IELTS Writing Task 1: band 9 map answer

Today I'm sharing my full answer to the task below.

The maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development.

The diagrams illustrate some proposed changes to the central area of the town of Islip.

It is clear that the principal change to the town will be the construction of a ring road around the centre. Various other developments with regard to shops and housing will accompany the building of this road.

Looking at the map of Islip as it is now, we can see that a main road runs through its centre from east to west. The second map shows the planned pedestrianisation of this road. Traffic will be diverted on to a dual carriageway that will form a ring around the town centre.

Currently there is a row of shops along either side of the main road. However, it appears that the shops along the north side of the new pedestrian street will be demolished to make way for a bus station, shopping centre, car park and new housing area. The shops along the south side of the street will remain, but it seems that the town’s park will be reduced in size so that more new houses can be built within the ring road.

(187 words, band 9)

Comments

[Sharie]

"To make way for a bus station".... can we also say to provide space for...??
Thank you so much.

[David]

It is clear from the maps that there will be a spectacular changes all over the town, with constructing a ring road along with other facilities and removing the countryside area.

[Simon]

Sharie,

Yes, the meaning is the same.

[Sharie]

Mr. Simon,
Regarding the introduction, "The diagrams illustrate some proposed changes to the central area of the town of Islip", I think it only describes the second map, as it shows the changes, but the first one is only showing the present. Is that right?
Thank you sir.

[Chloe]

Hi Simon
Thank you for the posting. Do you think an use of the word ‘exploited’ is appropriate in the sentence, that ‘countryside in northern area will be exploited and replaced to the bus stop, shopping centre and....’

Demolish is very useful vocabulary!
Thank you

[Aaron]

I am aiming at a very high score. Will the repeated use of "a ring" or "a ring road", despite a good and accurate phrase, adversely affect the lexical score?

The sample answer really shows us some very good ways to describe a map. Thanks Simon.

[Wanda]

@Chloe

The issue with 'exploited' would be that it often (but not always) implies unfairness. As Task 1 is supposed to be an objective, unbiased and purely descriptive report, it is better to use words that cannot be construed as conveying some positive or pejorative nuance of approval or disapproval. So 'the countryside will be developed' would be more appropriate for this task. See:
https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/exploit

[Wanda]

@Aaron

There is little alternative to "ring road". Americans use "beltway", but this also implies a freeway, whereas the map only states 'dual carriageway'. "By-pass" suggests only half a ring.

Clarity and accuracy seem to be more important than avoiding occasional repetition.

[Wanda]

@ David

"Spectacular" is not an objective description: it implies enthusiasm and approval on your part. Task 1 should be purely descriptive without commentary or bias.

[sjm]

Everyone

Examiners spend on average around 2 minutes marking your Task 1 writing and they do not 'analyse' every small thing such as the occasional repetition of a word, or whether the introduction includes everything.

Examiners read the task quickly once to get an idea of the number of grammatical and vocabulary errors, and then read it again to check the features have been covered and what level the overview is (if there is one).

[Wanda]

Thank you Mr sjm

[habib]

Thank u sir,for describing completed things in easy way...

[Hoa Nguyen]

Dear teachers and everyone,

I have 01 question that school was not mentioned in both the current map and proposed map. I understand not required to describe all in writing task I, but it is clear that school in the proposed plan will be outside of the ring road and should be included in the essay.

Thank Teacher Simon so much for your teaching in this free blog.

Hope to receive feedback from everyone. Thanks.

[thanhbui]

Hi Mr.Simon and everyone,
I have some questions about this essay.

1. I wrote the summary as "it is clear that significant changes will take place in terms of transport infrastructure"
_ Is the term "transport infrastructure" appropriate to this essay?
_ Is it correct to use plural form of "change" with "in terms of"?
(I saw the usage of plural form in your former essay: http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2011/03/ielts-writing-task-1-building-plans-essay.html)

2. I tried to paraphrase "shops along the south side of the street" as "shops situated to the south of the street". Is it correct?

3. I wrote "school and housing to the south of the map will remain in proposed plan" (as an addition to the second body paragraph)
_ I doubt whether present simple or future simple is more appropriate in this case. (Though I think present simple is better)
_ Is the term "to the south of the map" correct? Can I write it as "at the bottom of the map"?

4. I wrote "new houses will occupy partly the area that is now used for the park". Is this correct?

Thank for your consideration. Sorry if my questions are too long. :)

[Khe]

@ thanhbui

1. "transport infrastructure" is quite vague, and I was left wondering exactly what was meant.

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=in+terms+of+changes+to%2Cin+terms+of+change+to&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cin%20terms%20of%20changes%20to%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cin%20terms%20of%20change%20to%3B%2Cc0

2. https://www.google.com/search?tbo=p&tbm=bks&q=%22along+the+south+side+of+the+street%22&num=10

https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&ei=SeFEW-rQD9DAoATo85WQCQ&q=%22+situated+to+the+south+of+the+street%22&oq=%22+situated+to+the+south+of+the+street%22&gs_l=psy-ab.12...4448.4448.0.6853.1.1.0.0.0.0.200.200.2-1.1.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..0.0.0....0.i-feL6UIxWQ

https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&ei=kOFEW9H8GNXAoASarImAAQ&q=%22on+the+south+side+of+the+street%22&oq=%22on+the+south+side+of+the+street%22&gs_l=psy-ab.3...12248.13109.0.14310.6.6.0.0.0.0.276.535.2-2.2.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..5.0.0....0.l67FAtloUSM

"on the south side" would be okay, but "along" is more accurate.

4. "occupy partly the area": do not split the verb and the object -> partly occupy the area

New housing will be built inside the ring-road ....

3. Although present simple can be used to talk about the future, it usually needs an adverb of time. For instance: He/She/The train/The plane leaves tonight.

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=*+leaves+tonight%2C*+is+leaving+tonight%2C*+will+leave+tonight&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2C%2A%20leaves%20tonight%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bhe%20leaves%20tonight%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BHe%20leaves%20tonight%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bplane%20leaves%20tonight%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Btrain%20leaves%20tonight%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthat%20leaves%20tonight%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bshe%20leaves%20tonight%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2CHe%20is%20leaving%20tonight%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2C%2A%20will%20leave%20tonight%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3BI%20will%20leave%20tonight%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BWe%20will%20leave%20tonight%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BYou%20will%20leave%20tonight%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bwe%20will%20leave%20tonight%3B%2Cc0

3. "to the south of the map" suggests somewhere outside the map area, so would be incorrect in meaning.

https://books.google.co.nz/books?id=F1DCinfUsFgC&pg=PT92&dq=%22the+south+of+the+map%22&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjnv8eQgJXcAhXRBIgKHQIrCF4Q6AEIJzAA#v=onepage&q=%22the%20south%20of%20the%20map%22&f=false

"at the bottom of the map" also seems to refer to an area outside the map drawing, such as the scale or key, so would be incorrect.

https://www.google.com/search?lr=lang_en&tbs=lr%3Alang_1en&tbm=bks&ei=L-VEW6fsBdGJoASC1qDwBQ&q=%22at+the+bottom+of+the+map%22&oq=%22at+the+bottom+of+the+map%22&gs_l=psy-ab.3...173300.177906.0.178347.19.17.2.0.0.0.321.2767.0j8j4j1.13.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..7.0.0....0.z936ITKrJYo

[Abbas Alikhani]

Hello Mr. Simon

I have newly found your website and it's fantastic. I've also started studying IELTS recently. This essay is great and precise.

Thank you so much

[thanh]

Hi simon,
I want to ask you some questions:
- why school and housing outside dual carriageway you didnot mention,and countryside after shops in the north side.And small road to new housing ?
-.I want to ask you why you wrote that ''we can see that a main road runs through its centre from east to west. The second map shows the planned pedestrianisation of this road. Traffic will be diverted on to a dual carriageway that will form a ring around the town centre''.Because I don't understand why in second map you wrote ''pedestrianisation of this road'',so ''this road'' means''a main road'' ,but the main road is a short road which has shops in two sides ,not the road from east to west.And when I search for the definition of traffic that doesnot mean road,so I think 2 sentences are not reasonable''The second map shows the planned pedestrianisation of this road. Traffic will be diverted on to a dual carriageway that will form a ring around the town centre.''

[Bella]

hello Simon,here is my composition.it is appreciated to get your comment to help me make a progress.
The government is about to build a new islip town as planned.As displayed, the main road spreading from the west to east shall be turned to be a pedestrians only,which is surrounded by shops in the south,and bus station,shopping centre and car park in the north. In the east beside the car park, new housing is planned to build. New housings shall be built so that the shopping centre can attract more people there,increasing the sales volume there.
Besides,the new-built islip town center will apply a dual carriage way throughout the town.

[Yosra]

Hi Simon
i have to write two ideas and developed them with out deeply details
Yosra

[DienBienPhu]

(? a row of)
hello Sir, i have a question:
"why are there just One row of shops in Both sides of the main road".
thank you!

[Alireza]

Hi Simon
I was struggling for several months with my writing ability. Unfortunately, there are lots of pamphlets and books in which you could find different writing samples and then you would see that the more bizarre and strange the essays are, the writers evaluate them with higher grades.
I think I am really lucky that I found your website before taking any exam.
Thank you!

[Javlon]

Hi everyone.
I am Javlon. In 13th of October i am going to take IELTS AND I AM PREPARING for that. Can you give some advises how to score higher.
Thank u

[Ngọc]

Dear sir,
Is "make way for" equivalent to "make room for"?

[Tanvir Hayer]

I didn’t mention northwest direction in map will I be penalised

[WH Kwok]

ring road can be paraphrase as circular road

[lanie]

The maps below illustrate the town Islip centre currently and the proposed changes that will happen.

Overall, it is very evident that there will be tremendous development mainly on the construction of the road, some infrastructure like shops and additional residential area.

Currently, residential housing is all in the central part of the town, also the shops are located in the northern part. The main road goes from the east to the west. The park is on the southeast while the school is in the southwest.

In the future, the main road will become roundabout that goes around the centre of the town. In the middle, the shops will be located, that is used to be in the northern part. Additionally, a pedestrian lane will be constructed in replacement of the main road adjacent to the bus station, shopping centre and car park. New housing will be developed beside the car park. Due to the increase of the residential the park will be contracted however, the school area will remain the same.

[Min Nyo Thant]

I just would like to know that why school is not mentioned in any part.

[DEWLZ]

two maps illustrate the original state of a particular area called Islip in a town and plans for its improvement.

It is clear that the significant changes in order to develop consist of six-eight main extends in Islip town centre .Obviously the most visible change is , going to provide a ring road in future instead of main road .

looking into details, while, there are places will be constructed , some places remained unchanged like school , southern shops and houses . Although the park will be at the same place just in a smaller size in order to be built a ring road surrounded the park in its east-west and the main road will be used for people to walk on foot.

In the future in north of the ring road a big shopping center will be built with accesebilities for it like bus station and parking lot .unfortunately or fortunately, northern shops must be destroyed in order to these developments.Also there are additions for housing in north and south of the ring road.

[Aziza]

The maps under show off the centre of a small metropolis recognized as Islip as it is now and plans for its enhancement .
Overall, the major alternate to the city will be the constructing of a ring avenue round the centre. Various one of a kind qualities with regard to shops and housing will accompany the constructing of this road.