comments

Posted by: Hiro89 | August 03, 2017 at 01:01

It is true that some parents believe in freestyle education, they would not put any strict rule on their children, let those youngsters decide whatever they want to do. As far as I see, this is definitely not a good upbringing, and it certainly can make a number of adverse long-term results.

Posted by: unshaunsha | August 03, 2017 at 06:44

Hi All,

Please comment/make corrections on my introduction below.

It is true that some parents tend to spoil their children by merely allowing them to fulfill their desire. I believe that this is not a good parenting style as it can have serious negative consequences in long run.

Posted by: Jeff | August 03, 2017 at 09:23

Hi Combo,

Thanks for your comments and supports.

Posted by: Jeff | August 03, 2017 at 12:30

Some parents spoil their children by allowing them to have and to do everything they want. In my opinion, permitting these to your children will have a negative effect in their future.

Posted by: dany | August 03, 2017 at 14:10

Dear Simon,

I would like to know if this is really true. I attended an IELTS Masterclass by IDP here in Cebu, Philippines. The IELTS examiner, who is from Thailand, discussed that in the conclusion part, the candidate must put a recommendation, a judgment or an opinion to add weight to your concluding sentence. Please enlighten me with this.

Posted by: kLwT | August 03, 2017 at 15:16

It is often claimed that parents carry a huge responsibility in bringing their children up and the way which they treat them is the key factor in their life. However,some parents spoil their siblings too much by buying everything they want and allowing them to do whatever they want .in my opinion this parenting style is a bad way for bringing them up and could have a range of negative consequences

Posted by: [email protected] | August 03, 2017 at 19:07

It is commonly practiced by some parents that they are overly permissive and ultimately spoil their children. In my opinion, this parenting style is inappropriate and it can lead to the massive destruction in children's life.

Please correct me if i am wrong.

Posted by: Maryam hassan | August 04, 2017 at 03:37

Hi Combo,

I corrected my introduction as below, please comment if you can.

It is true that some parents tend to spoil their children by merely giving in to their demands. I believe that this is not a good parenting style as it can have serious negative consequences in long run.

Posted by: Jeff | August 04, 2017 at 08:30

It is true that some parents spoil their offspring by letting them to do and get whatever they want. This is definitely not a good approach towards raising children, which would negatively impact children’s future.

Posted by: Madikation | August 04, 2017 at 11:42

It is true that some parents are succumbing to their children's demands and tend to spoil their children. In my opinion, this is certainly not a good parenting, and it can have a range of detrimental long-term impacts.

Raising youngsters with over-indulgence by their parents is simply a poor child-rearing style. Children ought to be brought up in a way which let them understand the real nature of the world, where unreachable things exist. In other words, it would be impractical and impossible for everyone to possess or do according to their wishes in their life. If they are allowed to do whatever they want, they will not be able to distinguish the right from the wrong. Furthermore, they would grow up without grasping the real value of money, the hard work to gain that money or learning how to manage it effectively.

There are a number of negative influences on children in this overly permissive parenting. Firstly, it would create a generation of arrogant young adults who lack social empathy, personal resilience, and are destined to be bitterly disappointed in life. Being excessively pampered by parents, they might think that they are superior to others, bully peers around them, and even ignore social values. Secondly, greater problems could arise in the future by bringing up children without boundaries. For example, they may not be able to cope with confrontations, deal with failures, and know how to negotiate with people and real life obstacles. Consequently, they might end up with emotional breakdowns and depression later in their life.

In conclusion, although saying no can be really difficult, it would be unrealistic for parents to fulfill every wish of their children, and this poor style child-rearing may lead to a hindrance to their individual growth and adult life.
(297 words)

Posted by: Skl | August 05, 2017 at 21:36

@Kali457

PLease can you elaborate this graph? I don't get it.

Posted by: Maryam Hassan | August 06, 2017 at 16:18

Maryam hassan

If you click on "Search lots of books", you will see that the phrase "It is commonly practised by " is not found, which is odd.

Using (natural) phrases that do come up one could simply start with something safe like:

Some parents are overly permissive....

Posted by: Kali457 | August 06, 2017 at 18:06

@Kali457

Thanks a lot.

Posted by: Maryam hassan | August 07, 2017 at 06:00

In conclusion, its true that some parents pamper their children. However, I strongly believe that parenting style should be more strict in order to prevent any unwanted types of behaviors in the future.

Posted by: Ali | August 09, 2017 at 11:06

It is true that some people try to meet every need of their children and do nothing to regular behaviour of their children. In my opinion, this is not a good approach to relate children. and it can have a range of negative long-term consequences.

Posted by: jaguar | August 09, 2017 at 22:45

Dear simon.
How much words's should be in intro?

Posted by: harjodh singh | August 13, 2017 at 05:04

IF ANYONE CAN CORRECT IT. THANKS A TON!!
A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values such as honour, kindness and trust no longer seem inportant. To what extent do you agree or disagree??

It is true that in today's society, the luxurious items and social image that a person holds play a key role in deciding his value and personal traits such as loyalty and generosity have lost its significance. I agree with this complete statement due to numerous reasons.

There are multifarious factors that why people pay more attention to the materialistic things. Primarily, every person is in the race of being successful because society considers the person prominent if he has gained some sort of social reputation. To get this preferential treatment, material possessions are the easiest way to show off others that one has accomplished enough in his life. For instance, people like to exhibit expensive lifestyles by using expensive cars, living in colossal mansions and venturing on splendid vacations. Most of the people use social-networking websites and they get encouraging compliments when they upload pictures to prove that how royal they are. Therefore, the aspects on which people observe others have transformed substantially.

In the same way old-fashioned morals have also been dominated by demeaning characteristics of people. Mostly people take the help of dishonesty and dominance in their business deals, at work and even in their relationships. To satisfy the insatiable hunger for money and fame, modern people believe in exploiting others especially due to their self-obsessed temperament. It is disgrace that the inevitable disappearance of loyalty, respect and benevolence has been becoming more apparent for about past two decades. In marriage relationships, for example, the divorce rate has been elevated than ever before solely because the partners are not loyal with their spouse and they constantly cheat on each other. It is conspicuous that people perceive that they are more content with deceptive and degraded ways of life.

In conclusion, although this change in tge previous values and personal worth is not productive for everyone, it seems unrealistic to escape from the powerful influence of this.

Posted by: Rammy | August 13, 2017 at 08:45

In conclusion, I believe that the parents should restrict children's demands for spending on unnecessary stuff as they will not be knowing the value of the money, instead teach them how wisely we can spend and save on things which are essential.

Posted by: charlie | August 15, 2017 at 11:31

Charlie

Comma-splice at "instead'

Posted by: Klaus | August 15, 2017 at 18:33

It is not recommendable parenting style. Most of parents indulge whatevet their childeren want. Thus and so, children is spoiled by this wrong parenting style.Besides it affecs negatively to children's immidiate and foreseeable future.

It is my first comment and i just have started to study ielts a mounth ago. If anybody can correct my mistakes, it would be perfect. :)

Posted by: BAHAR | August 16, 2017 at 15:43

BAHAR

You can use google books and nrgrams to check your phrases and find natural usage and context:

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=recommendable+*_NOUN%2Crecommended+*_NOUN%2C+*_ADJ+parenting+style&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Crecommendable%20%2A_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Brecommendable%20qualities_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brecommendable%20quality_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brecommendable%20kind_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brecommendable%20way_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brecommendable%20book_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brecommendable%20practice_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brecommendable%20place_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brecommendable%20character_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brecommendable%20manner_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brecommendable%20method_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2Crecommended%20%2A_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Brecommended%20Mr._NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brecommended%20procedure_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brecommended%20dose_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brecommended%20practices_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brecommended%20practice_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brecommended%20changes_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brecommended%20treatment_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brecommended%20method_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brecommended%20dosage_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Brecommended%20allowances_NOUN%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2C%2A_ADJ%20parenting%20style%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bauthoritative_ADJ%20parenting%20style%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bauthoritarian_ADJ%20parenting%20style%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bown_ADJ%20parenting%20style%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bpermissive_ADJ%20parenting%20style%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdemocratic_ADJ%20parenting%20style%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bparticular_ADJ%20parenting%20style%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BAuthoritative_ADJ%20parenting%20style%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BAuthoritarian_ADJ%20parenting%20style%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Beffective_ADJ%20parenting%20style%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BPermissive_ADJ%20parenting%20style%3B%2Cc0

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=Most+of+parents%2CMost+parents%2C+Thus+and+so%2C+children+is+spoiled%2C+children+are+spoilt&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2CMost%20parents%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2CThus%20and%20so%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cchildren%20are%20spoilt%3B%2Cc0

https://www.google.co.nz/search?q=%22thus+and+so%22&lr=lang_en&gbv=1&tbs=lr:lang_1en&tbm=bks&ei=aCiWWdrEOYzT8QWCzI-oAw&start=10&sa=N

Posted by: Klaus | August 18, 2017 at 00:40

Allowing your kids to adopt a habit of buying or having anything they want is a poor way of parenting in my opinion as it can have negative consequences for both parents and the children.

Posted by: Rehan | May 17, 2018 at 14:18

Allowing your kids to adopt a habit of buying or having anything they want is a poor way of parenting in my opinion as it can have negative consequences for both parents and the children in a long run.

Posted by: Rehan | May 17, 2018 at 14:19

It is sometimes argued that where is the limit of accommodating children's requests without any resistance. In my opinion logical behavior against their wants, is a significant part of kids nurture and help them to treat sensible in their adult life.

Posted by: Amin | May 09, 2020 at 15:31

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