IELTS Writing Task 1: 'cement' diagram

Someone asked me for help with the diagram task below. I wrote one paragraph about this diagram in this lesson back in 2012, but I didn't finish the full answer. So let's take another look:

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

Of course, we're going to describe the steps in the cement-making process and the method for making concrete.

But before doing that, we need an introduction and overview. How would you write these two paragraphs?

Comments

[Hakan]

Hi simon
ı wrote introduction paragraph to this task

"the above diagram demonstrate that the process of cement production and its usege as concrete"

does my sentence have any mistake ?

thank you

[gaya]

Hakan:

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2015/05/ielts-writing-task-1-using-in-terms-of.html

"The two diagrams" show/illustrate/outline that the process...

"usage as concrete" -> [Simon's phrase] the method for making concrete

[Ying-Tsen Ko]

1. The two diagrams illustrate the creating processes of cement and concrete respectively.

2. The cement is the one of a material of produce concrete.

[Ravneet kaur]

hi Simon can be write year in overall in bar graph

[Janet.]

Hi Simon,

Your website has been extremely useful.

I would like to ask how often would this kind of diagrams appear in Academic Writing task 1? (Versus graphs describing trends like Line, bar, pie chart...etc)

So far I just practice on graphs describing trends, should I also practice these kinds of diagrams?

Thanks a lot.

[Sjm]

Janet

On average, you can expect around 80% of the time you will get a 'data' task, and around 10% you will get a map, and 10% a process of some kind (Simon calls this a diagram).

You really have to practice all three.

[lycel]

hi simon,i tried to make an overview. is it good?

The diagrams shown describes the production of cement and concrete that is used on building construction.

[arch1001face]

The two diagrams illustrate different stages and equipment in terms of making the cement and using concrete for building purposes.

It is clear that there are five main stages in the production of cement. While only two stages are required to produce concrete.

[paul]

Below two photos introduce the steps along with the tools involved in manufacturing the cement, and how concrete is made by using cement for building applications

As can be seen, five main steps and three tools are involved in making cements while concrete is made in the mixer by using four different materials.

[NOVA]

Concrete and cement production is illustrated in two diagrams.In the first diagram (on the left) cement production begins with the crushing and mixing of limestone and clay which are the main materials for the cement. After that process, the resulting powder is heated in rotating heater and cement is produced by the last grinder step.
Concrete and cement production is illustrated in two diagrams.In the first diagram (on the left) cement production begins with the crushing and mixing of limestone and clay which are the main materials for the cement. After that process, the resulting powder is heated in rotating heater and cement is produced by the last grinder step.
In the second diagram (on right) it shows the making concrete which is produced by mixing of cement, water, sand, gravel with the percentages of 15, 10, 25, 50 % respectively.

[Samaneh]

The diagrams illustrate the procedure of making cement and then the formula with which building concrete is produced.

It is clear that there are 5 stages in the production of cement with the help of 4 equipment. While the concrete is made with a mixture of 4 materials with different proportion.

[Ahmed]

The given pictures display the step by step procedure in making cement from different materials, and the usage of cement for the concrete production with the purpose of building.

Cement production starts with two materials requiring four equipments to complete the phases. After that, having the cement ready it needs three more things each sharing a fixed amount of percentage to get the concrete out of the mixer.

[gaya]

lycel

It is more common to use "shows", "indicates","represents",or "illustrates" as the verb with "the diagram". https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=the+diagram+*_VERB%2Cthe+diagram+illustrates%2Cthe+diagram+describes&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Cthe%20diagram%20%2A_VERB%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bthe%20diagram%20is_VERB%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20diagram%20are_VERB%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20diagram%20shows_VERB%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20diagram%20shown_VERB%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20diagram%20represents_VERB%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20diagram%20will_VERB%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20diagram%20can_VERB%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20diagram%20indicates_VERB%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20diagram%20has_VERB%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bthe%20diagram%20would_VERB%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cthe%20diagram%20illustrates%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cthe%20diagram%20describes%3B%2Cc0

-> in/for (building) construction.

arch1001face:

"While" (when used as a conjunction in the sense of "whereas") joins two contrasting ideas together into a single sentence.

paul:

-> The two photos introduce

The topic is cement in general so no article: manufacturing the cement

"Cement" is uncountable, especially when talking in general -> making cement [no 's']

Samaneh:

Most style guides for English recommend writing out single word numbers in full:
-> five stages... four materials

Ahmed/Samaneh:
Some words that are countable in other languages are in fact not countable in English. "Equipment, advice, information, furniture" are common examples and often misused. -> four items/pieces of equipment.

Ahmed:

-> The pictures given .... [Many past participles follow the noun rather than precede it.]

Try to avoid the word 'things' in IELTS, as the examiner might infer that you do not know a more accurate word. -> ingredients [in this context]

-> each in a fixed percentage

"to get the concrete out of the mixer.": -> to produce concrete.

[Hang]

Introduction
The two diagrams demonstrate how the cement production works as well as the process of concrete production for construction industry.
Overview
If we look at the left diagram, it is clear that the mainly ingredients in making cement are limestone and clay. On the other hand, we need cement, water, sand and gravel in order to compose the paste of concrete.

[Tae]

The pictures illustrate the process of cement production and how to create concrete for building construction.

It is clear that the cement production uses two distinct row materials and four different machines. The concrete production requires three elements other than cement.

[cara]

@ Hang

If we are talking about "cement production" in general, then no article is needed. If you put "the" in front, then I ask myself which particular type of cement production is being referred to?

On the other hand, we need "the" in front of "process" as it refers to one particular type of process, namely, concrete production.

-> to make up the correct mix for concrete.

Tae:

->raw materials [spelling]

[Annie]

A glance at given charts shows how cement and concrete are produced. In general, the production of cement is more complex than that of concrete.

[Hang]

Cara
Thank you for Your time.

[cara]

The diagrams illustrate the steps and machinery used in cement and concrete production.

With regard to cement, there are two components and five steps involved in manufacturing the finished product, which then becomes one of the four ingredients in the one-step process of mixing concrete ready for pouring.

[Claire]

The two diagrams show the procedures of making cement and concrete.
The process of cement production involves 5 steps and 4 machines, while the concrete is made just by one step and 4 materials

[Pengxin Chen]

The diagrams illustrate how cement is prodeced and used for concrete production for building purpose.

Overall, the producion of cement involves four stages with differetn equippment, while the concrete production only has one step with four ingredients and a concrete mixer.

[Ahmed]

Thanks gaya,

I appreciate your correction and suggestion.

[Samaneh]

@ Gaya
I would like to thank you... it means a lot to me...

[cara]

Annie

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2016/01/ielts-writing-task-1-dont-use-these-phrases.html

The person reading your report may not have the diagrams to look at.

[May]

The graphics illustrates the different phases and equipment used in manufacturing cement, and how the latter is used in the production of concrete for building purposes.

Overall,the cement manufacturing is a 6 stages, linear process, starts with adding limestone and clay as raw materials into a crusher and ends with cement being packed into bags. The concrete production is a 2 stages process, starts with adding cement, water, sand and gravel into a concrete mixer and ending with concrete production.

[cara]

May

1) The graphics illustrate [no 's']

2) https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=two-stage%2Ctwo-step%2Cthree-stage%2Cthree-step%2Cfour-stage%2Cfour-step%2C+two-stage+process&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Ctwo%20-%20stage%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Ctwo%20-%20step%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cthree%20-%20stage%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cthree%20-%20step%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cfour%20-%20stage%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cfour%20-%20step%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Ctwo%20-%20stage%20process%3B%2Cc0

This is similar to "a two-year-old" [no 's']

3) There is too much detail in the overview, leaving nothing to be said in the detail paragraphs:

-> Overall, the cement manufacturing is a six-stage, linear process, from raw materials to finished product. [I make it five stages only] The concrete production is a two-stage process,[I make it one] from ingredients to concrete production.

The raw materials for cement are X and Y, and these are first ... etc.

[Gabbi]

Good evening, i would appreciate feedback on my aporoach, thanks :)

The flow charts illustrate the different steps nvolved in producing cement and its development into concrete for construction purposes. The production of cement is a four-stage process, while concrete formation is a two-stage one.

[Gabbi]

Sorry meant to put five stage XD

[Anna]

The first picture explains how cement is made and the second diagram illustrates the procedure of building concrete.

When making cement, two ingredients have been processed through four different machines. While four components, including cement, are mixed to produce the concrete for construction work.

[Sunita]

Anna

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2010/11/ielts-grammar-however-and-whereas.html

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2018/07/ielts-writing-task-1-while-sentences.html

http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2010/11/ielts-grammar-while-whilst-whereas-as.html

[Onur B]

Introduction

This two diagrams separately demonstrate that how production of cement and cement material. First diagram shows cements production and second one process of the concrete.

Overview

According the first diagram cement consisted with clay and limestone at the beginning. First these two materials go to the crusher than go through to mixer together with powder. After the crushing operation mix goes into the rotating heater and grinding process and finally cement consisted and makes packet in order to usage. The second diagram demonstrate concrete consisted mixing of four separate materials. Cement as %15, Water as %10, Gravel as %50, sand as %25 mix into the concrete mixer and concrete will be consisted.

[Anna]

Hi, Sunita

Thank you for your correction. I really appreciate your help.

[Tibby]

These two drafts illustrate how cement is produced first and then being manufactured into concrete.
We can see that cement production requires two raw materials and contains five stages while concrete production is simlply a mixing of cement, water, sand and gravel.

[Kwan]

The diagrams illustrate how cement and concrete are produced as well as the equipment involved in the cement production process.

It is clear that there are mainly five procedures in producing cement. It can also be seen that four ingredients are needed in the production of concrete.

[Mahdi Hajizadeh Zaker]

Hi Dear Simon ,

I have a question.

If we write "50 percent" , does it count as one word or two words?

What about "two dollars" compared to $2?

[Simon]

Good question Mahdi.

My computer counts "50 percent" or "two dollars" as two words, but "50%" and "$2" as only one word.

This is how I would count them too.