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April 24, 2019

IELTS Writing Task 2: improve the sentences

Here are some sentences that people wrote below last Wednesday's lesson. Each sentence is 'awkward' in some way, so can you rewrite and improve them?

  1. It is true that media communication has several types such as books, radio and television.
  2. As far as I am concerned, I think that the most advantageous is television.
  3. I, however, prefer mostly TV is the best choice of communication's tools.
  4. Different types of medium have their own benefits and drawbacks based on their own features for communication of information.
  5. It is true that the media plays a major role in communications in recent years.

Comments

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1. It is true that communication is carried out with several types of media such as books, radio and television.

2.As far as I’m concerned,I think television has greater number of advantages.

3. However, I think TV is the best source of communication / best communicational tool.

4. Different types of media have their own benefits and drawbacks based on the features related to communication.

5. It is true that (particular type like print media) media play a vital role in communication during recent years.

Posted by: Iqra | April 25, 2019 at 00:26

Hi Simon,

I have a question about discussion and opinion essay. Is it necessary to favour one idea or can we write in favour of both views like both views are equally important..?

Thank you.

Posted by: Iqra | April 25, 2019 at 00:47

Dear Igra,
I think you have 3 choices of demonstrating your opinion essay: agree, disagree or neutral (both agree and disagree). And it depends on your opinion about a particular topic, you should find out which way would be more beneficial for you

Posted by: Henry | April 25, 2019 at 01:28

1) It is true that there are different types of media communication in this modern world such as radios, books and television.

2) In my opinion, I think that television is the most advantageous form of media communication.

3) However, I believe television is the best communication channel in this world.

4) I believe that all media channels has its own benefits and drawbacks, and it depends on the features of the information.

5) It is true that media plays an important role on effective communications in these recent years.

Posted by: Miyako | April 25, 2019 at 01:55

Sentence 3 is mine. Can anyone say why it is not a good one? I may think this sentence is really understandable.

Posted by: Akter | April 25, 2019 at 05:18

1. It is true that media communication includes books, radio and television.
2. As far as I am concerned, I think television is the best choice.
3. However, I prefer TV the most as the best tool of communication.
4. Different types of medium have their own benefits and drawbacks due to the exclusive ways to deliver information and features.
5. It is true that the media has become an indispensable part of peoples’ communication.

Posted by: Harry | April 25, 2019 at 05:35

1. It is true that there are several different types of media communication, such as books, radio and television.
2. As far as I am concerned, television is the most advantageous medium of the three media.
3. However, I would argue that TV is the best choice among these communication tools.
5. It is true that the media plays a major role in our communications nowadays.

Posted by: suzy | April 25, 2019 at 06:37

Hi ,
here are the sentences I rewrote:


1- Media communication entails/includes several types like books, radio and television.
2- As far as I am concerned, The most advantageous media is Television.
3- However, I think (that) TV is the best choice of communication tools.
4- Each type of media has its own benefits and drawbacks based on their own features in communicating information.
5- It is true that media has played a major role in communication in recent years .

Posted by: Arash | April 25, 2019 at 09:19

Corrected : The most advantageous medium is TV. As Media is plural and its singular form is media. Words ending -a are plural and words ending -um are singular such as : media-medium/ data-datum/ Bacteria-bacterium/Curricula-curriculum/criteria-criterion .
-a/-um
-a/-on like criteria-criterion
-i/-us like fungi-fungus
Thanks

Posted by: Arash | April 25, 2019 at 09:24

Please evaluate my essay!

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It has often been argued that people have to face critical social and practical issues when they choose to reside in nations where the spoken language is unfamiliar to them. I fully support this viewpoint as many individuals find difficulties in making friends as well as in searching for jobs when they live in such countries.

Many foreigners are often unable to make relations with the local people when they migrate to foreign countries. As their native languages are different than the languages they have to speak in such areas, they usually find challenges in sharing ideas with people around them and in understanding the foreign culture. For instance, most visitors from the United States or the United Kingdom face difficulties in making friendly relationships with the Indian people as they usually lack the ability to speak Hindi clearly.

People might have lesser work opportunities when they migrate to a country where the spoken language is different than their mother tongue. This is primarily because most employers prefer only those employees who have a good command over the local language so that they can perform efficiently at certain jobs, such as marketing, selling, and customer care. For example, in 2018, about 10% Indian people were unemployed in Canada because they got less than a band 6 in the IELTS exam, and thus could not communicate in the English language during their job interviews.

In conclusion, I completely agree with the argument that the challenges related to developing connections with the local people and finding employment are common when people select to live in states where they have to speak a foreign language.

Posted by: Vishaal | April 25, 2019 at 11:49

FROM SIMON:

First, here's a quick description of the 'awkward' aspects of each sentence:

1. "communication has several types" would be better as: "there are several forms of communication". It seems strange to describe communication as "having" types.

2. "As far as I am concerned, I think that" - no need for two opinion phrases.

3. "I prefer mostly TV is the best" - the two verbs (prefer, is) don't work together like this. Either write "I prefer TV" or write "TV is the best".

Also, "communication's tools" is strange - don't use the possessive here.

4. There's nothing really wrong in terms of grammar, but this sentence seems clumsy to me. Maybe the repeated use of "their own" is the problem.

5. "in recent years" is best used with the present perfect "has played" instead of the present simple "plays".

Posted by: Simon | April 25, 2019 at 14:22

FROM SIMON continued:

Here are my versions of the sentences:

1. Several different media are used for the communication of information, including books, radio and television.

2. In my opinion, television is the most effective of these media.

3. I believe that television is the best tool for the communication of information.

4. Each of these media has its beneficial features, as well as its drawbacks.

5. It is true that all of these media forms have played a major role in communication in recent years.

TIP: When correcting or improving a student's sentence, the first thing that I usually do is simplify it. Hopefully you can see that I've done this in my answers above.

Posted by: Simon | April 25, 2019 at 14:34

Vishaal

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=to+make+relations+with%2C*_VERB+new+relationships%2C+*_VERB+new+friendships&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cto%20make%20relations%20with%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2C%2A_VERB%20new%20relationships%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bestablish_VERB%20new%20relationships%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bform_VERB%20new%20relationships%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bestablishing_VERB%20new%20relationships%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdevelop_VERB%20new%20relationships%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bsee_VERB%20new%20relationships%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcreate_VERB%20new%20relationships%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bforming_VERB%20new%20relationships%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdiscover_VERB%20new%20relationships%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcreating_VERB%20new%20relationships%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdeveloping_VERB%20new%20relationships%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2C%2A_VERB%20new%20friendships%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bform_VERB%20new%20friendships%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bforming_VERB%20new%20friendships%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bmake_VERB%20new%20friendships%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bmaking_VERB%20new%20friendships%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bformed_VERB%20new%20friendships%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bmade_VERB%20new%20friendships%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bdevelop_VERB%20new%20friendships%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bestablish_VERB%20new%20friendships%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bseek_VERB%20new%20friendships%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcontract_VERB%20new%20friendships%3B%2Cc0

https://www.google.com/search?hl=uk&tbm=bks&ei=fjDDXI_TMcGH9QPe76-wDg&q=%22about+20+%25+of+people%22&oq=%22about+20+%25+of+people%22&gs_l=psy-ab.3...187434.188921.0.189371.5.5.0.0.0.0.258.930.0j4j1.5.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..0.0.0....0.ci5em89p_Ck

-> about ten per cent of Indian people

Posted by: zara | April 26, 2019 at 17:28

3. In English, possesive form 's used for animal and human, for things and places they use of+noun

Posted by: Luu | April 28, 2019 at 17:18

Luu

The possessive/genitive is in fact sometimes used with inanimate nouns, as the following demonstrate:

"By definition, no two records can have identical values for the fields that define the table's primary key."

https://www.google.com/search?q=%22table%27s%22&tbm=bks&lr=lang_en

https://www.google.com/search?lr=lang_en&tbs=lr%3Alang_1en&tbm=bks&ei=pOzFXMuTII-wrQHbtYPYBA&q=%22graph%27s%22&oq=%22graph%27s%22&gs_l=psy-ab.3..0i19k1l10.341505.341505.0.342488.1.1.0.0.0.0.191.191.0j1.1.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..0.1.189....0.mtNWMsAArDM

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=table%27s%2Cchart%27s%2Cgraphs%27%2Coperation%27s&case_insensitive=on&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t4%3B%2Ctable%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Btable%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BTable%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cchart%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bchart%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BChart%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cgraphs%20%27%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bgraphs%20%27%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BGraphs%20%27%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Coperation%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Boperation%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BOperation%20%27s%3B%2Cc0

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=company%27s%2Cgovernment%27s%2Cyesterday%27s%2Ctoday%27s%2Ctwo+weeks%27%2Csystem%27s%2Cdistance%27s%2Cpoints%27%2Cdoor%27s%2Cstates%27%2Ccountries%27%2Cproposal%27s&case_insensitive=on&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t4%3B%2Ccompany%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bcompany%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BCompany%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cgovernment%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bgovernment%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BGovernment%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cyesterday%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Byesterday%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BYesterday%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Ctoday%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Btoday%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BToday%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Ctwo%20weeks%20%27%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Btwo%20weeks%20%27%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BTwo%20weeks%20%27%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Csystem%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bsystem%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BSystem%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cdistance%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bdistance%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BDistance%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cpoints%20%27%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bpoints%20%27%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BPoints%20%27%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BPOINTS%20%27%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cdoor%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bdoor%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BDoor%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cstates%20%27%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3BStates%20%27%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bstates%20%27%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Ccountries%20%27%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bcountries%20%27%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BCountries%20%27%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Cproposal%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bproposal%20%27s%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BProposal%20%27s%3B%2Cc0

Posted by: Sunita | April 28, 2019 at 19:19

1. There are various types of mediums to communicate information which include but not limited to the books, television, comics, films, and theatre.

2. Out of all these options, I find that television is the most effective channel to share the information.

3. However, I believe that television is the best tool for communication.

4. Based on their features, different types of communication mediums have their own benefits and drawbacks.

5. It is true that all of these media channels plan an important role in communication.

Posted by: Sunil | May 02, 2019 at 01:20

1. It is true that communicating information exists in different forms such as books, radio and television.
2. As far as effectiveness in communication is concerned, I think that the most advantageous is television.
3. I, however,mainly prefer TV as the best form of communication tool.
4. Different forms of media have their own benefits and drawbacks based on their own features for communication of information.
5. It is true that the media plays a major role in communication nowadays.

Posted by: tim | May 09, 2019 at 10:38

Thank you Sir for your lesson.

Regarding your version in the number 3. (I believe that television is the best tool for the communication of information.), what if I use a version like:

I believe that television is the best tool for communicating information.

Thanks again.

Posted by: SuwandiK | July 30, 2019 at 22:44

1. It is true that there are several communication forms such as books, radio, and television.
2. As far as I am concerned, the most advantageous medium should be television.
3. I, however, believe that TV is the best choice as a communication method.
4. Based on different features for communicating information, every medium has both benefits and drawbacks.
5. It is true that media are playing major roles in our daily communications.

Posted by: Emily | September 04, 2019 at 03:47

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