When describing process diagrams, many people struggle to write a good overview or summary of the information.
Have another look at the task that I shared last week:
Here's my 2-sentence overview, summarising the information:
The factory-made fish pie contains four ingredients, and there are ten stages in its production, from delivery to dispatch. One of the ingredients, potato, goes through its own six-stage preparation process before it can be added to the pie.
Thank you Simon,
I want to know why you think there are ten stages. Because both salmon and potato each pass through distinct stages and in total it is more than 10 stages.
Posted by: Nick | August 15, 2019 at 23:10
Thank you Simon a lot
It is confusing because I thought we need to mention both potato and salmon stages in overview!?
Posted by: Hang Truong | August 16, 2019 at 01:36
Your writing always puts a smile on my face.
I have the same reaction whenever i see a simple, elegant and "easy" solution to a complex math problem.
Posted by: shokhrukh | August 16, 2019 at 06:20
Hi Simon,
Recently I came across some problems about agree or disagree type of essay. The title is 'Some people from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get university education. Universities have to make it easy to let them in, especially for those groups. To what extent do you agree or not?'
1. I paraphrased 'Universities have to make it easy to let them in' to 'universities should lower their admission criteria for students from disadvantaged backgrounds.' Is this ok?
2. In two body paras, I write one benefits respectively brought by making everyone accessible to tertiary education. But my friend suggested me to talk about several benefits as well as what universities should to lower admission criteria.
I feel much confused about what I should write now and there is only several days left to prepare. Could you please reply me?
Thank you so much!!!
Posted by: Yiqing | August 16, 2019 at 06:33
Yiqing
https://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2012/03/ielts-writing-task-2-agree-disagree-or-both.html
https://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2019/03/ielts-writing-task-2-make-your-position-clear.html
https://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2019/06/ielts-writing-task-2-the-big-mistake.html
https://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2013/11/ielts-writing-task-2-balanced-answer-for-agreedisagree.html
https://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2019/03/ielts-writing-task-2-opinion-not-discussion.html
https://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2017/04/ielts-writing-task-2-agree-or-disagree-essay-samples.html
Posted by: Mambo | August 16, 2019 at 20:06
The process of manufacturing a fish pie is inclusive of four different ingredients (potato, fish, peas and sauce) going through ten steps to make it ready for commercial, from delivery to dispatch. One of the ingredients, potato, is processed preliminarily in a six-stage production before adding to the pie.
Posted by: ChoMap | August 17, 2019 at 05:58
ChoMap
The meaning of "inclusive of" does not seem to fit the context.
https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/inclusive
https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/inclusive
https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=is+inclusive+of+*%2Cis+inclusive+of+the+*%2Cis+inclusive+of+all+*&case_insensitive=on&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t2%3B%2Cis%20inclusive%20of%20%2A%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20the%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20all%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20both%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20a%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20any%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20those%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20women%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20its%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20everything%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20other%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2Cis%20inclusive%20of%20the%20%2A%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20the%20other%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20the%20whole%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20the%20cost%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20the%20entire%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20the%20following%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20the%20two%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20the%20words%3B%2Cc0%3B.t2%3B%2Cis%20inclusive%20of%20all%20%2A%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20all%20the%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20all%20of%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20all%20people%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20all%20that%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20all%20other%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20all%20being%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20all%20forms%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20all%20those%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20all%20types%3B%2Cc0%3B%3Bis%20inclusive%20of%20all%20who%3B%2Cc0
"make it ready for commercial" -> create the finished product.
https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=make+it+ready+for+commercial%2Cready+for+the+market%2Ccreate+the+finished+product&case_insensitive=on&year_start=1960&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cready%20for%20the%20market%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Ccreate%20the%20finished%20product%3B%2Cc0
Note the passive gerund:
-> is pre-processed on a six-stage production line before being added to the pie.
Posted by: Magda | August 17, 2019 at 19:40
Hi Simon and everyone.
Please take a look my writing.
It is 226 words and too long:(
These two pictures illustrate a fish pie and how to make the fish pie in the factory.
This fish pie contains four ingredients, and there are four main steps to produce fish pie. Also, one of the elements, potatoes, goes through six steps before adding them to the fish pie.
The fish pie consists of fish, peas, sauce and sliced potatoes that lay on the top of the pie in a microwavable container. Firstly, a track delivers potatoes, and these potatoes are washed and peeled within one month. These peeled potatoes are sliced. Then these sliced potatoes are boiled and chilled. Finally, these potatoes are ready to add to the fish pies.
Looking at the production of fish pies. A track delivered fresh salmons, and these fresh fishes need to be prepared for less than 12 hours. The first step is that lemon juice and salt are added to these fishes, then these prepared fishes go through a steam oven. The second step is that these cooked fish's borns and skins are removed by hands. Then an inspector checks the quality of fishes. Next step is that prepared peas and sauce are combined with the cooked salmons. After that, these prepared sliced potatoes go on the top of the pies. Finally, these fish pie are wrapped and froze, and these frozen pies are ready to store and dispatch.
Posted by: Tae | August 18, 2019 at 08:17
Tae
"Cross section" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiview_projection#Section
-> The first diagram shows a cross section of a fish pie, and the second shows the manufacturing process.
"before adding them " -> before being added
-> There is a supplementary/auxiliary/preparatory production line for potatoes, .....
"The fish pie consists" -> The finished product ...
"a track " -> a truck
"These potatoes are washed and peeled within one month": no, it's the lead time that is one month, that is, the time from ordering to delivery.
The potatoes are washed and peeled before being sliced. Then they are boiled and chilled. At this stage, they are held ready to add to the fish pies.
"Looking at the production of fish pies. ": not a sentence. Does not contain a finite verb. Link to next sentence with a comma.
"these fresh fishes need to be prepared for less than 12 hours": again it is lead time.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lead_time
"fish" is not often pluralized.
"these fish pies "
Posted by: Magda | August 18, 2019 at 18:34
FROM SIMON:
Nick,
It doesn't matter how many stages you or I count, as long as you are consistent within your answer. So, if I say that there are 10 stages, I just need to stick to that number and organise my answer accordingly.
I hope this makes sense!
Posted by: Simon | August 19, 2019 at 15:49
Hi Simon,
Thank you for your answer. This was something that I was always worried about!
Posted by: Nick | August 19, 2019 at 18:39
Magda.
I appreciate your comments.
Ive learnt some phrases from you.
'Cross section'. This is new word for me.
I did not know about 'fish' is not often pluralised.
'The lead time'... I better think about it.
Posted by: Tae | August 20, 2019 at 08:21
Magda.
Thanks a lot for your feedback.
Posted by: ChoMap | August 23, 2019 at 12:20
the chart below shows information about calorie consumption in seven countries in 1975 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant
Posted by: Laura Swan | September 03, 2019 at 09:20
This diagram illustrates the process of making fish pie in a factory.
Overall, the procedure involves ten steps, six of which include the processing of potatoes alone.
First of all, salmon and potatoes are delivered to the processing units.Potatoes are cleaned,peeled,sliced and then stored after bioling and chilling.Lemon juice and salt is added to the fresh salmon supplies, which are next steamed and workers remove bones and waste materials from them. Following inspection of fish, prepared peas and sauce are added along with processed potatoes. The final product is wrapped and freezed, which is either stored or dispatched.
Posted by: huzaifa | September 03, 2019 at 13:21