IELTS General Writing: formal letter mistakes

Here are some sentences that people wrote in the comments area below last Saturday's lesson. Can you find and correct the mistakes?

1. I wanted to say you some informations is not correct.
2. The festival holds on the 24th of December every year.
3. I ask you to correct this article and be reposted for your next magazine.
4. At on onset, I would thanks to you that you published a article.
5. I suggest you employ staff from all over the world. Because native well know about their country.

Comments

[Leo]

Hello Simon.

This is my suggested correction
1. I wanted to say to you that some information is not correct
2. The festival is held on the 24th of December every year.
3. I ask you to correct this article and be posted for your next issue.
4. At the onset, I would like to thank you for publishing the article.
5. I suggest you employ staff from all around the world, because natives know better about their own country.

Thanks

[Matt]

1. What I wanted to tell you was that some of the information is not correct.
2. The festival is being held on December 24th, every year.
3. Please (I want to ask you) correct this article and republish to the next issue.
4. To begin with, I would like to say thank you for your published article.
5. Since natives are the only people who know their countries well, I suggest you employ some staff from all over the world.

[cara]

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=I+wish+to+notify+you%2CPlease+note+that%2CI+wish+to+advise+that%2CPlease+be+advised+that%2CI+am+writing+to+advise%2CI+am+writing+to+notify%2CI+write+to+advise&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2CI%20wish%20to%20notify%20you%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2CPlease%20note%20that%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2CI%20wish%20to%20advise%20that%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2CPlease%20be%20advised%20that%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2CI%20am%20writing%20to%20advise%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2CI%20am%20writing%20to%20notify%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2CI%20write%20to%20advise%3B%2Cc0

Please note that "want" would be less formal than "wish" in letters.

https://www.google.com/search?q=%22festival%20is%20held%20on%22&tbm=bks&lr=lang_en

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=correction+to+be+*%2Ccorrection+to+be+published%2Ccorrection+to+be+posted%2C+publish+a+correction&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Ccorrection%20to%20be%20%2A%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bcorrection%20to%20be%20applied%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcorrection%20to%20be%20made%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcorrection%20to%20be%20added%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcorrection%20to%20be%20subtracted%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcorrection%20to%20be%20used%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcorrection%20to%20be%20performed%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcorrection%20to%20be%20initialled%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcorrection%20to%20be%20obtained%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcorrection%20to%20be%20carried%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bcorrection%20to%20be%20introduced%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Ccorrection%20to%20be%20published%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cpublish%20a%20correction%3B%2Cc0

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=are+more+familiar+with%2Cshould+know+better+than%2Cknow+their+own+country+better&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Care%20more%20familiar%20with%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cshould%20know%20better%20than%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cknow%20their%20own%20country%20better%3B%2Cc0

[prince kumar]

1 I wanted to say you some information is not correct.
2 The festival holds on the 24th of December every year.
3 I ask you to correct this article and be reported for your next magazine.
4 At on onset, I would thanks to you that you published a article.
5 I suggest you employ staff from all over the world. Because native well know about their country.

[Pachu Ray]

My IELTS module is acadamic , but also learning Genaral Trainin cause, I would have to migrate on working purpuses.

[Mirabella]

1.I would like to notify you that some information is not correct.
2.The festival is held on 24th of December every year.
3.Could you please correct the article and republish it in the next issue of the magazine?
4.First, I would like to thank you for the published article.
5.I have a suggestion for you to employ people from different parts of the world, as natives are better aware of their country.

[Beyonce]

Mirabella

Re: "have a suggestion": the commonest usage is as a stand-alone sentence, followed by a full-stop. See here:

https://books.google.co.nz/books?id=2dFQAAAAQBAJ&pg=PA30&dq=%22have+a+suggestion.%22&hl=uk&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiI4Yqhu7bjAhUbT30KHeEeCx0Q6AEIWTAG#v=onepage&q=%22have%20a%20suggestion.%22&f=false

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=have+a+suggestion+*%2C+have+a+suggestion.&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Chave%20a%20suggestion%20%2A%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bhave%20a%20suggestion%20to%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhave%20a%20suggestion%20of%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhave%20a%20suggestion%20for%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhave%20a%20suggestion%20that%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhave%20a%20suggestion%20as%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhave%20a%20suggestion%20or%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhave%20a%20suggestion%20which%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhave%20a%20suggestion%20improved%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhave%20a%20suggestion%20about%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhave%20a%20suggestion%20in%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Chave%20a%20suggestion%20.%3B%2Cc0#t2%3B%2Chave%20a%20suggestion%20*%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bhave%20a%20suggestion%20to%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhave%20a%20suggestion%20of%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhave%20a%20suggestion%20for%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhave%20a%20suggestion%20that%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhave%20a%20suggestion%20as%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhave%20a%20suggestion%20or%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhave%20a%20suggestion%20which%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhave%20a%20suggestion%20improved%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhave%20a%20suggestion%20about%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bhave%20a%20suggestion%20in%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Chave%20a%20suggestion%20.%3B%2Cc0

If the phrase is followed by "for", then "for" preposes the purpose or the person. It is not normal to follow "suggestion" with an "accusative/infinitive" construction. Neither "suggestion", nor "suggest" is normally followed by an infinitive. Thus, neither "I suggest you to employ ..." is grammatically okay, nor is "I have a suggestion for you to employ...".

[Colton]

1. I wanted to tell you some information is not correct.

2. The festival holds in December 24th every year.

3. I ask you to correct this article which will be reposted for your next magazine.

4. At on onset, I would thank you that you published an article.

5. I suggest you employing staff from all over the world. Because native well knows about their country.

[Sally]

1. Some information is not correct.
2. The festival is held on the 24th of December every year.
3. I ask you to update this article and reposted in your next issue.
4. At onset, I would thank to you that you published an article.
5. I suggest you employing staff from all over the world. Because the native knows well about their country.

[Nazanin]

1-I wanted to tell you that some information is not correct.
2-The festival is held on the 24th of December every year.
3-I asked you to correct this article and re-post it for your next magazine.
4-At the onset, I would like to thank you that you published an article.
5-I suggest you to employ staff from all over the world because the natives know well about their country.

[gioletta]

Sally/Nazanin

https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/suggest

Note the section on grammar patterns.

[Kulmala]

1. I would like to tell you that some information is incorrect.
2. The festival is held on December 24th every year.
3. I would like to ask you to correct this article and repost it for your next magazine.
4. First of all, I would like to thank you for publishing the article.
5. I recommend you hire international staff to bring different aspects since native speakers may be biased in their countries.

[Mona]

Kulmala

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=to+bring+different+aspects+*&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cto%20bring%20different%20aspects%20of%3B%2Cc0#t1%3B%2Cto%20bring%20different%20aspects%20of%3B%2Cc0

https://www.google.com/search?q=%22to%20bring%20different%20aspects%20of%22&tbm=bks&lr=lang_en

If you are going to use the phrase "to bring different aspects", then it needs to be followed by "of + NOUN".

[Mirabella]

Beyonce

Thank you for correction.
So if I write: "I suggest you employ people..."
Is it OK?

[Beyonce]

Mirabella

Yes, that's okay. One good trick is always to follow "suggest" with "that", as this helps to get the grammar correct. Thus: I suggest that you employ people ....

Not knowing how to use "suggest" properly is the #1 blunder by non-native speakers; second would be "informations", "advices", "equipments", "furnitures", "staffs", which are mostly uncountable.

[Jade]

Hello Simon,

I recently finished an IELTS test on July,29th, 2019 and result was not ideal. Please kindly look into below task 1 question and kindly advise the proper way to answer the question.

Your company donates and holds events to help certain groups in the community every year. Please write a letter to your company director and suggest the group you would like to help next year:
- explain which group of people you would like you help and why
- what would you suggest your company to do in terms of help the group
- how would it benefit you company

[Sally]

Thank you gioletta!

[ece]

1- I would like to inform you that some information is not correct.
2- The Festival is held every year on 24th of December.
3- I asked you to correct this article and re-post it your next magazine
4- First of all, I would like to say thank you for publishing the article.
5- I suggest that you should search employees from all around the world for utilizing their knowledge about to country.

[Da Nang]

ece

"search employees": this would imply a body-search like the police or border officers do when searching for drugs.
-> search for employees

-> in order to utilize their knowledge about their own country.

[ece]

Da Nang, Thank you for correction.
I appreciate it :)

[Bella]

1. I wanted to tell you (that) some information was not correct.
2. The festival is held on the 24th of December every year.
3. I ask you to correct this article and repost it for your next magazine.
4. First,I'd like to thank you for publishing an article.
5. I suggest to employee staff from all over the world because native people know abou their country well.

[Lin]

1. I kindly inform you that some of the information in the magazine is incorrect.
2. The festival uses to hold on the 24th of December every year.
3. I request you to update this article and inform correct one in the next magazine.
4. First, It is our pleasure that you published an article.
5. I suggest you to hire staffs who come from around the world, because natives are well know about their countries.

[preeti]

I wanted to say you that some of the information is incorrect.
The festival will be held on the 24th of December every year.
I ask you to correct this article and repost it in your next magazine.
First of all, I would like to thank you for publishing the article.
I suggest you employ staff from all over the world because natives are well familier about their country.

[preeti]

I wanted to say you that some of the information is incorrect.
The festival will began on the 24th of December every year.
I ask you to correct this article and repost it in your next magazine.
First of all, I would like to thank you for publishing the article.
I suggest you employ staff from all over the world because natives are well familier about their country.