IELTS Grammar: corrections

Here are my corrections for the sentences in yesterday's lesson.

1. "There are many reasons to believe why" is a clumsy phrase. Instead, write:

- There are many reasons why this is detrimental.
- There are many reasons why I believe that this is detrimental.
- I believe that this is detrimental for several reasons.

2. They have an impact on young adults' health. (plural possessive)

3. We need to use the uncountable (not plural) form of the word exercise. We're talking about 'exercise' in general, not a specific number of exercises.

- The number of people doing physical exercise is falling.

4. "By spending hours on television" is a problematic phrase because "on television" is usually used when we're talking about the people who appear on TV. For example, if you say "I was on television yesterday", it means that you appeared on a TV programme. To avoid confusion, we need to write:

- By spending hours watching television...
- We lead a sedentary life because we spend so many hours watching TV.

Comments

[Darshpreet Singh]

Thank you Mr. Simon, you are the one who teaches in genuine way, otherwise the rest of the world is doing non-sense and exploiting the time and money of students. Thank you very much sir!

[Simon]

Thanks Darshpreet. I’m very happy to read comments like yours!

[Pachu]

Simon sir, please make a live lesson also if possible for IELTS because I have not seen live anywhere ? also please make a video for writing what the examiner first notice while checking reports and essays for students in real exam?

[Sagar]

Hello Simon,

For the fourth sentence mentioned above can we write 'By spending hours in front of a TV...' instead of writing 'By spending hours watching TV'?

[Vishaal]

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned
substances to improve their performance.
What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

The use of strength promoting drugs has been on the rise among players of national or international tournaments. Lack of training facilities and high expectations of coaches and followers of sports are causing this concern, but the support from a government, in terms of fund and awareness program, can certainly help to mitigate the issue.

Many athletes are forced to consume prohibited pills to enhance their games due to the lack of trainers or equipment. Without experienced coaches and advanced training machines, it becomes difficult for players to learn proper techniques and gain strength to perform well in their games. This leaves them with no other option than to use prohibited compounds in order to showcase their performance to the world. To improve this situation, state authorities should allocate more funds to develop better facilities for players who represent their country to the world and to hire the best coaches in the world. This benefit would certainly prevent any athlete from choosing an easy option, and instead, motivate them to work hard to return the favor to their governments.

High pressure from trainers and fans to perform well in all games is the other cause of this problem. Many sports lovers start criticizing their favorite players when they fail to play well in one or a few matches. To avoid this situation and to please the country’s people in every match, many participants of reputed sports have to rely on the artificial means of boosting strength and hence performance. To curb this issue, a government should run a public awareness campaign to educate people about the life-threatening adverse effects of performance-boosting compounds. After gaining this knowledge, no player would think of consuming chemicals that put their lives in danger just to fulfill people’s unrealistic expectations.

To conclude, although deficient facilities for learning games and performance pressure persuade more and more players to ingest steroidal pills, governments could definitely help to alter this situation by investing more money in creating advanced training facilities and by making people aware of the dangerous effects of such drugs.