IELTS Writing Task 2: example-led paragraph

Let's look at what I call an 'example-led' paragraph. In this type of paragraph, we explain an opinion or develop an idea based on a single example.

Paragraph topic: music connects people from different cultures

Music can certainly reach across cultural and national boundaries and bring people together. Perhaps the best example of this would be the Live Aid concerts that took place back in the 1980s, and which were broadcast to a global audience. Two live events were held simultaneously in the UK and the US, and the objective was to raise funds for famine relief in Ethiopia. The concerts were a huge success, both in terms of the number of people around the world who watched them and their impact on international public awareness of the famine. They demonstrated, I believe, that music truly is the planet’s global language.

Analysis:

Notice how I introduce a key example after the topic sentence. In the rest of the paragraph, I simply describe the example in more detail, and I show how the example illustrates my point.

(You can read about the Live Aid concerts here)

Comments

[Gaurav]

Wow

[Sarvar]

That is another master piece from Simon. Thank you for such well written essay. Personally, I found it quite helpful.
Useful vocabularies I learned are as follows:
-reach across cultural and national boundaries
-bring people together
-global audience
-to be held simultaneously
-raise funds
-famine relief
-be a huge success
-international public awareness of sth

I believe we can use this style of writing paragraphs when we have a clear example related to the task with enough details.
I also liked the last statement of the paragraph. It is helping to link your example to the main point that you wanted to give.

[Simon]

Thanks Sarvar. Good, coherent writing can seem easy, but, as you noticed, it takes a lot of skill to write like this!

[Hirbod]

I`ve prepared a full essay for the main question. I really hope it is worth it. here it is:

It is said that one of the best ways to bring different age groups and cultures together is through music. I personally believe that the core idea behind making music is to make bonds among people, regardless of their age and culture.
Music is the universal language with which deep mental feelings are expressed. While it is true that one of the factors differentiating cultures from each other is their language aspect, emotions that human beings experience is similar the world over. It is by virtue of music that different nations are able to share their invisible emotions to one another, although the language barrier may cause difficulty in understanding what they sing. Michael Jackson, for instance, was a well-known American music composer who is admired in every corner of this globe. His romantic songs are greatly appreciated in non-English-speaking countries, namely Germany and Iran, solely because he had communicated his message of love through them. Thus, music as a communication tool can help with lifting cultural boundaries.
Furthermore, exposure to music is high in possibility for different demographics in the society due to its omnipresence. Whether they are in an elevator or on a sofa listening to the news, or even in a restaurant having a delicious meal, people are constantly listening to music from which they derive pleasure. Since, unlike robots, humans are willing to share their feelings, they invite others to join what is affecting them. Singing a happy birthday song shows to be a perfect example. Once a person starts singing the song, every present audience would instantly do the same to be a part of enjoyment, no matter of what age they might be. That is exactly what happens in events which draw huge crowds like concerts and music festivals. The age gap disappears as a result of the additional dimension which music brings with it.
In conclusion, having considered the mentioned argument, music is an inseparable part of human life. Should we transcend cultural barriers and age differences, it can assist us with accomplishing such end.

[RJ]

Hello dear, Simon
This actually is a wonderful illustration of
giving an example in an IELTS essay. As a matter of fact, this worries almost everyone as to what the right method of giving an example is.
This post of yours will surely benefit the test takers and the IELTS teachers alike.
May I request you to write more posts like this and guide us more on the ways of giving examples with the written samples ?

[Simon]

Thanks RJ. Yes, I'll do some more example-led paragraphs!