IELTS Writing Task 2: 'dress code' essay

Here's my full essay for the question that we looked at a couple of weeks ago.

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern workplace, dress codes are changing as employers focus more on results than on the rules that employees must follow. While I agree that the way people dress should be seen as irrelevant in many work contexts, I believe that dress codes still exist for good reason in certain professions.

On the one hand, many employers have stopped telling their staff how to dress, and I see this as a positive trend. Some of the most successful companies in the world, including technology giants like Google and Facebook, are famous for the relaxed office environments that they try to create. Employees are encouraged to dress casually, and even the company executives and leaders are rarely seen wearing anything other than T-shirts and jeans. However, while managers and programmers are free to dress how they like, they are expected to produce work of outstanding quality. It is clear from the performance and global dominance of such companies that strict dress codes are completely unnecessary in the technology sector.

However, I would also argue that rules regarding employees' clothing are still relevant in other work situations. We expect certain professionals, such as nurses, police officers and airline pilots, to wear uniforms. These uniforms may have a practical or safety function, but perhaps more importantly they identify the person’s position or role in society. Similarly, a lawyer, politician or school principal may choose to wear formal clothing in order to portray an image of authority, trustworthiness and diligence. I believe that most of us prefer to see these professionals in smart, formal attire, even if it is not strictly necessary.

In conclusion, I support the trend towards relaxed dress codes for workers, but I do not see it as applicable to all occupations or sectors of the economy.

(298 words, band 9)

Comments

[Benard]

Recently, the discussion on how employees should dress at workplace has become a common phenomenon. While other people believe that employers should pay much attention to it, a section thinks that the quality of work out put is more relevant. This essay agrees with the latter's opinion since free dress code provides self confidence and relaxation necessary for staff performance.

To begin with, many employers now days have stooped telling their staff how to dress, free dressing style improves on the self confidence of employees which leads to improvement in productivity.For instance, multinational companies like the google and Microsoft do not limit their staff on how to dress and they have emerge as the most successful companies across the globe.

Furthermore, free dress code encourages relaxation and free mind of employees, for one to perform well at the work places, they require a free and stable work environment which in turn encourages high concentration and comfort on job hence excellent performance. Research by many scholars has shown that employees who are relaxed and free minded performs better than those who are restricted.

In conclusion, the nation that employers ought to restrict employees on their dressing style,it not only reduces comfort at work but also cuts deeply on the employees self esteem which is key on performance development.

What is my band?

[Lucy Chan]

Hi, Simon.
First, thank you very much for helping with my writing.
I mean no offence, but I have to inform you that usually the word counts of most of your essays are wrong. However, your essays are perfect.

[liu min yu]

dress code that was speaking part 2 last year

[HAKader]

Lucy Chan,

They way you said the word counts of Simon's essays are wrong is really frustrating. Could you please give us some example?
However, what do you know about Simon? For your kind information he is an ex-IELTS examiner. I have doubt in your word count but not in Simon's count.

[Puneet cheema]

Hi, Sir
I have few questions and i wanna ask you one of them. If we got lower bands in our test and after that if we will do exam again. Is it possible to get accumulating result I mean, I heard from someone as examiners give marks to check up our previous performance. Although it's my main anxiety due to which I don't fill my next exam.

[gabi]

@ Puneet cheema

I think that the examiner who marks your writing neither knows your name, nor has any access to information about your previous results.

Occasionally it happens that you get the same speaking examiner quite by chance, but again, it is unlikely they would remember you, or your previous score.

[Puneet cheema]

Yeah might be. But, I was not sure for that as I wrote I heard. Fortunately now I really realise and I will try again without any hesitation and anxity

Thank you @gabi

[sjm]

Puneet Cheema

1. Writing examiners have no details about you, or any previous scores.
2. Speaking examiners are not supposed to examine candidates they have examined before, unless they genuinely have no memory of having examined them before.

[Simon]

Lucy Chan,

I don't do the word count manually - my computer does it. Maybe you are using a different word processor. It's certainly strange that you are getting a different word count!

[Mandeep]

I could not understand the conclusion...
Please describe it for me

[maria]

Good day to all, i wrote an essay for writing task 2 which is irrelevant to your topic here.
i just want to have your corrections if you don't mind me posting here a different topic.
Please and thank you.
I need your help.

"More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult.Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city.How can government make urban life better for everyone?"

My essay goes this way:

People's belief and point of view differ in every situation.Sometimes the decision you make that you think is right might be the wrong thing for others.

Having to move to the city in search of better life is a major decision to make. As we all know that city life can be extremely difficult.Firstly,because the city is crowded different people from different places are coming with different reasons. and in terms of opportunity there is a big competition, one example is in the field of Information technology
companies now who are in search of IT professionals are strictly? choosing the applicant with more experience rather than newly graduates.Secondly The air pollution brought by car engines and factories that emits harmful gasses like carbon dioxide and sulfur dioxide which is harmful to human body.Finally, the cost of living in the city is more expensive,everything you have to buy and pay just like your basic needs, foods, water and electricity and house which is unfavourable to those who have less income, labourers and job seekers.

In spite of the aforementioned drawbacks of urban life, government has the capability to improve and make it better for everyone by providing different opportunities to accommodate the huge number of professionals in different areas, opening new projects such as telecommunication companies, medical companies, and food and beverage related companies.And also to lessen the air pollution, using diesel oil rather than gasoline oil and tree planting in open land can also help lessen the air pollution.

In conclusion,whatever the difficulties an urban life can could bring it is still up to you how you deal and cope up with it.until you find the better life you you're searching for.

I thank you in advance for your corrections..

[gabi]

maria:

Your mission, should you choose to accept, is to:

1) Google "run-on sentence" and "comma-splice", and then find, identify, and correct three sentences in your own submission with this type of error.

2) Use google books or ngrams to check out the following phrases:
"People's belief and point of view differ"

For example:
https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=People%27s+belief%2Cpeople%27s+point+of+view%2C+people%27s+beliefs%2C+people%27s+points+of+view&year_start=1900&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2CPeople%20%27s%20belief%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cpeople%20%27s%20point%20of%20view%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cpeople%20%27s%20beliefs%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cpeople%20%27s%20points%20of%20view%3B%2Cc0

3) Rewrite without using "you" to generalize (which is considered informal).

4) Google the difference between a main clause and a subordinate clause in English, and identify and correct four serious structural errors in your second paragraph, and the last sentence of your third paragraph, and also in the conclusion.

There are basic syntax and structural errors in almost all your sentences, so it is important to do some grammar research and fix this issue.

[Dilini]

Please any one clarify this essay topic.

I think that it should describe more on quality of work too because they have mentioned that employer no need to worry on clad if they satisfied of their quality of work.

I am so much confusing. please help.

[maria]

@ gabi
thank you.
what else should i do? or i mean to avoid? in writing essay?

[mana]

please see this introduction, as I'am taking step by step to master writing. Thanks in advance.

INTRODUCTION:

Many say that employers should not wear specific dresses as the end product of the work is more important than their clothes. in my opinion, I do not agree with that idea because dress codes show level of professionalism and identifies certain roles.

[Lucy Chan]

Simon, I have developed two ways of concession and refutation which needs your assessment. Thanks in advance.
The topic is: Is watching TV positive or negative?

①
Admittedly, a minority of individuals tend to believe that watching TV programs inevitably has several drawbacks, one of which is detrimental influence on kids' academic studying because long-time watching TV programs, especially those soap operas, will easily lead to students’ addiction to the plot development. In this way, children’s attention will not be fully paid to academic courses in school. However, those people have oversimplified the real situations as some effective measures have been taken by parents such as taking a strict control of time that is spent in watching TV. Therefore, watching TV will not cause serious problem to children’s school learning.

②
Admittedly, a minority of people tend to believe that watching TV will have obvious merits, one of which is the opportunity to achieve abundant up-to-date information and knowledge because various TV programs contain a wide range of fields such as economy, culture and entertainment. However, if we can view such a situation from a different perspective, we can find that those people oversimplified the real situations. For example, violence and pornography are frequently shown on TV screens, which will certainly misguide children. Therefore, the provision of a sea of information will not be justified.

[Mojo]

@mana

https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/dress

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/dress#English

Note that "dress", when countable, only refers to women's clothing, so in the plural it must only be about women's stuff.

This means that your phrase "employers should not wear specific dresses" means the business owners should not wear women's clothing. Not sure if this is what you intended.

"In my opinion" is superfluous, as you already have "I agree".

"level of " : the noun is singular and countable so needs an article.

Check subject/verb agreement: codes/show codes/identify

[Mojo]

@Lucy Chan

"Kids" is not suitable for an IELTS essay: use "children" instead.

The natural verb collocation is "have an influence on".

"long-time watching TV programs" -> continually watching TV programs OR watching TV programs...will in the long run ...

"serious problem" : the noun is singular and countable and so needs an article.

"if we can view "..." we can find "

[Rurad]

So it should be some thing like this.

Many say that employers should not wear specific uniforms as the end product of the work is more important than their clothes. I, however, do not agree with that idea because dress codes show professionalism and identifies certain roles.

[Mojo]

Rurad

If you work for me, I am your employer (and boss/business owner), but you are my employee (a worker).

There are quite a number of words like this.

mortgagor/mortgagee
donor/donee
interviewer/interviewee
trainer/trainee
guarantor/guarantee

"Many": really? do you have any evidence to support that?

codes-show, codes - identify

[Rurad]

Really???? Are we suppose to prove if “many people” believe some idea ???. Is it English essay or some statistics im confused.

[preet]

Please tell me the exact way to write Simon I am still confusing

My teacher told me that everytime you need to write in such way
1) topic sentence
2) reason
3) explanation
4) result

Next you have to mention two reasons in introduction which you will explain afterwards

Tell me what do I need to do

[Mojo]

@preet

There is no "one best way" to deal with a Task 2 question, (apart from doing what the question asks and answering it properly). So different teachers have slightly different approaches and terminology. What you have been told roughly corresponds to Simon's "idea, explain, example" approach, although the wording and emphasis are different.

Many teachers emphasize the "topic sentence", perhaps more than Simon does. On the other hand, Simon emphasizes finding appropriate examples more, perhaps because the instructions usually read: "include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience".

Checkout the links below:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2011/05/ielts-writing-task-2-idea-explain-example.html

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2013/07/ielts-writing-task-2-idea-example-explain.html

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2018/01/ielts-writing-task-2-main-paragraph-methods.html

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2017/11/ielts-writing-task-2-from-ideas-to-paragraph.html

As to mentioning two reasons in the introduction, the model answer below, provided by the British Council themselves, does no such thing, so it is not essential.

https://takeielts.britishcouncil.org/sites/default/files/2018-01/Writing_practice_test_1_IELTS_Academic_Model_Answers.pdf

The rationale is that an IELTS essay is so short that it is better to have a shorter introduction (and conclusion) and allocate more time, effort, and words to supporting and extending your ideas in the body paragraphs, as this is one of the main criteria mentioned for Band 7 and 8.

All that really matters is that you have a sound framework in your head to help you put forward your ideas across in a logical sequence and with a clear progression throughout the essay.

BTW you are not "confusing", you are confused. It is the different instructions that are confusing you.

[preet]

@mojo

Can I add phrases and idioms in task 2 in order to make it more impressive

[Mojo]

@preet

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2018/05/ielts-advice-memorised-show-off-phrases.html#comments

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2017/07/ielts-writing-task-2-proverbs-and-idioms.html

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2013/11/ielts-vocabulary-idioms.html

Band 9 states "uses a wide range of vocabulary with very natural and
sophisticated control of lexical features". Most of the time if a phrase is found in google books it is suitable for IELTS. If the dictionary marks a phrase as informal then it is not suitable. The tricky part is to find a "natural" phrase as this may not correspond to a word-by-word translation from your own language.

It is often better to aim for clear and concise rather than impressive (which often degenerates into sticking in phrases willy-nilly). An good phrase in the wrong context may serve only to convince the examiner that you really do not know your stuff, do not understand the nuances, and definitely do not merit a high score for vocabulary. A well-used phrase in the right context is fine, but stick within your knowledge limits.

[preet]

Ok thankyou.

[M-numan]

Kindly assess my essay

In the modern workplace, few people are of the view that dressing of workers should not be a matter of concern as it is the essence of input they deliver in their work that matters the most. I agree with the thought above however, in some jobs dress code is a necessity.
Nowadays in offices employees dress acvording to their comfort because naturally a person can give his best to a cwmertain task only when he is physically at ease. Hence, neuther the managers nir tge authorities are concerned about what their members wear at work. For instance, it is known that major business companies such as Google and Microsoft have eased the dress codes for their employees so as to provide a more comfortable and nourishing emvironment. Thus, dressing of the workers remains of little interest rather it is the quality of their work that is given weightage.

On the contrary, there are certain fields of work where following a dress code is a must such as doctors in hospitals or police officials on cite because their dress identifies their position and specific role in the society. Furthermore, certain professionals such as lawyers and army officials are more appreciated in decent formal attire even if it is not a necessity.

In conclusion, i agree with the idea of comfortable dressing at business offices however, it is not applicable in all occupations and economical setups.

[Kandi]

M-numan

There are a number of infelicitous, awkward and unusual phrases which would drag your score down. For example:

"dressing of workers": this does not come up on ngrams, and sounds rather like someone is dressing up the workers. What is needed is a normal phrase like "dress code".

Similarly, "the essence of input","dress according to their comfort ", "naturally a person can give his best","neither the managers nor the authorities", " that is given weightage"," appreciated in decent formal attire".

Also "members" is not an adequate or accurate substitute for employees or workers. It suggests a club, not a firm.

"Nourishing environment" does not seem to fit the context of a business concern: https://www.google.com/search?q=%22nourishing%20environment%22&tbm=bks&lr=lang_en&gws_rd=ssl

"weightage"-> weight

"comfortable dressing" -> "smart casual" is the usual phrase.

"economical setups" -> business situations

Perhaps some further reading around the topic or checking on google books would help you find the usual phrases, and thus lift your score.

[TRACY GONG]

Hi Simon, this question has two parts:

1)Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress,

2)because what matters is the quality of their work.

but in your essay, it seems that you only mentioned the first part question. One paragraph against it and one paragraph in favour of it.

Is it okay to ignore the second part? I am confused. Hope for your reply.

Tracy

[Kandi]

Hi Tracy

The logic on which the question is based is that "the quality of their work" is the overriding criterion, and that the way they dress has no impact on their performance or outcomes.

Simon argues that in some jobs this logic is correct and dress does not affect performance, but in some other jobs dress is part and parcel of the job and crucial to outcomes. So both parts of the question are addressed.

[NVid]

as we can see in the new modern work spaces infrastructure such as Google and Apple , the creativity and employees experience is more emportant than the uniform .but we cannot ignore the fact in special companies guideline like banks and resturants .

according to the above hypotheses , we can split the companies in 2 seperate categuris :

1. New work spaces - Creative baised companies .

2. Traditional work spaces – guideline based companies .

Start with the modern working spaces, since the creativity and experience are the main tools to create the new ideas for develope the company , therefor the employeers will not focuse on employees uniform.

On the other hand ,in traditional working spaces or mustly the areas where the employees are in direct touch with the customers such as resturants and banks the uniform and dress codes are the main priority to have the best effect of the brand in customer`s mind and keep the space standard and smooth .

At the end from my points of view , none of these optiones could be the fact or standards for all the companies and i cannot say if is it good to uniform the work sapaces or not, it is all depends on companies size , targets and activity.

[DLS]

@ Lucy Chan,

How many words is the different that you found? I believe that if there is only 3 or 4 words different, it would not effect the score.

[Nisha]

Most of my students are hesitate to use 'I'or'my' in their task 2 essays. How can i convince them?

[Simon]

Hi Nisha,

Show them that the question contains the word 'you', and explain that IELTS writing is very different from university academic writing.

Good luck, and keep trying!

[Nikhil Saini]

Hi Simmons,

Hope you are doing well. Could you please have a look at my essay as follows:

Delivering high-quality products to the consumers is the main motive of all the sales companies worldwide which gives them returning customers as a result. Therefore, I strongly agree with the notion that companies are paying more attention towards the improvement of their products/services they offer rather than on small things like how their workers dress-up at the workplace.

There are ample reasons why I believe that, Firstly, in this era of cut-throat-competition one thing matters for several organizations and that are how to get recurring customers and this can be achieved only if the companies have an impressive product. For example Apple Company, they develop high-quality products ranging from smartphones to laptops which provide users better look and feel along with improved security features. Due to such qualities, Apple is the best selling, well-renowned for quality and most popular company among its consumers which gave them recurring clients every year with the launch of new product.

Secondly, Organizations are paying better focus towards enhancing the skill set of their workers by providing them on-the-job training of the latest technologies so that the employees can innovate and upgrade themselves constantly which might give companies an opportunity to stay ahead from their competitors globally. And, such result-oriented approaches are always beneficial for the companies in long run.

On the contrary, there are certain companies who are trying to improve their brand identity. Furthermore, this can be done by introducing the same dress-code among workers which gives organizations and ability to showcase themselves among clients as well organized and professional company.

To conclude, I strongly assert that having same dress code among employees is good for organization branding and giving workers a sense of belongingness towards company but this should not compromise on the price of a low-quality product. The main motive of all the organizations should be offering a high-quality product or service.

[PY]

I am a bit confused over the use of "On the one hand" (in Para.2) as some of the teachers remind us that it is necessary to use "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" in the same essay as they come in pair. Also, I was taught that if we solely write "on the other hand" in the essay, then we don't need to use "on the one hand" in the previous paragraph.

[Artur]

SIMON:

I found one grammatical problem. Correct me if I am wrong:

In the introduction it is written:
for good reason in certain professions.

But should be for a good reason.

[Simon]

Artur,

The phrase "for good reason" is quite common in English. You could think of it as an idiom, which is why is seems to break a grammar rule.

Here's the same question and an explanation on a grammar forum:

https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/418340/for-a-good-reason-difference-in-meaning

[Ubaid]

Simon,

You have written " ....giants like google and facebook..." in body para -1, I think the use of "like" is informal and we should use such as instead of like.

Please Guide.

[saima]

hi
I have some questions due to clothes
-what clothes you want?
-Any type of clothes you want
-what colour do you prefer?
-what is appropriate for this dress?
-would you like to try on the cloth?

[J]

So brilliant. This is very clear and well written. I couldn't help leaving my comment on it.

[Simon]

Thanks J.