IELTS Writing Task 1: two-chart answer

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category or exports in 2016 compared with 2015.

(Source: Cambridge IELTS 14)

Here's my band 9 sample answer:

The bar chart and table give information about a country's export earnings from five groups of products in 2015 and 2016.

It is noticeable that export revenues in all but one of the five product categories increased over the period shown. While petroleum products were the highest earning exports in both years, the textile industry saw the most significant growth in earnings.

Export earnings from petroleum products rose from around $61 billion in 2015 to $63 billion in 2016, which was an increase of 3%. Income from engineered goods reached a similar level. The country’s export earnings from these goods went up by 8.5% to approximately $62 billion in 2016.

From 2015 to 2016, there was a 15.24% increase in export revenue from textiles, with earnings rising from roughly $25 billion to over $30 billion. By contrast, there was almost no change in the amount of money earned from agricultural products, which remained at just over $30 billion. Finally, the only decline in income occurred in the gems and jewellery product group, where export earnings fell by around 5% to approximately $40 billion in 2016.

Comments

[Ali]

It is also considerable that engineered goods had a 8.5% increase and created an income over $60 billion in 2016, while agricultural products had a slight increment about 0.81% between 2015 and 2016.

[Kata]

Ali

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=It+is+considerable+that%2C+It+is+considered+that&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2CIt%20is%20considerable%20that%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2CIt%20is%20considered%20that%3B%2Cc0#t1%3B%2CIt%20is%20considerable%20that%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2CIt%20is%20considered%20that%3B%2Cc0

"It is considerable that" is a phrase which is no longer in modern usage, apparently having died out in publications in the early nineteenth century.

-> an 8.5%

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=created+an+income%2Cgenerated+an+income%2Cgenerated+earnings&case_insensitive=on&year_start=1900&year_end=2008&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t1%3B%2Ccreated%20an%20income%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cgenerated%20an%20income%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Cgenerated%20earnings%3B%2Cc0

-> an increment of about 0.81%

[Jin]

Export earnings from petroleum products rose from around $61 billion in 2015 to $63 billion in 2016, which was an increase of 3%.

I am sorry but I am confused about this sentence...
I think that the earnings should be 'to $64 billion'? because the earnings rose by 3%? or is it ok to be the number($63) because of 'around'?

Thank you for reading my comment :)

[Simon]

Hi Jin,

3% is not the same as $3 billion.

I think you are thinking about billions instead of the percentage. Do you see what I mean?

[Rabia]

Hello sir,
My question is about writing task 1. Sometimes , there is just one bar chart with not much details. In this case how to expand answer to reach the required words count. ?

[Aleksandra Anna Cichomska-Bucholc]

The two graphs present information about the changes that occurred in a country's export earning, betwwen2015 and 2016, calculated by the total money income and by percentage variations for 5 types of goods.

It is noticeable that as a whole the export revenues over a one- year old period increased. In detail, in 4 categories, namely Petroleum, Engineered Goods, Agriculture and Textile a positive trend was observed.

The difference, however, was no striking for Petroleum and Agriculture products with only 3% and 0.81% growth, with only 2 billion and 1 billion more money earned, from 60 to 62 billion and from 30 to 31 billion respectively.
Engineered goods and Textiles provides more inconme for the country with more significant differences. In total money calculation, this was an increase by 6 billion, from 56 to 62 and from 26 to32 respectively for both the above-mentioned categories. But the level of changes is more clearly by ratio where the earning from textiles reached the highest level, with a 15.24% gain, in comparison to other categories including engineering goods with also a high 8.5% increase.

Finally, only, for one in five, namely jewellery, a slight fall in earnings was detected, by 2 billion, from 42 to 40, with by ratio a 5.18 decline

[Jason]

From 2015 to 2016, there was a 15.24% increase in export revenue from textiles, with earnings rising from roughly $25 billion to over $30 billion.
Can I ask why we write (with earning rising) after the comma? I really wanna know the structure of that sentence. Thanks Simon

[Binh]

Dear Simon,
I didn't understand the sentence: "It is noticeable that export revenues in all but one of the five product categories increased over the period shown."
I saw we need to change the verb "decreased" rather than "increased".
So that, I was also expected an explain from you. Thanks so much !

[Rose]

Hello Binh, the sentence means all increase except one

[Thanika]

Dear Simon,
I have same question like Binh, why you mention only one product increased revenue?

"It is noticeable that export revenues in all but one of the five product categories increased over the period shown"

[Thao]

"It is noticeable that export revenues in all but one of the five product categories increased over the period shown."
I saw we need to change the verb "decreased" rather than "increased".

Hi Simon, can we replace "but" with "except for"?

[Duyen]

there was a 15.24% increase in export revenue from textiles, with earnings rising from roughly $25 billion to over $30 billion
i use earning rised instead earning rising.Is this right?

[Libelle]

Dear Simon,
I have a question about this sentence "Income from engineered goods reached a similar level". I saw the increase in goods revenue. why you used "similar level".

[Trinh]

Hi Simon,

Thank you for giving us lots of useful lessons.

However, as some people already commented above, I think the sentence of "It is noticeable... over the period shown." seems missing some words to make it correctly?

I would write the sentence as below:
"It is noticeable that export revenues increased in all over the period shown except Germs and Jewelry."

[ielsa]

No, As for the first sentence, Simon's is correct. It means: the export revenues in all categories increased, but there is one exception, which is jewellery and gems.

"all but one" means "all except for one".

[Tony]

Dear Mr. Simon
I also have the same question as Binh mentioned, i think the word "increased" should be replaced by another, such as "decreased" or the likes.
Could you help me to understand your meaning by giving clear explainations for this sentence? Thanks you.
************************************
Dear ielsa.
Probably, you could have confused. "In all" is an idiom, loosely, this means "totally" quoted in oxford for leaner dictionary.

[Tony]

Finally, i have understood meaning of the sentence. I'm appolazie for my wrong assessment.

[Brian]

Hi Simon,

I would like to ask do we need a conclusion at the end, like summarising the trend or the whole picture?

Thanks